Page 28 of Velvet Sin (Elite Men of Los Angeles #5)

DANTE

“I ’m going to say it.” I pushed myself up on my elbow and frowned down at Lenny in all her naked glory, splayed out across the futon. “We need to get you a real bed. This is not cutting it.”

She giggled behind her hand, then quickly replaced it with a fake scowl. “Typical man. You come over, fuck me twice, then insult my furniture.”

“I’m not the one who has a problem with this. It’s my back.” I pressed a hand to it, wincing while she giggled again. “I’m not the kid I used to be. I need to think about things like this now.”

“Oh, please. You’re thirty-two.” With a very deliberate glance at my crotch, she asked, “Do I need to worry about other parts of your anatomy? It might be time to clear the air on that.”

“I haven’t heard you complain yet.” Her lips were too tempting, drawing a sigh from me when I tasted their sweetness.

She sighed, too, and the sound deepened into a groan while her hands ran through my hair.

I could have done this all day. Hell, I could’ve done it my whole life and died a happy man.

The simple pleasure of being here together like this, with no outside pressures, no expectations. Nothing but us.

I should’ve known it was too good to be true.

“You know something?” she whispered while I took a tour of her throat, lapping at the hollow above her collarbone, then moved farther down. When I grunted something like an acknowledgment, she announced, “You never said you were sorry.”

There went that. I stopped before I had the pleasure of tasting her nipples, raising my head with my heart wedged in my throat. “What?” Because at a time like this, ask stupid questions. I needed to stall. I had to catch up to whatever was in her head.

Her clear, frank gaze was damn unnerving. “You never said you were sorry. Do you know that?”

“I could’ve sworn I did.” My cock didn’t get the message, pressed up against her thigh as I watched her bare tits moving under me with every breath.

But with the way her words hit me, I couldn’t devour her like I wanted.

Couldn’t let my need to possess her body that was laid bare for me.

Instead, I stalled, recounting the embarrassment from the other night.

“I’m almost sure I said it as you got in the cab. If not, I know I texted?—”

When she pushed herself up on her elbows, I was forced back onto my knees. “I don’t mean what happened at the club. I mean, what happened the day we broke up. You never said you were sorry. And it’s bothered me all this time,” she admitted.

Why now? Why ever? “Why didn’t you?—”

She was on a roll tonight when it came to cutting me off. “Why didn’t I say anything? I didn’t want to ruin whatever this is now. I didn’t want to bring too much of the past into the present.”

Sitting up, she drew her knees close to her chest and wrapped her arms around them.

Only a few minutes ago, she was writhing in ecstasy, riding me while I thought for sure the damn futon was going to splinter under us.

Now, she was pensive, and the worry lines between her brows were deep.

“Let’s face it. You saw what I was married to.

You must remember enough about him to know what a prick he is…

dismissive and cruel, always needing to be right, always thinking he’s better.

So yeah, maybe I’ve gotten into the habit of shutting myself up before I say too much. Some fights just aren’t worth it.”

I wished I had broken the fucker’s nose, if not his neck. I, for sure, would have cracked his ribs if she hadn’t stopped me.

“I was a stupid, asshole kid,” I reminded her. “I didn’t know how good I had it.”

“Why do I feel like that’s bullshit?” Slowly, she turned her head until those clear, honest eyes of hers were trained on mine. Brutally frank, unblinking, they made me want to look away. Only a coward would do that, but then again, we were talking about the most cowardly thing I had ever done.

She wasn’t going to let me off the hook. “Fine. I knew exactly how good I had it, and I knew I was going to fuck it up anyway. Is that better?” When she flinched, I regretted my sharpness, but every word was true.

“But why?” Her voice was painfully soft now. “Why would you have fucked it up?”

“I never told you about my happy home life, did I?”

Her head snapped back like I had surprised her. “I know your mother is super religious, of course. You’ve talked about that.”

“Right, because that’s all I wanted you to know.

I was ashamed. Here I am…” I pointed out, snickering, “… running a club where people can put shame away, telling myself I’m providing a service, and I guess that’s because I know what shame is…

like being ashamed that your hopeless gambling addict of a father left you and your mom when you were ten years old.

Before then, he had bounced around from job to job.

I found out later it was because he kept stealing to feed his habit. ”

“Oh, no.” Lenny sighed. I loved and hated her for the way her face fell. There was the pity I never wanted to see, right on schedule.

No way could I stand it. Staring down at the futon’s flowered cover instead, I continued, “That was when Mom really sank into spirituality. When she had to work like a dog to make ends meet once she found out Dad gambled away the house. That kind of shame lives inside you. You’re sure everybody else knows.

Like they can see it on you or smell it on you. Being poor like that.”

“That was why you transferred schools,” she whispered, like a big mystery had finally been solved. “And we met.”

I nodded. “My aunt had a friend with a few houses available to rent. He gave us a place to live for way less than what he could have charged when Mom offered to clean all his other properties. That was on top of her full-time job at the bank. I still don’t know how she did it all.

I only know it was never quite enough. But she wanted us to live in a nice area so I could go to a better school. ”

“I’m not trying to make excuses.” I needed her to know that, or else this would all have been for nothing.

Poking around in old wounds that should’ve been scar tissue a long time ago.

“I’m only trying to explain. When you were so hyped about our futures and what we were going to do after college, I blanked.

I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I only knew it would never be enough.

You came from a good family. You were raised well, you were comfortable, you had…

expectations. Whenever you talked about what you wanted to do someday, you always said it had to be something steady and reliable. Do you remember that?”

Her cheeks went flush before she turned away from me, touching her forehead to her folded arms. “Oh, Dante. Why couldn’t you have told me all of that? You think I had it so good?”

“What does that mean?”

“Do you want to know why I’ve always been obsessed with making the right choice, the smart move, the steady job?” she asked, and I grunted. “Do you remember the summer before senior year when I changed my mind about where I wanted to go to college?”

I remembered how relieved I was that she gave up on the idea of going to Harvard or Penn, thousands of miles away. “Yeah, it happened out of nowhere.”

“It wasn’t out of nowhere. Dad’s business partner took everything.” She sniffled, shaking her head, then continued in a thick voice, “I mean everything. The guy had power of attorney over the whole business.”

“No fucking way.” The idea left my balls feeling sore like they’d been kicked hard. Talk about worst nightmares.

“You have no idea how many times my folks warned me to never, ever tell anybody what happened,” she confessed.

“It would’ve killed my father if anyone knew he trusted the wrong person.

So I had to come up with a reason why I was choosing a school I knew I could get into and get scholarship money for since there was no way we could afford Harvard at that point. ”

Her short, bitter laugh made my chest ache. “Not that it mattered where I went in the end, right? I never used my degree, never went for my MBA like I always wanted.”

“Things change,” I offered, and there was relief in the brief smile she shone on me. Gratitude, maybe.

“Dad walked around like a zombie when he wasn’t openly blaming himself,” she continued.

“I couldn’t even mention we were out of milk without him getting emotional and apologizing because he couldn’t provide everything I needed.

So I was afraid to say anything. I didn’t want to set him off, didn’t want to set Mom off. ”

“Was that why they downsized after you graduated?” I asked, and she nodded in response.

“Sure, who needs all that square footage when the nest is empty?” She rolled her eyes, snickering softly.

“I mean, people wouldn’t even ask why they moved, and that excuse would come out.

It was so obvious they were both fighting to hide the truth. ”

Tears shone in her eyes when she finally looked at me.

“So if I wanted something steady, that was why. Not because I wanted to be rich and live this lavish life. I just wanted to be safe. I thought you would want to be safe too. I wasn’t trying to pressure you into being who I wanted you to be, really. ”

Dammit all. She was right. I should’ve told her everything a long time ago instead of letting shame rule my decisions.

Reaching out, I stroked her hair, fumbling for the right words.

“I am sorry,” I told her, and I felt her relax under my hand as it stroked her neck.

“I didn’t know how to say it back then, but I have felt it every single day.

Knowing I fucked up by hurting you, knowing every day that passed would make it that much more impossible to make things right.

And then you got married. I told myself you were better off without me. ”

When she arched an eyebrow, I gave in. “And that you finally got what you wanted. Satisfied? I was petty and childish.”

“Thank you.” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, releasing it through pursed lips.

“And thank you for telling me everything. I just want the truth. No more lying, no more hiding for either of us. I’m tired of it,” she decided, her eyes popping open and searching mine for agreement.

“Right? We tell each other the truth. We don’t leave things unsaid. ”

“Agreed.” I would have agreed to anything so long as it made her happy.

So long as she smiled so sweetly as I leaned in for a kiss that turned into more, stretching us out across the futon.

I didn’t feel so uncomfortable anymore. I only felt her under me and her hands tracing a familiar path over my body.

We could’ve had this from the beginning. We could’ve been together always. No Cameron, no years of me trying to fill the hole left behind.

Rolling on a condom, I turned over again and found my place between her parted thighs.

She was warm, wet. Home. She was where I would want to be, always.

Like this, locked together, so I could hear her sweet sighs and feel the gentle sting of her nails as they danced their way up my back and down again.

Her soft moans when I drove myself deep, savoring every inch. I wanted nothing more than this.

“Move in with me.” It came out before the thought had fully materialized, hanging between us in the air. I went still, buried inside her, while she blinked rapidly. Was I asking too much? Was it too soon?

No, as it turned out. Her radiant smile lit up every last inch of what had been dark and cold inside me for too long. “Of course I will.”