Page 20 of Velvet Sin (Elite Men of Los Angeles #5)

ELEANOR

“I ’m tired of talking about me.” Somehow, I managed to laugh and make it sound natural. I knew going to brunch with the girls would be a challenge, trying to keep my stories straight, knowing they would pump me for information I wasn’t ready to share.

I didn’t understand how exhausting it would be to stay engaged throughout the meal.

It was easier when we pretty much lived the same lives.

Homemakers, wives of successful men. Stepford wives.

Comparing decorating tips, giving each other the lowdown on interesting things we found at our favorite stores.

Maybe even giggling over the hot guy at the gym or the handyman who came by to clean the gutters. Harmless fun.

Harmless and boring.

When did they get so boring? Was the problem because it didn’t seem like they had actually changed? It must have been me. I had changed over the course of a month.

One month since I started working at Club Kink.

“Why are you being so secretive?” Izzy winked at the other girls, folding her arms on the table and leaning in. I recognized the wicked look in her eyes and knew what was coming. “You’re seeing somebody, aren’t you?”

She knew how to pick her moments, didn’t she? I damn near choked on my mimosa and had to fight to keep it from shooting out of my nose. The other girls laughed while Izzy sat back, smirking triumphantly. “I thought so,” she concluded.

“But I’m not,” I insisted, earning more laughter from the three of them. “Really. What gave you that idea?”

“You're glowing, for starters,” Casey pointed out, waving a hand over her face, then pointed to mine. “It’s almost kind of obnoxious. I was going to ask if you started using a new moisturizer or something.”

“I have, now that you mention it.” Whatever it took for her to believe me and drop the subject.

None of them knew about Dante or my past with him.

As far as they were concerned, I hadn’t existed before marrying Cameron.

I didn’t talk much about my youth beyond the fact that I went to UCLA like Cameron.

We had met there, bonded over the fact that we came from the same city, and my life had truly begun.

What a fucking joke.

I wasn’t about to dredge up all of the pain of being cheated on, though the three of them had similar stories to mine, which they had shared early in our friendship. They were only boyfriends, nothing important. Not like Dante and me.

None of the girls had planned on spending the rest of their lives with the men who broke their hearts, men they had known since they were kids, had grown up with, had dated all through high school and college, and even lost their virginity to.

I was too proud to admit I had pinned all of my hopes on the wrong person.

If I told them now, there was an extremely good chance word would get back to my ex-husband.

He knew Dante from school. He had always resented Dante.

Not that I would’ve minded driving Cameron a little crazy.

It was knowing he would call me that kept my mouth shut.

He was the last person on earth I wanted to hear from.

“And you’re all relaxed and smiley. I can’t remember the last time I saw you like that,” Megan pointed out. “You’re getting some, aren’t you?”

“Please,” Izzy begged. “Let us live vicariously. I can’t tell you the last time I got more than a few pumps and a pat on my ass afterward.”

“Alex’s idea of foreplay is squeezing my boob when he passes by,” Casey sighed. “Like, wow, babe. I totally want to suck your dick now. You cracked the code.” I could laugh along with them since I could relate.

It reminded me of our night at the club when I felt like they were using me as a way of making up for what they were missing.

I was right, as it turned out, and I felt sorry for them.

I felt sorry for me, too, because I had accepted that sort of treatment for much too long.

“All I’m saying is, it doesn’t have to be that way,” I concluded, polishing off my drink.

“Not saying you all have to get divorced like me. But… don’t sell yourselves short either. ”

“Wow. You really have changed,” Megan decided with a smile. “I almost hope Luke cheats on me.”

I winced, and her face fell. “I’m sorry,” she blurted out while blushing to the roots of her bleached hair. “That was out of line. It was funnier in my head.”

Reaching across the table, I patted her hand.

“It’s okay. But I wouldn’t wish it on anybody.

” And I had officially sat at this table for too long.

Had we grown apart? Maybe we had, or maybe we were only friends because we happened to be married to friends who spent a lot of time together. A situational friendship.

Still, I promised to meet up when Izzy suggested we make this a monthly thing. “Since you’re so busy with your new job and everything,” she added, dropping her voice to a whisper. “Which she won’t tell any of us about.”

“It’s really boring. Trust me, there is nothing to report.”

Just getting flogged on a cross.

A total fucking drag.

It was dangerous to let myself indulge in the memories while I was out in public.

I couldn’t help the way my body reacted—breath catching, nipples tightening, my pussy going hot and achy.

Good thing I was only saying my goodbyes instead of driving since the only thing I saw in front of me wasn’t my friends but instead the crowd who’d watched the demonstration.

I had come in front of all of them, louder and harder than I ever had in my whole life.

Wouldn’t that have made for some interesting brunch conversation?

I could’ve described for the girls the added thrill of basically performing in front of strangers.

Of knowing they were witnessing me being driven to the edge of my sanity by pleasure beyond anything I had ever imagined.

Having no choice but to beg for relief when I was sure I’d die if the torture didn’t end soon or letting Dante break me down until there was no more conscious thought. Only feeling.

Yeah, and they would’ve had me committed instead of wishing me well before we parted ways.

Okay, so there was a lot to talk about, process, and question myself over. How much I’d loved it. How right it felt leaving myself in Dante’s hands.

How shocked and dismayed I was when he first showed up and took over the demonstration. “ Only with me. ” He had made sure to repeat that, which told me his reaction had nothing to do with me breaking club rules and everything to do with his jealousy. He wanted me all to himself.

My feelings on that were still conflicted. He was never so possessive back when we were together. He got jealous like any other human being, but the deep growl in his voice that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up was new.

And it excited me a little too much, so much that I was fully prepared to go along with his rules so long as I got to do that again.

Over and over. There was also the whole Cameron aspect.

He had been possessive, too, and wanted me all to himself, but what had I gotten out of it besides years of nights spent unfulfilled, longing? Loneliness.

Now, there was something in it for me.

I was making a deal with the devil, and I knew it, but I wasn’t going to let fear stop me now.

No way. I was going to keep learning more about myself, what I wanted and needed.

I’d put myself last for much too long with nothing to show for it but an empty résumé, an emptier bank account, and too much regret.

Besides, I could’ve done a hell of a lot worse than exploring with a partner who knew what he was doing and wouldn’t take advantage of me.

He didn’t have to assure me of that. I felt it.

I had plenty of stories to tell. They just didn’t happen to be stories I would share with nearly anyone.

* * *

“How do you do it?”

Dante looked up from his laptop, open on the island separating the kitchen from the living room in his new house.

There was still plenty of furniture left to be delivered, but then he had only closed on it a few days ago.

When the man decided what he wanted, nothing could get in his way.

And as he liked to point out, money made things move faster.

He could afford a cash purchase, express shipping, and an entire team of movers to set things up.

“How do I do what?” he asked, sounding distracted. “Sorry. I’m reviewing some financials from one of the LA clubs.”

“I was just wondering…” Now, I felt stupid for blurting out the question, but I had only left brunch an hour ago before doing a little grocery shopping and coming over here.

I had suggested making him a nice dinner for his first night in his new house as a friendly gesture, since actual friends seemed to be the one thing he missed in his otherwise abundant life.

Would I ever admit that observation? Hell, no. His pride wouldn’t allow for that.

He insisted on staring at me, so I finished the question. “How do you balance your life? I mean, business versus personal?”

He heaved a sigh, closing the laptop and turning his full attention to me. That was rare. It had to mean he was serious. “In case you haven’t figured it out yet, business is my life. It has been for a very long time. I don’t have much of a personal life, per se.”

“Is that enough?”

He lifted a broad shoulder under his polo shirt, the yellow hue working well with his tanned skin. “So far, yes. I have goals. I don’t have a lot of time for fucking around, hanging out with the guys, drinking some beer over the game.”

Thinking back, I mused, “You never really were that type of person, were you? I think that’s what I liked about you from the beginning. You weren’t some… bro. ” I grabbed my imaginary junk like I was adjusting myself, narrowing my eyes and jerking my chin his way.