Page 72 of Veil of Vasara (Fate of the Five #1)

CHAPTER 72- ELIEL

L ady Dyna swallowed the food cautiously, taking small pieces at a time.

“Is it not to your tastes, My Lady?” I asked her.

Her cutlery clanked hard against her dish as she jerked her hand up in a defensive gesture. “No, Your Majesty, it’s lovely, I just…I…” She looked down then back up at me quickly. “Apologies. You’ve set out such fine food…I just don’t have much of an appetite.”

I nodded with understanding. Neither did I.

This was the fourth person I had dined with in the space of less than two hours.

This was the final stage of the Courting Season. I would dine with each of the candidates one at a time, unaccompanied by their escorts. The idea was to permit the King or Queen a chance to converse with, and better understand the candidates before they made their final decision.

One meal, as if that would be enough. It wouldn’t have surprised me if the truth behind the Lady’s loss of appetite was nervousness. Not, due to my own presence, but because this meal was her final chance to make an impression on me.

It felt almost malicious to feign these interactions, to raise the Lady’s hopes not high, but to any level at all, considering that as far as I was concerned, her age had automatically made her an unsuitable choice.

Not that this was the attitude of the nobles of the Court, or the Council. Some of them held the view that the Kalnasan Lady would be a good Queen, an ideal one.

By that, they meant that because of her age, she would be docile, easy to command and easier for them to influence.

But I had no interest in influencing any of these candidates, at all.

The Lady and I had already passed several minutes in conversation. Our time was nearly at an end.

As with all the candidates, the time of their meal was limited to half of an hour.

Dyna placed her cutlery down, wiping at her face with a handkerchief softly and hesitantly. She cleared her throat before speaking.

“Your Majesty. Regardless of the outcome I…wanted to thank you.”

My face remained impassive, save for the slight arch of one eyebrow.

“Thank me?” I inquired.

She nodded. “For helping me, when I was sick, and for your promise.”

I smiled at her gently.

“Your Majesty, I hope that you will allow me to ask, has there been any…progress?”

“On which matter, My Lady?” I placed my own drink down and shifted in my seat slightly.

“Both matters, Your Majesty,” she half-whispered.

I sighed regretfully. The promise the Captain had requested had not been unexpected, considering Kalnasa’s state, however, enacting it was another matter altogether. To provide that much aid to one Kingdom would take much time, and resources, and it would also be an issue with several nobles.

After the festival, I had heard many had spoken about the results of Thrice Dice, and that several were unhappy with the promise I had made. How, they had asked, would we afford it? Why should we save Kalnasa from their own destruction?

But not once had a wish granted through Thrice Dice been refused.

“With regards to the promise I made to the Captain,” I started. “Such a request will take time. Trade has been blocked by…those protesting in Kalnasa’s outer cities. We will need to negotiate with these groups and convey our intentions to them. Then, for such a large number of provisions to be gathered, agreed upon, and transported, a large meeting of the nobility across Vasara will need to take place first. It is being planned as we speak, but even then, My Lady, I cannot say how long that will take. In the meantime, I have instructed many merchants and suppliers to put aside at least five percent of their stores to be sent to the Palace, which I intend to pay for, and send onto Kalnasa, but until the grand meeting is held…it will likely not be enough. The instauration of Kalnasa will be…difficult.”

I leant forwards, elbows on the table. Dyna blinked several times, clearly, she had not anticipated I would answer at such length.

While she was in a state of confusion, I continued, “Unfortunately, those searching have not found the culprit of your poisoning, but I am confident that matter will be resolved. And soon.”

The Lady nodded. “Thank you, your Majesty. I understand that the promise you made is…challenging and that the Captain asked for much but, I hope you understand his reasons.”

“I do, My Lady. You and he care greatly for your people. It was wise for the Captain to use such a chance to ask for something so ambitious.”

Dyna smiled, chuckled slightly, and swallowed some of her drink. “Unlike Audra’s Prince. I can’t believe he only asked for a hairpin,” she mumbled into her glass as she continued to sip.

I frowned in thought.

“It is certainly unusual,” I replied.

“I—" Dyna opened her mouth to respond.

But the doors to our left opened. “Your Majesty, the time is up. The final candidate awaits.”

Dyna rose and curtsied, spreading out the bottom half of her wine red dress. I nodded in acknowledgement. She swiftly drifted towards the doors which closed behind her.

Moments later they opened once again. I rose.

Loria stood unmoving, in front of the doors which had closed behind her. The dark dress which covered her arms but exposed her shoulders, only made her blend in with the shadows even more.

“Please, Your Highness…sit.” I gestured at the seat opposite the table.

Loria smiled, half-heartedly. She walked out of the shade, wincing a little as the sun struck her, and shrouded the vision across her dark golden eyes, before regaining her composure, and sitting down.

I too sat down, once she was settled.

“You look wonderful,” I stated.

Loria sat up straighter as some servants plated her food. I raised the fingers on my left hand from the table to refuse any more. Despite the fact I had eaten only minimal quantities with each meal, I was already full, overly so.

“As do you, Your Majesty,” she returned the compliment.

“You’ll have to forgive my impudence. Please feel free to enjoy whichever of the dishes you like. I’ve had my fill of them unfortunately.” I glanced at the food.

Loria shook her head. “You are the King, you may do as you please, Your Majesty.”

You may do as you please .

Many of the things I wished to do, things that might please me, were completely outside the capabilities of someone who occupied a throne.

At the thought, my lips curled up slightly.

“Do you truly believe so?” I asked her.

Loria’s hand froze as she reached for her glass, her eyes meeting mine in the same instant.

She looked away and grabbed her drink hurriedly.

“You are right,” she said after a long moment of silence, “Being a King has its limitations as well.”

“As does being a Queen,” I added.

Loria searched my face, as if looking for a hidden meaning behind my words.

“Yes… that is true,” she said after a pause.

I watched her mannerisms, the way in which she slid her fingers around the chalice, the way she held the gold metal to her lips and cast her eyes downwards into the wine. Was she calm? Was she terrified? There was no way of knowing. She was like her brother in that regard, her emotions hidden too well.

“Have you enjoyed the season?”

“It has been…” she searched for a word, “Eventful.”

I thought about her statement, the opening ceremony with Elias’ arrival, the Coronation with the Vessel’s assassination attempt, Lady Dyna’s poisoning.

“You are right. My question was in poor taste. Considering everything that has happened, it would be impossible to enjoy it,” I said thoughtfully.

She remained silent for some moments, not contradicting but not affirming the statement.

“It will be over soon, Your Majesty,” she stated gently. Her voice was soothing, her attempt to console me obvious.

“I’m sure you are glad of that.”

Loria smiled softly. “Whatever the outcome, you shall have a Queen. It is cause to celebrate.”

“Especially if that Queen is not you?” I rested my chin upon my right hand.

Loria squinted. “You jest surely?” Her brows evened out. “I would be honoured, but I would be equally pleased for you, should you choose another, Your Majesty.”

“I jest?” I raised an eyebrow. “Then what is it…that you are doing?”

A slight line between Loria’s eyebrows formed. “What is it… you would like me to do?”

“This may be our last conversation. Wouldn’t it be simpler if we could speak freely?”

“ Can we speak freely?” Loria retorted instantly, almost reflexively.

I gestured around the room. “We are the only one’s here.”

Loria glanced around it doubtfully, as if she truly wondered whether that were the case, as if she expected someone to emerge from behind the curtains, at the edges of the windows.

“I asked you once, but you did not answer. Given the choice…would you have come here at all?” I asked.

Loria’s eyes returned to mine. Her lips parted then closed.

She shrugged. “I cannot truly say what it is I wish for and what it is I feel compelled to do. I do not know which is obligation and which is want.”

“What about the things you do not wish for? Surely you must know those?”

Loria’s eyelashes flickered, “I suppose.”

“And what… are they?” I leant further into my right hand.

Loria watched my movement, which must have appeared flippant and casual in manner to her.

“To be…confined, or…used.”

“It could be argued that being a Queen involves both of those things.”

“Not necessarily,” Loria stated, “It depends on the King, does it not?”

“On a great deal more, unfortunately,” I replied softly.

“You ask me difficult questions, Your Majesty.” Loria looked down at her food, cutting it as she spoke. “If my answers are…vague, it is not because I do not wish to speak freely with you, but because I am unsure of their answer.”

I watched her wrists and fingers move across the silverware.

“I think there is a great deal you are sure about. Why do you pretend otherwise?”

Loria’s knife froze on her plate, but her wrists resumed their movements in less than a fraction of a second. “You think too highly of me, Your Majesty.”

“It is not that I think too highly of you, only that others think too little.”

Loria finished slicing the food on her plate into portions. However, instead of placing any in her mouth, she placed her cutlery crossed atop it, and looked up.

“It is easier that way, Your Majesty. I am sure you understand.”

I raised my brows. I was surprised to hear her admit it.

“I imagine you think you are protecting yourself, by deceiving others as to your true level of comprehension and knowledge. Or that you believe if the expectations from others towards you are low, that you can never fail to meet them.” My voice rose questioningly.

“Something akin to that,” Loria subtly nodded.

“But if everyone constantly maintains low expectations of you, then you will begin to expect little of yourself, demand little, convince yourself you are no more than that which others have deemed you.” I leant forwards deeply into the table. “Why would someone such as yourself wish to do that for the remainder of their existence? Wouldn’t it be"— I paused, unintentionally, watching her apprehensive expression before finishing— “a waste?”

Loria smiled genuinely, blinking a few times. She seemed to have found my insinuation that such a way of life would be a ‘waste’ amusing.

“But I digress,” I leant back. “It is our choice alone how we live with the circumstances we find ourselves in.”

Loria was silent for a moment. “Your Majesty, I do not…mind if others believe it is a waste. Is it not better to live a life you choose, regardless of what others may believe of its value, than one which others deem worthy, but which you do not care for? Would the latter not be the true waste?”

The way she answered questions, the way she wove words had, from the first moment I had spoken with her, fascinated me, impressed me even.

“And is being Queen…one of those scenarios…that you would not care for?”

“No,” Loria shook her head. “Not your Queen.”

My lips parted in surprised at her response.

Loria noticed. “You said…that we could speak freely, Your Majesty.”

I felt myself grin. “Yes, but I did not truly expect you to do so.”

Loria smiled as well. “Such low expectations you have of me, Your Majesty.”

I chuckled a little. “I already told you my expectations of you are not ones which you could fail to meet, but that is not because they are low.”

“Then why, Your Majesty?” Loria pressed.

I watched her torso rise and fall in sharp breaths as she waited for my reply.

“Because…I feel I do not truly understand you. That makes you…interesting.”

Loria frowned. “Can we truly understand anyone?”

I took a deep breath, narrowing my eyes and smiling slightly before I spoke. “Lady Dyna believes being Queen to be the salvation for her people, but she is wrong. Princess Maiwen, it is clear, has no interest in being Queen, nor does she seem to possess the temperament suitable for it. Princess Rhana is in love with someone else. I cannot say who, but it is obvious her heart lies elsewhere. While that doesn’t seem to deter her from taking the throne by my side, it will invariably become a problem. The Lady Tarren is only interested in the idea of what being Queen could be, the title, the riches, the jewels, she has no knowledge of what it will truly entail. That is likely because her father, who was friends with my own, has no intention of informing her, lest that ruin the ardency at which she pursues this marriage. But you"—I breathed out slowly— “I do not truly understand.”

“Some would say that is not a good thing, Your Majesty,” she replied warily.

“Perhaps you are right. But it is…intriguing, and it means that any expectations I have had of you have constantly shifted, and risen.”

“And what expectations are those, Your Majesty?”

I stood. Loria’s head rose to meet my eyes and followed them as I walked down the length of the table and over to her seat.

I reached out my hand. It hovered near her cheek, not touching her, only tracing the outline of her oval shaped face through the air. The space between our skin prickled with an insistent energy. Wild and impatient. Persistent yet delicate. A charge, I knew, she too could feel, by the widening of her eyes.

Those eyes were fixed upon me, wondering, waiting, expectant.

My hand stilled before I answered.

“I expect you to say yes.”