Page 12 of Veil of Vasara (Fate of the Five #1)

CHAPTER 12- LORIA

N athon had been gone for four hours. It had been the only time in my life when I’d actually wished for his presence.

Despite the undeniable beauty of this building, it was still unsettling to be here. I wish I had come here under different circumstances. I wish I could have had the time and ability to admire the paintings, the walls, the plants, the ceilings, and windows properly.

Instead, my thoughts were solely preoccupied with this ceremony, and what I was supposed to do while I was there.

What I had been instructed to do after it.

Sickness swam inside my stomach. I hadn’t eaten anything since the morning. I couldn’t bear the thought of eating, or of hundreds of gazes fixed my way as I was introduced as the candidate of Audra later. I shuddered involuntarily as I imagined it and closed my eyes.

A while after Nathon had left, a servant had shown me to this room. She had said little, but the words she did utter sounded stifled and fuelled with nervous anxiety. I almost wished I could reach out and hold her hand, to tell her I was just as scared as she was, but she darted away like a startled mouse as soon as she had shown me in.

The room was very different to the ones at Audra. The ceilings were lower, the walls were white, the bed frame was white, the floors were tiled. The bed sheets and furniture were an amalgamation of rust, amber, and ruby.

There was a very large set of double doors leading out onto a balcony. I’d stepped onto it the first second I had arrived here, trying to escape from the stifling heat. It hadn’t worked. I had stayed there anyway, before being ambushed by a large pigeon. It had been peering at me with an almost sympathetic gaze, as if it could sense my distress. My experience with the Erebask as a child had made me uncomfortable around all birds in general, and so, I had spent far too much time trying to chase it away.

The cloaks arrived next, one was scarlet, another was amber, and another was gold. I bathed as soon as they did, without calling upon any assistance. I did not wish to be scrubbed at like a mare. Again. Let me feel a woman a while longer. Before this all began.

The hot water stripped me of the sweat and soil I had picked up on the road. Stepping out of it, I strode towards the dress. I considered asking for different one, but I knew it would be viewed as a liberty here. All the candidates were dressed in garments from their home Kingdom, specifically for the Opening Ceremony. A cloak was one thing, I could make excuses for that. I was too hot for my former, and too cool to do without one, but to change my dress altogether, there would be no explanation for that. My father and mother would hear of it.

An unease rose in my chest, that familiar feeling of nervousness fraying at my composure. Always they chipped away at it, like I was wood, and they the flame come to waste me away. I loathed it, and still, I could not douse that fire.

I placed the dress on again, and opted for the gold, and largest cloak I’d been sent. Unlike the thick hooded cloak I had been wearing from Audra, this was light, and made from a fluid, near transparent material. It hung over my shoulders in a straight line, with an ornate clasp in the shape of the sun fastening its two sides together. From there it spilt to the floor.

I was admiring the garment when a knock sounded at the door.

“Some food for you, Princess.” The serving girl's voice was quivering. She held a plate of fruit and appetisers with her shaking hands.

“Thank you.” I went to take the plate from the girl’s hands. She stared at me wide eyed.

“It’s alright, you can go.” I smiled softly as I gently eased the plate from her tight grip. I had forgotten most Princesses were served more directly across the Kingdoms, and that a noble taking food from a servant’s hands was highly peculiar.

I was very rarely at the Citadel’s grounds in Audra, which meant I usually avoided the servants and did things for myself. That was a small price to pay for being as far away from my family as possible, as often as possible.

“Your Highness, they told me to inform you the ceremony will start in an hour.”

I smiled again, mentally panicking about the fact Nathon was not here. Part of me was beginning to wonder if he had intentionally left me alone for this event. It was something he would do, I thought.

“Thank you for the message,” I said. The girl curtsied and left.

I placed the plate on the nearest table and sighed. As I scratched my temple, I noticed the pigeon at the double doors again. I strode across the room and opened them, attempting to rid myself of this feathered creature’s company permanently.

Laughter reached my ears.

I turned to my left. There on the balcony protruding from the room next to me, was a woman. Another candidate, I presumed.

Her brown curls bounced from side to side as she shook her head. “Very ladylike.” She chuckled.

I didn’t know what to say. I hadn’t yet prepared myself for a formal conversation. I thought I’d have another hour at least.

“Relax… Gods,” she held up her hands.

“You’re from Zeima,” was all I could think to reply. A Kingdom perpetually dusted in snow.

“Yes, so being here is like walking straight into an inferno,” she said, fanning herself with her hand.

Even without the heat.

“It must be hard for you too. Although maybe not…” She corrected herself as she took in my cloak. “Audra is humid after all.”

She, on the other hand, was wearing a grey dress that shone against her dark skin. Its transparent sleeves ended with cuffs of bright blue gems. Flowers of similar colours were placed in a band across the bed of her thick curls.

“Yes,” I said. “It is not so difficult an adjustment as would be for you,” I smiled.

“Or the Kalnasans,” she mused. “I’ve heard it often rains there.”

She was ready for the ceremony, and we were engaged in stilted conversation about the weather. This was it. This ridiculous terrifying game had begun.

Perhaps I would actually be sick.

“I’m Rhana,” she declared. Rhana was the Crown Princess of Zeima. She was the youngest of the four heirs there, the other three being men.

I cleared my throat, dry from the heat and anxiety. “I’m Loria.”

“The Princess then.”

“As are you,” I replied.

“Aren’t we fortunate?”

“Of course.”

“A true honour.”

“It is.”

We were saying all the right things, the right words, but it felt as if a thousand others existed between those lines. Words which were equivalent to something like, "If only we were our brothers."

“Who’s your escort?” She asked. I could tell she wasn’t truly interested by the tone of her voice. She was simply trying to find a way to maintain dignified conversation.

I regretted the fact I could not avoid answering, and that my answer was, “My brother.”

I would have assumed that Rhana, like many Royals, had been trained in some way to hide her emotions. But the shock and fear that spread across her face at my answer was as clear to me as the cloudless sky above us. She looked as if she had involuntarily held her breath.

“Who is yours?” I said, trying to divert her attention elsewhere.

“Your brother is your escort?” she asked slowly.

“He is.” My hand was clutching the front of the cloak so hard I thought I might tear through the fabric.

“How…” She cut herself off. “Then it will be an honour to meet him.” She raised her chin, looking at me directly with her grey blue eyes.

“He will be glad to hear that,” I nodded.

From the weather to blatant lies. This is precisely how I had anticipated such interactions to go.

“A member of our guard, Jayli.”

“A woman?” The pitch of my voice rose.

Female guards and army members did exist, but they were few in number, and still often perceived to be lesser warriors than the men. I was surprised then, they had sent a female as an escort with the Princess.

“She’s equally as skilled as any man. If not more so.”

“Apologies. I never meant to imply otherwise.” My palms were sweating. The words between her lines were clear. “My escort could kill you, or anyone else easily.”

“I know,” she smiled. “We women know our strength is often ignored.”

I wasn’t sure I cared about being ignored. I’d happily be underestimated, a second thought, left in peace. I didn’t want to be something. I didn’t want to prove anything. Be beholden to another’s expectations or desires.

There was the faint sound of a knock at Rhana’s door. She looked into her room, then back at me. “I will see you there, Princess.” She took her hands off the railing and slid into her chambers.

I enjoyed some time in silence on the balcony, perhaps twenty minutes, maybe thirty, before Nathon came barging into mine.

He whistled in approval as he looked around, slamming the door behind him. He meandered towards me with his usual imperious step.

“Fit for a Queen.” He wriggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“That is the point,” I said without turning around.

“Welcome back Nathon, oh Nathon, I’ve missed you, I was so worried Nathon.” He raised his voice to a high pitch, clearly meant to imitate my own.

He flanked me. He too had clearly bathed, having changed out of his former attire. He was now wearing a dark silken chemise, small golden gems at its cuffs and waistline.

I stared at him with disdain, I didn’t even try to hide it. I did not have the energy for his antics.

“You know, we should probably devise some kind of system.” He placed his hands behind his back, looking down at the streets below.

“What kind of system?” I followed his eyes to the ground.

“A way we’ll know if one of us is in danger. Say… we meet every day, or every few, at a certain time in a certain place, and if we’re not there, then we’ll know.”

“You’re my escort, won’t you be around me all the time?” I asked, irritated.

“Most of the time yes, but unfortunately for you, no. I have things to do, remember?” He outstretched his arms across the railings.

“Fine,” I agreed reluctantly. “Where and when?”

“I don’t know yet. I’ll need to look around, find somewhere that’s private enough, but easy enough for us to get to quickly.”

“So, we don’t have a system then.”

“Patience Loria, we will and…” he paused, “I have a feeling we will need it.”

I grimaced at his words. He noticed. We stood there unmoving, not speaking for a few minutes.

“Do you think we’ll die?” I asked him suddenly, unemotionally.

I could hardly believe I had. I could hardly believe I had just asked Nathon a question so revealing of my fears and thoughts.

He didn’t say anything for a few moments, but I could feel him looking at me with an expression that showed he was just as surprised as I was at my question.

“I think it would be a waste,” he answered quietly.

“What would?”

“For us to die.”

I rolled my eyes. “Of course, because you’re such a blessing to the world.”

“No.” He shook his head, chuckling to himself. “It would be a waste for us to have survived what we did, only to die now.”

I turned my whole body to him. He wasn’t facing me anymore, he was just facing forwards, not really focusing on anything.

“Don’t you think?” He tilted his head towards me.

I was stunned and confused. He was looking at me with such sincerity I was completely thrown off guard. I felt as if I was looking at someone I didn’t even know. A stranger.

“I think it doesn’t work that way,” I said carefully. “I think nothing works that way,” my voice trailed off.

“But still. It would be, wouldn’t it?”

Why was he so concerned about my answer? Why was he looking at me with such pity… pity in his eyes?

“Maybe. Maybe not. But that’s not what I meant. I meant—"

“I know what you meant. And I meant what I said. It would be a waste. I don’t like waste. So, I’m going to do everything possible to make sure our lives are not wasted…or lost,” he spat out quickly and aggressively.

I rubbed my hand against my forehead. “I hope it works.”

“So do I.” Then laughing again, he said, “After all, I am a blessing to this world, it would be such a shame for it to lose me.”

“I think you’re more of a curse.”

“Perhaps a bit of both.” He winked, digging into the pocket of his black loose pants, and pulling out some jewellery.

Some green jewellery.

It was simple, understated, but it was very beautiful. Nathon’s smug facial expression made it clear he expected a response.

“Oh well, our task has been accomplished, we can go back to Audra now,” I said dryly.

He clasped his hands over the jewels in surprise. “You can make a joke after all.”

“Only if it’s at your expense,” I mumbled.

“Just wear it, will you? You’re already at a disadvantage wearing that cloak. Are you sure you can’t just take it off?” His face looked contorted with awkward confusion, as if he wished he didn’t have to ask.

“I am sure.”

He sighed in resignation and dropped the necklace into my hands. I clasped it around my neck, it was high enough to be a choker of sorts.

Nathon nodded in something akin to approval.

“How did you find this?” I asked.

“I have my ways.”

“Did they involve danger of some kind?”

Nathon looked as if he was genuinely considering his answer. “Time will tell.”

“What does that mean?” I scowled.

“It means exactly what it means. I do not know yet.” He leant on the railing with his right elbow.

“We’re in enough danger as it is Nathon,” I said, distressed.

“Trust me Loria I—"

“That’s the last thing I can do.”

He closed his eyes slowly and then opened them. “Well, you don’t really have a choice, do you?”

He glared at me meaningfully for a few moments, obviously vexed. I gritted my teeth, bit at my lip, and turned away from him, walking back into the room.

He was right. I didn’t have a choice, and my life was largely in his hands. My life had always been in someone else’s hands, never my own.

Another knock at the door. “It’s time Princess,” the same girl said.

Nathon had come into the room, after hearing the girl speak. We looked at each other.

“No wasting,” he said to me.

I nodded and we opened the door out into the halls.