Page 5 of Veil of Shadows (Fae of Woodlands & Wild #2)

CHAPTER 5

A moment of lightness broke through the prince’s aura. “Why don’t you sit for this.”

He led me to one of the plush chairs and then rounded on my former guardian. “You’re to use the adaptor to permanently loosen the collar to the maximum of your ability.”

Guardian Alleron opened his mouth, but no sound came out.

Jax growled, and a pulse of his magic puffed out of him around my guardian.

My guardian sucked in a breath when Jax’s magic lifted a second time. “The collar is designed to never allow her to access the full capabilities of her powers,” he said in a rush. “Nor is it designed to leave her indefinitely without its suppression. I can only do so much.”

The sound of Jax’s teeth grinding came from beneath his mask. “ How long will the collar stay loose on her if you command it now?” Jax’s Mistvale magic coated his words, forcing an honest answer from the receiver of his question.

In a rush, my guardian said, “I honestly don’t know, but my guess is a few weeks. A couple of months, at most. I’ll have to wield my adaptor again at some point to ensure she stays free of its afflictions.” He gave Jax a pointed look, but I caught the meaning of his words too.

If I wanted to remain free, Jax would have to keep my guardian alive. I would never be free of him. Not even in this.

From Jax’s sharp inhale of breath, I knew in that moment he understood that I could never be rid of my guardian either. Not completely at least if I didn’t want to suffer for the rest of my life with a full-blown working collar.

My shoulders slumped, and it felt as if my soul withered.

Still staring at my guardian, Jax said on a low growl, “Gods, you’re a monster.” I could have sworn he was seething beneath his mask. “ Do the best that you can. Tell the adaptor to keep her free for the maximum length of its ability .”

My former guardian’s jaw worked, but Jax’s magic took hold, and he was helpless to resist. It suddenly struck me that not once had my guardian spoken directly to me, only to Jax, reminding me of the command Jax had given to him days ago in the Ustilly Mountains on our ride to Stonewild. You’re never to speak to her again.

My lips parted as the strength of Jax’s magic struck me anew. Days had passed since that command, and his power still held.

Guardian Alleron faced me, his expression hard, intense, and resentful. But Jax’s magic wouldn’t allow him to delay. He ran his thumb swiftly over the adaptor in a series of taps, then whispered a few words.

I held my breath. Waiting. Watching. I was ready to pounce upon my magic and wrestle it into submission if I felt about to explode.

A wash of magic shimmered in the adaptor’s gem. An answering pulse came from the stone at my throat. It warmed, more so than usual, then vibrated, and a lightweight feeling shimmered over my entire body.

The veil of my collar’s magic, which always felt as though it suppressed me and caged me in, began to lift. It felt as if a heavy cloak was being removed from my innards. That weight upon weight of solid bricks that had been heaved upon my shoulders began to levitate upward until my shadowy lorafin magic soared beneath it, rising, flying, and existing almost entirely unchecked.

In another breath, the cloak disappeared, nearly vanishing from existence, and it struck me that Guardian Alleron had never loosened my collar’s restrictions to this extent. Not even close.

My eyes widened when the freeing feeling flowed through me. I still felt the power of the collar, but it was farther away, as though it kept a watchful eye on me but wasn’t hovering. Like a mother would do with a child, watching and remaining there, ready to pounce if needed, but giving the child the false sense of freedom and independence.

Despite the collar not being removed completely, I felt light. Airy. As though boulders of suppression had just...disappeared.

I waved a hand through the air. Magic crackled along my skin and along my fingertips. Power barreled down my limbs, magnificent power. I was tempted to test it, to see what I was capable of, but...

An image of fae screaming before me shot through my mind, the vivid details resurfacing of that horrid day all of those summers ago.

I quickly brought my hands back to my side.

Breaths coming faster, I waited. Waited for my magic to rise up and take over, exploding out of me and dooming us all.

The crown prince studied me, his gaze intense and focused. Steady puffs came from beneath his mask, as though he was breathing faster. “How do you feel?”

I searched for the word to describe this new sensation. Power hummed within me, but nothing could summarize this inexplicable feeling of my hope twisted with fear, so all I replied was, “Different.”

“And your magic?”

“I don’t know yet. I’m hesitant to try, just in case...”

He nodded. “Only do what you feel comfortable doing.”

Slowly, I lifted my hand. I was careful, not doing anything jerky or unrestrained, but I didn’t feel unstable. Not yet at least.

But the weightlessness that soared through my inner magic was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. I shook my head in wonder. I’d never known such a feeling. And feeling that, understanding it...my breath sucked in as the knowledge of how caged I’d been my entire life took root. My guardian could have done this full seasons ago, at any time, but he never did.

That knowledge penetrated my heart, shredding through the last remains of hope I’d harbored that my guardian had cared for me on some level, no matter how small.

But he didn’t care for me. Not at all. He’d kept me completely caged. My only purpose had been to serve him, nothing more.

Knife-like pain stabbed me. For full seasons, he’d kept me confined, even during callings, if what I was currently feeling was any indication. It was no wonder I’d never been able to fully control the semelees. I’d always been suppressed.

But could I fully control the semelees now? That thought struck me like an arrow. With my magic this free, could I command them completely? My pulse thundered. If I could, then that would make me their queen.

My heart fluttered anew, and I ran my fingers along the cool metal at my throat. A faint vibration tingled along my fingertips, so faint that I barely felt it.

Swallowing the anxiety in my throat, I took a deep breath, then dipped into my body. I tentatively stoked my lorafin abilities. They swirled and rose, billowing along my limbs and coming to my aid immediately without the restricting collar pushing them down. I pulled on them more, something I hadn’t done since I was a child, but only a small sting came from my collar. That was it—no further punishments were elicited. Magic rushed through me, just waiting to be used. Immense energy crackled along my nerves, yet a part of me was aware that it still wasn’t the full extent of my abilities. Regardless, I felt powerful . Gasping, I quickly suppressed it.

“Stars Above.”

“Elowen,” Jax rasped. “Your eyes.”

I palmed my cheeks and cocked my head.

“They’re shining like emeralds.”

I rose from the chair, and a throb of magic made my movements swift and strong. I felt capable and steady. Power hummed along my limbs, and the darkness swirling inside me grew, making me feel as nimble as a colantha.

Across the chamber, near the door, hung a large mirror.

My eyes bulged when I saw my reflection. My usual green irises shone back at me, but they glittered in a way I’d never seen before, and I could practically see the magic crackling along my skin. A slight shimmer rose from my body, as though the magic inside me was so potent that it needed to continually release.

“Her aura is so—” My guardian shook his head, then cast Jax an accusing glare. “This wasn’t a good idea.”

“It was.” Jax’s attention remained on me. “The power of a lorafin is akin to the gods. Vibrant, mighty, and a sight to behold. This is to be expected.”

For the briefest moment, I locked my gaze with his in the mirror, confusion strumming through me.

“It’s what the scholar told me that I consulted,” the prince replied, his smile so dazzling that for a moment, I couldn’t breathe. “How are you feeling now?”

I lifted my arms and studied my limbs. Other than the strange feeling of my magic continually skidding over me, I felt like me, just...freer. “I feel good, like myself, I think.”

But while I did indeed feel less caged, it also felt like something was missing. As though a final piece to the puzzle of my magic hadn’t locked into place yet. That realization marred my hope. Perhaps I wouldn’t be able to fully command the semelees after all.

“And you don’t feel unstable?” Jax pushed.

I tested my magic again and dove my attention inward, just to see what would happen and to see if the first time had been a fluke.

My magic again rose readily, coming to me so easily, and the only effect of the collar was a very faint sting upon my neck. Nothing more. Heart pumping a bit harder, I waited for my darkness to rise. Waited for it to take over and render me unstable.

Seconds ticked by as I stood there in trepidation, ready to douse it if it began to erupt.

But my magic only hummed along my limbs, coursing through my veins like an old, familiar friend. I suppressed it anyway, still worried that at any moment, I would gush like a volcano, but my magic did as I commanded and relaxed when I told it to, halting the strange glow of my eyes and crackling power along my skin.

Relief flooded me. “I don’t think I’m unstable.” A fresh wash of betrayal fired through me, and I shot my guardian an accusing glare.

But Guardian Alleron didn’t even flinch.

Jax nodded, and his eyes crinkled in the corners. “So it’s as I suggested.”

His meaning hit me so hard that I turned rigid. Jax had been right. Right all along. I wasn’t unstable without the collar. What had happened to me when I was five was probably because of what Jax had implied. I’d been a child . Untrained. Immature. Scared.

Fresh hurt washed through me. To think that all of those summers, my guardian had used that knowledge against me, that he’d been lying all along...

Tears moistened my eyes. Tears of rage, tears of mourning, tears for the young girl who had spent full seasons hating herself for what she’d done, but most of all, they were tears of relief. Jax had insisted I could trust him, and he’d been right. Just like he’d been right the other times he begged me to believe in him. And the implications of that seared me to my soul.

Maybe I could trust Jax.

For a moment, I just breathed, not able to do anything else. Too many emotions had taken a hold of me, but when I finally felt sure that my voice wouldn’t crack, I replied, “Thank you. For convincing me to do this.”

A blast of raw emotion flared in Jax’s eyes. He dipped his head in a bow. “It was my pleasure.”

Guardian Alleron watched on, and as I stood there, I realized that my guardian’s warning that I would be a danger to others was truly just another lie. One more deception that he’d concocted following a string of them. When I’d been young and had accidentally done that horrible act, I’d been a child—a young, untrained child . But he wielded that against me like a weapon and made me believe I would always be dangerous.

And while I could be dangerous without a collar, if I chose to be—which was the entire reason why lorafins were allowed to be slaves—I would never choose that. Jax and Phillen’s assessment of my character was correct. I could never willingly hurt another for no reason.

I sliced my attention back to my guardian. The adaptor was still in his hand, hanging at his side, and the only acknowledgment he showed from my stinging glare was a bob of his throat.

“How could you?” I finally whispered to him as the aching pain of betrayal cut me open once more. I let him see all of the hurt that he’d caused me. “How could you?” I repeated. “For so many seasons... how could you ?”

Silence was his only response, but in his eyes, there was no apology, no remorse, only hard indifference and accusation.

My breath caught in my throat, and I gripped the nearest chair to steady myself. The pain of his betrayal threatened to sever me in two and bowl me over, and in that moment, it nearly cleaved my heart.

This male, this fairy who’d known me longer than any other, had never acted as a father should. Guardian Alleron’s professed caring had all been a show, a trick of the mind. He’d never loved me, much less cared for me.

And that realization finally burned through me completely. Any hope that I’d previously harbored that perhaps he cared for me on some level disintegrated. My magic crackled and rose, but I took deep breaths and reined it in even though my guardian’s betrayal solidified that no one in my entire life had ever loved me. Not one soul.

And it struck me as I stood there in a forgotten chamber in the mighty Stonewild palace, that even with access to most of my power and magic—that, according to Jax, rivaled a god—I was still entirely and completely alone.