Page 20 of Veil of Shadows (Fae of Woodlands & Wild #2)

CHAPTER 20

Jax’s eyes were so intense that they sucked all coherent thought from my mind. All I could manage was a nod, and the group turned back to their drinks. The discussion quickly returned to how to find Bastian.

I was glad for the subject change. Emotions were pounding through me, and my collar decided to emit tiny zaps every time I breathed, despite its relaxed state, so I was in no state to offer any intelligent comments.

Not long later, Bowan headed out to the Wood to take Alec’s place.

“Drink, Elowen?” Phillen asked after I continued to sit there silently.

“Please.” I willingly accepted another glass of leminai and allowed its warmth to numb my mind.

I was on my second glass when Alec returned.

Jax, sitting next to me on the couch, shot to standing. “Any sign of him?”

Alec’s lips thinned into a tight line. “No, I never saw Bastian, but there continue to be a lot of half-breeds here. Hundreds for sure, maybe even thousands.” Alec cocked his head, his light-brown eyes looking like caramel in the fairy lights as he dropped onto the couch with the rest of us. “A group of them went into the barn about an hour ago, although I didn’t recognize any of them. And that high up, I was able to see some of the competitors getting registered for tomorrow. Quite a few of them were half-breeds as well.” He frowned heavily.

“So more half-breeds but no sign of my brother.” Jax stabbed a hand through his hair.

Alec’s jaw tightened. “No, I never saw Bastian, but I heard other troubling news from Bowan. He said everyone almost got caught tonight.”

“We did. It was close,” Phillen agreed.

“Too close,” Lars replied quietly.

Jax tensed but nodded in agreement. “We’re going dark. No more raids for several months, not until Quinn’s able to find a way to explain what happened. So for now, we concentrate on finding Bastian and Bastian only. And back to my brother...You’re certain he wasn’t with any of the groups that you saw tonight?”

“I’m sure.” Alec scratched his chin. The movement sounded like sandpaper since stubble had formed along his jaw. “I have to say, I did see something very strange. I saw a new group of half-breeds go into the barn tonight, and they were all acting peculiar.”

My eyebrows slanted together, just as Jax’s did the same.

“How so?” I asked.

Alec cocked his head. “They moved in a single file line, and none of them spoke to one another. Nobody made any gestures. Even if they’ve gained employment to help with the Matches and were fatigued following a long day’s work, one would think that they’d at least speak to one another or move more casually, even if they were tired. But the way they were acting...” He made a disgruntled sound. “I don’t know exactly. It was just strange. That’s all I can say.”

All of the males eyed each other, and the frustration leaking from Jax’s aura grew.

The prince huffed. “We’ll continue keeping an eye on the barn for now. Tomorrow, we’ll go to the lake. There’s supposed to be several Finals on it.”

“And if we eventually find Bastian, and he says he wants to stay here, then what?” Lander asked, his look pensive.

Jax lifted his leminai to his lips. He took a sip of the green liquid, his throat rolling. But despite his bland expression, I could have sworn that hurt filled his eyes. “Then I’ll respect his wishes. If he chose to leave us, without a goodbye or an explanation, then he’s free to do so. I just want to make sure he’s all right.”

I nibbled on my lip. Once again, it was on the tip of my tongue to insist that I go to the Veiled Between. This was ridiculous. Five days had passed with nothing. The semelees could tell me exactly where Bastian was staying. And I still hadn’t tested my loosened collar, due to Jax’s insistence that I not even risk the chance of getting hurt.

Jax cut a sharp look my way, almost as if he knew what I was thinking. “No, Elowen.”

I angled more toward him. “But what if I don’t need your magic anymore? I could use another’s magic and do a calling for them. What if I can find Bastian without your magic hurting me? Why are you being so stubborn about this?”

Lander arched an eyebrow and gave Jax a curious look. “What did I miss?”

I sighed. “The prince is still refusing to let me do a calling for him or anyone else, even if I could find exactly where Bastian is by venturing to the Veiled Between. But we still don’t know if I can find him on my own without anyone’s magic. I haven’t ventured there since my collar’s been loosened.”

Alec cocked his head. “Ah, back to this.”

Jax’s nostrils flared. “With that collar in place, anything could happen to you.”

“But I’d survive,” I shot back. “I’ve never not survived a trip there.”

Phillen shifted his large body to face Jax more, then said in a hesitant voice. “You know, she’s right, Jax. It’s been nearly a week with no sign of him. Who’s to say Bastian is even still here? And if Elowen has a way to find him, don’t you think we should take her up on that offer?”

Trivan rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath, “Here we go...”

No sooner had those words left Trivan’s mouth, than the prince snarled softly at his friend. “No, Phillen. It’s out of the question. Elowen doesn’t know what traveling to the Veiled Between will do to her, even if she doesn’t use anyone’s magic. With that collar on, she could still be hurt. That possibility remains, because she doesn’t know since she’s never done it before. And I will not allow anyone’s magic to hurt her again, so she’s not doing callings for any of us.” The prince stalked off before anyone could reply, and his aura left a cloud of malice hanging in its wake.

I released a breath and fell back onto the couch. “Is he always this stubborn? What if I’m not hurt when I try? He has to know that sooner or later I’ll travel to the Veiled Between, with or without his permission.”

Alec and Trivan shared a veiled look, then Alec replied, “No, Elowen, he’s not usually like this. He’s never been like this with any other female.”

“It’s true. Jax is very . . . protective of you,” Lars remarked quietly.

Phillen nodded, then all of the males shared a look.

“What? What now?” I blurted. “Do you all think he has feelings for me?”

Everyone blinked mutely, and Alec frowned. “I’m beginning to think it’s more than that.”

“I think you might be right.” Phillen sighed and leaned forward in his seat, his burly arms draping over his knees. “Jax’s behavior around you, Elowen, isn’t like him. It’s making a few of us wonder about a few things.”

I furrowed my brow. Magic stirred inside me, rising like a slow-growing flame. “What do you mean exactly?”

Trivan snickered. “I think I’ve already figured it out, but I’m waiting to see how long it takes the rest of you.”

I didn’t bother replying to him. He’d likely enjoy watching me guess what he meant.

Lander stood. “Let’s all remember that Jax is stressed about Bastian. He’s not himself right now, so perhaps we should all stop speculating.”

I knew he was right. It was obvious Jax wasn’t happy that we were no closer to finding his brother, with a botched raid on top of it, but as for why he adamantly refused to let me visit the Veiled Between again on his behalf, especially if there was a chance I wouldn’t be injured... It was silly.

But it didn’t sit well with me that Jax was in such a foul mood. For some reason, an ache formed in my chest, and I burned to go to him, but I knew I couldn’t. Jax wasn’t mine despite the roles we were playing during the day, and even if he did have feelings for me, he was to eventually wed another.

Besides, I was still a lorafin. Still other . His realm and mine were never meant to collide.

Jax returned to join everyone for a quick meal. A mountain of food was lined on the kitchen counters that the inn staff had brought up. Platters of grilled meats, roasted potatoes, fluffy rice and pitas, vegetables of every variety, and a range of sauces made succulent fragrances waft through the air.

By the time we finished, all three moons were high in the sky, and everybody began to disappear to various chambers for the night.

I began to walk to mine, but Jax stopped me. “Elowen?”

He stepped into my path, and his nearness immediately made my stomach tighten. He stood only inches away, his aura like a warm caress around mine. All week my magic had been responding to his more and more. Tingles immediately shot to my core, my belly tightening in his presence.

I tilted my head back. “Yes?”

“I never properly thanked you, for what you did in the forest tonight. You saved all of us.”

“Oh...” I nodded quickly, my pulse leaping despite his innocent remarks. “It was nothing. I kept thinking about Cassim. I could never knowingly allow another child to grow up without their parent. Not if I could help it. I would do it all over again, not just for Cassim’s sake, but for all of yours. But you’re welcome.” I made a move to step around him, but he stepped into my path again. Stopping, I gazed up at him, my head cocking. “Was there something else?”

His throat rolled, his aura spiking. “There’s...one other thing I wanted to ask you. If you’re willing, I’d like you to sleep in my chambers tonight.”

My eyebrows shot up. “ Your chambers?”

He tentatively reached forward and ran his fingers down my forearm, lightly caressing my inner wrist. “Yes.”

A blast of shivers worked up my arm even though his touch was nothing new. He’d been doing things like that all week, even more so when we were in public, yet every time we made contact, my body practically convulsed with want .

“I heard several inn staff talking when they were leaving tonight after delivering the food,” he continued. “One of them commented that she didn’t think we’d been sharing a chambers at night.”

My lips parted as his fingers continued doing those embarrassingly pleasurable movements. “But I’ve been so careful. Every morning, I make the bed, then cleanse the room of my scent.”

His brow furrowed. “Apparently, it’s not enough. They’re starting to suspect that we’re not sleeping together because your scent isn’t in my room.”

“How would they know that?”

“They’re the ones who bring cleaning charms and new supplies for the bathing chambers. At least one of the staff come into this suite each day.”

Alec’s eyebrows rose just as he passed us in the hall, and Trivan muffled a cough from the living area.

I suddenly remembered that we weren’t alone, and our conversation wasn’t private. Flustered even more, I snatched my arm away from Jax’s strong fingers while Lander watched us from his seat on the couch. Trivan was sitting right beside him, not even trying to hide his smirk.

At least Phillen and Lars had already retreated to their chambers, making two less fae to witness my flushed cheeks.

My heartbeat thumped, especially when Jax’s focus never faltered. He continued watching me. Waiting.

Another second ticked past, and his gaze dipped to my chest, which was rising much too quickly for someone standing still.

“If you’re willing?” he added in a soft voice. “I would like you in my chambers tonight.”

I played with my fingers as the silence in the hall grew painfully quiet. “All right,” I finally replied. “I suppose we could.”

A flash of something shone in his eyes, but in a blink, it was gone. He stepped closer, and his mouth dipped to my ear. “Come.” He hooked his hand around mine.

My heart began beating so fast I felt lightheaded, and I could have sworn that I heard Trivan snickering behind us.

Inside Jax’s chambers, only moonlight lit the furniture and decorations. It was a simple design with a large bed, several end tables, a cold fireplace, and a few couches. A large closet ran the length of the entire room, and of course, it had its own bathing chamber.

I hadn’t seen the inside of his chambers yet. I’d been avoiding it all week.

I stood at the threshold, twisting my fingers. “Where should I sleep?”

His presence brushed up behind me, his chest like a wall of gravity that threatened to pull me in. “You can take the bed. I’ll take the couch. As long as both of our scents are in this room, the staff shouldn’t question our sleeping arrangements further.”

A pang of relief, or perhaps disappointment, hit me. Not wanting to analyze that , I hurried to the bathing chamber and promptly closed the door.

But as soon as I was alone in the room, I groaned. I hadn’t been thinking when I immediately retreated here. My bags were still in the other room. Not that it mattered, since I didn’t own any pajamas. All week I’d been sleeping in my underthings, but there was no way I was leaving these chambers dressed only in that.

Huffing, I called upon my magic to whisk away the day’s grime, then I cleansed my teeth and freshened my breath. Following that, I stood there, not sure what to do next.

My image stared back at me in the mirror. Wide green eyes. Pale skin. Long chestnut hair weaving itself around my shoulders. I’d taken out my braid hours ago, so my hair hung in waves down my back. The purple sweater I wore was slightly dirty from my crawl along the Wood’s floor in Possyrose Forest, and since my magic was strong enough now to clean my clothes as well, I cleansed that too. But beyond that, there was nothing left for me to do.

Fingers twisting and turning together, I continued gazing at the mirror. I looked as I always did, minus the flush creeping up my neck just beneath my collar.

A soft knock came on the door. “Elowen?” Jax’s voice was muffled through the door’s thick wood.

I jumped. “Almost done!”

I made a few noises on the counter, just to make him think I was actually doing something other than delaying the inevitable. But after a few more minutes passed, I knew I had to face him.

My hand shook when I clenched the door handle. I had no idea what was spiraling between us, but as his friends implied, something clearly was.

I opened the door with a flourish, and my breath immediately stopped.

Jax stood before me.

Shirtless.

My traitorous eyes dipped down his chest before I could stop myself. Hard pecs, chiseled abs, a myriad of scars, and a very distinct V dipped below his waistline. Stars and galaxy, why does he have to be so alluring?

A rumble of magic clouded around him, and when I finally glanced upward again, I came face-to-face with a satisfied-looking crown prince who’d just watched me check him out.

Flustered even more, I gestured behind me. “The bathing chamber is all yours.”

I slid past him, mortified that he’d just caught me ogling him. But to show up shirtless?

Before I got two steps past him, he clasped my elbow and swung me around. The hardness of his chest intimately met my breasts when he hauled me against him.

“What are you doing?” My words came out in a squeak.

“Why did you come for us tonight?” His question was muttered softly, but a razor hung in the air between us. One wrong move, and it would drop, slicing the tension that smothered us.

“I told you. I couldn’t fathom a child growing up without their parent. Not if I could stop it.”

His grip caressed my elbow, so subtly that if I wasn’t hyperaware of every move he made, I would’ve missed it. “Is that the only reason?”

I swallowed, and his gaze tracked the bob of my throat. “Do you want there to be another reason?”

His expression grew stormy, his eyes blazing like liquid gems. “Would you tell me if there was?”

Our words danced around one another, and I’d never been more aware of a male in all of my life. But I couldn’t allow this to continue. Attraction sizzled between us. I knew it. He knew it. It’d been growing since the very first day we met, and had become painfully acute in the week we’d been playacting.

But he was the crown prince of Stonewild. He was to eventually marry another of royal blood or of a pedigree that I could never claim. The reality was that I was a lorafin, which made me other . I could be an owned trinket or the scandalous lover of a royal prince, but any affair between us would always be kept in the shadows. I highly doubted his future bride would allow him to flaunt me in the open.

And I didn’t want that. I wanted more , so if the bottom line meant that we could never have any future together in any capacity, that I could accept...

Our fate was already sealed, and it was best to accept that now.

I swallowed again, and Jax’s aura rose like a swelling wave around him, growing higher and stronger, so large and powerful that I waited for it to crash all around me.

“Tell me what you’re thinking.” A muscle bulged in his jaw.

I licked my lips, and he watched the movement. “I’m thinking that someday you’ll be wed to another.”

He growled, and the energy around him soared. “I’m not wed yet, Elowen.”

“No, not yet.” But I’ll eventually have to watch you wed another, and if I’d already been with you...it would destroy me, which is why nothing can ever start between us. Don’t you get that, Jax? I have feelings for you too.

But I didn’t voice that confession, and I didn’t point out that his future bride would likely not stand for me lurking in her shadow. There was no point. Nothing could ever come of this.

His thumb moved in a languid circle on my arm. Goosebumps immediately sprouted. “What do you need? Just tell me, and I’ll provide it.”

I shook my head. “But that’s just it. I don’t need anything you can give me. What I want isn’t possible, but thank you. You caring means more to me than I can ever describe, but I’ll find a way to forge my own path with this new life I’ve been given.”

I looked down slightly, still reeling that we hadn’t come to any sort of resolution or agreement for what he would do with me. The fact remained that I knew their secrets. The Dark Raider’s worry that a Mistvale fairy could pry those secrets from me still loomed. In all likelihood, I would forever be tethered to the crown prince. But still, I wouldn’t demand things of him he couldn’t willingly give. And he could certainly never give himself to me.

“You don’t owe me anything, Jax.”

His breath stopped, and his entire body turned to stone. A moment passed and then another before he rasped, “I do. Because of you, we know that my brother was here recently. If you hadn’t gone to the Veiled Between for me, my search for him would still be entirely lost.”

“You’ll find him. I know you will.”

His expression wiped clean, and it wasn’t lost on me that I hadn’t said we’ll find him . I opened my mouth to correct myself, but Jax gave a brief nod, and then he turned.

He entered the bathing chambers and closed the door behind him, and it felt as if something inside of me died.

Heart feeling heavy, I shuffled away from the bathroom and removed my bulky sweater and breeches. Wearing only my underthings, I slipped under the sheets. I pulled the covers up until they met my chin. Since the lights were already out, I turned on my side to gaze out the window at the three moons.

A moment later, the door opened and closed behind me, but I didn’t turn. I didn’t make a sound. Rustling came from near the couch, and then the furniture creaked when the prince settled his heavy weight onto it.

Tension bled through the air until it congealed into a mass so thick I could’ve cut it with a knife. Yet neither of us said a thing.

Eventually, the pull of sleep became irresistible. Closing my eyes, I knew that no matter what tomorrow brought, I needed to stop these ridiculous reactions I was having for my former captor. He and I led two separate lives. As my guardian had pointed out to me time and time again, I was a lorafin. I was to be feared and revered, yet I would always be different.

And as Saramel had told me, and the queen had not so subtly hinted at by having all of the approved females on the royal ship when we’d ventured here, the prince was to marry a female of noble breeding next summer. A female that could never be me.

A pang fractured my stomach when that truth hit home. But as much as that hurt to the deepest part of my core, I knew it was true. Jax would never be mine.