Page 41 of Van Cort

BEFORE

LARA – AGE SEVENTEEN

Lara’s exhaustion had grown to epic proportions in the run-up to applying to stay with the boys.

The boys were Van Corts, and so were destined to go to Harvard, like everyone else in their family.

She, on the other hand, had no such destiny.

In fact, she had little to no desire or means to go to such a prestigious college.

But, just like anything else in his way, that wasn’t a problem for Rhett.

Extra study sessions and cutting out music lessons with Mrs Avery so that her academic studies would improve were just some of the changes he oversaw so she’d be ready to take her SATs. He pushed her too hard.

She knew why. They all did. It didn’t help the looming fear that it wouldn’t be enough, though.

Lara often dreamed that everything would stay as it was. That they would freeze in time so they could stay together without anything to come between them. But time stopped for no one and had grown demanding.

Rhett didn’t struggle with the extra workload.

He was always the smart one, his spot all but guaranteed even if it wasn’t quite a done deal.

However, Lara’s place would need to be earned through hard work.

She didn’t have any athletic qualities, nor did she play varsity sports to give her the opportunity of a scholarship, but she did want to follow them both.

Sometimes she wondered if there was anything she wouldn’t do for them.

So she worked, studied, volunteered at the only shelter in town, and did anything else Rhett deemed useful for her application. He even waved the issue of money off like it was of no consequence. Of course, to him, it wasn’t.

She didn’t tell him that it made her feel ashamed that she couldn’t afford her own way, but West saw it in her.

He always saw too much.

Music lessons had morphed into extra tutor lessons, and the time they had for each other shrunk under the pressure of carrying all of the hopes for Harvard.

At least West had to study alongside Lara. Although sometimes she wondered if it was a ruse for him and a way of supporting her. Rhett only knew how to do that in one way. He was harsh and demanding about everything in his life, and that didn’t waver for Lara. It never had.

And, with the final decision of her entry outside of his direct control, the cracks in his exterior broke with cruel intent, fuelled by more and more alcohol.

The music room might still have been their safe place, and they still waited for each other in the passageways, out of sight, but now, they studied.

Lara knew if she didn’t get into Harvard, all of this would be for nothing, and she’d have to leave West and Rhett.

The world as she knew it would end, and right now, Lara didn’t know how that would land with Rhett.

He was too busy taking care of everyone, protecting West, that he somehow thought that drowning himself in alcohol might stave off whatever demons he was chasing.

It didn’t work.

Lara wished he’d talk to her and open up. Foolishly, she thought that he would. They shared a connection that went deeper than any mere friendship. She’d witnessed the true extent of what his father was capable of, and that might have been the one and only time Rhett allowed her to help him.

His dominant streak had only grown from that night they first slept together, building, sharpening, and now it was laced with pain.

His own, maybe, but the excitement she first felt with him, that ruthlessness that was so intriguing in him, now danced with danger.

Warning bells sounded, and it was West – his comfort and his presence – that silenced them.

***

The exams came, but that didn’t lift the tension that had grown between them. It was now the beginning of spring. And there was nothing to do now but wait. And hope.

The warmer weather was just around the corner, and they were planning a weekend away on the island. To take their minds off the wait for news.

Lara gathered her supplies, making sure her hunting knife was packed alongside the clothes and toiletries. A change of scenery was what West had said, and they’d all agreed. Even Rhett.

It had been a while since they visited the island. And too long since they could just relax and enjoy being themselves together.

Her stomach knotted when she thought about possibly losing them.

Or being left behind. She was selfish enough to want them both, and to keep them both.

She closed the door to the cottage and walked through the well-worn path towards the lawn of the mansion, and then down to the boathouse where Rhett and West were meeting her.

Anxious excitement built in her stomach at spending such uninterrupted time with them that wasn’t focused on study.

She made it to the jetty, and the breeze from the water crept through her jacket and chilled her skin.

“Any news?” Rhett called from behind her.

“No.” She shook her head. It was his familiar greeting now. Everyday.

She didn’t know who was more anxious. He didn’t keep his distance and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “You’ll be fine. I’m not losing you.”

The declaration was everything she needed to hear, but it also swamped her in the pressure of getting the acceptance.

It curdled her stomach every time she thought of it.

She couldn’t change anything now, though.

It was done. In fate’s hand. Or, rather, some academic board’s hands.

So she grabbed hold of the sweet, rare moment Rhett shared and tucked it away in her heart, safe and protected.

Her eyes studied his, and the intensity lifted her pulse. It always did. With either of them.

Rhett’s attention was pulled from her, and they both turned to see West storming towards them. His head lowered, his strides determined. He looked more like his brother than himself.

“What’s wrong?” Lara asked.

“Nothing. Let’s go.” He stormed past her and Rhett and towards the boathouse.

“West?” she called, but Rhett shook his head and pulled her back a fraction, as if he was worried she would go after him.

“Do you know?” she asked.

“No,” Rhett answered, whilst keeping his eyes on his brother.

They followed in West’s wake, and Rhett helped her into the boat. West had already tossed his pack in and was waiting. His expression caused a chasm to open up in her stomach. He never looked like this, and worse, he always talked to her.

Rhett positioned himself next to the motor and pulled the cord to start the small motor, steering them out and towards the island.

This was meant to be time for them to enjoy themselves and to get away from the stress of waiting, but West just looked out across the lake and didn’t utter a single word. Lara’s chest was bursting to ask him what the matter was, because there was no way in hell there wasn’t a problem.

They arrived and moored the boat before taking the supplies up to the ramshackle old cabin.

Over the years, they’d made improvements to it.

They’d left blankets, moved furniture in, and made it more liveable since they would spend the night.

The old iron wood-burning stove kept the space nice and cosy.

But no matter how familiar the cabin was, West looked like the world had just ended, and everyone was on edge because of it.

Lara dropped her bag onto the small chair stacked with pillows in the corner closest to the burner and watched Rhett move to the small kitchen area.

He pulled out a bottle of liquor, unscrewing the cap and taking a swig.

She didn’t know why she was still disappointed when he did that.

It had only gotten worse over the last year.

But he was Rhett, and he did what he wanted. Damn the consequences.

He took another swig of the drink and came back into the room with them, the bottle still clutched in his hand, and knelt at the wood burner, tossing in some wood to load the bed, and then he struck a match to set it alight.

“Come on, West.” Rhett didn’t turn from watching the flames begin to flicker and climb over the wood, consuming it. And his voice was icy, like he was already pissed that he was in the dark about whatever had got West so concerned. “What’s he done?”

“Who says it’s him?” West mumbled.

“Because I know him. He’s the only one who can cause that much misery to either of us. I want to know.”

“You fucking don’t.”

“Don’t fight,” Lara cut in. “And we don’t keep secrets, West. Not between us.”

West lifted his head and stared at her, looking over to Rhett soon after. “I don’t want this. And if I can, I’ll fight it, but I don’t know how.”

“Fight what?” Rhett’s voice growled.

“He’s sending me to Stanford. That’s what he’s decided.”

Lara swung her head between them. “But… Van Corts go to Harvard. That’s all you’ve been telling me. That’s what all of this has been about.”

West didn’t answer. Neither did Rhett.

“West?” Fear laced through Lara’s voice as she put the pieces together.

Mr Van Cort was separating them. Intentionally.

He was going to separate them all.

Rhett stood up and hurled the bottle in his hand against the back wall. The pieces of glass cascaded down onto the floor, followed by the flow of liquid.

Suddenly, the cabin was too small, too confined for the three of them.

West and Rhett seemed to start an internal monologue between them, silently keeping Lara from their private conversation. Until West turned, wrenched the door open and marched back out into the chilled air.

“Wait here,” Rhett ordered.

Lara didn’t want to sit around and wait. This wasn’t something between the brothers. This was bad for them all.

“No.” She got up and followed him outside, where they both found West already heading for the small patch of woods behind the cabin.

“West, don’t. Wait. You can’t just leave us,” she called.

“Oh? It seems that’s exactly what I’m doing,” he snarled back, his tone full of sarcasm.

“Don’t. We stay together.”

Lara kept hold of that like the very lifeline it was. All these years, all this time, and everything between them. It only worked if they were together. Yet with one sentence – one command – from their father, the first crack in their connection had been made.

That small fissure allowed all the doubt and worry and fear to seep in, and Lara was drowning within seconds.

Her legs gave out, and she dropped to her knees as Rhett charged after West.

She’d have to choose.

She couldn’t stay with both of them. Because having them both wasn’t normal. It was the truth she could forget about when they were together, certainly here. But now…

Tears tracked down her face as emotion stabbed through her heart and up her throat.

She’d worked so hard to make their dream a reality.

And now it was being stolen from her. Her fingers dug into the ground, breaking through the mulchy layer before she could feel the hard earth and stones beneath.

And as her tears gained strength, she lost the will to fight and let them fall, obscuring her vision as the boys – her boys – disappeared from sight.

***

Lara let the cold seep through to her bones, and her tears dry on her cheeks, before she moved to go back inside.

She had to re-light the fire, and she tended it with gentle encouragement until the heat began to warm the space around her.

The boys would be back. If she had to guess, they’d shout and curse at each other, before one, or both, would throw a punch.

They’d cool off eventually, though, and come back to her with a few scrapes, ready to talk.

And sure enough, as she was adding another log to the fire after making hot cocoa, they both traipsed back into the cabin.

West came straight to her and wrapped her in his arms. “I’m sorry, Lara.” He smelt of cool air and pine, and the comfort he gave had tears threatening again.

“It’s all right. You’re angry. We’re all angry.”

She watched Rhett over West’s shoulder, who looked for the broken shards of glass as if he might be able to drink the remnants off the wooden floor. Lara had already cleared it all up, though. She guessed it was the only bottle he had with him and was regretting that decision.

West led her to the chair and pulled her down into his lap.

“Okay. What do we do?” he asked.

“We don’t even know if I’ll be accepted at Harvard yet,” she replied. The fear had been there since she applied weeks ago, but instead of being ignored, she could say it now.

“You will be. I told you. I won’t lose you, Lara. Not ever.” Rhett’s statement was as hard as a stone, like he wasn’t even prepared to accept another option. His strength was astonishing. Also terrifying.

“But what about West? This wasn’t what we agreed. We were meant to stay together. The three of us.” Lara looked between the brothers.

“He’s done it as punishment. He had a fucking smile on his face when he told me. Like he knew it would crush me.”

West’s admission hurt Lara on so many levels. How any father could willingly hurt their own flesh and blood was beyond her comprehension, but she’d seen the bruises on Rhett and had long ago realised that Mr Van Cort wasn’t the model fatherly figure that many thought he was.

West’s hand rested on her thigh, and Rhett came to sit on the chair next to them, his eyes fixed on the casual placement of West’s hand.

She could play the next stages of the argument out in her mind.

If West and Rhett were being split up, then what about her?

Rhett would be adamant, even with the new information, that she’d be with him.

But he’d thought like that without asking for confirmation from her, as if it was part of the plan and wouldn’t need to change.

As if she’d naturally choose Rhett over West.

It was a small crack, but it was growing, and wedging open a little further, as she considered, for the first time, who she’d choose if she had to.

Lara turned to look at West, the swelling on his lip beginning to show, confirming she was right in her assumption of what happened between them.

She loved him. With everything in her twisted heart. She loved West.

He was the one who gave her hope. Joy.

What would happen to her and Rhett without him?

Who would keep him in balance?