Page 23

Lorcan

C ormac’s eyes drilled into me. At some point, he would have to understand that I wanted nothing to do with Aiden. And, as intriguing as the story was, I wanted nothing to do with finding the Cure. I clenched my jaw, resisting the urge to remind him I had left our family over a hundred years ago.

I focused on my thundering heart and closed my eyes, willing myself to think of the oceans at home.

Instead, Briar’s coy smile behind her fluted glass when I first met her floated in my mind.

I tried to push it away, but as the memory replayed, my heart slowed.

I opened my eyes and glanced at her. Her worried eyes scoured my face, and I could hear her heart racing.

I gave her a subtle smile, trying to figure out how to move forward. Across the table, Briar’s shoulders slumped as she traced a finger around the rim of her coffee cup and sighed.

“I’m sorry. We shouldn’t be having these arguments around you.” I willed a softness in my voice to indicate to Cormac our conversation about Aiden was indeed through.

She shook her head. “It isn’t just that.”

“Then what is it?”

“Your family. You have everything I’ve wanted: siblings and an understanding of where you came from.

” She waved her hand around the room. “There is such a rich history here. And then there is me, alone. I can’t find anything about my family’s past, even though the convict records are supposed to be so detailed.

Sometimes, I feel like I’m floating adrift alone.

” Her voice wavered as she refused to look up again.

If I paid attention to the whisper in my mind, I wanted her to look at me so I could see the light and beauty of her eyes and smile.

But who was I kidding? I couldn’t have her.

After Ashdowne, I couldn’t trust my feelings.

I studied my tea with its slight crimson hue.

Cormac had once again provided me with human blood, and I suspected there was some in the black pudding I had as well.

Although his insistence on my returning to the fold was cumbersome, I would have to thank him later for helping to hide the monster within me.

Briar’s sigh pulled me back to her. Her one goal was to learn her convict ancestry, which my actions had hidden from the world. My thoughts churned with guilt. But she was here now and deserved my attention.

I leaned across the table and touched her hand gently, ignoring the heat that crept up my arm as I did.

She raised her deep brown eyes to me, and I drank in their color, smiling.

“Would you like me to join you and Rory at the archives today? I could help guide you to what I know the O’Cillians were doing at the time, since we know the two were acquainted. ”

The word seemed wrong. I was more than acquainted with Lady Isobel.

She had been a friend and confidant. But if I were with Briar, I wouldn’t have to deal with Cormac trying to persuade me to join him in his quest to find the Cure.

It didn’t matter that I was the one who had studied the magic of vampirism; nothing could pull me back into this mess.

I wasn’t here for them. I was here for her.

Briar nodded. Her gaze lingered on our joined hands a moment longer than it should before her mouth turned up at the corner, the warmth of her smile reaching her eyes. “I’d love for you to join us at the archives. It won’t mess up our reservation, will it?”

I pulled my hand back. “No, we’ll make it work. But we should go soon. The traffic over to Kew can be a mess.”

She tilted her head, her eyes flickering with interest. “Kew? Like Kew Gardens?”

I toyed with the spoon in front of me on the table, masking the unease stirring beneath the surface. “One and the same.”

Her gaze shifted to the window behind me, her fingers tapping on the table. “I’d love to see those. I’ve heard they’re amazing.”

The corners of my mouth twitched up. The last time I was at Kew Gardens, it wasn't even open to the public.

“I believe they are.” It would be interesting to see what had changed over the past century.

But spending a day at the gardens would take Briar away from why she was here, even if I wanted nothing more than to spend the time with her.

“Perhaps you and Rory can go tomorrow. She should be back in a minute to go to the archives.”

Briar tilted the bottom of her cup to the ceiling before smiling. “I’m ready.”

I squinted against the brightness of the sky. I might have been immune to harm from the sun, but it still hurt when I stepped out of the building.

“I can’t believe there was nothing at all.” Briar’s words echoed defeat. “These are court records. It was a murder case, for crying out loud, and there was nothing!” She ran her fingers through her hair. “We couldn’t have been in there more than an hour.”

Guilt thrummed through my chest. She couldn’t find anything because of me. Rory faced Briar and grasped her hands. “We’ll find it, sugar.” She pulled Briar into a hug. Over her shoulder, Rory’s eyes caught mine.

I swallowed hard. I knew exactly where to find the information Briar wanted, but how much would it expose about our family? The more information she had, the closer she came to learning our secret. It wasn’t just me, but the O’Cillians—everything we’ve kept hidden.

After a moment, Briar pulled back. “Where else can we look?” Her eyes filled with tears. “I can’t believe I’m going to fail my mother.” She walked to a bench and sat down, her head in her hands and shoulders shaking.

Rory’s eyes grew wide as she looked at me, and she tilted her head toward Briar with her lips drawn. Did she want me to console Briar? I crossed my arms over my chest.

Rory shook her head and sat on the bench, placing her hand on Briar’s knee. “We just need to regroup, but I think you need some good old-fashioned nature now. Reconnect with what you love.”

Briar lifted her head and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “What do you mean?”

“We should go to the gardens, calm down, and figure out a path forward. You know a few hours there will recenter you and help you feel better.”

“I don’t—”

“But you will because you will love it. Let’s go.

” Rory started walking toward Kew Palace, and Briar meekly followed.

We walked along in silence. Each step appeared to pull Briar out of her melancholic shell as her shoulders dropped and her face lightened.

Rory’s suggestion had been the balm Briar needed.

When we got to the gates, Rory stopped. “I don’t think I’m up for much more walking. Lorcan, why don’t you show Briar around?”

“But—” My hands grew cold. Ashdowne’s final fall began here. I couldn’t follow in his footsteps.

“You know them as well as anyone, and you’ll have a much better time without me.”

Briar’s voice was concerned. “Are you feeling okay?”

Rory nodded. “Yes, just tired. I’ll have the car take me home and send it back for you.”

Briar looked into the park, her eyes shimmering with longing, before she turned back to Rory. “Are you sure?”

“You two have a good time. Now go.”

Briar looked at me and shrugged. “Just the two of us?”

I held my hand out in front of me toward the path. “Lead the way.”

We wandered among the trees, the crisp air circling us.

Briar’s face glowed, the fresh air and foliage invigorating her.

I held the door for her as we entered a greenhouse.

The warm air carried the sweet perfume of orchids and the faint earthy tang of damp soil.

Sunlight poured through the glass panels, casting shimmering patterns of the leafy canopy above onto the walkway.

With each new section we entered, Briar became more animated, her smile infectious.

I tried to focus on the present and the woman who now strolled next to me, her hand wrapped through my elbow, much like other women I had walked through the gardens with.

My smile had faded as I kept my history to myself when we toured Queen Charlotte’s Cottage.

It was unchanged from the last time I was here.

Lord Ashdowne, Lord and Lady Harrowmont, and I had attended a tea Princess Augusta gave in the shade of the cottage.

If only I could take that day back. The four of us had huddled around a table with flowers, vases, and knives scattered around us, each working on creating the perfect floral arrangement.

A slip of Harrowmont’s knife was all it took for Ashdowne to smell Lady Isobel’s blood, triggering a bloodlust I couldn’t stop, a feral desire to dominate the woman and have her as his own.

Back then, I could only assume it was a mating bond, yet something wasn’t right.

My steps faltered as the memory flowed through me.

I had been planning to arrange for Ashdowne to be sent far from us, South Africa or India, on a diplomatic mission.

The wars would have provided his desires with the necessary cover and removed him from Lady Isobel’s sphere.

But I hadn’t had it arranged before Ashdowne drained Harrowmont of his blood in an effort to take her.

Briar’s hand burned on my arm. I wanted to step away, but part of me relished being beside her.

But Ashdowne hadn’t been able to control himself after just a whiff of Lady Isobel’s blood.

He had been obsessed, worse than my brother with his mate.

It had been an unnatural, evil bond that Lady Isobel didn’t want.

“What are you thinking about?” Briar’s soft voice invaded my thoughts, her curious gaze catching mine.