Page 39

CHAPTER 38

Noah

B y the time we reached the group that Molly and Jake were talking about, my nerves were running high. I felt eyes on me the entire time we were walking. But every time I looked around, I never found anything. There were also more people here than I’d seen in months and than I thought.

Tents lined up, a small fire pit in the middle with some gathered around it. I should feel some sort of relief, but all I felt was unease. My hand tightens around the amulet, scanning faces, watching for any movements. Everyone seemed normal enough, but something didn’t sit well with me.

“Come on, let’s introduce you to everyone.” Jake says from beside me. I glance over my shoulder; the same feeling of someone's eyes on me settles deep in my bones.

I follow behind Molly and Jake; the distant laughter of a child playing nearby pulls my attention to them. A little boy jumps over a rock, falling to his knees before rolling into a somersault. A comforting feeling dawns on me at the sound of conversation.

But then my mind drifts to Reed. To his laughter when I spit out random facts. The way he watched me all the time. He thought I never noticed, but I did. And I liked it.

“Hey, you alright?” Jake nudges me, pulling me back to reality.

“Y–yeah. I’m okay; I was—” I stop talking, refusing to even mention Reed. For some reason I don’t want anyone to know about him. I don’t want to share Reed.

The air feels heavy as I push one foot in front of the other, stepping forward. Molly walks around the group, sitting down next to another woman. They both wrap their arms around each other, the girl clearly glad Molly was back. Hollow nervousness settles in my chest, the odd feeling like I don’t belong. I’ve always been the one who can talk to anyone. But words seem to fail me around all these people.

“Guys, this is Noah,” Jake announces. Everyone’s eyes swing to me, some looking surprised. “That’s Will, Martin, Tyler, Anglea, and Sara.” Jake points around the circle.

“Hey Noah,” Sara—the one who was hugging Molly—smiles.

“Ah, hi.” I raise my hand, giving them a tiny wave.

Shifting on my feet, I swallow around the lump in my throat. The weight of their stares lay heavy on my shoulders. Normally I would have filled the silence by now, making some type of joke, doing anything else but standing here like a fool. But now the words are stuck, tangled in knots in my stomach. My mouth dries, my hands suddenly unable to stay still. I glance around at the others, the men going back to talking. I try to think of something—anything—to say, but every thought slips away.

I peer over Sara and Anglea when Molly waves her hand over. I force a small smile, a part of me wishing I could just turn around and run. But I don’t. Instead I move around the group, stopping near Molly.

“This is Sara, my aunt.”

“Oh, uh, hi,” I mumble.

The woman—Sara—smiles, patting the bench next to her. “Molly was telling me you saved her in the hardware store.”

I open my mouth only to close it quickly. A beat of silence stretches between us, tension sitting between us. I never thought I would kill zombies, let alone save someone from them. It’s odd and unsettling.

“I just—I want to thank you.”

“You don’t need to, it… it was nothing.” I didn’t even believe that. I was never one to stop and save the other person. I only and always have thought about myself, but the idea of leaving Molly behind while I ran didn’t sit well with me.

“I doubt that, but I still want to thank you.” Sara gives me a sad smile. I nod, refusing to let the feeling threaten to crawl its way out.

“So, where are you from? You have a little accent, but I can’t exactly tell where from.” Anglea asks, leaning forward.

“Oh, well, originally from south Florida, but for the past two years I was in Louisiana.”

“Wow, Louisiana. That’s a far walk from there to be doing alone.”

The fire crackles in front of me, my chest tightening at the mention of being alone. I wasn’t always alone. I had someone.

“Yeah, it—it was hard.” I clear my throat forcefully. I don’t want to talk about Reed. Talking and thinking about him is hard, and right now I just want to relax and try to remember when a time wasn’t so fucking hard.

“Well, I think we’re going to stay here one more night and then head off in the morning. I know it can be hard trusting new people, but you’re more than welcome to tag along. I’m sure Jake wouldn’t mind someone around his age to talk to again.” Anglea chuckles under her breath.

“Where are y’all heading?”

“Tallahassee,” Sara answers.

“Oh, then yeah. I mean, if everyone is cool with it, I’m heading to Florida.”

Sara and Anglea nod along, clearly picking up that I’m not in much of a talking mood. “Molly, why don’t you show Noah where he can rest for the time being?”

Thankfully no one else says anything as Molly shows me to an extra tent. She helps me set it up before disappearing. I find myself being happy to be alone again. Climbing through the tent, I set my bag down before unrolling the extra sleeping bag. I didn’t think I was tired until my head hit my bag. Closing my eyes, I let myself drift off to sleep, memories of Reed clouding every dream.

* * *

Three days later, I walked along with Molly and Jake. Most of the time they joked and acted like siblings that had me missing Rue and Mallory more and more. The chances of my parents having more children was never going to happen, so when I went to college and found those two, it was like part of me that had been missing was now fixed. And while I loved talking about Rue and Mallory with Molly, it also hurt. I had no idea if they were in Florida, let alone at the island. I liked the idea that they were, but deep down I had a feeling they hadn’t made it. Especially Mallory, the girl who was a female version of myself. She probably hadn’t made it a week without ending up dead. And then Rue, who couldn’t trust a single soul.

Part of me felt like I should just continue with Jake and Molly. I didn’t mind third wheeling, and maybe eventually I’d find someone that would make me forget Reed. But I also knew that wouldn’t happen. Reed was implanted in my head so far and so deep, nothing and no one was going to make me forget him.

“Tell us about college,” Molly nudges my arm with her shoulder. I crack a smile, thinking about the simple days.

“What’s there to tell? It was professors, dorms, overpriced books, and terrible food.”

“I bet you were popular, weren’t you?” Jake asks across the burning fire. I glance over at him, smirking.

“I wouldn’t say I was popular, but my best friend Mallory was.”

“Mallory is such a pretty name,” Molly sighs.

“You only think that because it’s close to your name, dork.”

Molly rolls her eyes, picking up an acorn and tossing it at Jake's head. “Yeah, well, at least he went to college, duck face.”

Jake blocks the acorn from hitting him, sticking his tongue out. I’ve learned that their Aunt Sara had been taking care of them for the past ten years. Molly was five when her parents died in a car accident. Jake, who had no intentions of going to college, ended up working at a car dealership.

“Okay, tell me about the parties. I bet they were great. Were they anything like the movies?” Molly also talked a lot, especially when it was too silent.

“No, nothing like the movies. I mean, I’m sure some parties were, but the ones I went to were pretty tame. But it was the usual underage drinking, drama, and of course, music.”

“That’s lame.” Molly pouts, tossing a clump of grass into the fire.

“Yeah, well, lectures and finals week were much more lame.” I nudge her with my shoulder. “I had this one professor who had a creepy crush on my friend Mallory, and well, let's say I’m pretty sure I saw a zombie eat him.”

Molly frowns slightly before cracking a smile. “I want to meet this Mallory girl.”

“She’d want to meet you too. She’s funny and loud. Was a cheerleader back in the day.”

Molly's eyes widen, her finger twitches as if she couldn’t control her excitement.

“A cheerleader?”

“Hell yeah, she was even the captain of the cheerleader squad. Me and Rue, our other friend, went with her to plenty of competitions. She was the main flyer. Even to this day I have no idea how the other girls or hell even Mallory got up there.”

Molly's smile widens the more I talk about cheerleading and Mallory. I even find myself showing her a few routines that Rue and I had to help with. After Molly finally gets it down, she runs off to find her aunt.

“I know we’ve said it a few times already, and I get that you don’t want it, but uh… thanks.” Jake pulls my attention to him.

Frowning, I sat down next to him. “I–I’m not sure what I?—”

“You saved her in the hardware store. And I haven’t seen her this excited about, well, really anything since the world went to shit. She was—is—a girly girl, and sometimes I forget that and the fact she’s still so young.”

I lick my bottom lip, staring off across the fire into the woods.

“I think we all forget what life was like before. I’m just happy she’s coming out of her shell.” Jake pats my back. “So, this is the last time, but thank you.” He doesn’t wait for me to say anything before climbing to his feet and walking off.

The voices around me blur into background noise, laughter and quiet conversations becoming distant and muffled. The weight in my chest grows heavy the longer I sit there. Everything feels so heavy that I find myself pushing off the ground and heading straight to the tree line. I feel eyes on me as I step away, needing air, even though I’m already outside. I don’t want anyone to question why I’m too quiet. I’ve slowly opened up and become my loud self again, but sometimes I need to back away. The noise of others becomes too much that I can’t breathe.

The night air is cool against my skin as I move further into the dark trees. It’s strange, the feeling of needing to be alone. I was never like this; I’ve always needed people and thrived in their company. I liked being the center of attention. But now being around them just makes everything louder in my head. Questions about my past are a reminder of everything I’ve lost. Mallory and Rue should be here with me. The three of us should already be in Florida, safe and together. Everything feels like a mess, like I can’t breathe.

So I stay here, alone in the quiet, letting the dark wrap around me. I won’t stay here long. Just until the ache in my chest feels a little lighter.