Page 19 of Until You’re Breathless (Insatiable #1)

“Bowie, the guy is a mess.” I level with her. “He can’t keep his dick in his pants, he’s an attention whore, and I don’t need to be more worried about fucking babysitting him than conducting business with him.” I lick my lips. “He’s a risk.”

“Am I not a risk, too?”

“Way less of one. All I need to worry about is Boston, and I can handle him with one hand tied behind my back.”

“Well, what about the European markets? Aren’t you afraid because now you’re working with a woman? I know that most of those men in the automotive industry, especially in Europe, frown upon women.”

“Then they can fucking deal with it. Once they see what you’ve got to offer, they’ll forget about the fact that you don’t have a fucking penis. Next.”

The ghost of a smile appears on her lips. “Do you really mean that?”

I search her eyes. “Of course, I mean that. Bowie, I have some of the most intelligent staff on my production team, including a few that I grew up with, took the same classes with, and none of them can hold a candle to you.”

Our gazes are glued together. It’s like there’s some cosmic, telepathic message that’s passing through us.

Something unspoken. Something innate. Like the bond that we had a million years ago never really dissolved.

As much as I tried to convince myself that it did, now that she’s here, with me, in the flesh, and we’ve had this past month together, I know in my heart of hearts, that it never truly did.

She’s always been there. In my heart. In my thoughts.

In my dreams. I never forgot her. I just don’t know how to tell her that without risking everything.

“Jagger, I...” She trails off, stopping herself. Looking away.

“Don’t say it.”

“I’m all over the place, Jagger.” She gasps, rising from the couch, raking a hand through her hair.

I can’t stand to see her unglued. “What’s troubling you.”

She stands still and looks at me, pushing her hands in front of her, almost defensively. “Can I tell you something as both a friend and as a business partner?”

“Absolutely.”

“I’ve told this to Jinny and she...well...she had very bad advice.”

“That’s Jinny for you.” I joke.

She licks her lips, and I can’t stop looking at them.

I have to pull a couch cushion onto my lap so she can’t tell.

“I don’t feel a goddamn thing for Boston anymore.

I don’t feel regret, I don’t miss him, I’m not angry with him, and I don’t care about him at all, and as long as he stays away from Lawson Enterprises, I don’t care if he lives or dies.

Is that psychopathic? Shouldn’t I at least miss him? ”

“Well, how did you feel back in high school, you know, when you thought that I cheated on you?”

She points a finger. “See, that’s what I was afraid of. I...shit...I knew that you would say that, yet I hoped that you wouldn’t.”

“Why do you say that?”

Her gaze is flat. Her voice cracks. Her eyes are glassy as she admits something that I suspect she’s been terrified to admit for the past month. “Because I was in your bed one day and in Boston’s bed the next.”

“Gotcha.” I nod, after a beat.

She wipes a tear from her face and sniffs. This realization is painful for her, but I think that it’s necessary.

“And you don’t want to make the same mistake with me.” I add, even though it’s implied.

She sobs. “Yeah.”

“Fuck it.” I say after a breath. I rise and stand in front of her.

I’ve been a man to follow his gut instinct all his life and tonight is no exception.

My hands go to her shoulders. She can’t look at me.

Her gaze is on the floor, but I’m not going to force her to look at me.

No. This time...this time, she’s got to look at me on her own.

“There’s a difference, Bowie.” I rub her arms with my hands as I search for the right words.

My eyes go to the ceiling for a moment while I think.

“Boston...the man never really loved you. I think that deep down you knew that. I think that you knew that all kinds, but you thought that because I was out of the picture, he was your only option.”

Her eyes are still on the floor, but I know that she’s listening intently.

She wipes another tear from her face, and I continue.

“And if you want the truth, I think that you loved him out of obligation, not because you truly loved him. That’s why it’s easier to walk away.

That’s why it’s easier for him to let you, too. ”

Another sob, another wipe of her eyes.

I try like hell to word this properly. My eyes shut tight as they come out slowly, softly.

“And if you want the truth, you’re a perceptive lady, Bowie.

You always were.” I pause and lick my lips, drawing in a deep breath and releasing it before continuing.

When I do, the moment that I’m finished saying what I’ve got to say, I let go of her shoulders.

“What your heart is telling you is the honest to God truth. I never stopped loving you. And I never will.” I walk away from her.

Leaving her to do what she wants to do with that.

I don’t know if she watches me, I don’t know if she stops herself from stopping me, I’m not sure of anything right now.

...Except that I might have just made the biggest mistake of my life.