Page 32 of Until the End (The Lost Letters #3)
Ginny
C arson’s heavy hand on the back of my neck is the only thing holding me steady.
My LA house looms above me like a dark shadow, seeking to swallow me whole.
I have to go inside. There’s no getting around it, but part of me just wants to tear it down to the studs and leave the rubble behind.
I have a house in Sonoma that I love. I can afford a new wardrobe.
There’s no reason to hold on to this monstrosity.
I don’t even like it all that much. Cecelia and Wesley pushed me to buy it.
“This is some house, Goose.”
I snort. “It’s ugly as hell.”
Carson barks out a laugh. “Yeah, it’s pretty awful.”
All the sleek, modern lines scream harsh and cold. The inside isn’t much better, but I did my best to find furniture that would soften the severity. Wesley thought my choices were ugly, but he also didn’t care enough to send them back and buy what he wanted.
“Do I have to go in there?” I ask Carson.
“Nope. We can hire movers to pack your stuff and ship it home. Then you can sell the house.”
“I can’t do that. I have to go through all my stuff.”
“Is any of it the Weasel’s?”
“No, I bought everything. Wesley had his own place, but we spent most of our time here.”
Carson sneers but quickly schools his features. “Then we can sort through it later.”
I mull over the suggestion. There are so many awful memories in this house. Between the way Wesley took over my life and the stalker, I don’t want a single thing in there except my photos. “Okay. I’ll ask Chelsea to help me hire someone to pack my stuff.”
“What are the chances you’ve got private access to the beach over there?” Carson points at the fence.
“It’s not private, but there is a small trail that leads to a lookout.”
“That’ll work.”
Daren comes up behind us, holding out a brown paper bag to Carson. I give him a questioning look.
“I thought we could have a picnic tonight for dinner. Daren helped me get the stuff together while you were working with Henry.”
I melt into Carson’s side. “Thank you. I love this idea.” I’m mentally and physically exhausted after working today.
It’s the best kind of tired, though. It’s been a while since I felt this good about an upcoming album.
Henry and I were both digging the vibes of the songs.
It’s turned into a breakup album, there’s no doubt, but it’s also full of women’s empowerment and self-love. I’m excited to piece it all together.
“Will you lead the way?”
With a smile, I take Carson’s hand and head for the trail. Daren and another one of his guys follow behind us. Everyone asks how I can deal with having security around twenty-four seven. My answer is always, “Because it gives me peace of mind.” Without them, who knows what would happen to me?
My fans are amazing, but they can get overzealous to the point of putting me in danger. All it takes is one person making the wrong choice, and I could end up injured…or worse.
That doesn’t even include the ones who aren’t fans and only want to cause me harm. It’s scary out there, and having Daren and his team responsible for my safety alleviates that anxiety.
It takes us about ten minutes to get to the lookout.
No one else is around tonight, which surprises me a bit.
I was prepared to deal with people recognizing me like they usually do.
Instead, Carson is able to spread out a blanket on the ground, and we work together to lay out the feast he put together.
“This looks amazing,” I gush.
“Glad you think so. I have ulterior motives, though.”
I tilt my head. “Like what?”
“I want to talk about us.”
“Oh…” My shoulders droop. I should’ve known this conversation was coming. He’s been too easygoing with everything.
“Hey.” Carson gently grips my chin, forcing me to make eye contact. “Stop those thoughts right now. I want to make sure we’re on the same page. If this is going to work, we have to communicate. I need to know what you’re thinking, and you need to feel confident in where we stand with each other.”
My worry evaporates. “You’re right. I’m sorry for thinking the worst.”
“Never apologize for what your brain has been trained to do. You spent so long doing your best to anticipate your abuser’s next move and how you could mitigate his response.
That’s why I want to make sure we set the precedence for talking to each other first, before things go off the rails because we didn’t communicate. ”
I’m in love with him.
Holy crap. I’ve always loved him because he’s my best friend, but I’m truly in love with him. It’s too early and way too fast for that. I have no idea how I’m going to hide those feelings with Mr. Communicator over here, but I’m going to do my damnedest. I’m not ready to tell him yet.
I swallow down the confession. “Okay. Where do you want to start?”
“What happened today after that journalist accosted you? You retreated into your head and then lied when you said you were fine.”
I grimace. “You’re starting off strong. Well… It’s just that I was wondering how long you’d be okay with living like this. When will you get tired of being hounded by the press and decide you could live a stress-free life back in Sonoma?”
Carson opens his mouth and then shuts it again. He bites the inside of his lip as he decides how to respond. When he finally does, I’m shocked by his answer.
“I’ll get tired of the vultures when you do.
You live like this every day. The least I can do is be by your side to help shoulder the burden.
They’re going to drive me crazy, but not because they interrupt my life.
What they do to you on a daily basis pisses me the fuck off.
You don’t deserve to have your life broadcasted across the internet for people to make shit up about you.
If I can help ease the stress of what they do to you, then I’ll be happy.
That’s all I want—to make your life better.
Without you, my life is a dreary place. I’ll take the vultures every day if it means I get to be with you for the rest of our lives. ”
Emotion clogs my throat as the depth of Carson’s love for me is revealed. “I love you, Carson. I’m in love with you.”
So much for keeping my feelings a secret .
Carson’s smile is so full of love, I can’t help but smile back at him. “I’m in love with you, too, Goose. I’d do anything for you.”
I lean in and kiss him, the press of his mouth to mine sealing our words in stone. Our relationship will never be the same after this, but it’s only going to be for the better. I pull back so we don’t give Daren a show he didn’t sign up for.
“I want to live in Sonoma,” I blurt out.
Carson’s exhale is full of relief. “Thank god. I’d move here with you if I had to, but I really didn’t want to.”
“We’ll have to travel back and forth a lot,” I warn him.
“I’m well aware. I don’t mind visiting as often as we need to, but knowing our home base will be in Sonoma makes it much easier.”
“Okay. I think I like this communication thing. What else do we need to talk about?”
Carson snorts. “We need to find a more permanent place in LA.”
I grimace. “Right. Has Chelsea found us a new place to stay in the interim?”
“Yeah, looks like she found a house to rent since we’re going to be here for a while longer.
” Carson pulls up the information from his texts with Chelsea to show me the listing.
She found a cute little bungalow surrounded by greenery and flowers.
It looks perfect for us. “She already got our stuff moved, too.”
“She’s on top of it. I don’t think I pay her enough.”
“I told her the same thing, and she promised me you pay her plenty.”
I smirk. That sounds exactly like her. I cuddle up next to Carson while we eat the picnic he brought. The peacefulness of the moment is exactly what I needed after the adrenaline of working with Henry. The sunset is gorgeous, throwing oranges and reds across the sky .
We decide to head back to the car quickly after we finish eating. None of us wants to be out here once it gets too dark to see.
Holding Carson’s hand as we walk, I hug his arm to my chest. He presses a kiss on my forehead, and I try to remember the last time I was this happy. My first thought was when I got signed, but I was so scared, I don’t think that counts.
The only other time was when Carson and I had a night similar to this one right before I moved. I was full of hope, and spending the evening with my favorite person was the cherry on top of the sundae.
How did I ever think I could be with anyone other than him?
“Virginia!”
That voice makes my blood drain from my face.
“I know you’re here. Come out and face me, bitch.”
“Fuck,” Carson whispers. He wraps his arms around my shoulders and pauses at the gate that leads out to our SUV.
Daren moves in front of us while Reggie stays back. They both have their guns drawn, which sends shivers down my spine.
Daren looks at Carson, his expression a mask of anger.
If I didn’t know he was a big teddy bear inside, I’d be terrified of him.
“We’re going straight to the car.” Then he looks at me, his expression softening just a little.
“Do not engage, Miss Ginny. No matter what the Weasel says, don’t look at him, respond or give any indication you can even hear him. Understand?”
The words are stuck in my throat, so I nod instead.
After a quick look at Reggie, Daren opens the gate. Under the protective arm of Carson, I can’t see much of anything besides the ground and the back of Daren’s black suit coat.
“Don’t you walk to that car, Virginia!” Wesley screams. “ You’re mine! I will kill that fucker. You were mine first. You’ll always be mine.”
Daren hustles us into the car. I don’t even know where Wesley is right now. I’m surrounded by my guys, and I’m not afraid. I’ve never felt more protected than I do right now.
Once Carson and I are in the car, Daren has words with Wesley while Reggie stands behind Daren as protection.
I want to hear what they’re saying, but I’m not going to open the door to find out.
After a few more minutes of Wesley screaming obscenities loud enough to hear through the windows, Daren and Reggie get in the car without a backward glance.
Daren starts driving, the silence in the SUV almost oppressive.
“What was he saying, Daren?”
“All the same things you heard. He was high as a kite. I notified my police contact that Wesley was likely driving under the influence, and someone is going to get hurt if he’s not stopped.”
“How did he know we were here?” Carson asks.
“I’m betting he still has access to the security controls. He probably got alerted when we pulled up to the house. I’ll get one of the guys to update the access immediately.”
“All the more reason to sell the house then,” I murmur.
“Agreed.” Carson squeezes me to his chest as if he needs the comfort more than I do.
I happily snuggle in for the long drive to the new rental.
I have a feeling this event is going to hit me hard when we get back, but right now, I’m going to cuddle with the man who loves me more than anyone in the world and not think about anything else.