Page 22 of Unstoppable You (Sapph in the City #6)

Chapter Twenty-Two

James

Delaney kept zoning out and I knew she was probably panicking about today. Things had changed for her, there was no way of getting around that.

“Hey,” I asked her after we loaded the dishwasher, “did you want to talk about anything?”

She washed her hands for a long time and shook her head as she dried them.

“You can. If you want. I just wanted you to know that I’m here. And if you want to go back to being friends and never talk about today again, that’s okay.” I wouldn’t forget about it, but I wouldn’t bring it up unless she wanted to. Above all else, I didn’t want her to have any regrets about today.

She studied my face and nodded again. “Thanks. I’m not ready to…anyway.” She threw the paper towel she’d used to dry her hands in my trash can. “I should probably get home.”

Fuck, I didn’t want her to leave. A brief image of handcuffing her to my bed danced through my mind. I’d only do that if she asked.

Delaney had never given me any indication that she might be a little kinky, and I wasn’t going to ask. Not unless she brought it up. But if she wanted to discuss it, I’d be more than happy to.

“I’m not kicking you out. Hell, you can stay as long as you want.” It was a serious offer.

Delaney rolled her eyes. “No, I need to go home. I skipped out on going to my parents and I also had a million things to do when I got home from seeing them.” I needed to do a bunch of cleaning that I’d put off so I could get naked with her. No regrets. I could do chores anytime.

“Got it. Well.” She gathered up her clothes and I gave her one of my reusable grocery bags to take them home with her.

“I’ll wash this and give it back to you,” she said, plucking at the hem of the shirt she wore.

“Keep it,” I told her. She could have it. I loved the idea of her wearing my clothes. Why was that such a turn-on?

“I’ll bring it back,” she said, stepping closer to me. Was our time over now? Would I ever get to kiss her again? Was today the only time like this I’d have with her?

I was doing my best not to panic about that. I’d gotten the tiniest taste of her and all I wanted was more.

“One more kiss,” she whispered, as if to herself. She popped up on her toes and joined her mouth with mine, immediately kissing me deeply. She wasn’t shy about it at all. As if she wanted to make this last one a good one. The best one. My tongue twisted with hers in a bittersweet way and I knew that something between us had ended when she finally pulled away.

I couldn’t cry. I wasn’t going to let her see me cry. Not until after she left.

“Let me know when you get home safe,” I told her. “And…just don’t ghost me. Please. Even if it’s just to reach out and tell me that you need time.”

I couldn’t bear it if she stopped talking to me altogether. Not when I’d finally gotten her back in my life.

Delaney gazed into my eyes and I thought she might kiss me again.

“I’ll see you…when I see you?” she said and walked to the door.

Fuck. Letting her go was awful. I hated it.

“See you, baby.” I had to get it in one more time.

Her smile was soft as she opened my door and left. The sound of it shutting behind her was a sound of finality.

Shit.

* * *

She sent me a message only a few minutes later that she’d gotten home.

I’m ordering my new couch right now. Do you think you could come over and help me put it together when it gets here?

I shouldn’t have been as excited as I was to get that message. Hell yes I could help her with her couch.

Sure. I put mine together so I know all the tricks.

She was still talking to me .

Thanks.

I tried not to stay glued to my phone the rest of the night, so I cleaned up the house and did laundry and dishes. Part of me didn’t want to wash the blankets that we’d messed up together, but it would have been gross not to.

I got a message and I ran for my phone, hoping it was from Delaney.

It was from Connor.

Can u come get me?

For half a second, I wondered if he was in jail, but then remembered that he wouldn’t have been able to send a text message if he was. And he would have called our dad first because he could only remember one or two phone numbers.

Where are you? I typed out the response with my teeth clenched. It didn’t matter, but I wanted to make sure he wasn’t in danger. I might not like him very much, but he was my brother and I didn’t want anything terrible to happen to him.

New Hamshire

How the hell had he managed to graduate from high school? I knew my dad must have pulled some strings and put pressure on the teachers to pass him.

What the hell are you doing in New Hampshire?

He called me.

“Can you just come get me?” he whined. “I’m hungry.”

“You told me you’re in New Hampshire, but where? Are you sitting on the side of the highway? Are you safe somewhere?” He was so bad at details.

“I’m, uh, sitting in front of a Walmart.” Okay, that was good.

“And how did you get there?”

“Ugh, can you stop it with the third degree and just come here?”

I had no idea what had resulted in him ending up at a New Hampshire Walmart, but I wasn’t going to be bailing him out. He could call someone else.

“Call Mom or Dad. I’m busy.” I hung up.

Immediately he blew up my phone until I turned off the notifications. He’d stop eventually, and then I’d get the calls from my parents for being a shitty sister and the cycle would begin again.

Letting out a disgusted sound, I started folding my laundry and thinking about today with Delaney. A complete surprise, but I wouldn’t have changed a single moment of it. She’d been shy, and then eager and adorable and open. We could do so much more together. Just in case, I wanted to check if she’d been recently tested in case she decided she wanted to explore more.

At some point, we’d have to discuss the fact that she had very recently been dating my brother. It was going to be weird, that was for sure.

I checked my phone about an hour later and saw that I had a bunch of angry voicemails that I deleted and a lot of pissy texts. Well fuck him. He could figure his shit out himself.

And I had another message from Delaney.

I can’t stop thinking about you. Is that bad?

No, there was absolutely nothing bad about that. Instead of typing out a message, I video called her.

She answered right away. As if she’d been waiting for me.

“Hey,” I said as her face lit up the screen. She was in bed, her hair draped on her pillow.

I got comfortable on the couch.

“Hey,” she responded. “I thought you might want some space or something, but…I guess I didn’t want to give you space.”

“Me neither. I almost asked you if you wanted to stay another night. You could, you know. Or I could come there.” I’d walk if I had to. It wasn’t that far.

She sighed. “No, I need to have some space to think. But I can think and still talk to you about other things.” Good. I needed to keep talking to her.

“Did you tell Millie that I said hello?” I asked her.

She snorted. “Yeah, I talk to my air fryer now. I guess I’m that person.”

“Nothing wrong with that.”

Silence fell between us.

“I don’t know what to think,” she whispered.

“About what?” I asked, even though I knew. She’d said she didn’t want to talk about this, but it seemed almost impossible to avoid.

“About me. About what we did together. About how it made me feel. About what that means for who I am and what I know about myself.” Her words were so quiet I could barely hear her.

“I was really scared. When I first came out. Because I knew my parents wouldn’t be supportive, but also because I wasn’t sure that was who I wanted to be . Why did I have to be defined by my sexuality? So many other people get to just live their lives and not even think about it once. Why did I have to have this struggle and stress? It isn’t always an easy thing, Delaney. To question what you’ve believed about yourself for your entire life. To see a different future for yourself.”

She fiddled with her blanket. “I almost want to ask my parents, but I don’t know what to say and I don’t want to say the wrong thing. What if I change my mind? What if I’m wrong?”

Her eyes were big and bright when she looked up at me. I wished I was there with her to hold her in my arms, but this was the best I could do.

“There’s no wrong way to be. If you change your label or change your mind, then so what? It’s not anyone’s business but yours. And if you don’t want to wake up tomorrow and hop on the lesbian float in the Pride parade, you don’t have to. You get to decide who you are. No one else. Because this is your life and you’re the one who gets to live it.”

I gave her the words I wish I’d heard for myself back when it had been two a.m. and I’d been freaking out in the glow of my laptop as I searched online to figure out if I was a lesbian or not.

Delaney started to cry and, fuck, I wanted to be there with her.

“Do you need me to come over?” I asked. “I can be there in like ten minutes or less.”

She sniffed. “No. I’m okay. I really am. Thank you for talking to me. And for today. I wouldn’t have trusted or wanted that with anyone else.”

“Oh, baby,” I said.

She gave me a little smile and that was good to see. “I shouldn’t like the way you call me baby so much. Connor…he never called me that. He called me ‘babe’ and I always hated it.” Good thing I hadn’t used that.

“What’s the difference?” I asked.

She thought about that. “I’m not sure. It just is different.”

“He called me earlier. He was stuck at a Walmart in New Hampshire.” Delaney burst out laughing just as I hoped she would.

“What the hell was he doing there?”

I shook my head slowly. “I have no idea, but I sure as fuck wasn’t going to get him. He blew up my phone for a while and now I’m just waiting for the two-pronged assault of my parents telling me what an awful sister I am.”

“I’m sorry. You really shouldn’t have to deal with that. If you ever want to borrow my parents, I know they’d love to see you.” I had no doubt about that. Delaney’s parents were just good people, through and through.

“Maybe. Wouldn’t they assume that something was happening between us?”

Delaney shrugged one shoulder. “They might.”

“Would you be okay with that?”

She let out a long breath. “I don’t know yet. I have the feeling I’m going to be up really late tonight.” She rubbed her forehead with frustration.

“Do you want me to stay on the phone with you?”

“No, you don’t have to do that. But maybe we can just keep the call going for a little while.”

“Sure.”

We talked for a little longer and then I started getting ready for bed, setting the phone nearby so she’d know I hadn’t gone anywhere.

“Can I tell you a secret?” she asked as I got into bed.

“Please. I love secrets.” I wiggled my eyebrows and pulled my blankets up, propping my phone on them.

“I sprayed on some of your cologne before I left because I really like the way it smells.” I hadn’t even noticed, but holy shit, that was cute.

“So you like the way I smell?” I asked, smirking. Her cheeks went red.

“Don’t make it weird, James.”

“You’re the one who admitted to stealing my smell.”

She made an offended sound. “If you were here, I’d throw a pillow at you.”

“I wish you were here,” I admitted.

She sighed. “Yeah, I kinda wish that too. So you could distract me and I wouldn’t have to do this whole fucking identity crisis.”

She let out a little laugh that was mostly without humor.

“Can you reschedule the identity crisis for another time?” It wasn’t a great joke.

Her lips formed a sad smile. “Not really. And the fact that I am having a crisis means that there’s a crisis to have. Right?”

I didn’t follow. “What?”

She huffed. “The fact that I’m even questioning my sexuality means that it probably isn’t what I always assumed it was. Like, people who are straight don’t sit around thinking about kissing people of the same gender all the time.”

I wanted to be careful with this. “Some do, I’m sure.”

“Right, but they would probably like ‘no, definitely not’ and that would be that. You don’t continue to question if you’re already settled in who you are.” She had a point there.

Delaney let out a frustrated noise. “Why is this happening now ? Why couldn’t I have figured this shit out years ago? Like, what the fuck?” I knew exactly how she was feeling.

“I don’t have an answer for you, but I get it. I get all of this.”

She was quiet for a while and then she started to cry.

“I think… I don’t think I’m straight.”

I nodded and waited.

“Being with you just…it made sense. For the first time. I wasn’t forcing myself. It felt right instead of wrong.” Holy shit. I couldn’t believe I was getting to see her have this revelation in real time.

“I understand. The feeling right instead of wrong.” Fuck, did I understand.

“Does this mean I can go to Sapph now and they won’t kick me out?” She laughed.

“They would never kick you out, but now you can feel comfortable there. It’s your space. It’s a place for people like us.”

“People like us,” she repeated. “I don’t think I’m ready for the word yet. To say it or to even think it. I know a word shouldn’t be that scary, but I need some time to adjust.”

I nodded. “That’s fine. Your label should fit you, and not for you to fit the label, if that makes sense.” For a brief period of time, I’d assumed that I was bisexual because I was still so attached with the idea that while I might have feelings for women, I could still date and be with men. That lasted for as long as it took for me to realize that I had exactly zero romantic and sexual attraction to men. Ever. Delaney might go through a similar journey, especially since she’d been in a relationship with a man for four years. Letting that go was a lot.

“God, can we talk about something else. Anything else.”

I thought for a moment. “I read that romance with the cucumber and the tomato.”

She gasped in shock. “You did not!”

“I did .”