Page 26

I narrowed my eyes at the phone screen as I tried to interpret the hidden message behind Archer's text.

We hadn't spoken last night after our kiss.

His family had left and I stayed in my room until I was sure I could control myself.

I'd thought he might text or call before bed, but when I'd woken up this morning all I'd gotten was that one text. About gas. Ugh.

From the second our lips touched, my whole world had shifted. It was like for my entire life, I hadn't been taking full breaths. Then suddenly, I was able to actually fill my lungs. It was liberating, and exhilarating, and—well, freaking terrifying all at once.

Had I been naive to believe that Archer had felt the same way about our kiss?

I was no expert, but how on earth was it even possible for only one person to experience that alone?

But why would Archer kiss me—cross that invisible line—if it didn't matter to him?

Wait, did he kiss me or did I kiss him?

I couldn't remember. It was all a blur of heavy breaths and tiny touches.

My brain was a jumble of anxious thoughts as I packed up my stuff and got ready to go back to school.

I wasn't as sad to be leaving home again as I thought I'd be.

I'd been at USC for almost three whole months now and this was my first trip home.

I thought I'd be a shaking mess about leaving my family again, but I was okay.

I really missed Mads and Emmett, and I knew I would be seeing my family again in less than a month for Christmas.

The satisfaction I felt from just simply being okay gave me the motivation to hold my head high and walk downstairs.

My family were all waiting for me in the living room.

Their sullen faces shook my confidence slightly, but I reminded myself that I had already gone months on my own, I could go one more.

"Come here," my dad said softly, opening his arms for me to join him on the couch. I sunk into his embrace, feeling the peace of my father's love washing over me as I rested my head on his chest.

I peeked up when I felt the cushion next to me sink. Oliver flopped himself down with an overdramatic sigh and sandwiched me in a hug.

"We're going to miss you, sweet girl." My mom smiled as she came over to rest on my dad's knee.

My dad wrapped his free arm around her as we all enjoyed the last few seconds of family time.

I loved seeing my parent's easy affection.

They never hid how madly in love they'd always been with each other.

I think it's part of the reason why Oliver and I are so comfortable with physical affection, it's always been the way in our house.

There was a knock at the front door before it swung open. Heavy footsteps clicked on the hardwood of the foyer before stopping at the entrance of the living room. My back was to the archway separating the two rooms, but I already knew it was Archer. Keep it together Charlotte.

"Go away. You can't take her," Oliver pouted as he tightened his hold on me. His comment was met with complete silence, which was abnormal even for Archer. He usually at least entertained Oliver's silliness.

I shook my dad and brother off to collect myself and stand up.

The sight before me almost made me gasp.

Archer was still wearing the same clothes he'd been in last night.

There was a grey pallor to his skin that emphasized the stubble growing on his jaw.

Dark purple bags protruded under his sunken eyes, almost like bruises.

His eyes though... they made me want to cry.

As our gazes connected a chill ran over my spine.

Archer's eyes were lifeless. It was a stark contrast to the last time I'd seen them swimming with warmth and intensity.

Now they were dull, hollow, and disinterested.

They roamed over our family huddle, coldly taking in the embrace we'd been sharing, before settling back on me.

"Ready? I have practise soon." Archer's voice was hoarse and scratchy. Was he sick? Is that why he looked like this?

I nodded quickly, "Yeah, just let me say one more goodbye."

Archer didn't wait for me, instead, he turned quickly to leave again.

He stopped momentarily before disappearing behind the dividing wall.

When he came back into sight he had the duffle bag that I'd left at the bottom of the stairs.

He didn't spare us another glance though as he strode out of the house.

I hastily hugged my family again, telling them I loved them. My dad was last and as we pulled away he stopped me and rested his hand on my shoulder.

"You take care of yourself okay?" He asked gruffly, eyeing the door Archer had just left through.

"Of course, Dad." I kissed his cheek before giving them all a sad smile and walking away.

Archer was already in the truck when I got to the driveway so I scrambled quickly up into the passenger seat. I tried not to let it bother me that he was acting this way. I had to give him the benefit of the doubt until I knew what was up.

As the truck rumbled to life underneath of me, my family all came out on the front porch to wave us off.

My mom and Oliver both had teary smiles on their faces as they laughed and blew kisses at me.

My dad, however, looked stiff and troubled.

His shoulders were straight back as he stood tall.

His eyes were locked on something to my left, and as I turned I realized what was happening.

Archer and my dad were locked in some kind of silent conversation.

Both men's jaws were locked tightly as they stared darkly at each other.

I flicked nervously between them, trying to figure out what was happening.

Finally, Archer broke the contact, nodding to himself as he shifted into reverse and pulled out of the driveway.

We drove silently for a while. Archer's knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel so tightly. He didn't look at me once, or say anything. He just stared blankly at the road before him, with his lips pressed together.

I pulled on my fingers obsessively, trying to hold back the tears that wanted to fall.

This was not the man I was expecting today.

I'd been nervous to see Archer after the kiss, but never did I think he'd be this cold shadow of himself.

I tried to tell myself that something was obviously wrong.

But I hadn't done anything to him, and yet his anger was definitely aimed towards me too.

I hadn't done anything... except kiss him.

"A-Archer, are you okay?" I whispered, unable to take the silence any longer.

Archer's knuckles tightened even more at the sound of my voice. The veins on his forearms were popping aggressively from his tanned skin. "I'm fine," he said curtly, not bothering to look at me.

"Well, you don't seem fine. Is... is this about last night?" The nerves pulsing through my body tightened my throat, making my voice small and squeaky.

Archer didn't respond right away, torturing me with silence. I thought my heart would rip out of my chest if he didn't answer me soon, but then I learned that words can cut a lot deeper than silence.

"You think a fucking kiss made me like this? Jesus Charlotte. That was a mistake, it should have never happened. If I'd known you were going to make such a big deal out of it, I'd never have done it."

My eyes burned with tears as a chill settled in my heart.

I didn't respond. I couldn't have even if I wanted to.

My throat seized and my chest tightened as pain washed over me.

I'd been so stupid. Stupid to think that the kiss could mean something.

Stupid to think Archer might feel something for me.

Stupid to ever have even become friends with him in the first place. Stupid.

Hot tears rolled down my cheeks as I forced myself to take deep breaths through my nose.

Archer wasn't looking at me, but I was determined he wouldn't see the pain he'd caused.

I turned my back to him, facing out the window as I silently cried.

How did this happen? Years later and I was still naive enough to let myself be embarrassed by Archer Johnson.

I stayed like that for the rest of the drive.

A cold silence filled the truck as neither of us seemed interested in saying anything more.

As we pulled into USC Village I tried to think of something impactful I could say to Archer.

Something that would cut him as deeply as he cut me.

Something that would show him I was done, that this was goodbye.

But everything I came up with only worked if Archer actually cared.

He'd made it clear he didn't so what was the point?

The truck thudded to a stop in front of the dorm and I silently left the truck.

I didn't look at him or say anything. It wasn't worth it anymore.

Plus, I didn't want him to see my wet face or hear the weakness in my voice.

I wouldn't give him that. I kept my head low as I opened the backseat and grabbed my duffle bag.

I thought I heard a sharp intake of breath but I shut the door and went inside before I could register it.

My mind was numb as I entered the building and went to the elevator. A few people gave me weird looks but I didn't care anymore.

"Jesus Christ Charlotte! What happened?" Madeline's voice was shrill as I entered our dorm and dropped my bag inside. She came running over, pulling my face up and inspecting me for injuries.

I stared back at her blankly, my body shutting down from the sheer weight of my own pain. "I kissed Archer," was all I could manage. I didn't even recognize my own voice.

Understanding flashed in Madeline's eyes as she flicked her gaze over my face.

She nodded, not asking any more questions.

Instead, she wrapped her arm around my shoulder and steered me towards the couch.

I absentmindedly was aware that she was calling somebody, but I wasn't focused on her words.

Her anxious voice was like a bee buzzing in the background that I desperately wanted to swat away.

I sat like that for a while until I heard the front door open.

A tiny pathetic part of me hoped it'd be Archer walking through the door, but it wasn't.

"Hey, Smalls," Emmett cooed as he walked over to me.

He sat down next to me on the couch and didn't wait for an invitation before pulling me into his lap.

His broad arms wrapped loosely around me as he dropped his chin on my head. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

I relaxed against his chest, taking a deep breath as his heartbeat thudded into my shoulder blade. Madeline sat on the coffee table in front of us, watching me, waiting.

"I don't even know what to say," I whispered hoarsely. "It all happened again." I hated the cracks in my voice.

"What happened again?" Emmett asked soothingly.

I sucked in air, trying to calm my frazzled brain into forming coherent sentences. "Archer and I kissed last night. But then this morning... h-he... said it was a mistake. It shouldn't have happened. It didn't mean anything."

"Son of a bitch." Emmett growled.

Madeline gave him a look to shut up. "Charlotte that doesn't make sense... Archer is crazy about you. I mean, even if he regretted the kiss I can't picture him being so unnecessarily cruel."

I lifted one shoulder, still somewhat out of it. I couldn't bring myself to theorize about why Archer may have acted as he did. Right now, it made the most sense that he just didn't care. I didn't realize I was crying again until Emmett's slim finger swiped across my cheek softly.

"I don't know. I just think something weird is happening here," Madeline mused.

Emmett shifted in his seat, as though he had a lot of excess energy he couldn't release. "Who gives a shit right now, Mads. There's no excuse for him to say that."

"I'm just saying, everything he has done so far points to him caring about you, Charlotte. At the very least as a friend."

Emmett scoffed, then shuffled me off of his lap to pull his phone out of his pocket.

"Shit. I'm sorry, Smalls. I've gotta go to practise.

"

He bent over and pulled me into another hug.

His warmth relaxed some of the tension I held in my muscles.

But then he was gone. I noticed a look he shot Madeline on his way out, that she returned with a warning glare of her own.

I wasn't sure what they were going on about, but I also didn't care enough right now to ask.

I settled back on the couch, closing my eyes. A soft fluffy fabric fell over me and I peeked my eyes open. Madeline stood over me, having just dropped my comforter from my bed over me. The familiar smell made me smile a little, which she returned looking relieved.

"Just go to sleep, babe. This all might seem better after you rest."

I doubted it. But regardless, I closed my eyes and laid back.

Archer's cold voice drifted into my consciousness as my mind released control of my dreams. Blurry images of his face taunted my vision.

I just wanted to get away, but his laughter chased me.

I couldn't escape it. It bound around my body and tightened at my throat. Mocking me. Ridiculing me.

When I woke up, I didn't remember many details. I just had an overwhelming sense of disappointment in myself.

I can't believe I let it happen again.