Page 23

Archer drove us to a diner about ten minutes from the USC campus.

A retro, 50s vibe spanned the entire restaurant—bright neon lights, red and white striped booths, and tacky wallpaper.

Waitresses moved around on rollerblades with short pink collared-dresses carrying huge trays of mouth-watering food.

We settled at a table in the back, with Madeline and Archer both flanking me as usual, then Emmett and James across from us. A waitress glided over and dropped off menus, before taking our drink orders and leaving us be.

The front door slammed open and a gush of noise carried over to us. Some of the other football players came striding in and noticed our group.

"Sup guys," Tyler said as he approached us, "We can join, yeah?" He didn't wait for a response before he pulled tables over and fell into a seat across from us. "Hey Charlotte," he winked at me, "Thanks for getting our QB in shape out there."

"Fuck off, Tyler," Archer grumbled as he kicked the leg of Tyler's chair and put his arm around my shoulder.

The other boys sat down, calling greetings to each other but I noticed there were still three empty seats. The clicking of heels caught my attention as the red-headed cheerleader and her friends walked in. Tyler whistled to get their attention and they all catwalked over to us.

"Hey there, boys," the redhead cooed as she sat down gracefully, followed by the two other girls. Archer stiffened next to me, his hand frozen mid-stroke on my shoulder.

"Teela," Tyler nodded as he picked up a menu.

Teela sat tall and straight in her chair as she scanned our table.

As our eyes connected, I tried to smile at her as some kind of peace offering.

Maybe she had been joking around earlier?

She glowered at me and curled her lip in disgust. Okay never mind.

Her face cleared instantly as her gaze moved to my right and was replaced with a wide smile, "Archer!

what are your plans for Thanksgiving? If you're staying back you could always come to our Friendsgiving. "

"Actually," Archer spoke lowly, "Charlotte and I are heading home tomorrow."

"Oh..." Teela's smile stiffened, "fun."

Tyler waved his hand in the air as though he was swatting a fly, "Woah, woah, woah! You're bringing a girl home for thanksgiving, Johnson?"

"We grew up together," Archer glanced down at me with a small smile. "Our families spend most holidays together."

"Awe how cute, so you're like family." Teela simpered.

Archer choked slightly as he sipped from his drink. "Nah,"-he cleared his throat-"family friends, I guess."

The waitress returned to take our order before anymore awkwardness could ensue.

The boys all ordered different variations of huge burgers and fries while Madeline and I ordered nachos and chicken strips to share.

I felt guilty after all three cheerleaders ordered salads.

I should probably eat like that right? I had always been small, but I wasn't fit.

My stomach wasn't hard and no amount of running stopped my thighs from having some extra squish to them.

It was hard to focus on the amiable chatter swirling around me as I compared myself to the three girls at the other end of the table.

These uncertain feelings I'd been having towards Archer scared me.

I had come to value our friendship so much, and now that the line was blurring.

.. it complicated things. Especially since there was no way I could ever be even close to Archer's league.

A part of me felt like we were doomed for history to repeat itself.

I'd fall for Archer eventually, he'd be disgusted that I'd think he'd want me, then the relationship would be ruined.

"Hey,"-Archer removed his arm from my shoulders and squeezed my thigh-"you good?"

"Oh yeah... Just, uh, thinking about driving home tomorrow."

Archer nodded and turned back to James who was reliving the game with Emmett and Tyler.

Archer's hand remained on my thigh, pulling all of my attention.

He held the leg farthest from him, causing his arm to stretch across my body.

His thumb dropped to my inner thigh as he traced the seam of my jeans.

Butterflies erupted in my stomach while I tried to focus on Madeline.

When Archer had his arm around me, it felt protective.

Like he thought I might get lost or something if he didn't hold onto me. But this felt... possessive.

Heat rushed across my collarbone and up my neck as Archer's thumb lazily caressed me.

Every small movement sent static tingles surging up my spine making my brain go hazy.

Did he know what he was doing to me? I peeked up at him through my hair and saw he was still engaged with the boys, nodding his head as James spoke.

He seemed tense though. His sharp jaw was locked tightly while his Adam's apple bobbed up and down.

Archer must have felt my eyes on him because he dropped his gaze back to me.

Something passed between us that I didn't understand.

There was a darkness to Archer's eyes and a flush to his cheeks that was unfamiliar.

It was as though an electric current had built up as he rubbed my thigh, and when our eyes met, the energy exploded.

It was a wonder no one else could hear my pulse throbbing in my throat.

I gulped and my eyes widened as his grip on me tightened.

The veins on his forearm popped as though he was tensing every muscle in his body.

We were locked in a staring contest that neither of us could break.

Then, just as soon as it had happened, it was over.

Archer cleared his throat and removed his hand from my thigh.

He gave his head a small shake before turning back to the table and returning to the conversation.

A small nudge to my right stole my attention.

Madeline was staring at me with raised eyebrows and a secretive smile.

Okay, apparently someone else had felt the electrical current between Archer and I.

I raised my shoulders in a small shrug, unsure how to explain what just happened.

My heart raced aggressively and I didn't know if words would even come out if I tried to speak.

Thankfully, our food arrived and we all were distracted by the thick smell of grease, meat, and cheese. James cleared his throat before we could all dig in and raised his glass.

"Alright, cheers to Emmett! That was one hell of a touchdown for a rookie!

" We all echoed his cheers. "And also," James added giving me a sneaky grin, "Cheers to Charlotte!

Whatever you did to our QB at halftime helped us win, so thanks for being the only person who can handle him.

" The other football players all laughed and cheered as I sank into my chair with a deep red blush.

Teela audibly scoffed from her seat causing Emmett to shoot her a glare.

When we made eye contact I rolled my eyes to let him know to ignore it.

The clatter of forks and knives overtook the table as everyone began to eat.

I nibbled at a tortilla chip as I braved a peek over to Archer.

He seemed more relaxed now, devouring his overstuffed burger.

When our eyes connected again, I felt the uncertainty in his gaze.

I smiled weakly, trying to grab onto any normalcy.

He seemed to appreciate that as he let out a small breath and smiled back.

Dinner passed quickly after that. Archer didn't speak to me—or anyone else—until it was time to go.

To be fair, when he stood up to grab his jacket he acted as usual, placing his hand against my back to guide me to his truck.

But his fingertips barely grazed my shoulder blades, and I sensed his restraint in the tense way he was holding his shoulders.

The truck ride back to the USC Village was quiet.

The clicking of Madeline's nails on her phone screen bled into my consciousness as I combed over every detail of the night in my mind.

It had started so well... Archer had been genuinely happy after we made up—which was so rare, especially in groups like that.

Then that weird staring contest had ruined everything.

Archer stopped in front of our building and put the truck in park. I bolstered myself for further rejection as I grabbed my purse and plastered a smile on my face. I heard Madeline climb out as I turned to Archer.

"Well, good game tonight," I said shakily, "thanks for the ride."

Archer's hand shot out and grabbed my arm, "Charlotte wait"-his eyes flicked behind as though he was ensuring we couldn't be heard-"look I... Uh. About earlier, I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" I scrunched my nose, "For what?"

"I just, I shouldn't have, well... if I made you uncomfortable, I'm sorry."

My shoulders relaxed as I realized what he meant. I hadn't been uneasy with his touch before, but to be fair this was a very different interaction than usual. I flushed again as I thought back to that moment in the restaurant. I hadn't been uncomfortable, I'd been aroused.

"It's fine," I smile weakly. "No biggie."

Archer smiled and pulled my arm to bring me closer to him. I dropped my head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around me. His head tilted so he could kiss my forehead and I felt his lips tug into a smile against my skin.

"I just want you to feel safe with me, Sweetheart," he mumbled with his lips still pressed to me.

I melted further into his touch as I let his gravelly voice wash over me. My muscles eased as his heartbeat thudded into my chest. I mulled over how I felt around Archer. Sometimes I was unsure, or nervous. Often I felt inadequate. Most of the time I was happy though. Did I ever feel unsafe?

"Archer, I can honestly say I think I feel my absolute safest when I'm with you." I raised my face off his shoulder so he could see the truth in my eyes. His dark eyes melted as a softness glowed from them. I could tell that my words meant something to him.

"So, we're good then?" He asked.

"We're good," I confirmed with a nod.

I climbed out of the truck and waved goodbye before walking up the path towards Madeline who stood waiting at the doors. Instead of entering the building, she pointed her jaw towards the bench that was on the front lawn—motioning for me to follow her and sit down.

"Okay," she sighed as we both got comfortable on the bench, "I've gotten bits and pieces of your history with Archer... But girl, what the hell are you two doing?"

I dropped my head back so I could stare up at the stars twinkling down on us. The sky was a dark navy backdrop for the glowing balls of light as they captivated me. The cold night air stung my lungs in the best way possible. As though each breath cleansed my worries and cleared my fuzzy brain.

"I don't know anymore, Mads," I whispered. "I thought I loved him at one point in my life. Then I thought I hated him. Now... we're friends? But I've never had a friendship this—all-consuming before. I'm worried that Brit and Kayla were right. I'm in too deep and I can't handle myself."

"Well, first of all, those girls were not right. They were mean and condescending and selfish. You can handle anything you need to, these last couple of months have proven that."

"What do you think though—about Archer? What am I doing?"

Madeline let out a long sigh and she scooted her bum lower on the bench to look up at the sky with me.

"I'm going to be honest, I think whatever is happening between you two is super complicated.

I mean, everyone basically thinks you're dating by how you treat each other.

But then you talk and I think... well, you guys have known each other for years.

Maybe it's natural for you to grow this close. "

"I think I do like him," I said so quietly I'm not sure I even meant for her to hear. "I don't know though. Maybe it's just because I wanted him for all those years and now we are close. But the last little while I have definitely been more,"-I gulped-"aware of him."

"You mean like the eye-sex y'all were having at the diner?" Madeline smirked.

"And all the sleepovers, and forehead kisses, and touching," I listed. "How could it feel so innocent when it all started, then now suddenly make me feel all... hot and bothered?"

Madeline let out a loud barking laugh, "I swear you talk like my nana." She shook her head still giggling. "But in all seriousness, I think it's very clear that something is happening—not just for you, for him too. But, I do think you need to be careful if you want to preserve the friendship."

My eyebrows pinched together as I nodded slowly, considering her words.

"I think that's my problem, I have been so happy having Archer as my friend.

Then there will be these moments—sometimes just a few seconds—where I want more.

But then reality crashes around me and I remember that this is Archer we are talking about, and I am me.

Even if by some miracle he liked me too, it would be so messy. "

"Well, I think it's fair to be cautious. But seriously Charlotte, if you ever decide you do want more—don't be surprised if Archer is on the same page."

We stayed like that for another hour, staring up at the stars as though they would give us the answers we needed.

I tried to sort out my whirling thoughts but it was impossible.

I just couldn't ever get passed my overwhelming belief that Archer could not like me as more than a friend.

Which would mean I needed to accept and be happy with where we were.

My body felt heavy as the weight of my emotions washed over me. Today had been over-stimulating to the extreme. I'd ridden a rollercoaster from the moment I decided to go to Archer's football game, and now, even though I was off I still felt the after-effects of the intense ups and downs.

"Well at least tomorrow is a new day," Madeline mused as we stood up to stretch and go inside.

Yes, tomorrow was a new day. A day I'd be driving home with Archer to see my family whom I missed dearly.

I silently prayed that all of my erratic emotions would stay controlled this weekend, so I could truly enjoy my time with my family and the Johnsons for the first time since I was 16.