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Chapter twenty-one

Anna

“ H ow are the shoes?” he asks for the tenth time.

“Still great,” I wiggle a foot, “I had an excellent personal shopper with me.”

“I’ve done my fair share of hikes, but never has one involved so much kissing.”

He sweeps his tongue across my lips and strokes my cheek with his thumb. If I did have a blister or sore shoulders, I doubt I’d notice. I’m so focused on what lays ahead, on what will happen tonight. Chris has been an excellent companion and honest with me about everything. This is hard work, especially in the sections where we have to do a bit of climbing, but it’s not beyond my capabilities .

We weave through thinning trees, leaving the trail behind. I don’t see anything that looks like a camping spot, but I’ve been picturing provincial campsites and RV parks, not the backcountry. When Chris ditches his pack on the ground, I turn in a tight circle to look around.

“Here?” I squeak.

There’s slightly more space between the trees and most of the ground is covered with thick green moss and a light layer of crunchy leaves.

“This is home for the night.”

His voice is swallowed by the density of the forest. Like only whispers are allowed this far off the trail. As though this section of second-growth forest demands our reverence.

“Is camping allowed?”

“Not strictly speaking…” He pulls items from his pack, laying them out neatly on the ground. “But I’ve stayed out here a lot. There’s nobody around. We’ll leave everything as we found it.”

I follow suit, relieving myself of my own pack. Unzipping the main compartment, I pull out the bag of my clothing and toiletries, looking forward to getting out of the slightly sweaty base layers and cleaning up.

“Get out your tent and I’ll show you how to set it up. ”

I bite my lip. Picturing the black fabric bundle I know full well is sitting on my bed at home.

I put on a show of rifling through the different compartments.

“Oh no. I think…I think I left it at home.”

His eyebrows rise. “Are you serious?”

“I-I don’t see it here. Crazy.”

He folds his arms across his chest which makes his arms look stupid good in his bulky sweatshirt.

“Didn’t I send you a detailed packing list?”

“Mmhmm.” I nod, voice high.

I flip over a rock with the toe of my boot.

He’s having a hard time managing the stern voice while a smirk tips up the corner of his mouth. “And didn’t you tell me you checked the list?”

When I look up, he’s standing so close.

“Is there some small chance that you may have forgotten it on purpose, Annie?”

I wring my hands together, forcing myself to look up into his eyes that, despite his serious tone, are glittering with humour. “There is a tiny possibility that is what happened, yes,” I squeak.

He surprises me by wrapping me in a bear hug that I melt into.

“I’d say sorry…but I’m not. ”

His laughter vibrates against my ear. “You’re gonna be. Come over here.”

He walks to his pack and draws a smaller bag out with one hand. A minute later he unfurls a rectangle of fabric no bigger than a picnic table and drags it over to a somewhat flat and soft looking section of the forest floor.

“Is that the tent ?”

It’s miniature. It looks like the kind of tent designed for small children. I’m pretty sure my Barbie had that tent in hot pink.

“Does it…does it feel bigger inside?”

He winks and the temperature goes up about five degrees. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

And now I’m sweating.

“What can I do to help?”

The least I can do now is be useful and not just drool at the man setting up our sleeping space.

“You can collect some kindling. After the tent is up, I’ll have a nice fire going in no time.”

I love his confidence. He’s certain he’ll have a roaring fire going to feed and warm us and dry our clothes. I’ve been running a business on my own, taking care of my place on my own, having Chris take over a few details for the weekend is nice.

** *

I drop one last armload of the driest sticks I could find by the ring of rocks Chris arranged. He offers for me to get cleaned up first while he works on the fire. Pulling my boots and socks off, I massage my tender arches and check my heels for blisters. The lightweight sneakers he suggested I pack for around camp feel like slippers after wearing the rigid boots all day. As I climb in the navy-blue tent, I can understand why Chris said I might be sorry. There isn’t much vertical space inside, but surely, it’s spacious enough for us to lie down. Hopefully. The sleeping pad is easy to inflate, and the sleeping bag looks like a five-star hotel bed after the day I had. Our packs will sit in the vestibule outside the door to stay dry. I unzip my rain shell, grateful it only drizzled a bit today, and strip off the rest of my layers. Being completely naked with only the thinnest layer of nylon fabric hiding me from Chris is exhilarating. The firewood hisses and pops and birds sing in the branches arching over our makeshift campsite. I run a wet washcloth over my skin. I finish freshening up, the crisp evening air nipping at my bare skin. Once I’m redressed in clean clothes, I emerge, the tent zipper drawing Chris’s attention from where he’s crouched by the fire.

“Feel better? ”

“Totally comfy.” I wrap my arms around myself, puffy in my fleece pullover.

“C’mon over.” He pats a spot on the ground next to him where he’s laid out a small tarp to keep our butts dry.

“Holy, it’s hot.” I scoot back.

“Fire has a tendency to do that.”

We roast smokies over the fire for supper, the simple meal so much more delicious than it normally would be due to the exertions of the day. When I leave the fire for a moment and return with a chocolate bar, a small bag of marshmallows, and a sleeve of graham wafers Chris laughs.

“Can’t remember her tent but manages the ingredients for s’mores? I see where the priorities lie.”

“I absolutely refused to do this if I didn’t at least get a s’more out of it.”

“No complaints from me. Let me go find us a couple of good roasting sticks.”

He returns with two clean branches and pulls a folding knife out of his pocket to sharpen the ends into clean points like he’d done for the sticks for supper. The knife gleams in the firelight, Chris’s capable hands manipulating it with ease. I shift on the tarp, a different heat than the one from the fire beginning to form between my legs. Seeing him use his hands like that takes me right back to my bedroom when a single one of his fingers easily brought me to orgasm.

“Were you a boy scout?”

He shakes his head, offering me my stick. “Nah. My mom taught me most of this stuff. She was the youngest girl in a family of boys and she was never left out of the outdoorsy activities. Didn’t matter what time of year it was, she always had something to teach me. Hunting, fishing, you name it. That’s how she got interested in conservation and combating invasive species and stuff like that. She was actually a park ranger when she was younger.”

Chris goes quiet, staring into the fire with a deep furrow in his brow like the flames have done something to personally offend him. He lets his chin fall into his hand and I notice him open his mouth a couple times to speak. He’s making me nervous.

He sits up straight, speaking suddenly. “You and I have had different goals.”

He scowls again like he’s unhappy with what he heard.

“Would you like to elaborate?” I squeeze his thigh.

“You’ve been trying to lose your virginity and I’ve been trying to…not.”

I press my lips together. “Chris. I don’t know how to tell you this, but you can’t un-have sex. I know virginity is a concept that only serves to strengthen the patriarchy but–”

“Anna. I know I’m not being very eloquent, but can you let me try to say this? I’m struggling.”

I gesture that my lips are sealed.

“I have been…worried…that my relationships up until this point weren’t really based on anything other than physical attraction. So, I decided to not have sex for six months.”

A ripple of pleasure washes over me at the thought of Chris not having been with anyone for a long time.

He looks at me expectantly.

“Am I allowed to say things now?” I whisper.

“Please. Save me.”

I snuggle a bit closer, resting my head on his knee.

“I can respect that. I promise I won’t do anything to, um, accost you tonight.”

But it will be hard.

He groans and I’m not sure which part of what I said was wrong.

“Today, oddly enough, marks the end of the six months. I’ve never slept with anyone I’ve been in a committed relationship with before.”

“Oh. Oh . ”

It’s all I can think to say but my mind is alight with the possibilities of what could happen inside that tiny tent. Giggling doesn’t seem like the mature response to his admission but that’s exactly what I do. Giddiness overtakes me and I laugh.

His gaze is intense.

“I guess…I guess we have that in common then,” I whisper.

“Anna?” he leans in close and I let my eyes fall shut, ready to receive a kiss that seals our words. “Your marshmallow is burning.”

I whip my head around. “Nooo! I absolutely refuse to go to bed without a damn s’more!”

He passes me his marshmallow stick and spears a fresh marshmallow on mine.

We rotate them close to the coals, paying better attention this time, before squishing them between the crackers and squares of chocolate.

“Damn, my cracker broke,” I say.

“That always happens.”

“I haven’t made one in years.” I attempt to salvage my s'more but it’s a big mess. “Aah, the chocolate is melting so fast.”

We’re laughing hard, the sound carrying high into the trees, sparks chasing the sound as they float up on wisps of rich smoke. Chris takes my wrist, hauling me into his lap. I’m still laughing, sticky marshmallow all over my lips, when he takes my chocolatey fingers into his mouth to suck them clean. My laughter morphs into heavy breaths as his tongue slides along my fingers, his mouth hot and demanding. His dark eyes reflect the dying embers behind me, and the pressure of his erection grows as he cleans away the last of the chocolate. I shift, straddling him, his length lining up perfectly with my core.

“I’ve got some right here, too.” My voice is raspy as I dart my tongue out toward the corner of my mouth.

He drags a hand through my messy hair and kisses me so deep that I simply sigh into his lips and sag against his torso. Every kilometre, every step I’d thought about this. About the moment he’d tell us we’re done moving and we can simply be together. His hands slide down my back, finding purchase on the flesh of my hips, pushing me down against his growing erection. I suck his tongue into my mouth, something I’ve never done but seems right, making him shudder.

Behind me the warmth of the ashes, before me the passion of this unfairly hot man. Even with multiple heat sources, it’s impossible to ignore the rapidly dropping temperature of the forest in fall. When I shiver, he shifts his hands to hold me fast, standing with ease .

“Gotta get you warmed up,” he says while he walks us carefully to the tent.

Away from the fire it’s pitch black.

“Crawl in, okay?”

“You’re not coming in yet?” Panic laces my voice at the thought of being left in here in the darkness.

“I have to put the fire out and stash the food.”

“Stash it?”

“Bears,” he answers, matter of fact.

I dart my eyes around the perimeter of the campsite as though said bear will amble by at the mention of his species.

“I’ll be right back.”

The darkness is even more oppressive inside the tent. I’m surprised I even find the zipper on my sleeping bag. My teeth chatter as I slip between the layers of cool, smooth material. Chris’s shoes crunch around our site and the fire hisses as he pours some water on it. We’re about to crawl into bed together tonight and I can’t be bothered getting nervous because I’m so damn eager to not be alone in the tent anymore. I let out a long breath when the zipper finally whines and he makes his way in. I hear him swear before the whole tent rustles and the next thing I know I’ve got a couple hundred pounds on top of me.

“Shit, are you okay?”

I groan. “Yes, yes. Are you?”

“I think I tripped over your shoes.”

“I don’t think I’m cut out for this.”

He adjusts his weight so I can breathe but our hips are still connected.

“What are you talking about? You’ve barely complained once.”

“I was slow, you tripped over my shoes, and I forgot my tent.”

“Don’t be a little liar, Annie. You forgot that nice-ass tent I bought you on purpose.”

I barely stifle my laugh. “Can you blame me? Even if I’d hauled the tent all the way into the bush with you, I would have ended up in yours anyway.”

“Only if I didn’t crawl into yours first.”

With very little light to go by, my other senses are heightened, and I gasp when an owl hoots somewhere above us.

“It’s okay, we’re safe out here.”

I know he’ll make that true, but there’s not a stitch of bravado in my voice when I say, “Yeah, I know .”

“I was worried about this,” he says as he rolls off me. “I think I have something that might help.”

My source of warmth crawls away and I hear a crackling plastic noise. Then cool blue light spreads through the tent, revealing Chris’s smile and a glow stick in his hand. I could kiss him. I will kiss him. I’m already breathing easier being able to see the door of the tent and my own hand in front of my face.

“Did you bring that because you knew I’d be a baby who was scared of the dark?”

“I brought it because it’s useful, and because I saw you had about seven night lights in your 400-hundred-square-foot apartment.” He chuckles warmly.

“You really thought of everything.”

“I’ve done this a few times.”

Of course.

“This?” I hate the way my voice sounds insecure.

Does he take a lot of girls out for sexy camping adventures? I mean, it worked on me.

“The camping. Not bringing glow sticks and making love to incredibly sexy women.”

For a moment I wish for the darkness back because my face splits into a very large grin and there’s nowhere to hide.

“I read that it’s actually warmest to be naked in the sleeping bag,” I say.

“You’re just trying to get me to take my clothes off.”

“Why don’t you come over here?” I unzip my bag a bit so he can cuddle closer.

When he slips his arm around me and gets a handful of my bare breast he inhales sharply. “You’re already naked!”

“That’s kind of necessary, don’t you think? Which one of us is the virgin here?” I poke him in the ribs through his fleece. “Would you please follow suit?”

After some more swearing and jostling, he slides into my sleeping bag and lays his naked body over mine. The heat that emanates from him feels glorious. His weight is a calming presence, and the tense muscles in my shoulders and back ease as I sink into the sleeping bag and mat.

“Are you still scared?” he asks.

I don’t know if he’s asking about the owl, the intermittent crack of twigs in the forest, the pitch black, or the fact that, in all likelihood, he’s about to take my virginity.

“Yes,” I answer, because that’s the truth.

At this moment, all of those things weigh on my mind.

He places the glow stick in a mesh pocket on his side of the tent and lowers himself next to me, initiating a kiss that makes me forget all about the sounds beyond our hideaway. My hands meander down his abs, enjoying the way they rise and fall, hooking my top leg over his thick thigh to entangle our bodies. When my fingers reach the place where his hair thickens, I wrap my hand around his erection like he showed me. I whimper at the way he feels. Hot and heavy in my small hand. A part of the human body that holds so much power, and yet, I feel like the powerful one for touching it. I jerk him, hard and fast like we’d done before, but he stops me after a few strokes.

“Not like that this time. This night is about you, okay?”

“Can it be about us?” The question escapes without thinking.

Describing Chris and I as us would feel foreign on any day before this.

“Sure. I’d like that a lot. But you come first, okay?”

And then he paves a path of kisses down my torso, dragging his tongue and open mouth across my skin. He gives each of my breasts his thorough attention, kneading my lush skin and sucking my pebbled nipples. Wetness forms between my legs. When he finds his way to my pussy, gently prying my trembling thighs apart for better access, he discovers how truly ready I am. He moans in what sounds like appreciation before devouring parts of me I didn’t know could be consumed. Tender at first, the whisper of his breath over my bare lips. But then his fingers run down my seam, followed by his nose, and lastly his tongue which parts my swollen slit.

“Fuck, I love looking at this pretty pussy,” Chris rasps from between my legs.“You can barely see it.”

“No. But I can taste it,” he says, taking a long lick of me .

Our eyes are adjusting, the glow stick casting enough light to see our bodies bathed in cool light. An icy stir of night air sweeps across my sensitive flesh. Then the coldness is gone, replaced by moist heat. A wave of warmth I know won’t cease until I come washes over me. I grip the feathery sleeping bags, clutch at his hair, hold fast to anything to anchor me as Chris licks me higher and higher. When he slipped a finger inside my soaked pussy, I let go of everything, my hands falling slack at my sides, surrendering to the orgasm that consumes my body. As I come down, he slows his licks then purses his lips around my clit, sucking me softly through the waves of pleasure. When alone, I’ve always felt satisfied from a single orgasm. As Chris removes his mouth and finger, though, yearning rips through me.

“Chris,” I moan, “I want more.”

“You want me to do it again?”

His head sinks back down, fading as he inches further from the blue light.

“No.” I tug at his hair. “I’m ready for you.”

And then he’s over me, corded forearms bracketing my head, one side of his face illuminated, warm brown eyes dark with lust. Urgency overtakes me again when I see his expression and feel the weight of his arousal on my trembling thigh .

“Okay,” he agrees, brushing some hair off my face.

This time when I hear the sound of something tearing open, I know what it is. My heart sings a little at the thought of him preparing everything so carefully before bed. The glow stick in case I was frightened, protection so we won’t have to fumble around. Secretly, I’m sad there will be something between us.

How many times have I pictured this moment? Never did I envision it would be in the middle of a fall forest with a man this searingly hot. With someone who confessed they’re crazy about me. Chris runs a finger along my jaw, down my neck, trailing it lower until he reaches my hip and rolls me away from him so I’m facing my side of the tent. He settles behind me, hard cock pressed against my lower back.

“I can’t believe that I get to do this for you, Anna. To be this for you.”

He plants hot, open-mouthed kisses along my throat. Giving attention to the spot behind my ear that makes me shiver and arch into him. Chris matches the pressure of my hips and when he grinds himself against my ass his heady groan vibrates along my back.

“Jesus,” he swears. “You feel so good and I’m not even inside you yet.”

His words send a jolt of energy to my belly. Every masculine noise I draw out from him winds me up tighter. I’m vaguely aware of him shifting, adjusting his length so that instead of pressing against my tailbone his erection slips between my thighs, nestling next to my slick lips. My breath hitches at the idea of him being so tantalisingly close to filling me.

“Here we go, Annie.”

The way he says it, the words he chose, make me feel like we’re embarking on a journey together, an expedition within the one we’re already on.

“I’m ready.”

The pressure of his head at my entrance is pleasurable. Because I’m so damn wet he has no issue lining himself up perfectly. I tilt my hips, arching my back, and he slowly advances into me inch after inch while I gasp for air.

“Oh, fuck, Anna. Fuck, you feel good.”

“Chris…”

“Is it okay? Are you okay?”

I grin into my miniature pillow at his tenderness.

“It’s...a lot,” I admit, blushing at the statement.

“I know, babe.” He kisses my temple and gives me yet another inch.

Despite the subtle burn as I stretch around him I already want more. I thrust my hips back rhythmically, taking as much of him as I can while he holds still. We’re connected everywhere, from his nose in my hair to our intertwined legs. The restraint he must be exercising is incredible. Once he’s fully seated in me and I’m writhing against him like a desperate woman, his control snaps.

“Have to move now,” he says through gritted teeth.

He withdraws fully and I hate the emptiness. Then he thrusts back in and the long, wicked moan that leaves my throat is barely recognizable. Chris grips my top hip, seemingly fueled by my needy sounds, and increases the pace of his thrusts to a slow pump.

“More, Chris.” I spur him on.

“Annie...it’s your first time, I don’t want to hurt you.”

I turn my head, seeking his mouth, biting his bottom lip hard when I find it in the eerie glow.

“Damn it,” he hisses.

I know I’m about to get what I asked for when he pulls out and rolls me to my stomach, positioning himself behind me with haste. When he’s in me again my mouth pops open at how different, how much deeper he is at this angle.

“Is this what you wanted?”

Some of the sweetness is gone from his voice.

“Yes.”

“You wanted this cock deeper inside you? ”

“Chris!”

Whether it’s the new angle or the lower octave of his voice, I contract around him.

“Does my sweet girl like it deep?”

The idea of being Chris’s girl, his sweet girl, is a delight to my ears and sends another pulse through my pussy. This dirtier-talking version of Chris is doing delicious things to my body. His pace is perfect. Long deep strokes hit spots I’ve never reached before.

“Chris, I’m gonna come,” I cry out in surprise, the orgasm building faster than I thought possible.

He laughs wickedly, “Of course you’re going to come on this cock, Annie. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

It’s the conviction on his tongue that undoes me. Every part of me tightens like a coiled spring.

“The best part about being out here, Anna, is that you can scream as loud as you want while I make you come, and not a single person but me will hear it.”

So I do. I scream out my pleasure and I call out his name. Sending my utter delight through the forest like a fierce gust of wind. His thrusts grow wild and shallow, and I sink into the bedding as he comes long and hard within my walls. An unstoppable smile stretches across my face.