Page 22 of Unconquered
Wrapped tightly in a heavy blanket, Eada stared out the narrow, dirty window at the streets of London.
Drogo had had to make use of his position in William's court to get the small room in which they were quartered.
Everyone else with them had had to make camp outside of the city.
In the past three days, she had rarely seen him.
He slipped into bed late at night, rousing her only enough so that she knew he was there, and then he was gone by the time she woke in the morning.
She missed him and she missed their lovemaking.
The knowledge that her time with Drogo might be coming to an end made these lost moments even harder to bear.
She also hated London, she decided, grimacing at the noises that rose up from the already-crowded streets.
The city was filled with people—Norman, Saxon, and foreign mercenary.
Many of William's army and its followers had had to camp on the outskirts of the city, but they crowded its streets all day and most of the night.
Hundreds of fires kept the air thick with stinging smoke and dimmed the light of the sun.
The roads winding around the closely packed buildings were thick with mud, manure, and human waste.
Rats were everywhere, fat and bold.
At times she had felt a need to escape the confines and ills of Pevensey.
London was a hundred times worse.
Eada knew, however, that what truly soured her mood was the sense she had that Drogo was already pulling away from her.
He had said nothing and done nothing to make her feel that way, yet she could not shake free of the fear.
The war was won.
William was soon to be crowned, and then he would reward his followers, taking from the Saxons to profit the Normans.
Drogo was certain to be favored, and Eada suspected that was the root of all her fears.
Once Drogo had the lands and the riches they would bring him, would he then cast her aside and reach for a bride who could further enrich him? He had still offered her no promises and no words of love, so she had nothing she could use to push aside the fear gripping her heart.
A rap at the door dragged her from her dark thoughts.
She wondered why May, who had come to her every morning, was arriving so early.
Hitching the blanket up so that it would not drag on the floor and trip her, she made her way to the door, smiling over the tiny steps she had to take because of the blanket.
Her smile vanished abruptly when she opened the door.
It took her horrified mind a moment to accept that it was not May she was looking at but Drogo and William, the man who would be crowned king in just a few days.
The soft laughter of Tancred, Unwin, and the two large men escorting William finally pulled her out of her speechless shock.
"To what do I owe this great honor?" she asked, pleased that her voice revealed none of her embarrassment or nervousness.
Drogo grinned.
Eada looked beautifully tousled, her thick, fair hair tumbling over her slim shoulders in a wild, unbrushed cascade of curls.
Little more than her head, her small hands, and her tiny, slippered feet were revealed by the thick blanket she had wrapped around her.
Her lovely face was delicately tinted pink by her blushes.
Only her wide lavender eyes revealed the embarrassment she was feeling.
He suspected he would hear a lot about that later, but the vision before him made the threat of a scolding easy to bear.
A grinning William reached out to gently detach one of her hands from the blanket and kissed the back of it.
His grin widened at the way she hastily moved to hold the blanket closed with only one hand.
Eada found the men's amusement extremely irritating.
The moment he released her hand, she tugged the blanket back up from where it had slipped down off one shoulder.
At least they have now seen the strap of my chemise and know I am not completely naked beneath this blanket, she thought as she struggled not to glare at the man she would soon call her king.
"Lord William has come to take your oath of fealty," Drogo said.
"Now?" she gasped, and then she frowned, suspecting she was the butt of some jest.
"Women do not take oaths of fealty."
"For you, Lord William has decided to make an exception."
Eada suddenly remembered what she had said to William on the shores of Pevensey and she gave him a nervous smile.
"That is most kind of you, my lord."
Drogo was amazed at the grace Eada revealed, despite her strange attire, as she knelt before William, kissed the ring upon his hand, and swore a very pretty, if not completely correct, oath of fealty.
He was relieved to see the look of charmed amusement on William's face, for when William had suggested the visit and asked for the oath, Drogo had not been sure just how serious the man was.
It had made him uneasy to know that William had recalled what Eada had said to him on the day of their landing.
His concern faded as William helped her stand and kissed her hand again.
"Your French is perfect, child," William said.
"Your mother taught you well."
Although Drogo had assured her that William had understood her small deception all those months ago, his mention of it made her nervous.
"My liege," she began, struggling to think of the appropriate words of apology.
"Do not seek my forgiveness.
You have it.
In truth, I understand what you did better than most.
It was but a tiny, harmless rebellion.
It will also give me a tale to tell my wife when she joins me, one she will take great delight in.”
After a few more pleasantries, the men left.
Eada stared at the door before staggering to the bed and collapsing on it.
When she heard the door open again, she groaned.
What more could happen to her? She scowled up at Drogo when he walked to the side of the bed and grinned down at her.
"If I were not so weak with mortification, I would hit you," she said.
Drogo laughed, sat down on the edge of the bed, and brushed a kiss over her mouth.
"I am sorry, cherie, but what could I do? He is my liege lord.
I did try to say that you might still be abed, but William can be a most determined man."
"He did not do this because he mistrusts me, did he? I began to think he was just amused, but I find it hard to know what he thinks or feels."
"He is a difficult man to judge, but do not worry.
There was no dark meaning behind this.
I believe he suddenly remembered what you had said that day in Pevensey and decided he would do this, partly as a jest and partly because he merely felt inclined to."
"I do not believe William forgets anything," she murmured.
"Good.
Then he will not forget your pretty words of loyalty."
"It would have been better if I could have given him those words dressed in my finest, with my hair brushed and my face washed."
Drogo smiled as he stood up and moved to open the chest at the foot of the bed where they stored their clothes.
"I begin to think it was best just as it happened.
The more I consider it, the more I think that William will never forget what happened here, if only because it is a droll tale."
"Well, I am so glad that I could provide him with some amusement." She frowned when he ignored her cross words and held out her soft, grey gown.
"You do not need to tend to me.
May will soon be here."
"No, she will not.
She is helping your mother dress for her wedding to Serle."
Eada sat up slowly and gaped at him.
"My mother has already reached London?"
"She did not have far to travel and decided not to wait until Serle sent for her but began her journey here within days after we left her behind." Drogo pulled her to her feet, tugged off the blanket, and tossed it on the bed.
"And she means to marry Serle right now?"
"Within the hour."
She was so stunned by the news that she blindly allowed Drogo to dress her, brush her hair, and even wash her face.
It was not until they were on his horse and trotting toward the large encampment outside the city that her confusion began to clear.
She easily dismissed the pang of hurt she felt that her mother had gone to Serle first upon her arrival.
If nothing else, Vedette could not know where she and Drogo were.
Other things troubled her, however, such as the speed of the marriage and how her siblings might be feeling about it.
She realized that the talk she had had with her mother when she had found her again had not resolved all her questions.
"There has been no courtship," she said.
"They courted each other twenty years ago," Drogo said.
"And both of them have grown and changed a great deal since then."
"True.
Eada, there are more things that are good about this marriage than bad.
Do not forget that Serle and your mother are not children anymore.
Who would know better what they want or need than they? Also, your mother is a widow in a land that will bear the scars of war for years to come.
Not only has she lost her husband, but her home.
Do you wish her to spend the rest of her days hiding in a nunnery?"
"No, but that does not mean she must do this right now.
Averil and Ethelred should be given time to come to know Serle."
"They will have to do that after the wedding.
Your mother needs the protection of a man.
I know you are aware of Serle's worth even though he is not a rich man and will probably never hold any lands."
"It is not Serle's worth I question.
I like Serle."
"Then your brother and sister will, too.
Even though Serle is surprised that love could survive all the years they have been apart, he does love your mother.
Let that ease your mind.
He will protect her and provide for her and for the children.
Your mother clearly needs and wants that, for she traveled here to find him, not even waiting for him to send for her or help her make the journey."
Eada was still mulling over his words when they halted before Serle's tent.
She dismounted, chuckling at how nervous Serle appeared, but he ceased his pacing and hurried to greet her and Drogo.
She greeted him politely but then went to talk to Averil and Ethelred, who sat with Brun, Godwin, and the increasing number of children May and Ivo were collecting.
"How many do they have now?" Eada asked as she sat on a log next to Brun, her siblings on the ground in front of her.
"By the time we reached London, May and Ivo had taken in nine children.
There are more than that here."
"I believe there are fourteen—if you do not include Welcome and Eric, who stay mostly with Godwin," replied Brun.
"I told Drogo that he had best get his lands and flee to them before he needs to build a castle just for May and Ivo and all the orphans and cast-off babes they have taken in."
"Cast-off babes?"
"They have stepped out in the morning to find babes left in front of their tent.
Three so far.
I believe they are the unwanted spawn of the women who follow the army."
Eada shook her head, saddened by the tale, but only briefly.
May and Ivo would give the babes all the love they would need.
She turned her attention to her siblings and was not surprised to see them constantly looking toward Serle.
"He is a good man," she said, and they both looked at her and flushed with guilt.
"Does it not trouble you that she can wed another so soon after our father's death?" asked Averil, her hurt and confusion trembling in her voice.
"Father has been dead for many months; but, yes, it does, a little.
I will cure myself of that, however, for Mother's sake.
As I rode here, I was torn by many emotions, none of them good; but, I am overcoming them.
This is not the land we once knew and everything is going to be changing.
You cannot go home again.
Some Norman will soon preside over all we had.
Mother needs the protection of a man; she needs a place to live and someone to provide for her.
She is now a Saxon woman alone living in the midst of a huge Norman army.
If she is the wife of a Norman knight, she will be as safe as she can be in such troubled times.
So will you."
"She says she loves him."
"I cannot judge the truth of that; but if she says so, then it must be so.
Come, Averil, she loved and honored our father while he was alive.
What harm is there if she now turns back to a man she loved in her youth?"
"Do you really feel that way?"
After looking deep into her heart, Eada nodded, realizing that talking to Drogo and then her siblings had finally calmed her doubts, hurts, and fears.
"Yes.
And trust me when I say that Serle truly is a good man, kind and honorable.
If you but give him a chance, you can have a good life with him."
"That is what Brun told us," Ethelred said, nodding at Brun.
"Such kind words for a Norman," Eada murmured, smiling at a frowning Brun.
"I speak the truth when I see it." He grinned when she laughed at his petulant tone.
"It is not always easy to say, especially about a Norman.
I still fight with my anger."
"But you can see beyond it, and that is good." She looked back at Averil.
"It is a lesson you should learn."
"I will try," Averil murmured.
"It has to be a better life than the nunnery."
Eada suddenly realized that Averil was not looking at her as she spoke.
Her sister was not looking at Serle either.
When Averil blushed faintly and smiled shyly, she followed the direction of her gaze and nearly gasped.
Averil was exchanging glances with Unwin, who stood at Drogo's side.
Eada turned to look at Brun, who grinned widely, laughter filling his eyes.
"I think she will soon recover from her anger at Normans," Brun drawled.
"It would appear so." She laughed with him.
"And what do you two find so amusing?" Drogo asked as he stepped up next to Eada, but before she could answer, he frowned at all the children crawling and playing in front of Ivo's tents.
"Are there more of them or do I miscount?"
As Brun told Drogo about the latest additions to Ivo's growing family, Eada had to laugh at the look on his face.
"You are going to have to speak to them."
Drogo sighed and then laughed.
"I have.
It does no good.
I think Brun's advice was the best I have heard.
I must try and get my lands and then flee to them."
The mention of the bounty he waited for swept away Eada's good humor, but she managed a smile as he took her by the hand and pulled her to her feet.
"Is it time for the marriage to begin?"
"Yes.
The priest is just arriving," he added as he pointed to the man dismounting in front of Serle's tent.
Taking Ethelred by the hand and signaling Averil to come along, Eada went with Drogo.
Once inside the tent, Eada studied her mother carefully and felt the last of her qualms ease.
Vedette looked every inch the eager-yet-nervous bride.
The reasons to marry so quickly might be ones of necessity, but it was clear to see that she also married for love.
Serle's battered face held the same look of happy anticipation and Eada knew that everything would be fine.
It was not until the feasting was over and she and May were helping Vedette undress that Eada actually had a chance to talk to her mother.
"Did you tell Averil and Ethelred the truth about me?"
"Yes," Vedette replied.
"They felt badly for Old Edith, but that was all.
It was a great deal easier than I had thought it would be.
They think of you no differently than they always have."
"I wondered, for they said nothing to me."
"I believe they simply do not think about it.
Because you share a father, you are still their sister, and that was all they really cared about."
"It would be nice to see things in that simple way again.
I think it is the only thing I miss about being a child."
"Yes," agreed Vedette as she fingered the ribbon laces on the front of her night dress.
"As one ages, everything become so very complicated.
I feel silly in this.
It is but the early afternoon."
"The afternoon of your wedding day," Eada reminded her.
"If you tie the tent closed and do so tightly, you will not even notice.
It is also for the best that we cannot indulge in a full day of feasting, for it would be a sinful waste at this time.
And do not forget that Serle must greet the dawn on the morrow.
If you waited until later, your wedding night would be a short one."
Vedette laughed then quickly grew serious.
"Did Averil and Ethelred talk about how they feel? They did not know if they approved of this, Averil especially."
"They will be fine.
Averil might take a little while to set aside all ill feeling, but I think Ethelred has already.
Brun told him that Serle was a good man, and that seemed to be enough."
Vedette smiled.
"It would be.
Ethelred worships Brun."
"Oh, dear," Eada said with such exaggerated concern that May laughed, but then she saw the confusion and worry on her mother's face.
"I jest, Maman.
Brun is a good man.
Do you think Serle would be training him if he were not? Brun has the wit and the heart to recognize good men even amongst the army that defeated him.
He fought bravely at Hastings and now he will fight bravely for Drogo."
"Ah, yes, Sir Drogo.
I think we should talk about him."
"Another day, Maman.
This is your wedding day.
And, in all honesty, there is nothing more to say.
Nothing has yet changed."
"I will allow you this reprieve, but only for a little while.
The war is over and William will be crowned king in the new year, which is but days away.
There must be some decision made concerning you and Drogo."
"I know.
For now, just pray that, when it comes, it is the one that will make me happy."
Vedette kissed her cheek.
"I will, for I want you to know the happiness I feel right now.
You are worthy of it." She sighed as she glanced nervously toward the tent opening.
"I just wish I were not so old.
There is little chance that I can give Serle a child."
For once Eada was not disturbed by the abrupt arrival of her voices.
She stared at Vedette, unable to think of the woman as anything but her mother; and once the feeling had passed, she smiled.
"You will give Serle two fine sons." She laughed at the look that settled on Vedette's small face.
"You look as if you do not know whether to be pleased or terrified."
"I am pleased that I can give Serle children.
I am sorry, but the fear was because of what you just did." She shivered slightly.
"It was just like Old Edith.
I could almost see her, almost hear her.
Does it not frighten you when that happens?"
"A little.
Less and less each time." She heard Serle cough nervously just outside the tent and hastily kissed her mother's cheek before grabbing May by the hand.
"Be happy, Maman," she said and slipped out of the tent, tugging May along behind her.
To Eada's delight, Drogo had work to do within the camp and she was able to visit with Averil and Ethelred as well as with her other friends.
She took careful note of how often Unwin found an excuse to wander by, looking only at Averil, who readily returned his looks.
May and Ivo surprised her with the news that they had taken advantage of the priest's presence in the camp and gotten married.
She felt sorry that the war had stolen the chance of their having any real celebration; but it was a fleeting regret, for the war had also brought them together and they were both quite content with what they had.
It was not until Drogo collected her to take her back to London that Eada realized she had been using the company of family and friends to stop herself from thinking.
She hated to admit it, for she was happy for her mother and for May, but she was also painfully jealous.
Both of those women had found the happiness they needed, and hers remained out of her reach.
She scowled at Drogo's back as they rode, letting anger conquer her pain and sadness.
He did not even notice how the uncertainty he left her to wallow in was tormenting her.
As long as she welcomed him into her bed, he seemed to think that nothing was wrong.
For one brief moment she considered kicking him out of bed and demanding some answers.
It would solve nothing, she decided quickly.
It could even end what little she shared with him sooner than it needed to end.
The answers he might give her could be the wrong ones, forcing her to leave him.
There was so little time left before those harsh decisions would have to be made that she was willing to wait a little longer.
She dreaded the thought of losing even one day because she had allowed pride to make her impatient.
By the time they returned to their quarters, she had her errant emotions back under control.
Her stomach still full from all the food she had consumed at the wedding, she declined the bread and cheese Drogo offered, undressed, and crawled into bed.
Warm and comfortable beneath the covers, she watched him prepare for bed and decided that he was worth sacrificing some of her pride.
"I miss Unwin's help," Drogo said as he slipped in beside her and tugged her into his arms.
"I am not sure I understood why he needed to stay in camp for a little while longer."
Eada laughed.
"To gaze longingly at my sister." She met his surprised look knowingly.
"Unwin was exchanging glances with Averil?"
"Every time he could find an excuse to walk by."
"She is a little young."
"Thirteen.
She will grow.
That might not matter.
If Unwin's family—"
"Unwin's family had nothing to give him save the armor he wore.
They sent him here hoping he could become more than a mercenary or a monk.
He has already done that, having been knighted by William himself when we arrived in London.
I shall have to have a talk with him, however.
As you have said, Averil is thirteen and will grow, but not for a few years, and I cannot have him neglecting his duties to exchange glances for that long." He grinned when she giggled.
"I saw you talking to Brun.
How does he fare?"
"His limp is gone and a lot of his anger has faded.
He is also truly honored that Serle has offered to train him."
He shook his head.
"I do not even have my lands yet and I have a household larger than most lords have."
"And growing every day," she added, fighting down the pain any mention of his promised lands had begun to cause her.
"So many babes, yet Ivo and May seem to manage them all well.
And even if I can get them secured somewhere before that number is added to, I am sure they will quickly begin to breed their own." He laughed.
"They make a good match.
I was worried that Ivo would spend his days alone because he is slow."
"A man with a heart as full of love and kindness as Ivo's can never be alone."
"True." He pulled her closer, rolling so that she was beneath him.
"I think that is enough talk.
I have not been here to see you awake for too many nights."
"Far too many nights," she agreed and welcomed his kiss, determined to savor as much of their passion as she could before it was torn from her grasp.