Page 21

Chapter 21

Come About

Haley

This must be what a heart attack feels like. My fingers are numb, and my breath catches with each rise of my chest. I’ve never blacked out before—maybe that’s it. I’m blacking out. No, I’m not. How do I tell him?

“Are you okay?” He reaches for me.

I close my eyes and put my hand up. “Give me a second.”

“Of course, take all the time you need.” The heat from his body radiates into me; it cocoons me with his musk. I want to cling to him, snuggle against his chest. Breathe him in. Every time I’ve thought about this conversation, I’ve pushed it out of my head. It’s too painful.

“I like you a lot.” I need to open my eyes.

“I like you too.”

“Right, so...” Rip it off like a Band-Aid. “Over the last months, I’ve developed a relationship with the guys.”

“I see.”

“No, no, you don’t. Like, I’m having sex with all of them. But not sex—it’s more than sex. Well, it is for me and... no, it is for them too.” I think of Dante’s rough whisper to me last night. I open my eyes and look right at Sam. He’s not... well, he’s not reacting, and somehow that makes it worse. I don’t know what I expected him to do. Scream and yell. Throw something like my dad used to do in the last years of my parents’ marriage. But his face is calm and his hands are loose at his sides, no balled fists. And it hits me. “You already knew.”

Now his brow furrows. “Yes.”

My gut hardens. “You could have?—”

“How? How and not make it about them instead of about me and you?”

“You and me?”

“That’s what I said, Haley.”

“You... you’re not mad?”

“Didn’t say that.” He puts his hand back on my face, and I lean into it.

“Oh, right.” And then it hits me. “I’m not choosing.” I try to back out of his touch, but I can’t.

“Life is full of many choices, Haley.”

“I know. But I’m not going to stop being with them. I... I care about them.” I almost said love.

“You can care about a lot of people, Haley. Doesn’t mean you have to sleep with them.” He closes his eyes.

“You think I’m a whore?”

“What? No!” His brow ridge thickens, and his touch goes firm. “I would never think that of you, and I hate that it came out of your mouth. You went through something—something unthinkable—and you made what you will of it. And I would never think less of you. You didn’t make any vow to me. What we had was the start of something—something fantastic—but it was just that, the start. No, Haley, I don’t ever want to hear that word out of your mouth again.” His tone drops deep, teetering on threatening. “And if you think that about yourself, you need to scrub it out of your brain altogether. Understood?”

“Copy,” falls out of my mouth. “I’m not giving them up.”

His eyes dart to my lips. “Copy,” he repeats. Sam moves his hand from the side of my face to the back of my neck, and he pulls me to him. His lips brush mine, just a whisper at first, but then he’s like a starved man. His tongue teases against the seam of my lips, pressing its way into my mouth. My brain turns off. There’s no Sam vs the guys. At this moment, there’s only Sam. There’s only his mouth, his hand trailing down my back, pushing me into his cock. I rise onto my tiptoes, rubbing his hard length where I want it. I want all of him. I’m acting on reflex. Automatically my hands trail around the nape of his neck. His hair has gotten longer; it brushes the rim of his collar. I grip the back of his head, wanting him even closer than he already is. I’m on fire. I’ve stepped onto the highway, and now I’m driving at the speed of traffic. Scratch that—I’m speeding, and I want to be caught.

I’m thinking too hard. Do I want to be caught? What are the guys going to think?

Sam grabs both sides of my head and pulls away. “Haley?” His deep voice fills the wheelhouse. He brushes my hair away from my face again. I’m lost in his eyes. “Darling, are you okay?”

I smirk.

“What?”

“Was that a nickname?” My lips quiver.

He smiles, and then his lips are on mine again. He’s forceful and commanding, just as I remember. My clean panties aren’t clean anymore. I squeeze my legs together tightly. His hands haven’t roamed beyond my neck, and I want him to pull me in closer, feel me, touch me. Pinch me. I need more.

The port-side door creaks open. I’m not going to stop kissing Sam. I’m not going to flinch away from him like I’ve done something wrong. I haven’t. That’s getting easier to remember with each day. I haven’t promised any of them anything. Because... there’s a big part of me that doesn’t believe any of this is real. They’re saying things and doing things they don’t mean. Who could ever be this lucky? Four handsome guys—five. Five.

The door closes, and Sam pulls away. He doesn’t step back, though.

Calvin’s eyes peer over the top of Sam’s head, but I have no idea what he’s thinking.

“Hey Chiefie, Cap.”

“Calvin.” Sam’s tone has dropped.

“Do you have those manuals?” Calvin swings around the wheelhouse. “Right, here they are. I’ll see you downstairs, in the engine room. I’m forming a plan of attack. I’d like your opinion on it.” He nods at Sam, but his eyes are trained on me and my chest freezes. “Oh, whatever Dante is cooking on the grill smells amazing.”

“Lunch,” fumbles out of my mouth.

“I know it’s lunch, Chiefie.” He laughs. “I have no idea what he found to cook, but I’m here for it.”

“Yeah, I wonder too.” Sam doesn’t step away from me. “You mind closing the door? I’ll be downstairs... in a while to see your plan.”

“Sure thing, Sam.” Calvin winks at me. And you’d think that would give me some relief. But I’m on the point of passing out again. The door closes, and I’m not sure what to do.

“Haley? Are you okay? Of course you’re not okay. Fuck.” Sam scowls back at the closed door. “Sit.” He drops into a squat between my legs, and the rest of the blood drains from my head. He grabs a steel water bottle from the table next to his binoculars. “Here, drink some.”

I hold it with two hands and guzzle down some water. Sam hovers above the bottle. The water sloshes around in my gut. It’s like my hormones are inside of a yo-yo today. I hand the bottle back to Sam, and he sinks to the bench next to me.

His head hits the back of the wall. “Damn, Haley. This is confusing to me.” His eyes focus out the front of the Rock Candy at the cliff. “I can’t imagine what it’s doing to you.” He pinches his nose and shakes his head. “I can’t step aside and watch you have a relationship with all of them. Fuck, I should. But I can’t. And I hear you. You’re not going to choose me over them.”

“I’m not choosing them over you, either.” My chest tightens when I realize what I said. Shoot, shoot, shoot. Only I could have five guys one minute and then end up single.

“Yes, you said as much earlier.” He’s not looking at me.

I take his hand. “Are you going to?—”

“Be okay with you... dating four other guys? Honestly, I don’t know. If you’d asked me that three months ago, I would have laughed. Now... now I’m not sure. But if that’s the only way I can have time with you, I’ll try. I’m not saying I’ll be good at it.” He shakes his head. “No, fuck, I know I’m going to suck at it. Green is okay with it?” Sam waves at the door Calvin disappeared out of.

“At first, no. He was super jealous of Easton. But he’s definitely come around.”

“How...”

“How is Calvin not jealous? He and Easton had a bunch of fights?—”

“I can totally see that, but no, how did it start? How did you start being with all of them?”

“I’m not really sure. It... it just happened.” I never thought it would last, actually. I didn’t think about what would happen next. “But I care for them all a lot now. I would never want to hurt any of them.” I put my hand on his chest. “Or you. This whole thing was so organic. I’d hate to... well, tarnish it.”

“I’ll try not to be a killjoy. But that’s kind of my job, normally.”

“Sam, don’t say that.”

“It’s true when you’re in charge. I literally have to steer the ship.”

I smile.

He grips the base of my chin and kisses me. I melt into his lips. Until he pulls back. “How does it work with the guys? Do I have to get on your calendar?”

“Calendar?” Now I’m really laughing. “We don’t have a schedule.”

His eyebrows rise.

“What? It’s just organic. There’s no schedule or tally.” I slap my lips together. “And don’t you start a tally. Because most of them are really competitive, and it might kill me.” I shrug with another laugh.

“I guess that’s one way to go.” He pulls me onto his lap so I’m straddling him.

“What happened with going to talk to Calvin?” I play with the button on his white polo.

“It can wait a few more minutes. I’ve missed you, Haley.” He stresses my name.

“What happened to ‘Darling?’”

He pulls my head back to his again, and this time it’s more than a dizzying kiss. His hands race around my back, down to my legs. His fingers play with the hem of my shirt, and then it’s gone. A large hand cups my breast. Our kiss breaks. “This is pretty. I pictured you in it more than once.” His fingers slide over the lace of my bra.

I playfully slap at his muscular arm. “Sam, you said you didn’t open my bag.”

“I lied. I couldn’t help myself. I missed you too much. Do they know what else is in there?”

“No.” I shake my head. My hair falls around his shoulders. The heat is rising up my neck. “Why did you say you hadn’t looked in it, then?”

“I thought you would want to keep it private.”

“Oh, well, thank you.” I should have just thrown half of them away. I didn’t. But I couldn’t have left them in storage, in a garage where anyone could find them. A garage that’s technically owned by me, but if they think I’m dead? My father would be the one to go through all of my stuff. I’m more than glad I brought the lockbox.

“No, thank you. I can’t wait to try them out on you.”

“They were locked up.”

“I had time. There’s only so many combinations. I used it as a solvable puzzle compared to the mess the boat’s in. There might have been tequila involved too.”

“A drunk Sam? That’s something I want to see.”

“Well, tequila and I are no longer on speaking terms.” He nips at my lips.

“That bad?”

“You have no idea.” He kisses me again.

It feels so normal. Like the radio could crackle with Shayla’s voice asking if I want her to start on cabins or laundry next. I kiss him back.

“Fuck. Right, I really do need to go.” He picks me up and sets me back on the bench, then races out of the room, leaving me with a raging lady boner. Is that a thing? Well, I know how to fix that. I pull on my shirt and make my way down the corridor, past the destroyed main salon to the galley to Dante.