Page 49 of Two’s A Charm

SNAKES AND SNAILS AND PUPPY DOGS’ TAILS

Effie

Was it possible to live the rest of her life in a cave? Because a cave sounded quite pleasant right now. It had worked for the Oracle of Delphi, after all. And most importantly, Bonnie would never follow her into a cave.

Smarting from being made to feel like an outsider, Effie couldn’t get away from Tessa’s potential new shop fast enough.

Unfortunately, the Jeep was so laden with books that she had to drive twenty miles under the speed limit.

It wasn’t out of the question that she’d have to pay for new suspension after all this – or worse, new tyres.

But at least her brakes were in good shape, because when she suddenly slammed her foot down on the pedal, the car jerked to a halt.

‘Did you see that?’ she asked Theo, who was in the passenger seat, half buried under a stack of books and a box of cupcakes. ‘Something moved.’

Theo adjusted the book stack in his lap, peering around to try to catch a glimpse of whatever Effie was talking about. ‘We caught the ghost,’ he reminded her. ‘Well, ghosts.’

They had indeed, although Effie hadn’t quite figured out what to do with them yet.

Perhaps a cat adoption initiative through the library, with proceeds supporting the summer program.

Or maybe when the kittens were big enough, Effie could just move the whole family into the library’s basement area.

Or, and this was the option she was most leaning towards, she could keep them all.

Were five cats too many? Surely not. Besides, the thought of separating them from their mom, Agatha, or from each other, seemed cruel.

Effie knew first-hand just how painful it could be to no longer have your most treasured person around – or even your sister.

A point that had been driven home just now at Tessa’s shop.

Effie’s social circle had never been heavily populated, and now it seemed that Theo was the only one left in it.

Although Tessa had been right that Effie had invited her to the ridealong last minute.

But still, Tessa could have texted her when she was done with yoga!

This was all Bonnie’s fault. She’d clearly been getting in Tessa’s ear.

‘There! There it is again!’ Effie exclaimed, grateful for the distraction from her woes.

It wasn’t a ghost, or a cat. A terrier with eye patches and a brown spot on his back was running in cheerful zigzags all down the street.

His pink tongue lolled as he merrily cocked his leg on a fire hydrant, a mailbox, and a rubbish bin awaiting pickup.

Sniffing at something near the bin, he flopped over on his back and proceeded to roll in it.

It wasn’t even Pickles, the neighbourhood’s usual escapee. Effie knew this because Pickles was on a lake vacation with his owners (she’d learned as much when her efforts to retrieve their overdue books had been met with a gone fishing sign).

‘There’s another one.’ Theo pointed at a fat corgi who was happily lying in a triangle of sun, his head atop a freshly delivered newspaper.

‘A third.’ Effie nodded at a golden retriever balanced on its hind legs as it tried to coax a squirrel down from one of the massive oaks that lined the road.

There were at least ten, Effie saw, glancing around at the furry faces universally delighted at their new-found freedom – there was plenty of butt-sniffing and lawn-digging and shoe-chewing going on.

The dogs all wore distinctive purple collars: collars that Effie had seen on the ever-changing lock screen of one of her most dedicated library patrons.

‘They’re Bowow’s,’ she said in realization. ‘How did they get out?’

‘Maybe there’s a hole in her fence or something,’ suggested Theo. ‘But we should round them up before one of them gets hurt. Let’s do the corgi first. He’s definitely the slowest.’

He climbed out of the Jeep, gently approaching the fat-butted corgi, who had rolled over and was baring his fuzzy belly to the clear autumnal sky.

The dog’s nubby tail wagged as Theo knelt to give him some belly scratches.

Looping his hands gently around the corgi’s ample girth, he picked it up, grunting a little.

‘Surprisingly solid,’ he said, holding the baffled dog against his shoulder. ‘Now what?’

Thankfully Tessa always kept a few spare leashes in Effie’s Jeep just in case an emergency dog-walking opportunity popped up.

Effie dug around in the side-door compartments – ugh, where were they?

Checking that Theo was distracted by the corgi (he was still muttering to himself about its heft), she used her magic to pinpoint the leashes. Under the passenger seat. Of course.

Leashes in hand, she hurried over to Theo, clipping one of the leashes to the corgi’s collar.

Meanwhile, the terrier had approached and was running circles around them, barking like this whole situation was a grand game.

‘That one’s trouble,’ said Theo with a chuckle. ‘I like him.’

‘We’ll bribe the others with the baked goods,’ decided Effie. ‘But no chocolate, I promise.’

She grabbed a paper plate of angel cake and waggled it, wafting her hand to spread the scent of the food. The golden retriever perked up, lumbering over with curiosity in its eyes.

‘Gotcha,’ said Theo, clipping a leash on the dog and stroking its soft head. ‘There’s a good boy.’

Using a combination of cake bribes, whispered invitations and (when Theo wasn’t looking) the odd sparkle of magic, they slowly rounded up the others, using Theo’s belt and Effie’s purse strap as emergency leashes when Tessa’s leash collection ran low.

In true terrier form, the patch-eyed dog remained elusive, darting back every time Effie or Theo tried to catch him. But he remained close by, happily barking up a storm.

‘Now what?’ said Theo, who was being pulled in all directions by the dogs, like a balloon seller on a windy day.

‘They’re not going to fit in the Jeep,’ said Effie. ‘Well, maybe that little guy.’

The terrier ruffed joyfully.

‘Why don’t you let him ride with you, and I’ll follow on foot,’ said Theo.

‘Deal,’ said Effie. She tempted the terrier inside the Jeep with the promise of even more baked goods. He climbed on her lap, poking his head out the window and barking the entire way as the car crawled down to Bowow’s, Theo and his profusion of dogs following after them.

Watching him in her mirrors, Effie couldn’t help but laugh. This was all so silly, and she was loving every minute of it. The awkward situation with Tessa and Bonnie earlier had all but slipped from her mind.

‘Bowow’s house is that one,’ she called out the window, pointing at an enormous manor of a place with a wrought-iron fence decorated with gilded dog medallions.

The house was a gorgeous red-brick estate with decorative masonry and wraparound verandas, on which Bowow’s extensive canine family napped on sunny days.

When they weren’t running around the streets.

She pulled over, waiting for Theo to catch up.

‘Wow, she’s committed to the whole dog thing, isn’t she,’ marvelled Theo, taking in the dog statues dotted around the ample lawns.

Effie’s favourite was the fountain sculpted to show three dogs playing, with the top one leaping for a frisbee.

In the summer, Bowow would have the water on, and the frisbee would spurt water from all directions back into the base of the fountain.

‘Truly. I was the notary on her name change.’

‘Really?’ Theo blinked in surprise.

Effie laughed. ‘No. My goodness. Come on – let’s get these poor dogs home.’

She turned the Jeep into the driveway, preparing to type Bowow’s gate code into the keypad (the birth year of her favourite romance cover-model). But there was no need, as the gate was wide open.

‘I think I see the problem.’ Theo grimaced. Then he turned his attention back to the dogs, patting them in turn as they clamoured for his affection.

Maybe there was something wrong with the gate mechanism.

Effie couldn’t imagine Bowow leaving the gate open, not with all of her pups running around.

She was the kind of person who double-checked everything: whether she’d turned the stove off, the front door locks, the prognostications of her horoscope.

They hammered on the door for what felt like hours until Bowow answered, clad in Dalmatian robes that she was very hasty to explain were not from real Dalmatians.

‘Do you know what time— Oh!’ Her tune changed immediately when she realized that the duo had come bearing a veritable army of dogs on leashes. ‘Are you volunteering to walk them?’

‘They were running about all over the place,’ said Effie. (The unleashed terrier still was, in fact.) ‘I think your gate is broken.’

Bowow’s brow furrowed as she stooped to hug her dogs. ‘It can’t be. I had it serviced just last month. And I definitely...’ She squinted over at the gate. ‘I definitely think I closed it.’

‘I think they’re all accounted for,’ said Effie. ‘We didn’t see anyone else running around.’

Kneeling, Bowow patted the velvety heads of her dogs, murmuring gentle words to them in a tone that sounded to Effie almost like a spell.

Because that was what so many spells were, something spoken with heartfelt intent, a cadence with intonation that meant something.

There were whole phrases in the language that changed the state of the world – pronouncing two people married, for example – and others that reshaped or reinvigorated emotion, feeling.

‘Maybe I’ve bitten off more than I can chew, taking in all these extras,’ said Bowow with a sigh. ‘I haven’t been feeling myself these past few weeks.’

Effie understood how that went. Everything had felt topsy-turvy of late, although she couldn’t pinpoint why.

‘I think we all just need to do less,’ she said gently.

‘Maybe I can help with that,’ said Theo, with one of his easy smiles. Still scratching the terrier’s head, he turned to Bowow. ‘Do you think I might be able to foster this one?’

Effie almost dropped the leash she was holding. All right, so he hadn’t said adopt, just foster, but surely that meant Theo had plans to stick around, at least in the short term. Which meant that he might not be taking the job in the city?

The little terrier panted away, giving the cutest doggy smile imaginable. Then he nudged Theo’s leg, as if to say this is him. This is my human .

Bowow beamed. ‘Bernard? I think you might not have a choice.’