Page 34 of Two’s A Charm

He disappeared out the side gate, not bothering to hold it for the little family. Instead, Beatrice propped open the gate as Todd tried to angle the wagon with its sleeping passenger through the gate, punching the air when at last he succeeded.

‘You made it!’ said Bonnie, adjusting her grip on her heavy tray. ‘Come on in and I’ll get you hooked up.’

Todd eyed the bar door, and then the wagon. ‘I’ll pull up out here. I trust Beatrice to order for me. Just no J?gerbombs.’

Ditching Todd with alacrity, Beatrice hurried after Bonnie.

‘Wow,’ she said as she crossed the threshold into the bar area.

‘It’s so weird existing as an individual human again.

You don’t realize the freedom of just walking through a doorway until you’ve been trying to do it with a wagon for two straight years.

Ooh, and you have darts! And pinball! And is that a magician? ’

Bonnie glanced over at Terrance swearing at his deck of cards. Around him, a group of his friends heckled him for his inability to remember where the joker in the pack was.

‘After the queen of spades, you ding-dong!’ crowed a girl wearing three layers of fishnet tights, all in different colours.

‘You’re going to have to pick a different audition talent,’ added a guy in a 90s band T-shirt. He definitely did not realize he was wearing a T-shirt from a band from the 90s.

‘That’s just Terrance,’ said Bonnie. ‘He’s made it his life’s work to memorize a pack of playing cards.’

‘Pfft,’ said Beatrice. ‘How hard could that be? I’ve memorized every infant milestone all the way up to age five.

Now that’s dedication. What’s that purple drink everyone’s got?

I’ll take one of those. Assuming they’re strong.

Really strong. Because I’m not driving, or even pushing the wagon.

That’s Todd’s job right now. I carried the baby, I nursed the baby, and now I’m drinking for one. ’

Outside, little Olivia whined. Bonnie could hear Todd settling her, bribing her with smuggled-in goldfish crackers.

‘Sure. One Memory Lane coming up,’ she said brightly. ‘I’ll mix you a fresh one, extra strong. And if you want to get a little something for your future home, bring this coaster over to Behind the Curtain for a discount.’

Bonnie topped the drink with a garnish of wildflowers, then popped it on one of Uncle Oswald’s coasters. She slid the order over to Beatrice, who wasted no time in taking a sip.

‘Oh, that’s good,’ Beatrice said, eyes widening. ‘And yes to the discount. I’ll take a brownie as well. No, make it two.’

Bonnie plated up the brownies, popping them on a tray for easy carrying. Although this was apparently unnecessary, because Beatrice was halfway through one of them before she made it outside. Apparently juggling was a skill that new moms became proficient at very fast.

Bonnie was popping a stack of glasses into the dishwasher – the one thing about all these purple drinks was that it took an extra cycle to get the glassware clean – when Hannah hurried up.

‘Well, look who the cat dragged in.’ Bonnie slammed the dishwasher drawer closed for emphasis.

‘Oh my god, Bonnie. Thank you so much for today.’ Hannah made prayer hands and pointed them in Bonnie’s direction. Her ponytail swung over her shoulder. Bonnie blinked. Hannah was vehemently against ponytails, which she believed were slovenly and lazy.

‘I don’t know what happened, I swear. I got my calendars mixed up, or the reminders on my phone wrong, or something . Did the clocks go back? Because that has never happened to me before.’

Hannah was right. Hannah’s mom had trained her from an early age to create a colour-coded schedule together with a series of alerts, alarms and backups to ensure that nothing slipped by her.

Hannah had somehow graduated with perfect grades while also being on three different sports teams, the head of yearbook club and vice school captain.

(Bonnie, of course, had been school captain.)

‘You blew me off like...like I was Effie !’ snapped Bonnie, with an extra dishwasher slam for good measure.

‘I’m so sorry. I’m the worst. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.’ Hannah made a pleading gesture, her huge eyes begging for forgiveness.

Bonnie glowered, then sighed. She knew Hannah had a lot going on with her dad. And besides, she was starting to run low on friends.

‘It’s fine, babe,’ she said finally. And extremely charitably, given that Bonnie was not one to be stood up. ‘You had five groups show up, with one maybe interested in putting in an offer. They’re out there.’

Bonnie indicated the young family outside.

Hannah just about squealed with joy. ‘God, thank you so much. I’m going to go talk to them. Can I get some of those brownies to ply them with?’

‘They’re already hooked up,’ said Bonnie. ‘But I have some chocolate twists. And a bottle of prosecco if you think that’ll help your case.’

‘Done.’

Bonnie popped the spoils into a gift basket, and Hannah trotted off to her prospective clients.

Momentarily, she was back, still clutching the gift basket.

‘ Rude! ’ she said, popping open the prosecco bottle and pouring herself a drink. ‘Can you believe this! I went up to them, introduced myself and explained about the situation today, how I had a scheduling conflict or whatever, and they just looked at me like I was an alien.’

Weird. They’d seemed so into the house, and just now Beatrice had seemed excited about buying one of Oswald’s decorative knickknacks for it.

‘Maybe because you were out of context,’ offered Bonnie. ‘Like, when third-grade me saw Mrs Ferguson at the grocery store and realized that teachers exist outside the classroom?’

Hannah flicked her hair in the manner of someone preparing to make a pronouncement. ‘Oh no, it gets worse. I mentioned the house, and they made out like they had no idea what I was talking about.’

All right, now that was rude. Maybe she’d been wrong about Beatrice and Todd’s interest in the house. Perhaps they’d just been play-acting at home ownership. Or they preferred ultra-modern builds but were being polite. Still, faking amnesia wasn’t really the way to go about the whole situation.

‘Sorry, babe,’ she said. ‘Although honestly, I think they’re just exhausted. Maybe buying a house is too much for them to deal with right now.’

Hannah polished off her drink, then intercepted the glass of Memory Lane that Bonnie had just poured.

‘Sorry, I need it more than you,’ Hannah told the bald-headed guy who’d been about to grab the drink.

The guy shook his head good-naturedly. ‘Pour me another? I’ll cover both.’

‘Thanks,’ Hannah said flirtatiously. Hannah was a graduate of the Bonnie Chalmers School of Seduction, and knew how to turn on the charm when it meant she’d get something from it.

‘Maybe I could get your—’ began the guy hopefully, but Hannah had her phone up to her ear, listening to her voicemails over the thud of Bonnie’s playlist.

‘Well, some investor guy left a message about the Dorothy House, so I guess that’s how it’s going to go. Welcome to the neighbourhood, short-term renters. Don’t forget to take a few selfies, scare the ducks and grab a commemorative moon-charged water-fountain ornament at Uncle Oswald’s.’

Bonnie slid forward one of Uncle Oswald’s agate coasters. If Beatrice wasn’t going to use it, Hannah might as well. ‘Twenty per cent discount with one of these.’

Hannah looked impressed. ‘Really? Well, in that case, I’m off to do some shopping. My crystals aren’t going to charge themselves.’