Page 13

Clay

The slam of the door echoed through my apartment. How the hell had things escalated so fast? The last thing I wanted her to do was leave. What I wanted was to pull her into my arms and assure her I’d be there every step of the way, regardless of whose baby it was. Instead, I’d blown that because I’d not been able to take a step back and look at the situation rationally.

It wasn’t just the news of a baby that had me feeling off. I’d felt off ever since our first night together. I’d not been able to concentrate on much of anything without the thought of her invading my mind. I’d not understood the excitement I’d felt seeing her in Vermont that weekend either, or how I felt seeing her earlier tonight after I’d arrived for dinner. These feelings weren’t something I was used to.

I’d also struggled with the events from the night I’d run into Sonya, the only woman I’d gone back to time and time again. She lived in Vancouver, so when I needed to blow off steam, she was only a phone call away. It didn’t happen often, but when it had, it had always been a good time. Only this time, when I ran into her, something was different. She did absolutely nothing for me. Even her rubbing against me that night, dancing, normally would have made me hard as a damn rock, but nothing. It was as if my cock had broken.

After that, I started wondering if I’d ever be okay again. Then I’d remembered Dylan talking about how he’d felt after he and Aurora had slept together for the first time. They’d shared a one-night stand while on vacation in Mexico, and he’d freaking kicked himself for almost an entire year for not getting her number. All he kept telling us was that no other woman could ever compare to how he’d felt that night with her.

I’d thought he was being ridiculous. I mean, sex was sex, wasn’t it? It was all good. Then, when he’d admitted not being able to look at or get aroused by another woman, I thought he was crazy. He claimed he was in love with this one-night stand girl. I’d thought there was something wrong with him. We’d even tried fixing him up with some girls, none of which worked. Now, I was wondering about the same thing.

Was I in love with Peyton? Had she really rocked me that hard in bed that I’d wanted to give up other women and, dare I say, settle down? Was this another Dylan-Aurora situation? I wondered. Was it even possible?

What was I doing? All I knew was that right now, there was no way I could let her leave. Not like this, not upset. There was also no way I was letting her take a fucking cab home. She could either come back upstairs with me and talk this shit through or I was driving her home, and we’d revisit this in a couple of days before she returned to Vermont. Come hell or high water, we were going to figure this shit out.

I should have remained calm, I thought as I took off out the door and down to the lobby. The moment the elevator doors opened, I ran out in time to see that Peyton was already in the back of a cab, pulling the door closed. I ran to the main door and opened it, just to watch the cab pull away.

Running my hands through my hair, I took off back upstairs to my condo where I flopped down on the couch and looked out over the city. As peaceful as the night lights were, my mind was screaming. I really needed my boys—at least one of them—so I grabbed my phone and pulled up what I was certain was the last one of our message threads—the one without Knox. This had to stay away from him. I typed feverishly, re-read the message, and then hit sent.

CLAY: I have a hypothetical question for you, jerks. Anyone around?

Before I could close the chat, those little dots bounced around. I’d figured they’d all be in bed, but I should have known better. It seemed one of us was always around when we needed one another.

DYLAN: Shoot

LEVI: Go for it.

LUCAS: What’s up?

I smiled as those three messages came in at almost the same time.

CLAY: What would one of you do if, let’s say, you got a girl pregnant?

DYLAN: Have you forgotten? I already have one, and you already know what I’ve done.

LUCAS: Uh dude, wish that hell on me. I swear…

CLAY: No Dylan I haven’t forgotten, and no Lucas, I’m not wishing it on you. Poor Ella has been through enough, what with marrying you already. I’d never curse that gorgeous girl with something like that.

LUCAS: I’m not sure how to take that? Fellas?

DYLAN: What a dick thing to say…

LEVI: Who are you wishing this on? Better not be me?

CLAY: It’s just a hypothetical question.

LUCAS: I don’t think so. Who got someone knocked up? Levi, you’ve been seeing some chick, is it you?

LEVI: Nope, I always wrap it…god how did I even get pulled into this?

LUCAS: Colton

COLTON: What? I’m single as single can be. In fact, I’m wondering if my dick even still works. It’s been that long.

LUCAS: Is it Knox?? Is Lorelai pregnant??? We can’t have both our therapists off on mat leave at the same time. The team will fall apart. My knee has been acting up again. She’s the only one who knows how to treat it.

CLAY: Any therapist can treat a knee…don’t panic…

KNOX: WHAT the fuck? Don’t you fucks start spreading those types of rumors? Last thing I need is to be pulled into Larson’s office, or Thompkins office…

I glanced at my screen, my heart in my throat, when I saw Knox respond. I thought I’d grabbed the chat we’d started when Lucas was in Vegas. As I scrolled back up the screen, I saw I was wrong. I’d grabbed the wrong fucking chat. Panic filled me as I watched the conversation continue to unfold.

DYLAN: No rumor, just hypothetically guessing who might be pregnant.

KNOX: Pregnant? It’s your woman, dumbass, in case you haven’t noticed.

DYLAN: For the love of god, see what you've started, Clay.

CLAY: I started?

DYLAN: Yeah, it was your hypothetical…

LEVI: Just spill it….Who’d you knock up?

COLTON: Clay, You knocked someone up? Way to go…didn’t they teach you to wrap it before…

DYLAN: Care to share, Harris?

CLAY: I said, HYPOTHETICAL…

KNOX: Is it the girl I heard you with when we were in Vermont?

I swallowed hard as I stared at the screen. He’d heard me with a girl in Vermont? He’d heard me with Peyton? How the hell had he heard us? I seriously wanted to delete this entire set of messages and go back in time, wishing I’d sent nothing. Instead, they were like a shiver of sharks going after a meal. They wanted the goods, and while I’d tried to play it off as a hypothetical question, I should have known they’d all know it was real.

CLAY: Girl in Vermont?

I figured if I played dumb, I’d at least figure out how the hell he’d heard us.

KNOX: One of the guys mentioned he saw a woman enter your room. I’ll admit, at quick glance, he thought it was Peyton, but I know you know better than that. Plus, I’d moved rooms and was put in the room next to yours. FYI, I’m not deaf. Sounded like a hell of a good time though. Just ask Lorelai about our call that night.

DYLAN: WHOA…way too much information that none of us need to know there Evans.

LUCAS: Yeah…didn’t need to know that…

LEVI: Kill me now….

COLTON: Why did I need to read that…my eyes will never unsee those words…

DYLAN: However, Clay, this would explain the shitty games you’ve been playing. Remember how badly I played after I first found out about Aurora being pregnant?

LUCAS: Yeah, you played like shit. Probably exactly how you’ll play in a couple of weeks after the baby is born.

DYLAN: Thanks for that.

LUCAS: Just saying it like it is.

CLAY: I haven’t been playing like shit and seriously, it was hypothetical.

KNOX: Fine, provided I was in a relationship, I’d be excited as fuck. If I wasn’t, I’d probably be getting in touch with my lawyer, you know, to cover my ass from her. She could take all my damn money for support, hypothetically speaking, of course.

COLTON: Same

LUCAS: So, if I were to get someone pregnant, it would be Ella, so I have no worries.

DYLAN: Already there, and you already know what I did.

LEVI: Hypothetically, I’d be finding some new friends. The advice in here sucks.

KNOX: That too…but seriously, if you need to get a lawyer.

COLTON: Who was the broad you shacked up with that night?

LEVI: Yeah?

LUCAS: It really looked like Peyton from far away…

KNOX: Drop that now, Lucas. It’s my sister you’re talking about and besides, she already told me it wasn’t her.

I squirmed at the last comment. He’d asked his sister. Jesus, I could only imagine how she must have felt during that interrogation, because I knew Knox well enough to know it wouldn’t just be a question. It would also come with a lecture.

CLAY: Didn’t catch her name and I don’t need a fucking lawyer. Jesus, it was a hypothetical.

I placed my phone on the table and ran my fingers through my hair. They’d been absolutely no help. All I’d wanted was an answer to my question, I thought to myself as my phone continued to ping with unread messages.

Finally, I reached for my phone, going to turn the ringer off, when I glanced at the screen. There was a private message from Dylan there while the conversation between the guys continued.

DYLAN: Is everything okay? Are you in some trouble? It will stay between us.

I knew without a doubt he’d keep it between us, but I was still a little hesitant to say anything. There normally wasn’t anything I wouldn’t tell these guys. This time, it was only different because of who the girl was. Otherwise, it wouldn’t have been a hypothetical question at all and I’d have spilled it all.

CLAY: You’re sure?

DYLAN: I’ve spilled nothing you’ve ever told me. No reason to start now.

CLAY: It can’t leave this chat, I’m serious. I regret even starting the other chat. It was a stupid move on my part.

DYLAN: That’s fine. It will stay between us and won’t be revealed unless you do it yourself.

CLAY: It’s Peyton.

As I hit enter, I closed my eyes, instantly regretting telling him. I pinched the bridge of my nose, waiting for a reply.

DYLAN: Peyton?

DYLAN: …As in Evans?

CLAY: Yep.

DYLAN: Holllleeeee… fuck… me….

DYLAN: Please, for the love of your actual hockey stick, tell me this is hypothetical????

CLAY: No, this… is…real life…

DYLAN: *whistles*

CLAY: I know…I’m a walking dead man

DYLAN: you’re certain?

CLAY: Yep…she told me tonight

DYLAN: How? When?

CLAY: Started six weeks ago…I ran into her at The Tilted Flask the night I was supposed to meet up with the guys. Some creep was hitting on her, so I stepped in. One thing led to another…

DYLAN: My god, no wonder you were quiet tonight.

CLAY: I didn’t know what else to do. It’s bad enough I’ve been so off my game because of her.

DYLAN: Are you saying all the shitty playing has been because of her?

CLAY: Yes, since the first night I’ve not been able to get her off my mind.

DYLAN: So before you got the news?

CLAY: Yep…

DYLAN: Okay…don’t panic. Leave it with me, let me sleep on it.

CLAY: Please, don’t mention this to Aurora. I’m sure Lorelai will tell her in time.

DYLAN: Lorelai knows?

CLAY: Yep…and Reese…

DYLAN: and Knox doesn’t?

CLAY: I’m still alive…

DYLAN: Don’t worry. She owns me, but what you and I talked about here will never be disclosed and the conversation will be deleted from my phone once the conversation is done. Best to be safe.

CLAY: Thanks man…please come up with something…

DYLAN: One question: do you want to be involved? That might change how I answer your question.

CLAY: I don’t know if she even wants me to be a part of anything. Peyton came over here tonight and we tried to talk things through, but I acted like an ass. She’s scared and feels very alone…and before I knew it everything went to shit, and she left.

CLAY: Honestly, I’d like to be involved very much but only if she wants me to be.

DYLAN: So you have a thing for her…

CLAY: More than a thing…to be honest, I’ve never felt this way about a woman before…

DYLAN: When did that happen?

CLAY: The first night I spent with her…she blew my fucking mind…

DYLAN: I get it, no need to explain that to me.

CLAY: Didn’t think so.

DYLAN: I’m gonna get some sleep, come up with an answer for you and take it from there

CLAY: Thanks man.

DYLAN: You’re welcome. Oh, and don’t worry, we’ll get it worked out.

CLAY: Thanks, I knew I could count on one of you…

DYLAN: Always.

I sat there for a moment, feeling a little better than I had a few moments ago. I got up, shut the lights off, and wandered down the hall to my bedroom. I threw my phone on the charger and then crawled into bed.

I lay there, staring at the ceiling. The only thing on my mind right now was Peyton. God, I wished I’d kept a level head earlier. Instead of her being back in her room alone at Knox and Lorelai’s, she could have been here in my bed, wrapped in my arms, where she should be anyway.

“Fuck it,” I muttered to myself and reached for my phone.

I quickly opened the chat she and I had going between the two of us.

CLAY: Just so you know, if the baby is mine, I will be there with you every single step of the way. You aren’t alone in this and I’m only going to tell you that once. I’m also going to say that tonight, I was an idiot. I’m sorry.

The moment I hit send, I felt a little better. At least she now knew how I felt. It would be up to her what she did with that information.

I placed my phone back down on the charger, placed my hands behind my head, and closed my eyes. Morning came early, practice came earlier and so did tomorrow night’s game. One that was far too important for the team to lose.