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Chapter One

Peyton - Two Months Earlier

My fucking brother! Sorry half-brother! Anger boiled inside of me. Who the fuck did he think he was? Holding me while mall security was going to be breathing down my neck in a matter of seconds. I knew I should have just taken off. It had just shocked me so much when the security system had gone off. Figures the first time I take something I get caught. Then Knox, in all his mighty glory, had to look over in my direction.

Mom was so upset as the security guards searched me. She was crying, making a huge scene, which somehow made matters much worse. It was only fifty dollars’ worth of makeup. Not that big of a deal, and honestly, she should have been happy I hadn’t bothered her for the money. Things were tight enough already, and every time I’d asked her for anything, I got the lecture about needing to be more responsible.

Knox stood there, arms crossed against his chest, trying to calm our mother down. All the while, he looked at me with disappointment. I could still see the piercing gaze now as I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling.

I’d locked myself in my bedroom after we’d got home, refused to have dinner, and told them both to leave me alone. It was finally quiet now, but for the longest time, all I could hear was our mother crying while Knox voiced his disappointment.

I’d heard it all. Neither of them were proud of me. I knew I shouldn’t have come on this trip. Tor had warned me. He’d told me they were trying to get me away from him, and he’d apparently been right.

I grabbed my phone off the nightstand, opening up a message to Tor.

Peyton: Miss you.

I stared at the screen of my phone, waiting for a sign that he was there, only there was nothing. Then I remembered he was going to a concert with a bunch of his friends. It was when I opened up one of my social media apps that I learned why he wasn’t messaging me back.

Anger flooded me, when my phone pinged with a message from my best friend Elise. She was at the same concert and sent me a photo, only it wasn’t of the band as I hoped it would be. Instead, I blew up the fuzzy photo on my phone. I immediately saw what I didn’t want to think was true. It was a picture of Tor and Leela, a girl who hung around his friends. He had her pressed up against the interior brick wall of the building kissing her.

I had a feeling Leela was bad news. I didn’t know why I was so upset; it wasn’t as if this was the first time I’d caught Tor cheating, and I knew it wouldn’t be the last. Yet tears still flooded my eyes. I stared at the picture, hit forward, and sent it directly to Tor with the letters WTF in the message, and hit send.

I got up off the bed and paced my room. The house was quiet. While Mom had gone to bed after she’d calmed down and had dinner, Knox had stayed up for a bit, watching a movie while I surfed on my phone, but he kept at me, asking why I felt the need to shoplift when all I had to do was ask for the money.

He did not know what things had been like. I worked. I picked up extra shifts when I could and helped with the bills and groceries since Mom lost her job. I made a decent wage for part-time while I was in school.

The problem wasn’t that I couldn’t afford what I wanted to buy. It was Tor. Since he didn’t work, he’d started taking money from me. It started with a few dollars here or there and then turned into larger amounts. Just recently, he told me he was in some trouble and needed money, so I cashed in what little savings I had, which left me with nothing, and he was right there the last few paydays taking whatever money I didn’t need.

The things I’d taken, I needed, but since I had no way to pay for them and I didn’t want to stress Mom out by asking her for the money, I just took them. I wasn’t proud of what I’d done. It was wrong on every level, and I knew it, but I felt I had little choice. Tor had bled me dry, and now, after seeing that picture of him and Leela, I knew he didn’t love me as he claimed.

I needed to cut him loose, and I knew that by leaving him it would solve so many problems. I’d have money again, after I built things back up. I’d stop having trouble in school because he was the driving force behind why I’d gotten myself kicked out.

I opened the bedroom door a crack and listened. The house was dark. The only light in the hall came from under the door to Knox’s room. I could hear him quietly talking, no doubt to his new girlfriend Lorelai, whom we were supposed to meet tonight, until my actions had messed that up as well.

I needed to get out of here.

I grabbed my sweater and tiptoed down the hall while opening up my maps application. I searched the area for some little bar to go to, finally finding a place called The Tilted Flask within walking distance from here. I checked my emergency spot in my purse to find a twenty tucked inside and figured I could at least buy myself one drink. It would be enough to pull me away from my troubles or allow me some space, because here, I felt like I was suffocating.

Music blared inside the bar as the bartender slid a drink in front of me.

“Cheers.”

“Cheers.” I smiled and clinked my glass against his, taking a sip. “Thanks for the drink.”

“No problem, Peyton.”

I’d walked into The Tilted Flask and took a seat at the bar. Moments later, Clay Harris walked through the door. I’d met him last summer when Mom and I had come out for their end-of-season celebration. He played with the Dominators for the past five years and was their star goalie. We’d hit it off last summer, and when he walked in tonight, he noticed me immediately, came over, sat down and offered to buy me a drink.

“What brings you in here?” he questioned.

“My brother, my boyfriend…shoplifting… You?”

“Wow, okay, sounds like there may be a story there. I just felt like getting out and having a couple of drinks. Care to tell me what happened?” he asked.

I opened the image on my phone, looked at it, and then placed my phone down on the bar top, showing it to him.

“Two people kissing… I can see why that would upset you.” Clay smiled.

“That part doesn’t upset me. The guy in the picture is my boyfriend. As you can tell, it’s not me he is kissing. Maybe my brother was right when he told me I should end things with him.”

Clay chuckled and thanked the bartender as he slid two beers and two shots down in front of us.

“I’d say your brother is probably right on that one. It doesn’t appear to me he knows what he has in front of him or what he is giving up,” Clay said, looking into my eyes.

I shrugged, not really knowing what to say to that.

Clay picked up his shot and nodded at mine. I picked it up, and he looked at me. “Cheers to breaking up with shitty guys who don’t know what they are losing.” He clinked his shot glass against mine before we both downed them.

I wiped my mouth and sat back against my chair.

“So, what else?”

“Knox…” I muttered.

Clay chuckled. “Well, there is a bunch I could say about your brother, but I won’t. What did he do?”

“Well, I’m not proud of what happened today, just so you know. It’s not like I do this stuff all the time. It was the first time that I’d even thought about doing it, but I got caught shoplifting.”

Clay nodded, taking a drink of his beer.

“I see. Well, we all do stupid ass shit sometimes. Most of them turn out to be mistakes, which I’m guessing is how you are feeling, but the main thing is we learn from them. What does your brother have to do about that?”

I let out a sigh. “Well, he acted all perfect, forcing me to face security and then the police.”

Clay nodded. “Do you think maybe he was trying to help you, not hurt you by doing that?”

I thought for a moment. “Why do you need to make that make so much sense?”

“Well, because if I had a sister who was getting herself into trouble, I’d probably do the same, but not with any ill will behind it. It would be because I love her, and I don’t want to see her go down a destructive path.” He winked.

I knew deep down that Knox was only trying to do what was right for me. He was trying to be a male role model in my life that I failed to have after my father left. Neither of us had grown up with a father, and I knew Knox wanted me to have a positive male figure in my life.

“Ugh, you’re so right.”

“Your brother. His bark is worse than his bite,” Clay said, leaning over and bumping me with his shoulder. “He sometimes doesn’t know how to show it, but he cares.”

“I know. You know, at one point he used to be my best friend, someone I could tell anything to, and then suddenly one day that changed. I don’t know why it changed, but it did, and it hurts that I can’t go to him when I need him.”

“Maybe you should try talking to him and not hiding things from him.” Clay winked.

Clay signalled to the bartender and held two fingers up. Immediately, the bartender came over and placed two more shots down in front of us.

“Cheers to overprotective brothers,” he said, clinking his glass to mine, and we both tipped our heads back, drinking down the shot.

I smiled at Clay, his blue eyes dancing as he looked at me and smiled.

“Now, about this boyfriend…”

“What about him?” I asked, starting to feel the effects of the shots of alcohol.

“Well, what you just showed me didn’t even deserve you to message him. It deserves nothing more than for you never to talk to him again. So, when you get home, what are you going to do?” Clay asked.

I sat there, thinking about the image I’d seen, anger and hurt flooding me.

“I think the first thing I’m going to do is end things with him.”

“You think, or you know?” he asked, grabbing my phone and opening the picture I’d shown him. He placed it down in front of me and tapped the screen. “Do you think this will ever stop?”

I shook my head, tears clouding my vision.

“No tears. You know the truth. It’s better than never knowing,” he said, nudging my chin with his thumb.

“That’s true,” I said, deleting the photo from my phone and shoving it into my pocket.

“You know, I think it’s time for another shot. Then I think we should go out on to the dance floor and dance the night away. What do you say?” Clay asked, signalling the bartender again for two more shots.

I rested my head against Clay’s shoulder as the Uber he’d called drove us back to Knox’s place, finally coming to a stop in his driveway.

I heard Clay whisper my name and felt his hand on my thigh, gently squeezing my leg to get my attention.

“Huh?”

“You’re home.” Clay said quietly.

I blinked, trying to clear the fuzziness from my eyes. I’d had so much fun tonight. We’d talked, we’d danced, and we’d both drank a lot.

“That was fast,” I murmured, trying to undo my seatbelt.

“Here, let me,” Clay said, leaning forward a bit and undoing my seatbelt. He leaned across me, letting the belt gently go, and met my eyes. He stared at me and then brought his hand up and brushed a strand of hair back that was in my face.

“You know, I never really realized just how pretty you are,” he whispered.

His eyes were glass blue against his dark hair, and as he sat there, looking into my eyes with his hand on my cheek, I wanted nothing more than to feel his lips against mine.

Anticipation filled me as he slowly leaned forward and brushed his lips barley against mine.

I pulled back at first, not sure what had just happened, but as I met his eyes, I leaned forward into him, this time my lips brushing against his. Heat flooded my body as he deepened the kiss. Then, as if someone hit him, he pulled back and cleared his throat, looking forward.

“Peyton, I’m…I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that,” he whispered, looking toward the house where we both knew my brother slept.

“Clay, it’s okay…” I said, placing my hand on his arm.

“No, it’s not. Let’s just pretend that this never happened, because honestly, it shouldn’t have happened. It was a moment of weakness on my part. I know better.”

I frowned, wishing for nothing more than to continue this kiss.

“I won’t say anything,” I whispered, placing my hand on his.

“Nor will I because we both know we shouldn’t. Good night, Peyton. Go on inside. I’ll go home and get some rest, knowing that you’re home safe.”

I was confused more than anything, but I tugged on the door handle and opened the door. Climbing out, I was about to shut the door when I heard Clay call my name. I bent down and looked into the back seat.

“If you need anything, don’t be afraid to reach out. I know how your brother can be. I don’t mind if you need to talk.” He winked, handing me his card. “Good night, Peyton.”

“Night, Clay,” I whispered and then shut the door.

I wandered up to the front door and slid my key in the lock, then I tiptoed down the hall, careful not to make too much noise as I almost fell over. I entered my bedroom, flopping down on my bed. Minutes later, still dressed, I fell asleep and dreamt of an amazing kiss.