Page 42 of Try Me

“Like I said, you asked. Pay attention because you’re about to die again.” He flicked a finger toward the screen.

“Shit.” I tossed aside the controller. “I’m done.”

“Big baby.”

“I’m off my game tonight, clearly.” I stretched out on the couch. “Let me ask you a question.”

“No, I won’t be your Valentine.”

“It’s July.”

“I’m hot property.”

“You just said you couldn’t get laid.” I threw my controller at him, and he ducked away with a laugh.

“I lie. Ask away.”

“Would a guy be tempted to ask out another guy, even if he wasn’t sure the guy would be into it and also if…if he didn’t know the guy that well?”

Jesse turned fully toward me, pulling his knees up close to his body. His gaze moved over me so keenly that my instinct was to shrink away from the scrutiny. Then he gave a little laugh. “What the hell is even happening here? First you’re asking who did who wrong questions, now you’re asking me…wait, did a guy ask you out? Did Chet ask you out? Did we slip into a different dimension? Holy shit!” Jesse snapped the waistband of his shorts out and peered down at his crotch. “Okay, nope, still in the same dimension.”

“I’m asking a hypothetical question.” I had to glare at him in order not to crack up, but he smiled musingly, like he could see through it.

“Okay, here’s the deal. The answer is…maybe. But he’d probably do it in a roundabout way if he wasn’t sure about the other guy. Also, just my opinion, but that’s a lot of effort and/or risk when it’s actually pretty easy for a guy to get laid by another guy. There are apps, there’s eye contact, there’s…a lot of fucking ways to avoid uncertainty. I don’t know a lot of guys who’d risk it, honestly, unless they have a straight-boy fetish. So.” Jesse narrowed his eyes at me. “Who pinged your gaydar?”

I spluttered. “My…no, I don’t think I have gaydar, exactly.”

“Okay, just call it radar then. Everyone has it, I think we’re just initially programmed to think there’s only one setting, and some people figure out there’s more early on and some people figure it out later. And some people really don’t have a setting at all. But regardless of what you’re actually into, most people can tell when a person is into them. All my opinion, but…” His shoulder hiked upward. “Just because a guy isn’t into women doesn’t mean he can’t tell when one is into him. So the fact that you’re asking about this hypothetical guy suggests you already have an idea what the answer is.”

“Uh-huh. Thanks for the lecture, Teach.” I thunked my head back against the couch and huffed out a breath. I hadn’t given Jesse enough credit for perspicacity. Okay, so maybe he was right, and maybe I could feel some interest from John. But he didn’t remotely inspire the vortex of emotions that Chet did, and that was the fucker I couldn’t get a read on.

Jesse laughed. “I feel sorry for this hypothetical guy already.”

I stared at him. “Why?”

“Because I don’t think you have any plans on coming out anytime soon. I mean, not that that’s a requirement or anything, but—” He rushed to continue when my jaw dropped. “Oh, I know. You like girls, too, for real, and blah blah blah. But you pinged for me a long time ago.”

Instead of being perturbed by this insight, I was fascinated. “Really? How?”

“I don’t know. Something about the way you talked about Cam last year and…” He shook his head. “Like I said, it was just a vibe. But unlike this other dude, me personally? I wouldn’t have chanced asking, because it’s pretty vague.”

“Did you know Nate was into guys too?”

“Nope. I picked up zero there. Took me by total fucking surprise until he started acting all weird around Eric. And I only really noticed because I already—”

“Had a crush on Eric,” I finished for him, and he nodded. The three of us had been eating lunch together the day Nate blurted out that he was hooking up with our other roommate. Jesse had been sullen about it for a week before he seemed to wave his hand and move on. I wished I could do that with Chet.

“So if it’s so easy to get laid, why are you complaining about not getting laid?” I asked.

“Because I have standards.”

“But you also eat chocolate Pop-Tarts.”

“Quit throwing my completely inane logic back in my face.”

14

Mark