Page 19 of Try Hard

Fia

M y phone started ringing at almost the exact moment I pulled up outside my parents’ place. Fortuitous timing, really, but, somehow, I doubted it was going to be the only person I actually wanted to talk to.

I picked up the phone, remembering how Eve had been holding it.

Fuad. Why?

“Hello,” I said, all business.

He sounded amused as he replied, which was probably fair enough. In the office, we got along perfectly fine. We weren’t best friends, but we were probably friends. At least as far as colleagues went.

“What’s up?” I asked, a flash of panic in my gut that he was calling me while I was off work.

“Oh, nothing much,” he said in that relaxed tone he almost always had, which didn’t necessarily mean nothing was wrong. “Sorry to interrupt your holiday—I really shouldn’t be—”

“I’m aware.”

He laughed again. “But I needed to ask you a quick question.”

“And it couldn’t have been an email?”

“Well,” he said, drawing the word out with amusement, “it probably could have been, but I’ve been missing your sunshine presence.”

“It’s Sunday. I’ve been officially off work for two days. A weekend.”

“As if we don’t work weekends.”

I stopped, glowering. He had me there. He did not have me on the whole sunny disposition thing.

He’d probably like Eve.

“And,” he continued, the smile fully audible, “I wanted to know how your holiday is going.”

“All two days of it.”

Fuad laughed. His voice was as warm as ever. “You’re seeing friends, and lots of them from the sounds of things. Don’t come at me for being desperate to know how that’s going for you.”

I rolled my eyes. “Your interest in my personal life is honestly ridiculous. I’m perfectly happy with my life.”

“Of course you are. You spend most of your time on adventures all over the world and the rest of it writing about those adventures. Who wouldn’t love that? I’m just fascinated by this new, social version of you.”

“I’m plenty social.”

He practically choked on his surprise. “Of course you are.”

I pulled the sun visor down, scowling at it in the absence of Fuad. “What’s the question?”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll get to it. Tell me about your weekend.”

I sighed. “Plane watching with my dad and his friends yesterday. A pre-wedding bridal brunch thing today.”

“Oh, my god. I love brunch.”

“I’m aware.”

“Was the food good? Tell me the food was good.”

“It was, actually. Sunny Monday’s. If you fancy a trip to the coast, I think you’d like it.”

He gasped excitedly. “Is that you asking me to take a road trip with you?”

“Absolutely not.”

“I wholeheartedly accept!” he said, as if I hadn’t spoken. “We’re going to have so much fun. I’ll make a playlist for the way there. You can do one for the way back. I’m looking up the menu right now.”

I wasn’t making a playlist. Those were private. Well, except for Eve, apparently. But that didn’t really matter. I wasn’t going on a road trip to Sunny Monday’s with Fuad.

There was the sound of scrambling from his side as he raced for his tablet or computer or whatever device he was planning to look the place up on.

I simply waited.

“Oh, it’s so cute,” he gushed. “Those pancakes look incredible. ”

“They are,” I replied without thinking. My mind was suddenly full of the memory of Eve feeding me her passion fruit ones.

“You ordered pancakes? My, my, you really are on holiday!”

That broke me from my reverie. “What? I eat pancakes. Everyone eats pancakes.” That wasn’t technically true, but it was the principle of the thing.

“You eat pancakes in private.”

“For fuck’s sake, Fuad. It’s not some deep, dark secret. It’s breakfast.”

“Brunch.”

“Whatever.”

He laughed again. “You just like to keep food serious.”

“What’s more serious than a pancake?” In truth, when Eve had been feeding me hers, nothing in the world had ever felt more serious.

Jesus. What was wrong with me?

“So true,” Fuad said, more seriously than a pancake probably deserved, but also, as the person mooning over my secondary school gay awakening and her pancakes, I knew I didn’t have a leg to stand on. “I take back what I said. Can’t wait to have them when we go.”

“We’re not—” I shook my head. What was the point? If Fuad decided we were going, we were probably going. Still, no playlist.

“That’s what I thought,” he said triumphantly. “So, anything other than amazing brunch to report? Have you suffocated on people yet?”

“Nothing else to say.” Not to him, not to anyone, really. Maybe my mum? The feelings Eve was stirring up felt like they needed an outlet somewhere, but, if I told Fuad, I’d never hear the end of it and we weren’t friends like that. I didn’t talk about my personal life at work.

“So, there’s way too many people but you’re having the best time celebrating your old BFF from secondary school’s wedding. Got it.”

“Kim was not my… BFF. ”

“She invited you to her wedding after twenty years. You have to have been close.”

“Kim’s just friendly. I’m sure you’d get along.”

“Only you could make that sound insulting.”

“Simply an observation.”

Fuad chuckled in that way he did when he thought I was being difficult, and I wondered what he’d think of Tanika, too. And the fact that so many of my friends from school were chatty, bubbly people.

“What was the other reason you called?” I asked, getting us back on track.

“Ah. So, yeah, remember that this is all talk and, honestly, probably stuff I shouldn’t even have been eavesdropping on, but, it’s me. Talk at your own risk.”

And that was one of the reasons I wouldn’t be talking about Eve.

I braced myself in my seat, noticing my mum was peeking out of the living room window to check I was okay. This wasn’t really the place you just loitered in your car and got away with it.

“How do you feel about being on video?” he asked.

I frowned, waving my mum off. “You want to video call me? No, thank you.”

He laughed. “No, silly. Like on social media.”

“Hard pass.”

“Ah.” He hesitated. “Then, I might have terrible news.”

“What is it?”

“They’re talking about the need to expand into social media. You know, short videos, long ones, getting the staff writers on the content.”

“They want us to write for social media?” I didn’t love that, but I could do it.

“Not exactly,” he said, his tone wheedling. “They’re not looking to hire more people, especially not to do what we’re already doing. They want us to do it alongside the writeups.”

My stomach dropped. Of course they were looking into that. In this day and age, it was a wonder it hadn’t come up sooner. But still. I had no interest in being on camera. I hid behind the photographs, behind my words and articles. I was good at that. I was not a presenter or a personality.

After a moment of silence, Fuad made a popping sound. “So, what do you think? Would you do it?”

“Would I have a choice? If they don’t want to hire more people, they’re not going to keep giving me jobs if I don’t do it, are they?”

“Well, it’s not like they can just get rid of you if you don’t.”

“True, but you know how it’ll go if we refuse. Just messy and complicated, and there is a clause in the contract that says they can make changes to respond to the market. This is exactly that.”

“Yeah.” He hummed. “Well, you know, as I say, it’s just talk right now. And I wasn’t trying to wreck your holiday with it.”

He had a strange way of showing that. Especially since he’d have heard about it on Friday at the latest. He could have asked before I left. “Right.”

“I mean, I’m kind of excited about it, honestly, but I just wanted to know what you’d say if they asked.”

“I don’t know.” I’d need to think about it, hear their proposal. And I wasn’t supposed to be hearing about all of this while I was on holiday.

I was not, however, surprised to hear Fuad was looking forward to it. He already had a decent presence on social media. He was no stranger to filming himself. He was also significantly more outgoing and personable than I was. He was the kind of personality that worked in front of a camera.

I sighed. There wasn’t anything I could do about it, and, even if there was, it wasn’t going to happen while I was on holiday leave. “Thanks for the call, Fuad. I need to run.”

He laughed. “Try not to stay too busy on your break!”

“Sure. Bye.” I hung up.

The whole thing felt like a lot, but the worst part was how Eve was the first person to pop into my mind for who I wanted to talk to about it.

That made no sense at all. We’d never been people who talked to each other.

Sure, she’d spoken to me at school, but we’d been worlds apart.

We hadn’t been friends. And, now, after two days of being back in touch, she was the one to come to mind? It didn’t make any sense at all.

I shook the thoughts off, my mind too busy to make good choices, and climbed out of the car, finally heading inside. If I stayed put for too much longer, Mum would have been coming out to get me.

She gave me all of ten seconds after I got in the door before she was at my side. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. Just work,” I said, trying subtly to adjust my blazer and ensure my piercings weren’t showing through it. I’d checked in the mirror a lot, but, being back around her had it forefront in my mind.

She tutted. “They shouldn't be contacting you while you’re on holiday.”

“It’s fine. Just a colleague and office rumours, you know?”

“About you?” she asked in a scandalised tone, pausing in her quest to lead me to the kitchen.

I laughed once. “No. Not like that. Company changes. You know how it is.”

“Oh.” She started moving again, gesturing me along the hallway with her. “Your job’s going to be safe?”

“Yes,” I said, sounding far more confident than I felt. Restructuring and redundancy weren’t exactly strangers, and there was every chance this could be part of bigger changes. “It’s really nothing to worry about. You know how company gossip gets around.”

She relaxed. “Of course. Plus, you’re a big name over there. They’d be lost without you.”