Page 33 of True North
The darkness pressed in against his eyeballs. He had known he wouldn’t be able to stay here forever. He’d just allowed himself to stop thinking about it, too busy sleeping in JT’s bed every night to worry about the end of his idyll.
“Go to sleep,” he said to himself, and tried to clear his mind of all thoughts, which didn’t work, so instead he thought about the plot of his book, which did.
He was finally drifting off to sleep when he heard JT’s footsteps on the stairs and shot back into full awareness. He lay motionless and silent as JT came into the bedroom and rustled around quietly without turning on any lights. The soft sounds of clothing being removed were followed by water running in the bathroom and the distinctive noises of JT brushing his teeth.
Misha breathed in and out. He could say nothing and wait to see what JT would do. He didn’t want so much uncertainty hanging over his head, though. Better to get it over with.
The mattress dipped as JT climbed in on the other side of the bed. Misha rolled onto his back and said, “JT?”
“Oh—sorry, did I wake you?”
“No. I don’t sleep.” Misha sighed heavily. Words were slippery; he needed to say this just right. “JT, I think… maybe I am move out soon.”
“Oh.” JT’s silence went on long enough that Misha started to sweat. Then JT said, “Is this about what happened in the hot tub earlier?”
Misha’s stomach flipped over. What was it that JT thought had happened in the hot tub? JT had been a little weird at that one point—had he caught Misha looking? Maybe this situation was even worse than Misha had initially thought.
“I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable,” JT went on when Misha didn’t reply. “I was just, uh. Christ.”
“Uncomfortable,” Misha repeated cautiously. “How, like—I do?”
The sheets rustled in the darkness. “I’m not sure what you mean.”
Ugh. Misha tried again. “I think, like—maybe it’s me, I act weird, or—maybe you think it’s time I go. Now I know shifters, so I leave here, go stay somewhere, I don’t know. Some other house.”
In the few faint glimmers of light, Misha’s sensitive eyes caught the motion of JT pushing up onto his elbow. “What? Leave here? Why would you leave? You think I want you to go?”
He sounded so surprised that the knot of worry in Misha’s chest began to unravel. “I mean, maybe you tired of me always here, eat your food, watch your TV, sleep—” He swallowed, then forced himself to say it. “Sleep in your bed, maybe you wish I go.”
“Okay.” The sheets rustled again, and then the bedside lamp clicked on, a flood of light so abrupt and eye-searing that Misha covered his face with one hand. When he blinked through his fingers, JT was sitting up and watching him with a serious, determined expression. “I don’t want you to go. I like having you here. If you want to leave, I’m happy to help you find somewhere else to live, but if you want to stay, you can stay as long as you like. I mean it.”
Misha regarded him, trying to decide how sincere he thought JT’s offer was. JT’s expression didn’t waver; if he was full of shit, there was no outward indication.
“Imeanit,” JT repeated. “I don’t actually like living alone. It’s been nice having you here.” He rubbed his face and muttered something under his breath. “That’s not to say—I mean, I’m not trying to guilt you into staying. If you want to leave, that’s what you should do. I just don’t want you to think that’s whatIwant.”
He had spoken more quickly as he went on, and Misha’s tired brain took a minute to catch up. Of course heliked living with JT, and he would be sad to leave. But nobody would want a stranger in their house indefinitely. Even if JT didn’t object to Misha’s presence now, he would grow impatient sooner or later. Better for Misha to leave than wait to be kicked out.
That wasn’t a decision to be made tonight. “Let’s sleep,” he said.
JT sighed and turned out the light.
Fifteen
Misha went out for a walk in the woods after lunch the next day, as he often did. He was always gone for at least an hour, usually longer, which was plenty of time for what JT had planned. He didn’t need longer than ten minutes if he was quick about it, half an hour if he really wanted to indulge himself.
This definitely wasn’t going to take half an hour. He just needed to clear his head after the weird interaction with Misha last night. He’d been convinced Misha had caught him looking in the hot tub and was upset about it, but then instead Misha had thought JT wanted him to move out, which got JT all stirred up in a totally different way. He needed an uncomplicated orgasm and then maybe a nap.
He went to his office at the back of the house and left the door open, just in case Misha came back earlier than expected; he would be able to hear Misha come in and have time to get himself back in order. He settled into his computer chair and pulled up the same video he always went back to, a generic ‘straight guy goes gay’ setup with almost no plot to speak of, just two guys fucking on a bed. The ‘straight’ guy was bottoming for the first time, and JT loved the shocked pleasure on his face, too raw and genuine to be faked. The guy came way too fast, almost as soon as the top got inside him, and slowly got hard again while he was fucked. It pushed all of JT’s buttons, and he watched the video way more frequently than he would ever admit.
He was already mostly hard from anticipation as the guys on the computer screen started making out, hot and heavy with lots of tongue. He rubbed himself through his shorts until he was too impatient to wait any longer, then pulled his dick out and held it pressed against his belly, his T-shirt hiked up and tucked under his armpits to avoid any mess.
In the video, the bottom lay on his back on the bed and arched his head toward the other guy, who was teasing him by refusing to give the deep kisses he wanted. Their mouths brushed against each other lightly, again and again. JT didn’t really give a shit about kissing in porn and fast-forwarded to the part where things got more interesting, as the top kissed his way down the bottom’s torso and began licking at the head of his dick.
Yeah: that was the good stuff. It didn’t hurt that the top sort of vaguely resembled Misha, if JT used his imagination a little. They had the same basic physique, and between that and the brown hair, JT could pretend itwasMisha, that Misha was about to give it good to some over-muscled frat bro type. Embarrassing, but there was a reason he kept coming back to this video even though the internet was full of more porn than he could watch in a lifetime.
The bottom started moaning a little. JT turned up the volume and teased his fingers along his shaft. He was already swollen and throbbing, so this wouldn’t take long at all.
He was so familiar with the video by now that he didn’t really need to watch. He reclined in his chair, his head tipped back against the headrest. With his eyes closed, he could fully reimagine the scenario to his own specifications: that was him on his back, about to get fucked within an inch of his life, and Misha kissing him and touching him, asking him what he liked. Maybe it was Misha’s first time with a guy, or first time fucking a guy, and he would be a little uncertain about it, but JT would coach him through it, and Misha would do a great job, amazing. JT would come so hard his balls ached.