Page 48 of Troubled Skies (Blue Skies #3)

twenty-three

Ren

Ren was aware something had shifted between him and Adrian after their stop in Salalah.

Adrian seemed more at ease, and they flowed together easily.

The way Adrian touched him, kissed him, the way his body responded to Ren’s…

it made it difficult to hold back the words that kept threatening to tumble from Ren’s mouth, but still Ren persisted.

It wasn’t the right time to tell Adrian how he felt, he was sure of that.

Whenever emotions between them welled up too strongly, he saw the conflict in Adrian’s eyes, saw the confusion and fear.

How could he tell Adrian he loved him if it was impossible for them to have a future?

When the mere thought of telling his father he wanted to be with a man, with Adrian, and that he wanted it to be public, filled Ren’s stomach with acid?

It would not be fair, and Adrian had been hurt enough by men who said they loved him and then betrayed him. He wouldn’t let himself be one more.

As the days counted down to their arrival in the Maldives, Ren rarely wanted to be anywhere but by Adrian’s side.

It was as if he feared Adrian would disappear if they weren’t together.

But Adrian seemed to be possessed by the same emotions.

They cuddled on the loungers by the pool, on the banquettes as they watched movies.

Even when they played games, either by themselves or with the crew, they maintained contact.

Adrian often sat on Ren’s lap when he was done playing, fingers running through Ren’s curls or stroking the back of his neck until Ren was too distracted to continue.

They stole kisses throughout the day. Sweet kisses and downright filthy ones that led to them discovering places on the yacht where Ren had never had sex before. Places Ren vowed would belong to him and Adrian alone if that was the only thing he was able to keep.

At night, they exhausted each other, then fell asleep with their arms and legs entwined.

They woke still entangled, hard cocks eager for another round.

Ren could not get enough of Adrian and would happily have stayed in bed with him pretending that they did not have a ticking clock counting down to the end.

They arrived in the Maldives in mid-afternoon on the fifth day out from Salalah and anchored just off a private resort island that was ringed by bungalows.

As soon as the yacht was secure on its lines, Ren launched himself off the side and into the pristine blue water.

It caused both Rigo and Adrian fits, but Ren was laughing as he swam to the back of the yacht and climbed aboard the swim platform.

Adrian met him with a towel, and Rigo with a scolding, but Ren was in high spirits. His punishment was over.

Grabbing Adrian around the waist and ignoring his distress that Ren was getting him wet, Ren lifted Adrian off his feet and spun him.

“I am free, poussin!” he shouted. “Free to go where I want. Free to drink what I want. Free to be with whom I want, where I want, when I want.” He pulled Adrian against his chest and kissed him, ignoring the pang in his heart that belied his last statements.

When Adrian only stared at him, Ren saw the sadness in his eyes and struggled not to tell Adrian how he felt, that he wanted Adrian to stay with him, to return with him to Belvaux.

After everything they had done, all the time they had spent together, the amazing sex they’d had, Ren wanted Adrian to know, but he also knew that would be wildly unfair of him.

So, he said nothing and allowed Adrian to pull away from him.

“Mon cher,” Ren said as he reached out for Adrian’s hand so he could pull him close again. “Please forgive me, I am an idiot.”

“It’s fine,” Adrian said, conjuring up a small smile. “You’re free. Yay! I’ll have Sylvie make reservations for me to get back to Ibiza.”

“No, mon cher, that is not necessary. Adrian—”

A shrill whistle interrupted Ren and made him whirl his head around.

He and Adrian still stood on the swim deck, and the yacht was being approached by a water taxi filled to the brim with faces Ren began to recognize.

Especially the one who jumped onto one of the seats, held a bottle of champagne over his head—Ren’s favorite yellow label visible—and whistled again.

“Permission to come aboard!” Maurice shouted.

“Putain! Of course,” Ren laughed.

There was a great deal of chatter and shouting as the deckhands rushed to secure the boat to the Belle, then helped Maurice and the dozen people he’d brought with him disembark. Ren greeted each person with a hug and expressions of surprise. And then Maurice was in front of him.

“What are you doing here?” Ren asked. “And how much have you had to drink already?”

“I told you I’d meet you in the Maldives,” Maurice said, flashing Ren a smile that was full of perfect, white teeth.

“And not nearly enough. Which is why I brought you this.” Maurice handed him the bottle.

“I figured you’d need some cheering up after your ordeal, but you look…

” Maurice stepped back to eye him. “Actually, you look pretty damn good. And happy. Maybe I should keep that for myself.”

He reached for the bottle, but Ren clutched it to his chest. “Non. Just because I survived does not mean I am not in dire need of champagne.” He slung an arm around Maurice, and they followed the others up the stairs to the pool. “There is someone I want you to meet, though.”

“Ah. I knew it! Faisal said you had someone on board. Where is she? Who is she? If she can put up with your sober ass for two weeks straight, she must be amazing.”

“ He is indeed quite special,” Ren said, realizing Adrian had disappeared at the same moment Maurice’s eyes went wide. “But he seems to have gone missing. Une minute, s'il te pla?t.”

Ren scanned the pool deck that was now crowded with friends and acquaintances.

As he sought out Adrian, they kept getting in his way to say hello, ask him how the trip had gone, express how much they’d missed him at this party or that event.

All of it was maddening as Ren could not figure out where Adrian had gone.

“Where is the alcohol?” Maurice called as Ren climbed the stairs to the next deck.

“I will send Sylvie to you,” Ren promised.

“No worries. We’ll help ourselves,” Maurice called after him as Ren disappeared inside intent on finding Adrian.

He found Veronique first, but she hadn’t seen Adrian.

Ren asked her to go to the pool to take drink orders and tell Rachel they would need food for his friends, then he resumed his search.

It didn’t take him long to find Adrian in their cabin. Packing. His suitcase lay open on the bed, a pile of clothes beside it.

“What are you doing, poussin?” Ren asked. His voice was soft, bewildered. “You disappeared.”

“It’s okay,” Adrian said without turning around as he folded a shirt. “I said I’d stay with you until the Maldives.” He shrugged. “Now your friends are here, so it’s time for me to go.”

“I do not understand,” Ren said. “I do not want you to go. I want you to meet my friends. To meet Maurice.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I disagree, poussin. Would you look at me, s'il te pla?t? Adrian?”

When Adrian turned, the expression on his face nearly broke Ren’s heart. It was full of misery and resignation.

“Please, don’t make a scene,” Adrian said as he turned away and began folding another shirt.

“I don’t need you to tell me you had a great time.

I don’t need you to tell me you’ll always remember me.

” He took a deep, shaky breath, head bowed as if his words were costing him every ounce of strength. “I know. I feel the same way.”

“And if I want to tell you how special you are, chéri? May I do that?” Ren took a step closer. “Or that I don’t want this to be finit? Would that be all right with you?”

Music reached the cabin as someone turned on the sound system by the pool and a heavy synth beat began to pulse through the yacht.

Ren rolled his eyes at the idiots who were his friends.

They would be cited by the resort for making too much noise, but he couldn’t deal with that right now.

His attention was on Adrian. On the way he still hadn’t said anything in response to Ren’s words, and how vitally important it was for him to understand.

“Do you love me, chéri?” Ren asked.

“Don’t,” Adrian whispered without turning around. “Don’t make me say it.”

Ren took another step forward and another until he stood behind Adrian.

He put his hands on Adrian’s shoulders. “Say what?” he asked.

“What is it that you do not want to say?” Adrian resisted as Ren turned him, but then he gave in, wheeling around so quickly, it caught Ren by surprise, then nearly knocked him over when Adrian wrapped his arms around Ren’s waist and buried his face against Ren’s chest.

His hands rose of their own accord, protecting and enclosing Adrian, while Ren felt the frantic beat of his heart and the answering rhythm of his own.

“Do you need me to say it first?” Ren asked.

“D’accord.” Cupping Adrian’s chin in his hand, Ren lifted his face so he could see those green eyes he adored.

They were confused and hurt, but in their depths, Ren also saw hope.

And love. He’d been seeing that for days, he realized, and it gave him the courage to say something he’d never said before, courage to make a choice for the kind of life he wanted to live.

“Adrian, I am in love with you. I do not wish you to leave because I think you are in love with me, too. Is this true?”

For a long moment, Adrian didn’t say anything, he didn’t even seem to be breathing, but then Ren felt tears on his bare chest. “Poussin?” he whispered and was startled by a sob.

“I do,” Adrian said. “I love you. I tried not to, but I couldn’t help it.”