Page 46 of Troubled Skies (Blue Skies #3)

twenty-two

Adrian

The half an hour they were in the air while the military ships played cat and mouse with the pirates was the longest of Adrian’s life.

He hated every second of being in the helicopter.

Hated the way it dipped and swayed with each gust of wind.

Hated the noise. Hated the smell. Hated the crackle of voices in his ears as people tersely spoke words that foretold Adrian’s future. And Ren’s.

As much as the experience terrified him, the one thing that had kept him from losing it in a full-blown panic attack had been Ren.

Ren’s voice. Ren’s strong arms holding him.

Ren’s heart beating beneath Adrian’s cheek.

And when Ren rocked him while singing that French song?

It didn’t matter that Adrian couldn’t understand the words, he felt the comfort and safety of his shelter in Ren’s arms. He’d also seen the emotion in Ren’s eyes when he’d finally looked up, the depth of it, the enormity.

Adrian knew, despite his best efforts, his heart belonged to Ren in that moment.

And it was okay.

He’d known he was falling, known what was happening, and chose it with his eyes wide open and in full recognition that nothing would come of it.

He accepted his fate. At the end of this trip, Ren would go back to globe-trotting and parties, and Adrian would return to LA and try to figure out what to do with his life.

Because another thing had become abundantly clear in those thirty minutes before they returned to the Belle: Adrian was done flying.

If he’d needed any further proof, it came when he stumbled out of the helicopter and barely made it to the railing before he threw up.

His entire body was trembling, and his legs practically collapsed out from under him.

But Ren was there, holding him up, supporting him, and guiding him back into the cabin they’d abandoned such a short time before.

“Easy, poussin,” Ren murmured as he led Adrian toward the bed. “Lie down. I will get you something to drink and some crackers to soothe your stomach.”

Adrian grabbed Ren’s hand. All he needed was Ren, but he couldn’t get himself to say that out loud. “Stay. I’m fine.”

Ren insisted on getting Adrian some water, then Adrian watched him bustle around the cabin, restlessly straightening things that didn’t need straightening.

“Come lie down,” Adrian said after Ren moved a decorative flower arrangement from one side of a console table to the other. “You’re making my head spin all over again.” As Ren finally settled next to him, Adrian rolled up on his side to face him. “Are you all right?”

“Moi? I am fine, poussin, just burning off energy from our adventure.”

Adrian shuddered at the word “adventure,” but took hold of Ren’s hand. “If we have to do that again, please, feel free to leave me behind.” He was only half joking, but Ren’s horrified expression sobered him in an instant. “Seriously, Ren, you should have. Your safety was the most important thing.”

“Second to yours, poussin. It was not in me to depart without you. I promised you that.”

“Because of the nightmare I had. I know you wouldn’t do that if you had a choice.”

“Oui. And, I had a choice today. I chose to keep you with me.”

“You’re impossible,” Adrian said, his chest filling with warmth for this ridiculous man who lay beside him. “I thought Rigo really was going to throw you over his shoulder or at least drag you out the door.”

“Je sais. It is where I got the idea to carry you if you could not walk.” Ren shook his head and reached out to touch Adrian’s face, the tenderness in his touch almost more than Adrian could take.

“I will do it again if I have to. I—” Another shake of his head. “I do not want to lose you, mon amour.”

Adrian froze. He might not know that much French, but he knew enough to understand that Ren had just called him “my love.” But he couldn’t mean that literally, could he?

Staring into Ren’s eyes, Adrian could almost believe he did, and he felt his heart beat harder with fear.

Fear that if Ren said it, Adrian would confess he felt the same way, and there’d be no taking it back.

Fear that it wouldn’t change anything about their future.

Fear that the admission would crack his heart open so wide, he would never be the same again.

Fear that no matter what happened, he would never be the same anyway because Ren had changed him.

It was easier to stay silent and allow the moment to pass, taking with it those unspoken words.

“We should get some dinner,” Adrian said. “Maybe just a sandwich for me.”

“Would you like me to get it for you, poussin?”

Adrian was about to tell Ren he could do it himself, but then he saw how much Ren wanted to do something, anything, to take care of him. “Please,” he said instead, realizing that he needed a moment alone to gather his thoughts.

As soon as the door closed behind him, Adrian let out a long breath then flopped onto his back and draped his arm over his eyes. What the fuck was he going to do? How was he going to hide the way he felt for the next week?

Knowing he needed help, Adrian got up and crossed the room to the go-bags, unzipping the one on the top to retrieve his cell phone.

Rigo had insisted they keep their phones in the bags, though Adrian didn’t know why since all the phones on board had to be turned off until they reached Salalah and were out of the High Risk Area.

Adrian looked down at the open bag, realizing he couldn’t send his panicked message to Luis at the same time it hit him that he was staring at the small statue of Clio he’d gotten for Ren while they were in Athens.

Did that silly tourist trinket mean so much to Ren that he wouldn’t have left the yacht without it?

Adrian didn’t believe it, but there was no other explanation for why Ren would have taken up space in his go-bag if the statue didn’t mean something to him.

Adrian closed the bag up and flopped back down on the bed. Mon amour. The words echoed in his head as he thought about Ren and if it would change anything to tell him how he felt. Could he be brave enough to stand in front of that man, that prince , and lay his feelings bare?

By the time Ren returned with a couple of sandwiches and several bottles of water, Adrian was no closer to having an answer for himself and decided to let things be for now.

They had a week. If he’d misread Ren or was reading more into his words—which had likely been a slip of the tongue brought on by relief after the danger they’d been in—it would only make things awkward for the rest of the trip.

They reached Oman without further incident, and the ship was stripped of all its defensive armament.

After the Belle returned to its normal state and the security detail departed, the captain gathered everyone together in the main lounge and praised their performance during the crossing.

He also offered them a chance to go ashore.

“We’re not getting underway until tomorrow morning, so we’ll take the night off and relax. Shore leave is granted to all of you.” He looked at Adrian and Ren. “That includes the two of you. I’d still suggest you keep things on the downlow. Oman isn’t as restrictive as our previous ports, but…”

“Of course,” Ren said. “We understand, and we will do as you say.”

Rachel clapped her hands and announced that she knew the perfect place for dinner, and that they could do it in a private cabana on the beach. She raised her eyebrows at Ren who nodded in ascent.

All of which explained how Adrian ended up with his toes in the sand in Salalah, Oman, having just eaten a delicious meal of local scallops, haloumi and watermelon salad, chargrilled lobster, and an amazing rosewater and pistachio panna cotta.

He was sipping a glass of Veuve Clicquot and laughing at Ren playing beach volleyball with the deck crew.

“You seem to be doing well,” Rachel said as she sidled up to him.

Adrian tipped the glass at her. “This is helping.” He shook his head. “I don’t know how you do this all the time.”

“Drink?” Rachel raised her glass which was filled with a date liqueur Adrian had taken a small sip of before opting for the champagne.

When she smiled, Adrian knew she was being deliberately obtuse.

“I was terrified the first time I sailed through pirate waters, literally curled up in tears in my bunk, but no harm has come to me yet. Now, it’s a good reminder that life is short, and we should not let opportunities pass us by. ”

Before Adrian was able to decide if Rachel’s words meant more than what she’d said, shouting erupted from the volleyball game as Ren made a spectacular play, diving into the sand to bump the ball into the air so one of his teammates could smash it over the net.

They high-fived as Ren glanced toward Adrian.

“Did you see me, poussin?” he asked, his face glowing with triumph.

“Very impressive,” Adrian said and raised his glass in Ren’s direction. He was rewarded with a fist pump before Ren turned his attention back to the game.

“Rigo was quite upset Ren wouldn’t leave the ship without you,” Rachel said.

“I’m sure he was.” Adrian turned to look at her, but her gaze was locked on the volleyball players.

In his experience with the chef, she didn’t mince words or play games.

If she wanted information, she would ask.

Bluntly. “I was too, to be honest. His safety matters more than mine. He should have left me.”

“It’s obvious Henri does not think so,” Rachel said. She drained her drink then declared she was off to find another.

“Happy hunting,” he said, and she laughed.

“I am in the mind to take my own advice,” Rachel said, turning to leave Adrian’s side. “Perhaps you should, too.”

With that, she was gone, leaving Adrian to ponder what she had meant.