Page 74 of Trigger Discipline
For a long time, they lay like that, coming down off their high. The room was hot, their skin tacky. Eventually, Gabriel rolled off Blake. His absence was startling. They had been pressed together for so long that he’d grown used to the feel of his skin, the rasp of breath against him. Without the press of Gabriel’s weight, Blake didn’t know what to do.
Before he could begin to panic, Gabriel reached for him,pulling him tight against his side. Blake went without protest, burying his head against Gabriel’s chest.
It was nice, all tangled up together. Despite the sweat and cum drying all over his stomach, he couldn’t bring himself to get up. To do anything except lie there listening to Gabriel’s heartbeat. The strange sense of peace, of normality, was something he hadn’t experienced in so long. It was surreal.
Maybe he didn’t want to get up because he didn’t want to face the world out there. Or maybe because this was Gabriel, the man who proved to be the exception to everything Blake had ever known.
Gabriel had his arm under Blake, curled around him so he could lazily trace patterns on his skin. It felt good. Blake had to resist the urge to close his eyes and purr like a cat.
“You know,” Gabriel began, his chest rumbling under Blake’s ear. “Crochet saved me. It takes concentration. Every stitch has to have the right amount of tension and the right order of yarn, overs and pull throughs. Just when I got into a rhythm, I would mess up somehow and have to go back. It kept my focus. Gave me something to do with my hands.” Gabriel went quiet, his breath stuttering before he continued. “Making something, to take some yarn and turn it into something functional I—I don’t have a lot of experience with that.”
Gabriel’s hands clenched. Blake knew what he was thinking—the guilt sat heavy on his shoulders. Like it did with Judd and Phin, maybe in different ways, but it was there in the gunpowder stuck in the creases of their palms and the way they flinched at loud noises. Gabriel was a man whose value solely rested on his ability to take a life. To inflict harm.
To use those hands for something like crochet, to make something. To create…
Blake took the hand in front of him, gently smoothing out his fingers. He traced the lines on Gabriel’s hands and the swirls of his fingerprints.
“You’re like that,” Gabriel continued, his hand goingsoft under Blake’s ministrations. “Through all of this, you’ve been this focus for me. I can’t explain it. But every time I wanted to panic or give up, I thought of you.”
Blake could explain it. It was the same way he felt about Gabriel. But that was natural. Gabriel was the coolest, most confident person he’d ever met. All the man had to do was walk into the room, and everyone looked to him like the leader he was.
To have him say he felt the same about Blake was…laughable, honestly.
Swallowing, he turned his head so he could look at Gabriel. “So you’re a real hooker, huh?”
Gabriel laughed, his eyes scrunching. “You could say that.”
Blake still had Gabriel’s hand, and he didn’t feel the need to let it go. He took his time to trace every callous and smooth out the tension.
After a long moment, Gabriel shifted under him. “Are you okay?”
Blake huffed. “Like…am I okay with being in the middle of every shitty B movie I watched on Sunday afternoons, or am I okay with your dick touching mine?”
“Yes.”
Blake pushed himself up, swinging a leg over Gabriel’s hips. The soldier’s cock twitched in interest, and Blake couldn’t resist rolling his hips. Gabriel’s sharp intake of breath made him grin.
Planting his hands on either side of Gabriel’s head, Blake leaned in to kiss him, but at the last moment bit his lower lip, dragging at it until it popped out from between his teeth. “I hate to break it to you, but after staring down not one, but two alien species, my sexuality is pretty low on my give a fuck list.”
Blake rolled his hips again, delighting in how quicklyGabriel’s cock filled out. “I wanted to do it. I liked it. I like…I like you.”
It felt wrong to say that. To confess to a crush here, in a time like this where feelings were so petty, so fleeting, in the face of people dying. But it was the truth. And whatever he and Gabriel had, it was built on truth.
Gabriel stared at him, his face inscrutable. It was like he was taking the time to gauge Blake and his responses, playing every single one of their interactions back. Maybe he was looking for a fault—that would be on par with Gabriel’s soldier complex. But instead of saying anything, he reached forward and stroked Blake’s cheek, cupping it like he did when he first kissed him.
Thumb stroking over the arch, he hummed softly. “I like you too, Blake Lewis.”
He turned into his hand, kissing the soldier’s palm. “Terrible decision.”
“That, right there.” Gabriel grinned. “Mouth like a blade, hands that stop the bleeding, a mind that?—”
The door to the bedroom banged twice before Victoria called out, “Your watch.”
Gabriel tucked some hair behind Blake’s ear and sat up, reaching for his clothes. His pants were still mostly on, and Blake took the time to admire the way they sat just under his ass. It was a great ass.
After using the damp washcloth from their earlier baths, Gabriel tugged on his shirt. The dark compression shirt was form fitting. It clung to his broad shoulders and torso in a way it probably always had, but it was like someone had flipped the horny switch in Blake’s mind and he was just starting to notice. His dick valiantly chubbed up, ready and willing for round two.
“C’mon,” Gabriel said, hoisting him off the bed so he could wipe Blake down. His touches were clinical, but Blake could see the tent in his pants. Blake purposefully brushedpast him to grab his clothes off the floor, letting his arm drag just below his erection.