Page 25 of Trigger Discipline

Blake suddenly remembered why he normally kept his mouth shut. It was easier than trying to explain the little mannerisms and triggers he picked up. How was he supposed to casually explain that the way Gabriel walked, his slightly different uniform, and the subtle way he stood taller whenever someone older walked into the room gave him away?

“I guessed.”

“Bullshit,” Gabriel said, stepping closer.

Blake craned his head and forced himself to look up into Gabriel’s eyes. They were hard to find under the brim of his helmet. Harder to look at when he realized they changed color, flecks of green and gold shifting as the light faded.

“I’ve met guys in psyops who couldn’t do that.”

“Psyops is pretty intense, right?” Blake asked, trying to divert the conversation.

Gabriel raised an eyebrow at him, but he allowed the diversion, turning to continue down the street. Blake had to hustle to keep up with his long strides.

“I mean, inStarship Troopers, they were working with mind control and stuff.”

Gabriel huffed. “This isn’tStarship Troopers.”

Blake gestured to the desolate street around them. “Are you sure?”

That had the soldier laughing, and it felt good. Like maybe there was a real person under the plate carrier and helmet, one who had seen cult favorite sci-fi movies and understood his references.

“Still didn’t tell me about your parents,” Blake nudged as they circled around a crater in the middle of the street. Half a Buick was sticking out of it.

“Tell you what,” Gabriel began, checking his watch. “You tell me how you knew all that about me, and I’ll tell you all about Craig and Linda Lennox.”

“Would you believe I’m psychic?”

“No.” Gabriel’s teeth flashed as he smiled. “You’re not that interesting.”

Blake snorted. “You don’t know it, but that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.” Which, in retrospect, might be a little sad. But Blake was trying to balance between introspection and not losing his goddamn mind, so he wasn’t going to analyze it. “I notice things. A lot of things.”

“Thingstold you I joined the military right out of high school against my parent’s wishes?”

“No. They…it’s not like I’m reading a book about you. It’s not a special power. I just pick up on body language and stuff. Notice behaviors. I can’t turn it off.”

Gabriel side-eyed him. “Why would you want to?”

“Because it’s weird.” Blake pushed some of his hair out of his face. “And exhausting.”

Gabriel didn’t say anything for a long time, and Blake was afraid that meant he agreed. He wasn’t sure why that was a bad thing. He just met the man a few hours ago, but there was something honest in Gabriel. Something comforting. Like he was an open book for the world, so it didn’t matter what Blake picked up on. He’d tell him if he asked.

“My mom stayed at home, and my dad worked in IT. After my sister was born, they were told they couldn’t have any more kids. Fifteen years later, I was born. They always pushed a good education. My sister has a doctorate and a master’s.” He smiled softly. “Imagine their horror when I showed up with a crew cut and some enlistment papers.”

“Are you close now?”

“As close as we can be when I can’t tell them where I’m going, what I’m doing, or when I’ll be home. They hated the military life, so it was easier for them not to know. Easier for me, too.”

Blake couldn’t exactly relate, but he understood.

It all seemed so silly now, as he stepped over broken bits of building and pretended the red sticky stuff on his boots was paint. He couldn’t remember the last thing he said to his mom and dad, probably nothing. Just surface level stuff. Why? Because he was petty and angry, and they didn’t try to understand him. The same could be said for him.

They’d been loving, maybe not in the way he saw on TV or in books, but in their own way. In a quiet way, they always made sure he had new books to read, or never said anythingwhen he preferred to stay in his room rather than come out during family holidays.

Tears burned at the back of his eyes, and he clutched the backpack straps to do something with his hands. Anything to keep from crying right now. He didn’t have time for that.

It’s never your turn.

Pushing all thoughts of regret from his mind, he focused on following Gabriel. On watching the pull of his uniform over his shoulders and the silent, confident way in which he navigated the streets.