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Chapter Twenty-Four

VOLAN

“M aya?” I call as I slip back into the room on silent feet. I push the door behind me closed, ensuring that our voices won’t echo down the tunnels. Across the room, Maya is still curled up asleep where I left her, wrapped up in my cloak. She’s not cold, not if the fully clothed leg thrust from beneath the material or the flushed cheeks mean anything; she just wanted to cling to something.

A shame it wasn’t me. It should have been me. Preferably while she was still naked. But I had plenty to do, and took the opportunity while she rested.

I could have taken her with me this morning, but I wanted her to rest. After I was done with her last night, she was utterly exhausted. I’m honestly surprised that I’m even up and about, feeling as invigorated as I do—yet she makes me feel more alive than I have ever felt before.

If she’s sleeping this late, then I’ve pushed her too hard, I realize. I marched her across the Atraxis surface, and then through tunnels non-stop. I barely paused for a rest after the scampers found us, fearing more tracking us. On top of that, she’s reassessed her entire past, forced to truly consider who she is and what her priorities are in life. The emotional turmoil she’s been experiencing… it’s enough to make even a warrior falter.

I faltered.

I keep failing her. I should have told Maya last night, but instead, I let my desire for her sweep me up. It really wasn’t hard to do so when she was begging me so sweetly to kiss her.

I no longer have a choice. Time is running out, especially now that I’ve set things in motion. I must wake her and explain who I truly am. I’ll ask her to meet my father, my people, and I’ll reveal my whole plan.

Yet even as I kneel beside her, my hand hovering over her shoulder, I find myself unable to wake her.

Will she still want me after I reveal everything? Will she turn to look at me with greed in her eyes, not love, once she knows that I am a prince? What if she decides that she doesn’t want me, my omissions too great a blow to her trust? Or what if she wants to return to the surface, to her own people, rather than live with my own?

I take a deep breath, reminding myself that I’ll figure it out. If I have to live on the surface just to be with her, I’ll gladly do it. Besides, didn’t I want my people to embrace the light once again—literally? For so long now, we’ve been living in the dark. Maya is our future. She’s my future.

I have no doubt that in time she’ll come to care for my people. As long as they are given the chance. As long as she gives me the chance.

The more I think about my new plan, the more I find myself determined. I will convince her to stay with me. I will take my rightful place as king, and I will save our people.

I run my hand over her shoulder, gently shaking her to consciousness. If I touch her any more than necessary, I risk everything. I’ll all too easily fall back beneath the covers with her, the temptation to stroke her soft skin overwhelming.

She blinks up at me groggily. The soft smile she gives me is nearly my undoing. She reaches for me… and I thrust the food that I’ve gathered while she slept into her hands.

“I brought you food,” I tell her, hastily making a retreat a few steps away. I pull another sobra bulb from a pouch, turning my focus entirely on the act of peeling it and shoving it into my mouth. Its juices taste like ash, nothing at all like Maya’s sweetness. I find no pleasure in eating the fruit.

Maya, on the other hand, clearly enjoys it, moaning as she takes a bite. Her eyes meet mine, challenging and suggestive.

“You know, I was thinking,” Maya states, pausing as she takes another bite of her fruit. Her lips glisten wetly with the juices, and I can barely stop myself from crawling over to her to sample the flavor. Would it taste better than mine? Probably.

“You are always thinking, halvi,” I force myself to reply. If there’s one thing that I’ve learned about Maya, it is that her mind is brilliant. Give her a problem, and she doesn’t let go; too stubborn to give up. Her persistence is an inner strength that so many lack, even the strongest of warriors. Combined with her selflessness, she’d make a formidable queen.

“How did your people even make the medicine?” Maya asks. “Entire races have been trying to make a miracle cure like this for, well, thousands of years. Everything I’ve seen of your world… right now, we’re hidden underground in a small lab that doesn’t even look remotely big enough to research something like this.”

And just like that, my pleasant thoughts flee.

I stare resolutely at the ground, trying to gather my distracted thoughts. This is not a topic that any of my people enjoy talking about. It’s definitely not one that I want to share with her… though I must.

“I do not want you to think lesser of me,” I tell her, voice quiet. If she was anyone else, I would never make this omission. I would never reveal this weakness to anyone other than her. All my life I have been trying to prove my worth… and I’m finding that the only person who I want to truly see me now is Maya. The rest can be damned. As long as I have her.

“I doubt that’s possible,” she responds. Her expression turns disappointed as she continues, “I know this place is a secret, Volan. If you don’t want to, or can’t tell me, then it’s okay…”

“I want to,” I reply, quite abruptly. I heave a sigh as I run a hand through my hair. Is this how Maya felt when I interrogated her so briskly, demanding answers? The realization just adds to the weight in my stomach, the guilt growing ever more.

I’m starting to realize that I might never measure up, that I am truly not ready to lead my people as a king. How could I when I don’t even consider Maya’s goals? I’m always so focused on what I want, that I never consider others’ needs and wants.

“Many years ago, a facility was established here. My people were… involved. The original owners needed to keep the location discreet and secure—thus they chose to build everything underground to avoid unwanted detection. The entire area is riddled with naturally formed tunnels and caverns. The building must have been easy, just reinforce some areas, smooth the walls…”

“They were researching how to bioengineer the medicine,” Maya makes the assumption. “It makes sense that such research would need to be secured. Medical companies go to lengths to protect their intellectual property.”

I simply nod, unable to say anything more. I should, but the words get caught up in my throat.

I suddenly realize that I’ve never truly feared rejection, until now. Not even all those times that I petitioned my father to let me take the throne mattered as much as this moment does. To be honest, I’ve never even had a reason to fear the rejection. Back then, I saw the throne as something I was simply entitled to, not something that I should earn.

My father may have been right; maybe I truly am not ready for leading our people.

How can they trust me, when I can’t even bring myself to tell my own mate the truth? I haven’t truly earned her trust—not with how I’ve lied and misled her. It makes my reveal all the more difficult, given how tightly she clings to the concept and belief of trust.

The thing is, I’m certain if Maya knew the full truth, she’d turn away from me in disgust.

“My people were hired by the owners as security,” I try to explain to her. Somehow, my voice comes out even—not at all like the trembling that I feel inside. “We are warriors and fighters, first and foremost.”

“I see that!” Maya smiles at me, completely oblivious to my turmoil. “I’ve never felt safer than in your presence.”

I flinch.

“You don’t understand,” I tell her with choked words. How can I explain to her the complexities of why every tribe on this planet hates my people, the sulthari? Why we hide in the shadows from everyone, including ourselves?

“We were hired to fight off any intruders, to keep things running smoothly and in order.” To keep people in line, I think bitterly.

“So you’ll get in trouble for bringing me here?” she asks, eyebrows creasing together.

I groan, as I sink my head into my hands and rub at tired eyes. In all my life I have never had to consider my words more carefully. I’ve always just sort of blurted out what I want, and things just came my way. I realize now that it’s not going to work like that anymore.

Was it ever? Once I took the throne, I couldn’t just do as I wanted. There are consequences to my actions, and I’m starting to truly realize that now.

“We don’t need to be intruders,” Maya suddenly states, determination filling her eyes. “My people came here for a new start at life, not to cause trouble. What if you come back to Eve’s Rest with me? We could reveal Walter’s plans, his machinations, to everyone. Once the council sees that you are a good guy and that you’re on the side of justice, I’m sure they’ll trust you. In fact, they’ll want to work with your people. Sure, maybe we’ll have to sign a few non-disclosure agreements with your employers, but who hasn’t signed a few in their lifetime?”

Her laughter fills the air, and with it comes a surge of hope. That maybe, just maybe, her people will overlook my people’s past mistakes and instead focus on what can be built together. They need protection—that much is clear given that they’ve just been attacked by a singular tribe of Harckana—and the sulthari can provide that. We have the experience fighting them off on a regular basis, after all.

“You’d do this for me?” I ask. “You’d ask your people to make an alliance with mine? We could trade goods regularly. We wouldn’t have to hide to survive. We could do so much more. You and I…”

Before I even realize it, I’ve crawled my way to her side and grabbed her hand in mine. I hold on to her like a lifeline. This is everything I have ever wanted. She’s offering the very thing that I have dreamt all my life!

“Maya…” I say, leaning toward her. I gaze into her eyes, searching their depths. She’s so hopeful, just like I am. She’ll forgive me, right? Together, we’ll find solutions and carve out a future—one where we both benefit. I’ll protect her people, save them even, and she’ll be my queen, never wanting for anything. I’ll dedicate my life to making her happy, blessed to see her smile and laugh each and every day.

“Yes?” Maya asks, voice breathy.

“There’s something I’ve been wanting to discuss with you,” I tell her. “I want to be completely honest with you. After spending the last few days with you, I’ve realized you mean a lot to me and…”

I have to tell her everything, and I’m determined more than ever now.

“Maya, I’m not?—“

I never get to tell her that I’m not who she thinks I am.

Behind us, the door to the lab smashes open, pushed violently open, slamming against the wall with a thud that echoes through the room and down the tunnels.

Immediately, I’m standing in front of Maya, weapons drawn. My trusty daggers held in my palm, the leather-wrapped hilts are a familiar and welcome presence beneath my grip.

I knew we’d have company, but not like this. Not right now. This is an intruder. A threat. Absolutely nothing I have strived for in my life will be worth it if I don’t have Maya by my side, safe and protected. I firm my jaw. I refuse to lose her. Nothing, and I swear nothing, will hurt Maya ever again. I will protect her with my life. On this, I vow.