Page 17

Chapter Seventeen

MAYA

I prop myself up, looking down at the gray-skinned alien that lies beneath me. His hand gently strokes soothing circles on my back, claws scraping with an erotic caress.

Realizing I am awake, he rolls us so that his body rises over mine. His hips nestle between mine, an iron bar pressing against my already slick core. His breath ghosts across my skin as he gazes softly down at me.

“Good morning,” I squeak, a shyness returning to me. Yesterday was… intense. He’s intense.

The bravery I’ve been displaying isn’t natural to me; it’s born from some desperation. I’m not one to usually take such huge leaps, such as running away from the safety of the colony. If I had another choice, I’d be curled up in front of a fire reading a good book. Instead, I’m here with this alien as he looms over me and makes me feel… what exactly? Safe? Cared for?

My heart flutters, that tiny buried place in my chest warming at the idea. Wanting this; someone who actually cares for me, puts me first. Walking around dark tunnels isn’t exactly how I imagined my life going, but it’s scary how quickly I could see myself doing it if it meant staying with Volan.

I can’t fall in love with the alien, I tell myself for what feels like the hundredth time. Because seriously, I think I’m developing emotions for Volan. I can’t. I refuse to.

Volan hums, dipping his head to brush a gentle kiss across my lips. It feels… reverent. This isn’t some caught-up-in-passion moment, but something soft and tender. The way he hovers about, like he actually cares about me… well, it’s been a while since someone cared that much.

I cannot fall in love with this alien, I repeat silently.

The male is annoying. He drives me utterly insane. Of course, he knows how to push each and every one of my buttons. And heaven help me, I think I actually like it… Because even when he pushes me, I have this distinct impression that he’ll catch me when I fall. And no one’s ever done that for me before.

Volan’s ministrations move to my jaw, then to my neck. I moan at the feeling of his teeth scraping my sensitive flesh. My mind screams at me to put a stop to this before my emotions get too entwined, but my body… I’m plagued by visions of him biting me, marking me for all to see that I’m his…

I cannot fall in love with him!

My stomach chooses that moment to save me from myself. It rumbles so violently that the sound echoes off the cave walls. I’m pretty sure Volan felt that. I don’t know if I should laugh or cry.

“Here I was thinking of feasting on your delicious cunt, and you are thinking about actually eating,” he remarks. He laughs, actually laughs. His whole body bounces on top of mine as he throws his head back and guffaws.

I shove his shoulders, pushing him from me. He’s so much larger than I that I’d have no hope actually moving him if he didn’t want to let me escape. That very thought should make me afraid, yet somehow it doesn’t.

He’s protected me, putting his life at risk to do so, and he hasn’t once done anything to betray me.

I trust him, I realize. I can trust Volan… Can’t I?

I peek up at him through my eyelashes, watching the way he leans on one arm casually beside the thermal pool. He’s the polar opposite of me; relaxed when I am tense, joyful when I want to scream at the world from frustration and anger.

With a playful pout, Volan eases away from me, fingers purposely stroking across my warm skin. As soon as his touch leaves me, though, I feel bereft and chilled, as if he was anchoring me in place.

“Will you allow me to feed you?” he asks, eyes not meeting mine.

My breath catches in my throat. For once he’s not pushing me, not demanding that I keep up with him. Is he asking what I think he is? For some aliens, feeding a partner is considered an intimate act, one involving courting and mating. Despite what many think, just because a species has intergalactic flight capabilities, doesn’t mean they evolved past some of their base needs. Just like human males taking females out on dinner dates, many cultures consider the presentation of food to be symbolic of the ability to provide and care.

Is Volan propositioning me? Is it because we had sex last night… or is it because he actually likes me? He did agree to help me before the sex. It’s not like he just picked me up in his arms and carried me off like some damsel in distress.

“There is a Sobra farm nearby,” Volan clears his throat when my shocked silence goes on too long. “We can get some food there, unless you have something stored in that skirt of yours. Your stomach rumbles, and mine is feeling rather empty as well.”

“Oh,” disappointment washes through me at his quick change. For a brief moment, I had found myself… hoping. For what? A mating? A marriage? That’s ridiculous! I shake my head. I just got out of a nasty marriage, the last thing I want is to wind up in another one. I don’t even know this guy!

“Maya?”

“Food would be amazing,” I reply, embarrassment flushing through me when I realize that Volan’s staring at me, and I’ve just been pondering the really weird state of my love life. Or lack of it.

This girl needs coffee. All I seem capable of doing is arguing internally with myself.

“Come,” Volan offers me a hand, smiling down at me softly. Of course, his cock is on full display between us, and my eyes snap to it like a magnet. I have no idea how he fit inside me last night, and given the ache between my legs… he nearly didn’t.

I take his hand and allow him to pull me to my feet. Our bodies brush close, and his hand holds mine, not letting go. Tension builds between us as I stare up at him.

“Thanks,” I say, my breath coming out shaken, my pulse racing. Is it because he’s staring at me like he can’t wait to eat me…

No, it’s because I’m excited about this quest. The one to save my colony and my friends. The thing that I should be focusing on.

I’m honestly surprised that I’m actually doing this. Sure, there’s been a few slip-ups and a few unpleasant encounters so far… but look at me! I’m away from Eve’s Rest, actually on an adventure. I’m that quiet girl who never speaks up, and always follows rules and regulations.

It’s a new day. After a night of good rest—though really, can we call it sleep given that Volan woke me up at some point again, and then me him—I’m surprisingly invigorated. I feel like a new woman. I was so afraid I was doing the wrong thing. I mean, I did literally just run off into the wilderness without telling anyone. Really unprepared for it… but I’ve got Volan. Who needs to know how to use fancy blaster guns when you’ve got a literal warrior by your side? I suddenly feel a whole lot more confident. I feel like I can take on the entire world.

“What’s that smile for?” Volan asks, bumping against my shoulder gently as he pulls on his boots.

“We make a good team,” I tell him as I search the ground for my clothing. I scrunch my nose at the sodden fabric. It hasn’t had a chance to dry in the humid air.

I slide my foot into my boot, turning up my lips as my toes press against the wet interior. As I place my foot down upon the floor, it sloshes.

I imagine us off on our adventure, attempting to sneak through tunnels quite dramatically. Only each step will be accompanied by a squelch, giving away our position. It’s something out of a comedy, and right now it matches my heightened mood and desire to just… grin.

“I should be thanking you,” I tell him, a smile tugging at my lips again as I turn to face him.

“I was definitely not well last night. I realize that. Everything happened in such a blur… and I’m really thankful that you took care of me.”

My cheeks heat as I remember just how well he took care of me.

It wars directly with my thumping heart, as it realizes that he’s the only person to ever take care of me. I feel special, and I shouldn’t.

“I don’t blame you for dumping me into the hot springs,” I try to clarify, pushing aside the dark thoughts. “I survived thanks to you.”

But did everything survive? My hands drift to my pocket. With shaking fingers, I slide out my beloved tablet.

“Is it still working?” Volan asks, eyes watching me closely. “I didn’t think about the water… I’m sorry.”

I press down on the button, and the screen lights up. A sigh of relief escapes to see that it’s still functioning. To lose it would feel like losing a limb. It’s as much a part of me as my heart or soul.

“It works,” I tell him, shoulders loosening. “Technically, the manufacturer claims it’s waterproof to something like 100 feet in depth, but I’ve never been brave enough to actually test that.”

Even on Earth when it was more easily replaced, I hadn’t tested it. I’d been so afraid that my secret would have been discovered and that I would lose the one thing I hold so close to my heart. And now, on planet Atraxis… It’s not like it can be easily repaired out here in the middle of nowhere.

“The devices are rare,” Volan states. The way he glances at it only proves my suspicion that I’m not going to get a new one any time soon.

I follow him, shoes squelching and skirt sticking to my legs, as he leads me from the cavern we are in. Back to endless tunnels, rock pressing down on me from all sides.

“Back home, you could probably get a tablet like this from every corner shop,” I tell him. My tablet’s not anything particularly fancy. It’s actually kind of old. I’ve updated the RAM, replaced the hard drive with something bigger… but it’s not like it’s the latest model or anything. Not anymore.

He raises a brow, and I realize that despite my words, I’m clutching the metal rectangle to my chest like my life depends on it.

“It’s got sentimental value,” I explain to him as we walk. My throat feels tight, like the words are hard to voice. Even now, it feels hard to talk about it. “My mother gave it to me before she… passed.”

Did I ever give myself time to grieve her loss, I wonder? I don’t remember crying for her, at least not after her death. Things were too hectic, my life thrown into utter chaos.

At Volan’s silence, I blurt out, “She had cancer.”

My cheeks flare with heat, as I struggle to not feel so embarrassed. This is one of those awkward situations that I never know how much information is too much. Like does he even care about how she died? Whenever someone says they lost a loved one, others are curious, right? They just don’t want to upset you by asking how they died. That would be insensitive, after all.

To be honest, I don’t even know why I’m telling him. It’s not like I’ve ever told anyone before, not even my friends back at Eve’s Rest know. My past was always that—something I did my best to leave behind. It’s just… it’s always on my mind. The more I tried to forget about it, the worse it haunted me.

Am I a horrible person for not crying after my mother was gone? I watched over her for so long. I knew she was dying for a long time. Maybe that’s why I never cried for her, I think; I had time to prepare for that moment.

“She was sick a long time,” I explain. My mind returns to all those nights that I would sit beside her, watching over her as she drifted in and out of sleep. “She read to me when I was a child, so it only made sense that I read to her as an adult. It was a passion we shared together.” It was a passion I kept alive after. The one thing connecting me to her.

“Losing a progenitor is a hard thing,” Volan muses. “I too lost my mother, but that was at my birth. I do not remember her at all.”

“I’m sorry,” I tell him, sharing a commiserating smile. The pain is gone, left behind by this hollow ache that you are missing something in your life. You never fully heal, but you get to a point where you can move on, given enough time. And even then, you still have moments when you just expect to see them out of the corner of your eye.

Given that we are both dressed again, Volan leads me to the entrance and back out into the tunnels, our conversation pausing only for us to slip through the crack in the cave wall.

“At least you have her gift to remember her by,” Volan comments, looking over his shoulder at me. “I am very glad it was not destroyed by the water.”

“It wasn’t a gift,” I blurt out before I can stop myself. I huff in annoyance. The desire to talk to him is overwhelming. It’s like when I’m around him, everything I’ve kept bottled up inside is suddenly flowing out. All those walls I’ve erected, and he just casually knocks them down.

Coming to a standstill, I glare at my boot, scuffing the small rocks on the floor as I try to get my racing mind under control. Why am I acting like this? I’m used to being anxious, that fluttering of my heart that has tingles running throughout my limbs, but this right now… I’m all over the place. Sad, angry, frustrated, overwhelmed… I’m a jumble of emotions, and they are all desperate to escape. Why, of all things, do I want to talk to him about my past, about everything? Is it because we had sex? It was just sex! It didn’t mean anything…

I look up at Volan, who’s stopped only a few steps away. He watches me with a raised brow, his lips slightly curled. Everything about him looks so carefree. Something about him pushes and prods at me. He infuriates me. He draws me in like no one has ever done before.

“You can tell me if you want,” Volan says, voice quiet. “You can trust me.”

I’m so screwed, because the thing is… I really, really want to trust him.

Sometimes in life, we have to make a choice; to continue as we are, or to forge a new path. I’m unhappy—I have been for a long time, I realize—and I can continue this way, or I can take a leap and define a new me.

I’m scared, but fear doesn’t need to stop me. It doesn’t define me. I’ve been hurt in the past, but it isn’t fair to treat Volan with the same suspicion.

“I do,” I breathe, the sacred words a soft whisper from my trembling lips. “I trust you.”

And as I stare up at the male standing before me, eyes and skin burning an iridescent glow, I realize that I’ve been waiting for him to enter my life for so, so long. He’s my hope, shining bright.

I have to see this quest through. No matter what. But maybe, just maybe, Volan’s my happy ever after.