Page 20

Chapter Twenty

VOLAN

G uilt is a sensation I am wholly unfamiliar with. Yet it burns through my veins like liquid fire, scorching me from within as I watch Maya’s excitement grow with each step we take toward our destination. Her eyes shine with determination, her fingers clutching that beloved device of hers as it guides our way.

“Talking to you was a major weight off of my shoulders. Thank you. I should have gotten therapy years ago,” Maya laughs, tucking a curl of hair behind her ears. The way she glances at me from beneath her lashes, smiling gratefully…

She trusts me so completely that it makes my chest ache.

My steps clomp all the harder onto the rocks beneath my shoes, crumbling them into dust. Each step is almost painful, as if I am fighting my very muscles. My brain and body are at war with themselves, instincts demanding I care for Maya, while desire reminds me how close I am to my lifetime goal.

“Are we close?” Maya asks, her voice breathless with anticipation.

The weight of her story only makes this decision harder. Up ahead, the path splits; one direction leads directly to my kingdom, and the other to the location her map had marked.

“Soon,” I reply to her question, undecided. Since when have I ever faltered on a simple choice? For a ruler, this kind of indecision can lead to deaths and destruction… and yet for the first time in my life, Maya has me re-thinking everything.

“In all honesty,” Maya makes small talk as we travel, “when I set out on this quest… I admit that I was afraid. A strong part of me suspected that I wouldn’t be coming back.”

My steps falter as I listen to her so casually discuss how she expected to die. She knew the risks of leaving her village, and yet she still took them. She knew she wouldn’t likely ever see her village, her colony, ever again.

“Why?” I ask. “What was so important about coming here?”

“In my case, I don’t have a choice. I came to this planet for a new life. A fair life. One of my own making. If my people want to know what’s here, then it’s for a reason. I refuse to be used again.”

I breathe deep, letting my luminae flare bright. My fingers tremble as I stare at the junction before us.

A decision has to be made.

I can lead Maya to safety, present her to my father and people, claim her as my own… but wouldn’t I be just as bad as her people, the ones she has come to despise? Would she eventually run from me? Even though I’d chase her down—she would never escape me—it would tear me up inside to know she didn’t want to be with me as much as I crave every moment to be in her presence.

I want her to run to me, not from me.

The other option is to place her at great risk. To give her all the answers she needs and wants… and then watch her walk away. Because, knowing her, she won’t want to stay. Not after she knows the truth about me, about my people.

One of us is going to be destroyed, body and soul, and I have to decide if it’s me or her.

“Is this it?” Maya asks, coming to stand beside me. She squints down the two tunnels, eyeing the blackness with anticipation. Not a hint of fear or anxiety on her face.

Because she trusts me. To protect her, to guide her, to do the right thing by her.

And all this time, I’ve lied to her. I’ve hidden my identity from her, I’ve kept her in the dark about who my people are and the threat they pose to her own…

Maya gazes up at me as I stare down at her. She’s no longer the scared female I first encountered, frozen in terror at the marketplace. With each passing day, I’ve noticed her growing stronger, more capable.

“Are we here, Volan?” Maya prompts at my silence. She reaches out and slips her small hand into my hand, entwining our fingers, our very souls.

Just like that, I know that I have to keep my promise to her.

It’s the most logical option, after all. I can take her to where she wants to go, then we can visit my kingdom and father. The two aren’t mutually exclusive. This decision has nothing to do with the fact that Maya deserves this and that I want to be the one to see to her needs, to make her happy.

“We are near my home,” I tell her, voice gruff. I nod down the tunnel that I know like the lines on my palm.

How many times have I patrolled here, watching for intruders trying to steal what my people guard so zealously? And now, I bring one to our most sacred place… Am I betraying my people with this one act? All because I need a female to parade before my father?

I guide Maya the last stretch, tugging her along. I grip her fingers tightly, almost fearful that she’ll wrench them from me.

Because she will, once she knows…

It doesn’t take long for us to come to a standstill. The door before us is both inconspicuous and out of place—the metal is scratched, and it’s so rusted that it blends in with its surroundings. In the dim light, most would walk right past it without noticing. A perfect way to hide our secrets from prying eyes. At least the ones that manage to sneak past our patrols.

“Is that a door?” Maya asks. “I guess I had expected something… more.”

“Nervous?” I ask her, raising my brow. We’ve come all this way, and now suddenly she’s back to looking anxious. Nowhere near as anxious as I am though, as I realize that I’m going to have to talk to her. I’ll have to explain everything. Starting with what this place truly means to my people. The words lodge in my throat, choking me with their weight.

Maya approaches the door, pressing her hands against the cold metal surface. I watch as she pushes with all her might, trying to force it open. It doesn’t budge.

My chest tightens as I observe her determination, her stubborn refusal to accept defeat. Even now, when her quest has led her to a literal dead end, she persists.

“Would you like some help?” I ask, desperately trying and failing to keep the smirk from my face.

Of course, Maya glares at me. Her eyes accuse me of so many things, such as why I deem it necessary to ask her in the first place right through to implying she is incapable on her own.

“It might be easier if you help push, rather than just stand there, yes,” Maya replies with gritted teeth, still shoving her body weight against the unyielding metal.

“Why. Won’t. It. Budge?” She heaves, putting more of her body’s weight behind her efforts, her feet sliding across the dusty floor. With a growl she kicks at it. “It’s rusted shut!”

I chuckle, still amusedly watching her. The sound drifts over her in a way that makes her shiver—though whether from desire or annoyance, I can’t tell. Her wicked eyes, always challenging, flick to mine; but I don’t miss the way her cheeks darken as she becomes embarrassed.

“Allow me,” I tell her, pulling her aside with gentle hands, squeezing her arms with reassurance. “It’s pull, not push.”

Maya stares at me as I open the door with ease. It glides smoothly on its hinges, with barely any resistance whatsoever. There’s no groan of metal, no breaking through rust, and definitely no drag marks on the ground to indicate the door’s presence. My father would be furious if he knew that I was entering this room without his explicit permission. But then, my father would be furious about many things I’ve done recently.

“Oh for crying out loud!” Maya mutters. “I am a highly trained engineer. I design and build awesome tools and entire computer systems! How do you make everything look so easy? All I seem to ever do is look like a bumbling fool.”

“I adore everything about you, halvi.” I tell her. But ever one to see her twitch, to encourage that look of defiance, I add, “Just don’t trip on the step.”

I step through the doorway to the sound of Maya’s groan. The sound of frustration sends a thrill through me, reminding me of the noises she made when my body was hovering over hers, of every time I pushed deep inside of her.

“You drive me insane,” Maya mutters, lingering in the doorway. I don’t think she expects me to hear her, especially when she adds, “In all the right ways. Like seriously, I don’t know if I should slap that smirk off your face or strip you right here and now.”

That smirk grows bigger, splitting entirely across my face despite my efforts to contain it.

My little halvi is stronger than she thinks, and every time she stands up for herself, she gains confidence.

I step further into the room, leading the way. Suddenly, clinical white light flares around us as the panels on the ceiling begin to glow.

Maya gasps, eyes ping-ponging around the room as she takes it in.

Unlike the natural rock tunnel, this place is completely artificial. The floor is covered in dark tiles that don’t absorb light, smooth and buffed to an unnatural shine.

She takes in the wall of glass beakers and test tubes, the cluttered tables beneath them, the darkened monitors on the far wall.

Her confusion is palpable.

“Welcome to your destination,” I tell her, voice tight.

There’s no going back, I realize, for either of us. I have to tell Maya everything… including how she is now a risk to my people.

“But where is here? Or more importantly, what is here?” Her eyes search mine, demanding answers I’m reluctant to give.

I take a deep breath, steeling myself for what comes next.

“This is where my people make our medicine,” I tell her. “This lab is a secret place. Only a few people know its location.”

“Medicine?” Maya’s brow furrows as she processes this information. She looks around the room with new interest, trying to make sense of what she’s seeing. “But… but it’s a room in the middle of nowhere!”

“We’ve taken great efforts to destroy the man-made tunnels, to make the route we walked appear natural. All to avoid it being discovered.” I explain to her.

“Please explain something to me,” I say, turning to level my gaze at her. My heart beats furiously in my chest, and for the first time in my life I don’t care if my luminae is pulsing dramatically. “How did you have a detailed map to this lab? Very few know its location. Not even among my own people. And none of your people should at all.”

As gentle as I want to be with her with my line of questioning, I have to know the answers. The safety of my people, of potentially every single life on this planet, depends upon what she tells me. She doesn’t realize it, but if this information gets out, we could be facing mass murder or even extinction.

And I’m entirely responsible for what happens from here on out. I have to protect my people, my world, whether I like it or not. Love means nothing over duty.

I see the sudden realization in her eyes—the awareness that she’s in way over her head. Her desperation has led to foolishness. She’s followed a mysterious alien into the middle of nowhere. That she’s alone with me, and no one even knows where she is.

Her earlier words ring true—she definitely won’t be returning to her colony.

I hate myself in this moment. I hate that I’ve made her afraid, when all I’ve wanted is to protect her.

When did my quest become so twisted? When did I become the very thing I despise—a male who manipulates others for his own gain?

“I can trust you, right?” Maya asks, eyes wide. Genuine fear sliding across her face. “It’s not like we’re enemies or anything… right?”

I stare down at my mate, so much unsaid between us, knowing that I am the same as every villain in her life.