Page 70 of Trapper Road

A life where I didn’t have to always look over my shoulder, expecting some psycho to come out of the woodwork after me.

Of course, the moment I start to believe all of this is possible it all gets snatched away. Isn’t that always the case? Hasn’t that been the story of my life since the day they discovered Sam’s sister’s body hanging in our garage?

It’s not fair. But when has my life ever been fair?

“I’ll just stay here. I’ll be fine.” Even as I say it, I know it’s a no-go. There’s no way in hell Sam would ever leave me in a strange town alone. Even if he might consider such a thing, Mom would go ballistic at the mere suggestion.

To give him credit, he looks genuinely apologetic. “You know I can’t leave you on your own.”

I know it’s pointless, but still I argue. “Why can’t Mom go?”

“She’s working. She has obligations. Plus, she’s farther away.”

I clench my hands into fists by my side. I’m very aware of the crowd surrounding us, that anyone could be listening in. I know I need to keep calm, and not cause a scene, and that makes this whole situation seem even more unfair.

Other kids get to break the rules. Other kids get to go out and get drunk and dance with strangers and yell when they’re angry. But not me.

Never me.

“But prospective students weekend isn’t over. Heather’s taking me to a concert on campus with friends from her lab, and then we’re going to a bonfire after. She says it’s one of the most fun parties of the year.”

“I’m sorry, Lanta.” He remembers to use the name I gave when I registered and that somehow makes it worse. Because I’m only Lanta Cade here and the moment I leave campus, that girl will no longer exist. Nor will the future I always imagined for her. My real life will always intrude, no matter where I go and who I try to pretend to be.

To my horror, tears well in my eyes and one of them escapes, trailing down my cheek. I refuse to cry in public. I refuse to be that kind of vulnerable around strangers.

“I hate you right now,” I hiss. I don’t mean it. Of course I don’t hate Sam. I’m sure deep down he understands that, but still the words make him wince. His entire face collapses, and for a moment I’m glad that he’s feeling the same kind of pain he’s causing me.

I’ll regret saying it. I’m sure I’ll apologize for it later. But right now I spin on my heel and stalk out of the party. I don’t bother trying to find Heather and saying goodbye. I don’t know how to explain to her why I’m leaving without also explaining about Melvin Royal and our family being a constant target.

Once I confess that, her image of me will shift irrevocably. I’ll never be Lanta Cade, I’ll be the serial killer’s daughter.

I’ve known for a long time that life isn’t fair. Sometimes, though, it hits me harder than others. This is one of those times.

20

GWEN

Once I reach town, I pull up in front of the coffee shop to find Connor and Vee already waiting for me outside. The minute Connor sees my face he knows something’s happened.

The blood drains from his face. “What’s wrong? Is Lanny okay?”

I give him my best reassuring smile, but it must not be convincing because it does nothing to ease his concern. “She’s fine,” I tell him. “Sam too.”

“Then what?” he presses.

I blow out a breath. “Something’s happened at the Stillhouse Lake house. They think there was an accident and that someone was hurt.”

His forehead furrows. “Who? What happened?”

Connor has dealt with enough bloodshed over the past few days that I don’t feel the need to go into too much detail. “That’s what they’re trying to figure out. Sam and Lanny are on their way down there right now. Hopefully, we’ll know more tomorrow.”

Vee pushes forward from the backseat. “Lanny’s going? What about her fancy college weekend thing?”

“She’s going to have to miss some of it.”

Vee whistles. “She ain’t gonna be happy about that.”

“Are we also going back there?” Connor asks. His knee bounces anxiously.