Page 109 of Trapper Road

“What about her?”

“I’ve seen the way you look at her. You gonna tell Lanny you met another girl?”

She shrugs. “Lanny knows.”

I cross my arms, angry with Vee all over again. “You sure about that?”

Her expression turns stormy. “Things with Lanny and me are complicated. And none of your business.”

“It is my business if you hurt her.”

Her eyes narrow, and the look she gives me is borderline feral. “I would never hurt Lanny. Never.”

“Sure. Unless it’s inconvenient for you. It’s always you first. Everyone knows that.”

She reacts as if I’ve struck her. I don’t take it back.

I don’t know why I’m being so mean to Vee. I’m angry at her for pointing out the truth I’ve been desperate to avoid: I’ve finally found this girl that I like and who likes me and I’m going to lose her, the same way I lose everything that matters to me.

The way I lost my father, my name, my house, my life, my best friend, my privacy. Everything keeps getting stripped from me, and Willa was one of the few things that made me feel whole and normal. I can talk to her about anything, and she doesn’t judge me. Unlike Mom, she doesn’t look at me with horror when I talk about my dad. And when I texted her last night what Mom told me about Kevin blaming me for the shooting, she became outraged on my behalf, like she was willing to go to war for me.

I like having someone on my side like that. Someone who’s there because she chooses to be rather than out of familial obligation. I’ve never had people like that in my life. There was Kevin, of course, but look how that turned out. I thought I knew him, but clearly, I didn’t. Clearly, he was hiding all sorts of things from me.

Not like Willa. She tells me everything.

And I’m going to lose her.

It’s all so fucking unfair.

“You’ve been through a lot, Connor, I get that,” Vee says, her voice cold and even. “But that don’t give you a right to be an asshole.” With that she grabs her messenger bag and leaves, slamming the door behind her.

I let out a growl of frustration. Vee didn’t deserve that, and I know I owe her an apology, but I can’t find it in me just yet. Instead I text Willa.

Connor: Mom just took off, you want to meet up?

Willa: Yes! I was just thinking of you! Where did she go?

Connor: No idea, just said she’d be gone a while.

Willa: Hmmm… I’d feel better if I knew where she went. Then we’d know for sure how much time we have. I don’t want to get started on something we can’t finish.

She adds a wink emoji, and my skin turns to fire. I flash to the party in the woods, and her hand guiding mine under the hem of her dress. Her promise that she wasn’t done with me.

I scramble into Mom’s room and find her laptop sitting open on the bed. I toggle the keyboard, waking it, and her password prompt appears. It took me a long time to figure out her password, and the first few times I used it, I felt guilty. I knew Mom would be furious if she found out, but I also knew she had information about Dad on there and I wanted access to it.

I’ve used it enough times now that I don’t even give it a second thought — my fingers fly across the keyboard, and the screen comes to life in response. I pull up her web browser and reopen the last closed tab. A map of North Carolina fills the screen. I notice a location flag and zoom in until I can read the name of the nearest landmark.

Connor: She’s going somewhere in the state forest — some place off Trapper Road? Map says it will take her over an hour to get there. So we have plenty of time.

I add my own wink emoji. There’s a long pause before Willa answers.

Willa: Sorry, Mandy called. She said she needs to talk ASAP. She wants to meet up.

I’m startled by the abrupt shift in conversation.

Connor: Now?

Willa: She sounded upset. She said it’s about what happened to Juliette.