Page 25

CHAPTER 25

“A ll right, Sassy,” I say as the perky poltergeist makes her presence known to Ransom and me, right here in the crew lounge. “Let’s hear all the dirty deets you’ve got on this latest homicide. You can start with everything you know about Brad and Elvie Whipple.”

“Oh honey .” Sassy settles into her seat across from us—albeit floating—while making quick work of a freshly baked white chocolate chip and macadamia nut cookie that’s far more chips and nuts than it ever is a cookie. Have I mentioned that they’re perfection personified? “Where should I even start?” She sighs. “The whole thing is messier than a romance novel written by a divorce lawyer.”

Ransom squeezes my hand as he nods her way. “Start with Elvie,” he suggests. “And we can work our way down from there.”

“Elvie Whipple.” Sassy sighs. “She’s a sweet woman and one of my best friends, but she has terrible taste in men. Both of her husbands were pieces of work if you ask me. But at least the first one just ignored her. Brad, however?” She shakes her head. “That man had more secrets than a confessional booth.”

“Like what?” I ask while squeezing Ransom’s hand for good measure.

“Like the fact he was bleeding money from the cosmetics company. Small amounts at first, then bigger sums. Elvie didn’t seem to notice. She was too busy trying to keep her sons from self-destructing. But I noticed. I worked with the books, after all.”

Ransom and I exchange a look. I know he’s thinking what I’m thinking.

Is Brad Whipple the reason Sassy had to vacate her corporal frame?

I clear my throat. “Did you confront him?”

“I tried to.” Sassy snorts, sending miniature sparkling stars through the air. “That’s when things got messy. He threatened to tell Elvie that I was the one embezzling. He had the paperwork all set up to frame me if I didn’t keep my mouth shut.” She pauses to shudder and more pink stars emit from her. “I bit the big one before it came to that, obviously.”

“I’m sorry to hear it,” Ransom says, nodding in her general direction. “Sassy, I have to ask, how exactly did you die?”

“Anaphylactic shock,” she says without hesitation. “It turns out, I was allergic to peanuts. I avoided them all my life. Everyone knew about my allergy. My mother always said to put it out there in the event someone tosses some peanuts into a dish at the potluck. But well, it didn’t do a lot to protect me in the end. In fact, I’m not even sure what I ate that last day that had them in it. Regardless, it turned out to be a lethal amount.” She shrugs and more sparkles explode all around her. “But you know what they say, when the earthly jig is up— you go up. That is, unless you go down. And from what I’ve heard, you don’t want anything to do with the room downstairs. Besides, all that heat would be murder on my hair.” She gives her crimson locks a quick bounce with her hand.

“What do you know about Becky Lee?” I ask. “When I was speaking to her earlier, you mentioned you amassed plenty of her murder merch.”

“Did I ever.” She rolls her eyes. “And don’t think Brad gave me a discount on it either. But it was so delicious I couldn’t get enough of it. No one could. Elvie used to say it was the murder merch that drew the crowds to their podcast events more than Brad or Elvie themselves. In fact, they were so profitable, Brad and Becky Lee set up a website to sell to the public. Apparently, it was pretty lucrative.”

“I bet,” I say, before turning to Ransom. “Becky Lee told me all about the cute catchphrases she’s emblazoned on everything from tote bags to T-shirts.” I blow out a breath. “She also told me all about the trouble she’s having at home with her husband. It sounds like there might be some emotional abuse going on there. But she’s working on getting him into counseling.”

Ransom tips his head. “I know for a fact he’s here on the ship with her. I spoke with him earlier. Here’s hoping this trip can help reset them as a couple, and reset him as a husband. Although I’m guessing he needs more than a vacation to set him straight.”

“You got that right,” I say. “Who else should we ask about?”

“Reed Williams,” Ransom says without hesitation. “I know all about the haunted house ventures he had with Brad. What do you know about the guy, Sassy?”

“What don’t I know.” She gives a low gurgle of a laugh. “Let’s just say some of those bedroom moves I saw the two of you pull off—well, Reed and I pulled off a few just like it.” She twists her lips as she inspects Ransom. “Although I’ll admit, his moves weren’t quite as smooth or spicy as yours.” She shoots me a look. “What are you waiting for? You have a perfectly empty lounge to defile. Now go on, get busy. I’ve been taking notes on all the good stuff. And believe me when I say, it’s all good stuff.”

I concur, but I don’t dare say that to her—although, let’s face it, she already knows.

Now it’s me shooting her a look—a dirty one at that. “Continue with what you know about Reed.”

“Fine.” She gives a dramatic sigh. “I told him about the fact Brad was siphoning funds from Luscious and Delicious. And he thought something was off with the finances in their haunted house venture, too.”

“And what did he discover?” Ransom doesn’t hesitate to ask.

“I don’t know, I applied a little too much lip gloss and ended up at a singles mingle in Paradise. Let’s just say relationships are a little more genuine up there. And don’t worry about that whole there-is-no-marriage-in-Heaven thing. The real beauty is, it’s not needed because once you find your true soul mate, the two of you simply choose one another each and every day.”

“I’ve heard that before,” I say as I blink back tears. “I think that’s so very beautiful.”

Ransom kisses the back of my hand. “I’ll choose you forever.”

“I’ll hold you to it,” I say, kissing his hand right back. “For all eternity.”

“Well, go on and get busy.” Sassy giggles as she scoops up a handful of cookies. “You’ve got a honeymoon to get back to. Keep those kisses coming and maybe lose a few clothes, would you?” She munches away on her sweet treats as if they were popcorn.

Ransom groans. “I hate to burst your bubble, Sassy, but we’re not interested in an audience.”

I shake my head her way. “Especially not a very enthusiastic audience who takes notes.”

Sassy strikes a pose that would make a Vegas showgirl proud. “I prefer the term thorough observer . But if you’re going to be a couple of prudes about it, I’m headed back to that uppity ice cream shop. I believe there’s a Rocky Road waffle sundae with my name on it. Oh, and don’t forget, Elvie and Reed are hosting a big get-together tomorrow afternoon for those crime aficionados who hopped on this boat with them. It’s going to be a killer good time. And I bet the killer will be there, too.”

She up and disappears and I gasp at Ransom. “We will be there with bells on.”

He frowns my way. “I don’t suppose there’s any way to stop you.”

I shake my head. “And there’s no way to stop me from having my way with you right here, right now, either.”

“Right here?” He inches back and a devilish grin curves on his lips.

“This is the crew lounge,” I point out, biting down on a grin of my own. “Any one of the ship’s employees can walk in at any given moment. Which makes it extra exciting. Besides, I just got an all-clear from the infirmary and I think we should celebrate.”

I pull Ransom into a dark corner and have my way with him indeed without an STD, or a voyeuristic ghost anywhere in the vicinity.

Sometimes solving a murder requires following leads, sometimes it requires following your heart, and sometimes—if you’re really lucky—it requires doing both at the exact same time.

Ransom Courtland Baxter has smooth moves indeed.

There’s a killer out there who thinks they’re pretty smooth, too, but both Ransom and I are about to prove them wrong.

And then we’re going to arrest them.