Page 12

CHAPTER 12

“A honeymoon on a cruise ship must be magical.” Elvie’s eyes light up as she looks my way right here in the middle of the Luscious and Lethally Delicious Beauty Brunch. “Who’s the lucky guy? Don’t tell me you married the captain. You’re certainly pretty enough to land any man on this ship.”

“Actually, I married the head of vessel security.” I cringe a little when I say it.

Should I have confessed my proximity to the ship’s detective so soon in the investigation? I’m guessing not. But I blame Tinsley for the investigative blunder.

“Oh wow.” Elvie pauses from her whirlwind of brush strokes. “Detective Ransom Baxter? Why, I spoke with him last night. My, my , he is a hunky hunk if ever there was one. No wonder you look so exhausted.” She chortles out a laugh. “And not to mention dressed for success. I’ll admit, when I saw your evening gown, I thought maybe you dressed up for my event. Heaven knows that dressing up seems to be a dying art these days. I’ve had more women stumble into my shop in pajamas than I care to count. It’s as if our entire society wants to lounge around in bed all day—and it shows.”

A titter of laughter escapes me. “I can’t say I blame them, but only because I get to lounge around with my new handsome hubby.”

“Speaking of which”—Sassy says while inspecting her glossy red nails—“can we hurry with the shakedown? I’m missing that handsome new hubby of yours myself. I’ve never seen a wall of muscles perform so well. And the way he?—”

“Well, regardless”—Elvie interrupts the pesky poltergeist before she can offer me a play-by-play, which I, of all people, do not need—“you certainly look dressed for success.”

“More like dressed for excess ,” Tinsley mutters while Elvie brushes some lipstick onto her kisser.

“Speaking of success, Trixie.” Sassy fans herself with a glowing hand. “That honeymoon of yours is off the charts. Trust me, the two of you are already very successful together.”

I wink her way because I happen to agree.

“Anyway, congratulations,” Elvie adds as she quickly brushes some color onto my lips as well. “And I do apologize. I imagine our little murder interrupted your romantic getaway.” She takes her thumb and begins to blend my cheeks so hard I’m convinced she’s going to leave a bruise.

“Oh, she’s still getting plenty of romance,” Sassy pipes up. “I’d give them a solid nine-point-eight for last night’s performance. It would have been a perfect ten, but someone got tangled in the sheets.”

“Tangled in the sheets!” Elvie bubbles with a laugh and I straighten in horror.

I gasp hard.

Oh my word!

It turns out that if someone—anyone—is touching my flesh, well, then they can hear the dead, too. I’m sort of like a bad game of telephone in that respect—or more to the point, a very good game of telephone. One that specializes in long distance calls.

“You know”—Elvie turns to Tinsley—“you sounded just like my old friend Sassy when you said that.”

Thankfully, Tinsley’s eyes are sealed shut and she seems to have no idea what Elvie is rambling on about, or even the fact that she’s addressing her.

“May I ask what happened to your old friend Sassy?” I ask. I may as well get to the bottom of that mystery, too. After all, something did the woman in. And judging by her youthful face, it did her in well before her prime.

Elvie’s mouth opens as if to say something but closes just as fast as if she’s thought better of it.

“Let’s just say she met a rather tragic end.” Elvie casts a mournful look right at Sassy as if she, too, could see the deceased. “It was unexpected and I still miss her dearly each and every day.”

I turn to the specter among us.

A tragic end? It looks as if I have another mystery on my hands indeed.

“But marrying a detective—” Elvie fans herself with her fingers. “And such a good-looking one at that, I can imagine you’re quite the crime-solving duo.”

My cheeks warm at the thought. “Yes, well, solving crimes seems to be part of my marriage package.”

“Along with other packages,” Sassy adds with a wicked grin. “I just can’t wait to get back to that man. Can’t you put a rush on this?”

“I’m almost done,” Elvie says, picking up another fluffy brush and I shoot the pushy poltergeist a look. “And now for the grand finale…” Elvie gives a little laugh. “Have either of you tried our new Drop Dead Gorgeous Highlighter?” She holds up a compact that sparkles like glitter-laden evidence under a white-hot spotlight. “It’s not only delicious, it’s to die for.”

“Of course, I have.” Tinsley is quick to kiss the ring. “And I love that you worked the theme of the podcast into the names of your products. That’s so very clever.”

“Yes, my marketing team really leaned into the whole murder theme, didn’t they?” Elvie gives a light chuckle. “In fact, it was my old friend Sassy who thought up Murder She Wrote Mascara and Killer Queen Contour Kit.”

“I sure did.” Sassy glows with pride. Like really, really glows. “Remember when we created the Fatally Flawless Foundation? That was actually my idea, too. Although Brad tried to take credit for it. He was sure good at taking credit for things.” Her glowing eyes narrow at the thought.

I look over at the table next to me and spot a product called Last Words Lip Gloss in a shade called Confession Pink and wonder if someone is trying to tell us something. More to the point, the suspect before me.

I clear my throat. “Elvie, I’ll be honest, I just don’t know how you’re handling everything right now,” I say, steering the conversation toward less cosmetic matters. However, on this ship, cosmetics and crime seem to go hand in perfectly manicured hand.

Elvie’s smile slips a fraction. “As well as can be expected. Brad and I, well, like every relationship, we had our bumps and bruises. But my goodness, I loved that man.”

“More bumps than bruises,” Sassy interjects and I gasp at the revelation. Although I’m not sure why I’m surprised, I seemed to witness a few myself.

Tinsley leans toward Elvie. “Was he having trouble with anyone?” She manages to keep her tone gentle as if she’s asking about the weather instead of potential killers. Tinsley being gentle about anything is sort of an anomaly in itself. “Any recent arguments or threats?” she continues.

Okay, I’ll give it to her, she’s good at getting to the point.

“Brad made enemies,” Elvie admits, fiddling with a tube of lipstick and glancing at the bottom. “Homicide Red.” She wags the color at us. “That seems appropriate.” She quickly dusts some on both my lips and Tinsley’s. “Brad solved cold cases in his spare time. He did a lot of digging. That tends to upset guilty people.” She glares at me when she says it. “I don’t really know of anyone in particular who might have been after revenge. But let’s see…”—she sighs, looking out at the room—“Oh, why, I think Becky Lee Darling might know more.” She nods to the back of the room. “She handled all of his promotional inventory and swag. I think she did some organizational work and light accounting for him, too. In fact, she spent a lot of time with him these last few weeks getting ready for this trip. We brought so much of that murder merch junk along to give away to the kind people who joined us. I’ll admit, some of it is cute and clever. And if she can’t help out with the case, you can always speak with Reed. That’s Brad’s business partner, Reed Williams. They’ve been friends longer than I’ve known Brad. This was the second marriage for both of us. Anyway, both Becky Lee and Reed seem to have spent more time with Brad lately than I did.”

“So you really think it could be anyone?” Tinsley presses, while Elvie absentmindedly brushes some eyeshadow on us both. Tinsley’s eyeshadow is a dark and moody shade of blue and matches her sourpuss expression perfectly.

“All I know is there’s a lunatic among us.” Elvie’s hand trembles as she puts the brush down. “Someone who thought murder was the answer to whatever problem they had with Brad. I don’t know anyone who would come to that conclusion.” She casts a dark look to the sea as if she thought differently on the subject.

I study Elvie’s face, searching for any crack in her perfectly powdered facade. Is she really the grieving widow, or is this just another stellar performance from a woman who’s made a fortune selling beautiful illusions? Everything about her screams perfection, but it does make me wonder if her Fatally Flawless Foundation is doing its best to fool me.

After all, in the cosmetics game, everything comes down to appearances. And sometimes the most flawless finish is hiding the deadliest secrets.

We wrap it up and Elvie takes off for the buffet on the hunt for some hot java.

Both Tinsley and I turn to look at one another and belt out a scream at the very same time.

“You look like a clown,” I cry in horror at the punchy spots of color on her cheeks and lips, not to mention the fact her eyes look like two large bruises.

“Oh honey”—Tinsley shakes her head as she inspects me—“the circus has come to town and it has not left you off the roster. She even penciled in a bright blue tear running down your cheek!”

“That’s actually her signature beauty mark,” Sassy shrugs. “She thinks it adds a touch of pizzazz to the face.”

“Wonderful,” I say as we rise from our seats to meet with other far too colorful women among us. “We can always wash this off, but there’s a killer out there with blood on their hands and that’s going to leave a permanent stain on their record if I have anything to say about it.”

Tinsley nods. “That’s exactly why we need to question our next suspect.”

I glance around the room, and sure enough, I spot the stocky brunette with a dusting of gray locks as she steps right out of the lounge.

She might be out of our grasp for now, but, Becky Lee Darling, we’re coming for you.