Page 11

CHAPTER 11

T he Luscious and Lethally Delicious Beauty Brunch swirls around us in a cloud of perfume, primping, and an annoying level of perkiness from the beauty brand ambassadors ready and willing to ambush anything that moves with a blush brush.

Classical music floats through the Coral Crown Lounge like champagne bubbles, mingling with the scent of vanilla and something fruity that I’m pretty certain started life as a face cream.

Women crowd the makeover stations, while others sample what look to be ordinary pastries, and are, in fact, high-end cosmetics. I’m still trying to decide if it’s a case of brilliant marketing or a lawsuit waiting to happen. Perhaps both.

Tinsley and I weave through the crowd toward Elvie Whipple, who happens to be holding court next to a display of products with names that sound like they were dreamed up at a true crime convention. Kiss Me Deadly Lip Stain sits next to Mortally Gorgeous Face Powder, while Scrumptious Suspect Zero Setting Spray promises to keep your makeup intact during police lineups. And part of me is wondering if this upcoming conversation will lead to the police department indeed.

“Oh my stars and murder mysteries, how I miss this!” Sassy, AKA Titsiana Genevieve Forenza, materializes beside me in a shower of hot pink stars with her spectral form vibrating with enough excitement to make the chandeliers shiver. “These launches were always so much fun. Although I have to say, the afterlife has much better catering. And the dress code? Well, it’s to die for.” She winks at her own joke. “Get it, die ? I’m technically dead by earthly standards. But let me be the first to tell you that death is more or less a lie.”

I shoot her a curt nod.

Indeed, after being visited by almost a dozen ghosts, I’ve surmised the fact death is more of a gateway than it is an eternal dirt nap. I’d let her know as much, but seeing that Tinsley is right next to me, I bite back a response. The last thing I need is her thinking I’m talking to myself while we interrogate a suspect. Heaven knows she’s already questioned my sanity on more than one occasion.

Believe me, so have I.

“ Ooh , look at that dreamy display,” Sassy says while zipping right through a tower of cosmetics, with each package shaped like a pastel macaron cookie. “The cherry-flavored Crime Scene Cleanup concealer was my suggestion. Brad hated it—he said it was too on the nose. Speaking of noses, you should try the Alibi-Proof Powder in coconut. It really works to keep down the shine. I mean, it worked when I had a nose. And now I can’t stop shining.” Her entire countenance brightens a notch as if to prove her point.

We come upon the guest of honor, and my suspect of honor, the newly minted widow herself.

Elvie glows in her bright pink suit almost as bright as Sassy. Her auburn waves match her stark red lipstick, and juxtaposed to her pale skin it looks almost garish.

Funny, I don’t remember her looking so pale yesterday. But I suppose that’s what a night of grieving will get you. Even though she and Brad had exchanged a few barbs yesterday, certainly she loved him.

Thoughts of my ex come back to me. Stanton Troublefield had been trouble for the twenty-five years I was married to him. Sure, he cheated at every turn, unbeknownst to me, and he got on my very last nerve nearly every single minute—something I was very well aware of—but I’d grieve him if someone suddenly plunged a knife into his back.

Wouldn’t I?

Even a little?

But then, I could have easily plunged that knife into his back myself. And the only person I would have been grieving for would’ve been me—in fear I’d be carted off to prison.

“Elvie!” I paste on a manufactured smile, the kind that screams I’m certainly not here to accuse you of murder . “So nice to see you again. We met yesterday. Although with everything you’ve been through, I’m sure you don’t remember.”

“Of course, I remember you.” Elvie’s perfectly lined lips curve upward and her features soften as she says it. Her brown eyes are the color of root beer and they look as warm as can be. “You’re the one who solves all the crimes around here.” She turns to Tinsley and picks up her hands. “And I certainly know who you are—you’re the superfan.”

“That I am.” Tinsley puffs up like a peacock at a beauty contest—if that beauty contest ended in a homicide. And if she puffed up any more, she’d float away. A part of me wishes she would. I’m not sure how I feel teaming up in an investigation with Tinsley.

Besides, I’ve already teamed up with Ransom and Wes. I think.

“We’re so sorry about what happened to your husband,” I say to Elvie and her chest expands and quivers.

“Yes, I’m so very sorry as well.” She closes her eyes for a moment. “But, like I mentioned earlier, he would have wanted me to go on with things.” She waves an arm around the room. “Despite our differences, he was my biggest cheerleader when it came to my little cosmetics empire.”

“It’s true.” Sassy ticks her head to the side. “But it’s most likely not for the reasons Elvie might think.”

I gasp as I look at the waifish wraith.

I’ll have to quiz Sassy later on exactly why she’d say something like that.

“What’s the matter?” Elvie leans my way. “You’re not having a reaction to the food, are you?” Her mouth rounds out in horror as if this were a real possibility.

“Oh no,” I say, quickly looking around for a grounded reason for my reaction and spot Bess and Nettie getting their faces dusted with sparkling rouge and bright blue eyeshadow.

Oh my word, they both look like clowns!

I clear my throat. “I was just looking at all the wonderful makeover transformations taking place.”

Honestly, I’m a little shocked at how easily I spilled the lie.

“Oh please, girls.” Elvie motions to a couple of empty chairs next to her. “Take a seat. I’d be glad to give you both a makeover. In fact, it will help me a ton—you know, with the grief. I just need to take my mind off of things until this ship gets to port. I can’t believe this awful thing happened, and here I am stuck on a cruise ship for the next week and a half.”

“Well, if you really don’t mind,” I say, shrugging at Tinsley and we both promptly plop in a chair.

“ Ooh. ” Sassy floats before us. “You are in for a treat. No one knows their way around Luscious and Delicious cosmetics like the queen of beauty herself. You’re both going to look like royalty once she’s through with you.”

Here’s hoping.

I cast a side glance back at Bess and Nettie and see that they’re having their lips drawn in at exaggerated angles.

Oh, good grief. The only position in a royal court those poor women are fit for is the part of court jesters.

“I hope you like lots of glam,” Elvie says as she begins to brush a liquid foundation on us, alternating from Tinsley to me. And is she using the same brush?

Tinsley and I have very different skin tones. Maybe this is one of those self-adjusting foundations. Not that I believe in their ability to adjust across such a vast spectrum.

Tinsley’s skin has a constant warm glow, while on most days I look as if I’ve crawled out from under a rock.

“I just love glam,” Tinsley says as she lifts her face toward Elvie’s artist brush strokes. “In fact, I think I’ll get dolled up later now that I’ll be looking my best and see if I can’t find me a man to entertain.”

Entertain?

I shoot Tinsley a look, but she’s stoically staring at the ceiling.

Sassy snorts. “If she finds herself a man to entertain, I’ll be entertaining myself by pulling up a front-row seat.”

I can’t help but frown at the glib ghost for thinking it, let alone speaking it out loud. Although, as far as the bedroom peanut gallery goes, she’s already done as much with me.

Hey? Maybe Tinsley and her man can take the spotlight off of Ransom and me for a while?

Hand to Heaven, Tinsley would be my new best friend if she could pull off that feat.

“ Ooh , looks as if there’s a man on the horizon.” Elvie bucks with a laugh as she slathers a hot pink blush all over Tinsley’s cheeks. “How about you, Trixie? How will you be entertaining yourself? If I remember correctly, you’re the ship’s unofficial investigator. And, well, now it seems we all have something to investigate.”

“Trixie is on her honeymoon,” Tinsley answers for me. “But I’d be happy to take on the investigation.”

“Oh, that’s right,” Elvie coos, and if I didn’t know better, I think she looks relieved.

As for Tinsley’s proclamation of taking over the investigation…

I shoot the perky cruise director a wry look. I have a feeling that’s exactly what she plans on doing.