Page 77 of Too Old for This

The rest of the room is a mess. Unmade bed, towels flung everywhere, a bottle of vodka on the dresser. It’s right next to the tonic, a basket of minibar snacks, and a stack of plastic cups.

Norma has enough clothes for at least a week, and everything about her wardrobe screams comfortable. The slacks have elastic waistbands, all the shirts are loose around the middle, her shoes have built-in arches. I can relate. Clothes that bind got old a long time ago.

On the nightstand, she has a charger and a stack of printed flyers about Plum. I plug in her phone but can’t get into it. Not yet.

Her mess extends into the bathroom. Toiletries and makeup everywhere, along with all kinds of prescription bottles. Antidepressant. Antianxiety. Antinausea. Antifungal. Anti-inflammatory.

Staging a drug overdose would be perfect if Norma’s head wasn’t bashed in.

My options are limited. I can’t repeat what I did with Plum and abandon her car at the airport. It’s not even a rental. And I can’t stage an accident in the bathtub or anywhere else. Not the way her head looks. Too obvious. For Kelsie, it wasn’t.

Time to get creative.

That word makes me cringe.Creativeis not good when it comes to murder. My general rule is to stick with what works.Don’t get fancy. Don’t stray off the beaten path. I know this better than anyone.

In a perfect world, the rules work. But my world is getting too messy, too risky, and too many people are disappearing after they come to my house. Correction: Too many people areshowing upat my house. And they all think I’m a murderer.

My only advantage now is a bit of time. Norma wasn’t supposed to leave town yet. According to the hotel confirmation stuffed in her suitcase, she has this room for another three days.

Three days. I can work with that.

CHAPTER 42

The thought of carving up Norma’s body gets me out of bed the next morning. No matter what else happens, the body needs to vanish. That’s nonnegotiable.

So much needs to be done after a murder. So many boring, mundane details can’t be skipped. Like the nonsense with the gadgets, the belongings, the car. It’s all tedious, and yet you cannot delay. The world almost moves too fast to get away with murder.

No wonder there are so few of us left. We’re dinosaurs.

Out in the garage, Norma is frozen solid. No leaking fluids, no bad smells. Her body is more palatable this way. I can take my time carving it up. The process has become meditative—the buzz of the chain saw, all those short, quick cuts. I stop only to wrap up the pieces in butcher paper.

But it wasn’t always this way. The first time was a disaster. I was anxious and nervous, and the body wasn’t fully frozen. Which I didn’t know until a spray of blood hit.

The second time was better. I learned to wear a safety shield. By the third time, I started to appreciate how fascinating it was to start with a body and turn it into something different. The final trick is making it disappear forever. Like it never existed.

One way or another, I suppose we all end up like that.

—

Ms.Marcia:Hope you enjoyed your visit to Tranquil Towers yesterday. Please let me know if you have any questions or if I can be of assistance.

Tom Wallace:Oak Manor is having an open house event tomorrow evening. If you’re interested in attending, I’ll make sure your name is on the guest list.

Sheila:Want to come over to try out some new recipes for Thursday?

I am so popular today. It would be flattering if two of the three weren’t trying to sell me something. Sheila, on the other hand, wants me to stop bringing store-bought snacks to bingo. She really needs another hobby. The crafting and cooking aren’t enough.

I imagine the police raiding my house, finding Norma’s cut-up body while I’m at Sheila’s making mini quiches.

Lottie:Sorry, can’t do it today.

Sheila:Fine.

But that’s not all. One more message is waiting.

Morgan:Did Archie talk to you yet? Please call when you have the chance.

She texted last night, too. I was a little busy with Norma, and I still am. Morgan isn’t my daughter-in-law yet, so she’ll have to wait a bit longer. I put on Norma’s jacket and a hat pulled down low, then head over to the Harmony Hotel.