Page 13

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Tony drove to the north side of the city, pulling to the front of a small house next to the river. The house sat up on a hill and as his gaze roamed over the area he smiled, letting the familiarity settle over him.

The door, unlocked as usual, opened easily as he let himself in.

“Dad?” he called, walking into the living room seeing the older man sitting in a recliner in front of the TV.

“Son? I didn’t know you were coming for a visit,” his father answered, as he moved out of his chair. Standing, he embraced Tony before moving to the kitchen to grab another beer. “Sit yourself down,” he said as he walked back into the room.

Tony settled onto the worn sofa, twisting the cap off of the beer as his father sat back in his recliner. The two men drank their beers in silence for a few minutes, both knowing the words would come when the time was right. Tony’s gaze moved from the TV to his father, still in good health and looking very much like an older version of himself. Tall, with now graying hair but the same brown eyes. Alvarez Eyes his mother always said.

After another moment, his father lifted the remote turning the sound down. “You ready to talk, son?”

Smiling, Tony knew that his dad was fully aware that he had not just dropped by. “You always could read me, couldn’t you?” he said.

“It’s what parents do,” came the easy answer, then a quick look of sorrow crossed his father’s face. “I’m sorry, son,” he apologized.

The slicing pain that Tony expected from any comment about parents and children did not come. A dull ache was in his heart, but he just sighed, saying, “It’s okay, dad. I can’t resent others being parents just because that was taken from me.”

A silence ensued once more, this one slightly less comfortable. Rubbing his hand over his face, Tony blurted, “I’ve found someone dad.”

His father’s sharp eyes cut over to Tony’s face. When no other statement came forward, he prompted, “And…?”

“I’ve already fucked it up.”

“This woman like you too?”

Tony leaned forward, placing his forearms on his knees, hanging his head. “Yeah.”

“Then I’d say you haven’t really fucked anything up too badly that can’t be repaired, son.”

“I never thought I’d find someone after Marla. I sure as hell wasn’t looking,” he said shaking his head.

“You’re a young man, Tony. You had love once, but no reason to think you can’t have it again. Your mother, God rest her soul, would be singing from the rafters to know you had found a woman again.”

Tony thought of his mom who passed away two years earlier after a long battle with cancer. His dad was right…his mom would have wanted him to be happy, but at the time all he could do was grieve. For her…for Sofia…for Marla. Death had stalked him, or so it seemed. Rubbing his hand over his face again, he turned toward his dad once again.

“I met her a year ago on a rescue mission. Name’s Sherrie. She’s smart, worked hard to make something of her life from a shit beginning. I looked into those scared blue eyes, and felt something, dad, that I hadn’t been prepared for.”

His father chuckled while nodding. “Yeah, it can hit you like that.” Sobering after a moment, he asked, “So what’s the problem?”

“I…I spent so much time after Marla and Sofia died thinking that that was it for me. I’d loved. I’d become a father. And I lost it all. One phone call and it was all gone. I wasn’t prepared to ever…feel again.”

“You been dating this Sherrie for a year?”

“Nah. I’ve been fighting my attraction to her for a year. We just hooked up recently.”

“And….”

“I finally decided that I couldn’t fight it anymore. Even though being with her felt great, at first I felt guilty, like I was cheating or something. But I went for it anyway, and I think she knew that. Then I had the craziest dream.” Tony looked at his dad wondering what he thought about all of this.

Plunging ahead, he told his father about the dream where Marla told him to be happy with Sherrie. “But I must have said her name in my sleep and Sherrie heard, so she left. She thinks I won’t be able to love her.”

“Did you explain? Did you tell her what you’re feeling?” his dad asked, concern etching his face.

“No. I just let her walk away.”

His father huffed as he brought his recliner back to a sitting position. “Son, you let her walk away because you’re the one who doesn’t think he deserves a second chance at love.” At this, Tony’s gaze jumped to his dad’s, but before he could say anything, his dad continued on his roll.

“You felt so goddamn responsible for Marla and Sofia's death, when in truth there was nothing you could have done to prevent it.” Seeing that Tony was about to speak, he threw his hand up. “And don’t give me that cockamamie excuse of ‘if I wasn’t overseas bullshit’. The plain fact of the matter is that they were at the wrong place at the wrong time. Ain’t no one to blame anymore than I can blame someone for the cancer that took your mama. And the idea that we can only love once in our lives? Where the hell did you get that?”

Tony knew better than to interrupt his father and if he was truthful with himself, he craved the words his father was giving him.

The older man leaned forward, his warm gaze holding his son’s. “You and I loved good women. I got to have mine a helluva lot longer than yours. And I got to see my child become an adult. You got gypped out of both of those things. But son, that don’t mean your life is over. You can love again and that don’t take one goddamn thing away from what you and Marla had. You’re a good man with a lot of love to give, if you’ll just allow yourself to give it. It also means that you know a good thing when you find it.”

The corners of Tony’s mouth turned up slightly at the vehemence of his dad’s words. I know a good thing when I find it. I sure as hell do. And Sherrie is it.

Nodding slowly, he added, “I needed to hear that, Dad. I knew it deep down inside, but I needed to hear it.”

His father leaned his recliner back and settled in facing the game on the muted TV once again. “So, when am I going to meet her?” he said with a smile.

“Soon I hope, dad. But first I gotta win her back.” With that Tony stood and leaned over to embrace his father before letting himself out of the house. Feeling lighter than he had in years, he knew what he needed to do. Driving home he began to plan out his attack. Sherrie just became his new mission.

* * *

Gabe, Vinny, and Jobe met Tony at a small Mexican restaurant near their apartment complexes. Tony had sent out a meeting notice and the brothers-in-arms jumped to meet, no questions asked.

The three looked at their former commander and saw the familiar steely look of determination in his eyes.

“Captain, what’s up?” Jobe asked.

Tony looked around at his friends, feeling uncomfortable. “Need some advice.” He glanced at Vinny and joked, “Although I’ve got no idea why in the hell I had you come.”

Leaning back, Vinny looked at him in surprise.

Jobe, laughing, just said, “Then it’s gotta be advice about a woman.”

Throwing his hand across his heart, Vinny declared, “Hell, Captain. I’m the man you want if you need advice on women. I got more experience than all of y’all put together.”

Gabe rolled his eyes, saying, “Uh huh. And that’s just why he doesn’t need your advice. You can’t keep one around long enough to know what the hell advice to give.”

“I’ll have you know, women leave my bed plenty satisfied. Haven’t heard any complaints yet, bro,” Vinny added.

Tony began to doubt his sanity in talking to his closest friends. Hell, I should have kept this to myself.

Jobe, seeing Tony’s reticence, spoke up. “You know we’re here for you, right Tony?”

The twins sobered at seeing the look on his face. “Is it Sherrie?” Gabe asked.

“Yeah. We finally hooked up at the cabin and I thought things were progressing. Then I started getting in my head, thinking about Marla and just when I knew it was okay to move on with my life, I said her name in my sleep and Sherrie heard.”

“And she got pissed?” Vinny surmised.

“No, not at all,” Tony admitted to the others, seeing the surprise on their faces. “She just interpreted it as my trying to replace Marla with her. So, she walked away and like a dumb fuck, I let her. I need to get her back but have no idea how to do this.”

The three friends silently watched Tony struggle with his emotions. They had watched their leader bury his grief in missions and getting the job done. And they had watched their friend shut out life. Now with the possibility that he was ready to move on with life, they were ready to do anything to help.

Tony rubbed his hand over his face, sighing loudly. “I married my college sweetheart right after graduation and with basic training, Officer Candidate School, and then Special Forces training, we weren’t together all that much. We were young, in love, and willing to put up with the long-distance marriage just to be married. And when she got pregnant, hell I thought I’d won the lottery.”

His eyes stared off into the distance and his friends would not have interrupted him for anything. Tony talking about his feelings…they would protect them with their lives.

“The truth is that I don’t know much about dating. Or women. Or how to fix things when they get fucked up. But Sherrie is worth me knowing what the hell I’m doing.” His gazed leveled at them as he vowed, “She’s worth it and by God, I’m going to get a second chance at living.”

“Thank God,” Gabe stated emphatically.

Vinny just leaned back, a shit-eating grin on his face. He did not see himself ever settling on one woman, but if that was what his Captain wanted then he would see it done.

“Flowers,” Vinny declared. “That’ll turn her into mush. Women love that shit.”

Gabe popped his twin on the back of his head. “Yeah, this coming from the man who can’t keep it in his pants for one woman.”

“Hey,” Vinny groused. “I’ve never met a woman who could stay pissed when they got flowers. Big ones. Real expensive and showy.”

Tony looked dubious, saying, “I don’t see Sherrie being impressed with a bouquet of flowers that some flower shop sent.”

Gabe piped up, “Nah man. Do what I did to win Jennifer over. Jobe suggested I find out what was missing in her life and do that. Turned out it was just something for fun, so I took her out for a carriage ride.”

Tony doubted that a carriage ride would make Sherrie not doubt his feelings for her. He glanced over at Jobe, usually the voice of reason.

“Once again, you all stagger me in your ignorance of women,” Jobe said, shaking his head. “My family had very little money growing up and I never doubted the love between my mother and father. Still don’t, for that matter.” Looking at Vinny, he declared, “Flowers can be a nice gesture but they sure as shit don’t mean anything without the words behind them.”

Looking at Gabe, he admitted, “You did good by giving Jennifer something just for fun, but that’s not Sherrie. She’d doubted Tony and probably even herself.”

Vinny, throwing back his beer, said, “Okay genius, what’s your solution? If you’re so wise, let’s hear it.”

Jobe looked Tony in the eyes and asked, “Do you love her?”

Vinny snorted as Gabe jerked his head around to peer closely at Tony also.

“Yes,” Tony clipped, not wasting any time in answering.

“Have you told her yet?” Jobe continued.

Shaking his head, Tony admitted, “No. I honestly wasn’t sure until today but there’s no doubt in my mind that I do.”

“Then it’s simple,” Jobe declared. “Tell her. Honesty is what Sherrie craves. She’s been used and lied to before. All she needs is simple honesty.”

Gabe agreed, saying, “I think Jobe’s right.”

Vinny lifted his eyebrows in question but wisely kept quiet. He knew that just because he had no desire to settle down with one woman, if his friend was in love then he was happy for him.

Tony, deep in thought, slowly nodded. “She hasn’t had a lot of honesty. First, being bounced around foster families, then trying to keep Charisse out of trouble. The gang her sister was involved in lied to Sherrie to keep her from turning them in to the authorities. She’s learned to guard herself to try from getting hurt.”

“Then that’s it, man,” Jobe prodded. “She’s not looking for you to buy her anything. She doesn’t need jewelry, flowers, expensive dinners. She just needs you…and to know that you are giving yourself to her. You love her, Captain? You gotta tell her.”

Throwing down the last of his beer, Tony shoved his chair back. Tossing some bills on the table, he said, “Thanks guys. Buy another round on me. I’ve got somewhere I need to be.” With that he walked out of the restaurant, feeling the smiles of his men following him out of the door.

* * *

Sherrie sat propped in bed, her Kindle resting on her knees as she tried to read. It’s no use trying to fall in love with the characters in my novel when all I can see in my mind is Tony. She sighed, tossing her Kindle to her nightstand.

Turning out the light, she slid down under the covers, pulling them up to her chin hoping to keep warm. Closing her eyes, she hoped she could sleep without dreaming of a tall, gorgeous man with caramel eyes.

Loud knocking sounded and she jerked up. Glancing at the clock, she saw it was after midnight. The knocking sounded again and she jumped out of bed, grabbing a blanket as she made her way to the door. Peeking through the peep-hole, her heart beat loudly as she recognized the man of her thoughts.

Unlocking the door, she opened it then immediately shivered as the cold wind rushed in. Jumping back, she ordered, “Hurry, get in.” She wrapped the blanket around her shivering body.

Tony stepped in quickly, his hand on her stomach pushing her backward as he kicked the door closed with his boot. Looking down he took in her sleep tousled hair, flowered pajamas wrapped in a soft, green blanket, and as his gaze lowered he saw pink fuzzy socks peeking out from the bottom. Fuckin’ adorable. And mine.

Her surprised expression morphed into concern. “Tony, what’s wrong? Why are you here so late?”

“We need to talk,” he said simply, taking her hand and leading her over to the sofa. Sitting, he pulled her down onto his lap. Her hands came up and pressed against his chest, but he protested, “Oh no, baby girl. I want you right here.”

“Humph,” she groused. “Maybe I don’t want to be this close while we’re talking.”

“Baby, I’d give you just about anything you wanted, but right now we’re playing this my way. I got stuff to clear up and I want you close, not pulling away.”

Pursing her lips, she stilled her hands, letting them drop into her lap, not willing to have them be tempted to hold tightly on to him. Lifting her eyes, she peered deeply into his face wondering what needed to be said in the middle of the night. Please, no more heartache, Tony. I can’t take it.

Tony, no longer unsure of his feelings, jumped in quickly. “I’ve fucked things up between us and I’m here to fix them.”

She blinked slowly, not sure she understood what he was saying. Fix them? She had no idea what he was talking about, but a sliver of hope snuck into her heart.

“You were partially right at the cemetery. I did love Marla and when she and Sofia died, I died with them. I planned on staying single the rest of my life ‘cause I figured I had loved once and something like that just can’t come along more than once in a lifetime. But I was wrong. I’ve been fighting my feelings for you since I first saw you and when we finally got together up in the mountains, I was willing to go all the way with you. Then it all got fucked up when you heard me say her name in my sleep. But baby, it wasn’t what you thought.”

He ducked his head so that he peered directly into her eyes, checking to make sure she was understanding. What he saw was confusion and…doubt. How do I get her to understand?

“Tony—”

“No, babe. You gotta let me finish.”

She nodded, sucking her lips in, looking at his anguished expression.

Satisfied, he continued. “I had a dream that night and yes, Marla was in it. But baby, you have to believe me. She was letting me go, knowing that I was ready. As much as I had feelings for you, there was still the past holding me back. But that night, Sherrie babe, she told me to be happy with you.”

She sucked in a gasp, tears stinging the back of her eyes, as she watched the emotions play across his face. She lifted a hand, cupping his strong jaw, the rough stubble underneath her fingertips. His black hair looking as though he had been running his hands through it continuously. And those caramel eyes. Warm. Full of emotion.

Finally, she’s getting it. Giving a tenuous smile, he said, “Baby, you’re no replacement. I’ve loved and lost. But if I’m lucky enough to find love again, then I’m grabbing it for all it’s worth and hanging on.”

“You…you’ve found love again?” she asked, her voice shaky.

A smile slowly curved his lips as he leaned in for a kiss. The soft touching of lips. The gentle promise of a future. “Yeah, Sherrie. I love you.” Touching her lips again, he leaned back saying, “Please tell me I’m not too late. Please say I still have a chance with you.”

Her answer was to grasp both of his cheeks pulling him in for a kiss. This one full of understanding. Forgiveness. Then morphing into passion.

After a moment of letting her lead, he took over the kiss, angling her head for better access. Plunging his tongue deep inside her warm mouth, he tasted her mint toothpaste as he plundered every crevice. Feeling something wet on his hands, he leaned back seeing tears sliding from her blue eyes over his fingers.

Wiping her cheeks with the rough pads of his thumbs, he whispered, “Baby, don’t cry. Please don’t cry.”

Standing suddenly with her in his arms, she squealed as he headed back toward the stairs. Taking them two at a time, his precious load held tightly to his chest, he made his way into her bedroom, setting her down by letting her body slide slowly along his front. Pulling the blanket from her shoulders he let it drop to the floor. He smiled as he saw her flowered, flannel pajamas and little pink socks. How the hell can a woman look so sexy covered head to toe?

His hands went to the buttons at her neck, slipping them loose until the top gapped opened and a hint of cleavage peeked through. Placing his hands on the soft material at her shoulders, it took little movement to have the shirt and bottoms in a flannel pile at her feet. With a quick lift, he lay her on her back, her breasts bouncing with the motion. His dick, already pressing into his jeans, was straining, leaving him to wonder if his zipper was leaving a permanent mark.

The smile on her face tugged at his heartstrings as he divested himself of his clothes as quickly as he could. Finally, out of its constraints, his cock stood at attention as he ran his fist up and down its length. He knelt on the floor pulling her fuzzy covered feet toward him. Sliding her socks off, he placed a kiss on each instep.

She raised up on her elbows and watched this huge, handsome man kiss her feet and she could not contain the giggle that erupted. “I’m ticklish,” she gasped, but then his mouth began to move higher and her mirth ended as her core clenched in anticipation.

Kissing her inner thighs he grasped her panties, dragging them down and tossing them into the pile of discarded clothes on the floor. Moving up again, he pulled her legs over his shoulders as he moved his lips to the prize.

With the flat of his tongue, he laved her moist folds, memorizing the taste of her. I want this. Every night. Forever. Plunging his tongue in, he grinned as she jumped, jerking her hips off of the bed. “Easy babe, we got all night,” he said, voice like gravel.

Moving up, he latched onto her clit while moving a finger deep inside, crooking it as it hit the spot that he had been aiming for. The one that he knew would throw her over the edge. With one last suck, he was not disappointed as she screamed his name and he felt her hot sex clench his finger as he continued to move his tongue around her clit prolonging the orgasm until she fell boneless back onto the bed.

Gasping for air, she moaned, “Oh God, Tony. You’re going to kill me.” A giggle erupted as he kissed his way up her body. “Death by orgasm," she laughed.

“Is that such a bad way to go?” he joked, as he made his way to her breasts, latching onto one rosy nipple.

“Ummm,” was her only response.

After rolling on a condom he grabbed her hands in his, pulling them over her head, exposing her beautiful body to his perusal. Moving his straining cock to her entrance, he looked down at her expectant face.

“Tell me what you want, baby,” he ordered, teasing her sex with the head of his cock.

“I want you. Now,” she answered, her breasts heaving with each pant.

Dipping his lips to hers, he whispered, “My pleasure,” before plunging his dick into her hot, tight sex and his tongue into her warm mouth.

Moving both in rhythm, he started slowly, his dick stretching her as it hit every nerve along the way. In and out, dragging along her inner walls as the friction drove her to distraction. He moved his tongue along her neck, sucking on the tender area at the base where her pulse throbbed.

Her hands wrapped around his back as her legs entwined around his waist, opening herself up more. She felt the power of his muscles underneath her fingertips as they moved over the ridges as they flexed with each stroke.

“More. Harder,” she moaned as the friction built to a crescendo. She squeezed her eyes shut as the world around her fell away, feeling only the rocking of her body as he powered into her. She could tell she was close and suddenly felt his dick swell even larger inside.

Tony watched as her perfect teeth bit into her bottom lip, her head thrown back against the mattress as he felt his balls tighten.

“Open your eyes. I wanna see you when you come,” he ordered. Her eyes popped open in obedience, their blue orbs focusing on his. Her plump lips were smiling as he felt her inner walls began to clench on his dick. Reaching down, he tweaked her clit and watched with satisfaction as she screamed his name again, feeling her milk his cock.

She watched as his normally staid expression changed as his orgasm rocked through him. With his head thrown back, she watched as the veins stood out on his neck as he powered through his orgasm. Love. He loves me.

He dropped his head on the mattress beside hers, as he tried to catch his breath. Rolling to the side, he pulled her along with him to keep from crushing her. Their sweat-slicked bodies cooled slowly as their heartbeats continued to pound.

Pushing her hair from her face, he watched her as her breathing slowed. I never thought I would have this again. After a few seconds her eyes opened and focused lazily back at him, a slow smile crossing her face.

“Hey, you,” she said sleepily.

“Hey back,” he added, tucking her in tightly as he pulled the covers up over them, not wanting her to become chilled.

She drifted off to sleep, sated from sex and safe in the knowledge that he was finally here to stay. He loves me, she thought once again.

Tony watched her smile slowly fade away as the peace of sleep overtook her. He waited to see if the familiar tug of guilt was coming. But it did not. And for the first time in over five years, he fell into a dreamless, peaceful slumber.