Page 20

Jude

Love is no longer the answer. Only death.

Letter from Aurora Adair to unknown recipient, year 42 of the curse

Kiara disappeared before my eyes.

Before I could assess the damage, to stem the blood pouring from her lips, she’d flickered out of the world like a weak flame.

I screamed her name, aga in and again , until the others surrounded me, begging to know what happened. I didn’t have an answer.

Minutes passed, each ticking second an alarm bell ringing painfully in my head.

A flash of movement to my left caught my eye, a body slowly taking shape, quivering in and out of existence. I ran to the wavering form, wanting, hoping , it was her.

Through a patch of prickly reeds, situated on her back, eyes fluttering, was Kiara.

My knees dug into the dirt as I sank to my knees and pulled her into my hold, panic flooding my insides like a disease. She was limp, sickly pale, and oh so cold. She stared into nothing, unseeing, barely breathing.

Gently, I laid her back down, her brother shouting, Jake cursing and pacing. I shook her and frantically felt for her pulse. It was weak. Barely there. No matter what I did, she didn’t stir, and the sight of the blood trickling from her parted lips had my powers bursting free.

I brought my palms to her chest, over her heart, and poured all my pent-up energy—every fear and doubt and shred of frustration—into her supine body. “Wake up!” I ordered, blazing light radiating from my hands. It illuminated the gloomy woods, gold touching the tips of the brittle leaves and making them glimmer like broken glass.

I sensed the others circle me, heard their voices, but I blocked them from existence. There was only the sensation of being torn in half, of an invisible blade cutting through my flesh and bone and deep into my heart.

Shoving against her once more, I roared, golden magic streaming into her with a sickening snap. It flowed above me, the brightest of light igniting the woods, the field, and the bewildered faces of my companions.

A thousand twinkling stars cascaded from me in a torrent of never-ending power, and I gave it all to her.

Nothing happened.

I was brought back to the field of Midnight Blooms when she lay bloodied and pale in my hold. That invisible dagger twisted , and I choked on memories of her anguish.

I didn’t understand. I’d healed her before, and there wasn’t a wound in sight. Her eyes were open, her chest moving rhythmically, and yet…

A gush of crimson sputtered from her lips, red seeping from her ears as she convulsed, shaking so violently, I feared she’d hurt herself by the action alone. In my panic, I yanked my hands from her, fearing my touch harmed rather than helped. When the tremors lessened, nausea churned in my gut.

Realization struck. My touch…it was hurting her.

Jake crashed to his knees, followed by Liam, both of them cradling her, trying their best to rouse her from her spell. Liam bellowed her name, but I barely heard his scream.

Everything was muffled, the only sound the hissing of the untamed magic in my blood.

We’d brought back the sun twice after revealing our hearts. It hadn’t lasted, but I thought—

I thought we’d uncovered a way to end this nightmare. I thought I could be happy and that the light we’d delivered to the sky—albeit briefly—signified a chance at happiness.

I should’ve known nothing was ever that easy.

That inane prophecy wasn’t real, just another fairy tale I’d latched on to, praying it would be our salvation. It was a lie, because as soon as we admitted our truths face to face, touch to touch—Kiara had been struck down.

The hand on my shoulder squeezed hard, forcing my gaze up.

My mother’s dark irises were dulled. It almost looked like she was worried, but I wouldn’t know—the woman was, in all truth, a stranger. The only people who’d given me that look before had been Isiah and Kiara. Isiah was gone, Kiara now unconscious.

And I couldn’t save her.

“Get up, Jude,” my mother commanded, her hands digging into my arms. With surprising strength, she hauled me to my feet, her grip firm on my waist.

I couldn’t stop looking at Kiara, couldn’t stop picturing her among all the other lifeless bodies that haunted me. Those I’d killed with my own hand, their throats severed, dripping blood, frozen screams on their chapped lips—

“Jude.” The Fox grasped my chin and tilted my head her way. “I was afraid this would happen,” she murmured softly. I tracked her stare as it moved to Kiara. “I recognized her…otherworldliness back in Fortuna. It was the opposite of warm. I smelled rust and felt the harsh chill of winter when she entered my study, and I knew why. Her gloves couldn’t hide it from me. I’d heard the story of the girl with hair of fire who survived the shadow beast attack in Cila all those years ago, and I just… I knew.”

She guided me farther into the trees, Kiara growing smaller.

I wanted to fight my mother, and realistically, I could have, but my body retaliated against me. Hurting Kiara was worse than hurting myself, and I would surely do more damage if I gave in to temptation.

The Fox situated me far enough away that I could only make out the others’ outlines. She placed both hands on my cheeks and said, “You need to stop believing in fairy tales, my boy. I thought you understood that there’s no room for them in this world.” Her thumb brushed the bottom of my twin scars, and an indecipherable look twisted her features. “I would’ve assumed it to be a lesson you’d learned long ago.”

That pulled me out of my daze.

I went rigid, drawing away from her foreign caresses. She had no right to touch me in such a tender way. “You didn’t stick around long enough to find out,” I seethed, my frustration refocusing, selecting a worthy target. “You dumped me on the steps of a sadist, while you went off to live your life. Excuse me if I’m hesitant to take advice from a thief and a coward.”

Something akin to hurt widened her eyes , and her lower lip quivered.

Gods, I looked so much like her. Why then couldn’t I turn away?

“I didn’t know what was inside of you until the day my mother passed,” she whispered, her voice broken. “She carried her secret all her life. Gods, she didn’t even tell me her real name.” She scoffed bitterly. “Only when you were born did she ever show an ounce of love.”

“Raina?” I needed to hear her say it. To confirm everything that I was incapable of wrapping my head around.

“She went by Rae after…after her fall,” the Fox said, glancing at her boots. “The stories say she found a great love and lived a long mortal life, but those were fairy tales as well. People holding on to wishful thinking.” Her head lifted to where the fog shrouded Kiara, something icy deadening her gaze.

I didn’t trust myself not to go running in her direction, and I bit my cheek. The slight sting centered me.

“My mother was a cold woman. She didn’t marry, but she had me at some point during her travels. I spent my entire life trying to gain her affection, her approval, her anything , but Raina had shut down after her lover’s betrayal. She protected me, of course, yet she couldn’t seem to love me. It was when she was on the edge of death that she gazed upon your tiny face with complete adoration. I hated her for it. I hated you .” The admission was said quietly, like a secret, and it was a secret I suspected she’d never shared before.

The Fox wasn’t the cocky thief I’d found in Fortuna. Her shoulders curved in on themselves in a way that made her appear smaller, her rage and grief nearly palpable enough to choke on.

All of it disoriented me.

“The past is the past,” I forced out, my world spinning. How many times had I envisioned my mother apologizing? Speaking to me about her regrets, her guilt? But this wasn’t an apology, merely a poor explanation that held no weight. “But I don’t need to hear your excuses,” I said. “You abandoned me. End of story.”

The Fox let out a whimper, grasping my hand when a hoarse shout rang out. Jake.

“I think she’s coming to!” he screamed.

My nails dug into the flesh of my palm, every inch of me battling against itself.

My magic was too hot right now, too out of control, to go near her. If that’s what had hurt her—this unwanted power of mine—then I couldn’t risk it.

We had become oil and flame, a deadly combination.

I grasped the nearest tree, my fingers curling against the coarse bark as I heard Kiara’s voice. She said my name. Her first word was a shout for me . The man who’d hurt her.

The smell of burning saturated the air, and I turned, finding my palm aglow. The tree I leaned against was charred, dark smoke rising from the wood. With a curse, I wrenched away.

I ruined everything I touched.

The Fox dared to reach out for me again, but I ran.

I ran until I made my way to the clearing where our horses were kept, and I faced the sprawling field below, the moon exposed and bright against the vacant night sky.

With a roar, I held out my arms, screaming as fire and gold erupted from me.

I became a living flame, my rage kindling the blaze. Wings of burnt russet rose on either side, stretching from my shoulders , becoming looming threats of promised devastation.

Smoke clogged my nostrils as the grass at my feet began to char and wither.

I didn’t care. I was on fire from the inside out, and I was so fucking angry.

How could I have ever imagined I could have her? She would never be mine. Never be able to love me, even if she wanted to.

My flames strengthened, carving a fiery path across the field, snaking up trees and tearing apart their thick branches like brittle twigs. When the entire clearing reeked of destruction and ruin, my power simmered, the intensity of its influence lessening.

I’d been born to destroy.

Born to kill.

Born to never love.

I swiveled around, mentally incapable of witnessing my handiwork.

My gaze lifted, and there she was, twenty feet away and surrounded by the others, her brother hovering beside her protectively. Even Jake shot me a wary glance, his hand instinctively going to his dagger’s hilt. Finn and Dimitri merely stared.

The final ember of my magic faded, but I didn’t move closer.

I promised I wouldn’t leave again, and I wouldn’t, but I couldn’t allow myself to get near. I watched as her head turned to the burning field and then back to me. I could feel the outpouring of love radiating from that dark stare, and that’s what killed me the most.

How cruel fate was—

My love could kill the one woman who owned my heart.