Page 83 of To Kill a Badger (The Honey Badgers Chronicles #6)

Not knowing what else to say, Nelle finally admitted, “I hate you.”

“Oh, sweetie . . . I know. And I really don’t care.”

* * *

Keane had nearly fallen asleep again when Nelle stormed back into the room, slamming the door behind her.

“Oh, good. You’re back.” Without sitting up, he gestured at her with both hands. “Come over here. Sit on my face.”

“We don’t have time for any of that. We have to get home. Now.”

“Give me what is mine by right!” he roared, then blinked at her startled look. “Sorry about that. There’s a thin line of Genghis Khan in my DNA, because my ancestors wanted some powerful shifter babies. It tends to come out sometimes when I’m . . . horny. Again, sorry.”

“Let me tell you something,” Nelle said, pointing her finger at him, “while I may find that the hottest thing ever, and I will be taking full advantage of it the next time we fuck, we don’t have time right now.

So get up, get in the shower, and let’s get to the airport.

I’ve already let Marti know I need a jet—”

“A jet?” Rutowski asked, bursting into their room with a cup of hot coffee in her hand and big smile on her face. “You mean one I don’t have to pay for? You don’t mind if we catch a ride with you guys, right?”

“Actually, I do mind,” Nelle replied. “Find your own way home, crone.”

“I could do that. I could also make sure you’re interrogated by French and Swiss police for terrorist activities!” Rutowski said, with a big happy smile that didn’t feel at all fake, which Keane found extremely disturbing.

“I thought you didn’t rat out friends?”

“I don’t. And you’ll never go to prison. But it will take you days to get back to the States. Or, you can just let us travel with you in your family’s jet. Your choice.”

“But choose wisely!” he heard one of the other crones yell from the hallway. It sounded like Yoon, pretending to be an old man. It was strange.

“Sometimes,” Rutowski explained, “Steph likes to quote any and all of the Raiders of the Lost Ark movies. Obsessively so. It’s gotten worse after menopause.”

Then they suddenly heard Yoon yell out, “Get over here!”

“She also likes to quote the Mortal Kombat games.”

“And that seems normal to you?” Nelle asked.

“I wouldn’t say normal. But we’re used to it now.

It used to be Star Wars quotes, but after the prequels in the nineties, she stopped that.

” Rutowski leaned in and loudly whispered, “If I were you, I wouldn’t bring up Star Wars .

She has very strong opinions on all the movies, TV shows, books, cartoons, games, and toys. ”

Eyes wide in horror, Nelle looked at Keane, but he could only shrug desperately because, seriously, What the fuck?

“How old are you bitches?” Nelle demanded.

“A rude question, but when it’s asked, we say over thirty-five. You know, physically. But emotionally? I still watch Sixteen Candles and Breakfast Club like it was the first time. So who am I to judge?”

“Get out,” Nelle ordered.

“We’ll be ready in fifteen! Don’t leave without us!”

Nelle faced him. “I hate her.”

“I know. But we have fifteen minutes, soooo . . .”

She let out an aggravated sigh and dropped her shorts. “Fine, but you better get me off first!”

“Of course!”

* * *

“I’m going to go find Finn and Shay and check on Nat and Dani.”

“Okay.” Nelle went up on her toes and kissed his cheek—and it was like she’d dropped to her knees and given him a blow job, the way everyone watched them. “I’ll see you in a few.”

She walked away, staring at the tigers staring at her.

But she lost interest in the nosy cats when she arrived at Charlie’s rental house at the same moment Max and her teammates did.

Now the five of them gazed at one another, because they all knew they’d been screwed by those old crones!

“Did Rutowski use Charlie to get her shit done?” Max asked, the growl easing out of the back of her throat, which meant she was really angry.

“Yes. Did you four waste your time getting the help from some rando badgers that we don’t really need while they forced me and Keane into an international incident that could have sent us to prison for life? The answer to that question is also yes.”

“Where. Are. They?”

“Not here. They told me they wanted to check on their children. Then álvarez asked, ‘What children?’ And Rutowski was all, ‘Your goddamn kids!’ And álvarez was all, ‘Oh! That’s right! I do have kids!’ Then they all laughed and laughed like that was a completely normal conversation and somehow I didn’t get it because I’m Asian! ”

Without another word said between them, they walked up the stairs and over to the front door of the house.

Once inside, they found Berg and his triplets on the couch, eating breakfast. In the dining room were Kyle and Dutch, glaring at Shen, who was happily munching on an enormous amount of bamboo piled high beside his chair.

If he noticed the glares because of all the noise he was making, he clearly didn’t care. His smile was huge. Almost Zenlike.

But when they arrived in the kitchen, they found Charlie and Stevie bickering. Those two didn’t bicker. Not with each other. They bickered with Max. About Max. But never just the two of them.

As soon as Nelle and her teammates walked in, however, they stopped arguing and faced them.

“You’re back,” Charlie said.

“No,” Max shot back. “We’re mirages.”

“What the fuck is the matter with you? And why do you look like that?”

“Max got beat up by a donkey!” Streep squealed before bursting into hysterical laughter.

“It wasn’t like that.”

“Yes it was!” Streep, Mads, and Tock crowed together.

Few hours earlier . . .

Streep folded her hands together, placed them on the picnic table, and said in her best “sincere Meryl Streep voice,” as Mads called it, “I think combining the forces of the great families, like yours, will only make every honey badger stronger and safer against all enemies out to destroy—”

“Should we get your friend?” Julio Jesús Santiago asked, while pouring Streep more sweet tea.

She glanced behind her and realized that one of the docile donkeys that had nuzzled Streep and Mads until they’d petted her had grabbed Max by the leg and was slamming her into the ground with a viciousness not really seen from donkeys.

“What did you do to that donkey?” Streep called out.

“Nothing! It just attacked me! Help! ”

Streep waved away Max’s call for help and faced Julio again.

He was very handsome, and his honey badger family ran an extremely large and successful horse farm.

You’d never know that they also brokered in information so they could blackmail mobsters for money that they then used to buy the best dressage horses and to maintain their horse and donkey rescue.

“I haven’t seen Joanne go after anything like that since she saw a rattlesnake,” Julio said. “Did you guys eat rattlesnake before coming here?”

“No. Not even scorpions. I had chicken salad on the plane.”

“Huh. Interesting.”

“Not really. Most prey animals see Max MacKilligan as nothing but a predator. Now about that deal . . .”

“Oh. Right. Well, we’ve already worked something out with Tracey Rutowski. Is there more to do?”

* * *

“You see?” Max said, ignoring the donkey part of that story Streep just told. “Those crones set us up!”

“No, they didn’t,” Charlie said. “I did.”

* * *

Keane stood behind Finn and watched him tell their baby sister in ASL that he no longer wanted to discuss it, but she was never to tell Keane what she had done.

Then, his hands pausing, he guessed, “He’s right behind me . . . isn’t he?”

Finn and Shay looked at Keane over their shoulders.

Shay tried to smile, but it failed. Badly. And Finn just said, “Don’t be mad. She thought she was helping.”

“All you had to do was keep her hands clean,” Keane reminded his brothers. “That was it. But I leave for five minutes, and you can’t even do that!”

“You were involved in an international incident, and you’re coming at us right now?”

“That wasn’t my fault. But this? This is your fault.”

“We didn’t tell her to do anything but watch Dani.”

“What about Dale? Why wasn’t Dale also watching her?” When his brothers only stared at him, he said, “Our brother.”

“Oh!” Finn shook his head. “Yeah. I don’t know where he is, actually.”

“I’m sure Mom knows where he is,” Shay reasoned.

“Fine. Family meeting in an hour. And,” he added in ASL to Nat, “we tell Mom what you’ve done, and let her deal with you.”

Nat immediately burst into sobs, but there were no tears. She really should take lessons from Streep.

“Stop,” Keane ordered her.

“Fine,” she replied verbally before walking away.

* * *

Keane gave Finn and Shay one last glare before walking to Charlie’s house.

When he had gone inside, Finn said to Shay, “That was a surprisingly calm and rational response from our not-calm-nor-rational brother.”

“Yes. I was very impressed.”

Finn looked at Shay. “He’s fucking Nelle, right?”

“He’s absolutely fucking Nelle. And clearly enjoying every second of it.”

“Yeah, but he’s still going to be a bastard about football.”

“He will always be a bastard about football.”

“Hey, idiots!” Keane called out from Charlie’s stoop.

“Don’t respond to that ,” Finn told Shay, but the idiot had already turned around.

“Football practice tomorrow! Don’t care who you’re fucking or where! We’re going !”

Finn let out a sigh. “Always a bastard about football.”

* * *

Keane walked into the kitchen, but stopped.

“What?” he asked when Nelle, her teammates, Charlie, and Stevie were just there . . . saying nothing. These females rarely said nothing. Only bad things could come from nothing. “Who was accidentally killed this time?”

Stevie shook her head. “Absolutely no one!” Then she burst into tears and hugged Charlie. “I am so proud of you. So very, very proud.”

“I know, sweetie. I know.” She awkwardly patted her sister’s back until Stevie finally let her go.