Page 13 of Till The Cows Come Home

Chapter Twelve

Sage

A s I gazed at the man beneath me, I couldn’t help the feeling of giddiness that tickled through me from the day’s success. It wasn’t lost on me that mere hours ago I had complacently settled on professionalism, but I couldn’t help myself. I was finally going to do something for me.

My face lowered, gently brushing my lips over his, all while his hands gently settled along my hips as he allowed me to lead.

My reservations remained as I second-guessed how long he would relinquish the reins, but he earned the benefit of the doubt, so I gave it to him.

I couldn't help but wonder how long a man like this could truly hand over control, but I was suddenly compelled to find out.

The mere idea of him holding back desire fueled my own, and against my better judgment, I found myself deepening the kiss, trailing my tongue along his bottom lip.

He parted them in invitation, which I gladly took, driven by the hum that escaped deep in his throat as I explored his mouth.

The sudden absence of his hands around me prompted me to pull away, and I couldn’t help but chuckle as I took in the white-knuckled fists settled at his sides.

But before I could comment on his retraint, I heard the sound of someone clearing their throat behind me.

“Ruby?” I hissed

“Yes, and I suggest you thank Ruby and get your shit together quickly because your parents are making their way over here.”

Panic ensued as I hopped off the slightly aroused, but apparently well endowed, lumberjack underneath me.

“Pretend that we're down here picking up all these spilled bottles that were knocked over,” I suggested. “And unless you’d like to give my mother a stroke, get rid of that.” I gestured to his crotch, trying to hold back my laughter.

“You did this .” He chuckled.

I cackled as I began crawling around, collecting the empty bottles that did actually spill from the crate, and after a few moments of adjusting, he joined me.

“They’re down there,” Ruby called, directing my parents with a mischievous grin. “Seems there was a little commotion behind the tent,” she added, holding back her own laughter.

My mother approached, taking in the scene.

“Sage? Why are you crawling around behind that tent? Are you giving Mr. Carver a hard time?”

“No ma'am,” Miles interjected. “Your daughter has been nice enough to give me a hand on the farm here and there.”

My mother’s eyes narrowed with displeasure. “I thought you’d decided to stay away?”

“Mom—”

“Come on, sweetheart, get off the ground. We can chat over lunch,” she interrupted, giving me the age-old motherly facial expression that we had some things to talk about. My dad stood silently next to her like it pained him to be near, and my heart broke with acute understanding.

“Let me grab my stuff,” I murmured.

“Mr. and Mrs. Baker,” Miles greeted my parents, “nice to see you again.”

My father shook his hand, while my mother continued to busy herself with extracting me.

“Thanks for today,” I called to Miles, but before he had a chance to answer my mother tugged me along.

As much as I wanted to stay and explore whatever had just happened, the universe seemed to be giving me a sign, and it was Gale Baker.

Talk about a bad omen.

I knew I was about to receive a drawn out lecture from my mother, but for some reason I followed anyway, simmering in the silence that settled the entire drive to the diner.

When we arrived, my parents walked hand in hand towards the entrance and I couldn’t help but trail behind, wondering why two people so clearly familiar with love and devotion would be so adamant on snuffing out their own daughter’s dream.

My mother lasted until the waitress dropped off our drinks before beginning her spiel.

“You should not be weaseling your way into people’s lives to get the things you want, Sage.”

“I’m not weaseling my way into anything, mother.”

“If you’re not being cunning, then why didn’t your own parents know that you’re spending time there?”

“Because I knew my own mother wouldn’t know how to be happy for me.”

“That’s not true, Sage.”

If I answered again we’d elevate into a full blown screaming match mid restaurant, so I held my tongue, sipping my water.

It was no accident that my parents weren’t knowledgeable about my current life.

After the last betrayal I promised to keep my moves private, disabling their ability to interfere again .

They looked me in the eyes when I offered my life savings, which was almost enough money to finance the farm, and refused to budge.

I swear they gave me every excuse in the book on why they needed the full asking price, but when Miles came in, they ended up negotiating down to the exact amount I had offered.

Three years and that wound hadn’t closed.

The waitress brought our plates, and as we shuffled, making room for our plates, my eyes met my father’s. His lips curved up in a small smile, but I could see the guilt underneath, and my insides screamed at the overwhelming urge to beg him to explain to my mother what we were going through.

But he couldn’t.

My mother kept our family together while my dad worked himself to the bone, but the more she had to manage, the further removed she became from the farm.

She no longer helped dad milk or feed calves, instead spending her time worrying over bills and balancing checkbooks.

While my father prayed over each new calf, begging on his knees that it would be the one that saved the herd, my mother’s resentment grew, because all she saw was another mouth she couldn’t afford to feed.

I knew it took everything from my dad when she sat him down, showing him with numbers that we just couldn’t continue.

All that to say though, if he wanted to stay on the sinking ship, she would have stood right next to him, but I remember the whispers.

“Do you want our daughter to go down with us, Stu?”

The next day, the farm was on the market.

My dad squeezed my hand, breaking me from the flood of memories I struggled to wade through, and a moment later, my mother grabbed the other.

“I’m sorry, honey. Really. Come for Wednesday dinner and let me make it up to you. I’ll make lemon bars, your favorite. ”

“Okay Mom,” I agreed, which I’d done countless times, but in the last three years, I’d never shown. The initial hope in my mother’s eyes dulled, as if she too was recalling all the times she’d set a place for me at the table just for it to sit untouched.

“Please Sagey,” my father murmured, and I could feel the heaviness begin to take over my entire throat when I locked eyes with him and the usual guilt I saw was replaced with despair.

“I’ll be there,” I responded, this time with enough conviction to convince my parents and maybe even myself of my sincerity.

My dad paid our bill and as we walked to the parking lot, I realized I was missing something.

My car.

I’d forgotten I rode with Miles to the market, and I surely wasn’t going to include my parents in that rendezvous.

“Back to the market?” my dad asked, assuming that’s where my car would be.

“Ruby is actually borrowing my car because hers is in the shop. Could you just drop me off at my place?”

My father mumbled in agreement, and once I was at my apartment, I texted Ruby.

Any chance you want to give me a ride to the farm so I can get my car?

After a few moments, her response appeared.

So I’m assuming you didn’t tell your parents you played tonsil hockey with the sexy lumberjack?

LOL, be there in ten.

My eyes rolled as far as they possibly could into the back of my head.

I’d been running around since four this morning and the silence of my apartment was welcomed after I bid my parents farewell.

My brain begged me to crawl into my bed, even if just for a few minutes, and as I peeled the covers back, I looked down at myself, sighing.

My jeans were covered with dirt and I could vaguely smell the sourness of old milk clinging to my clothes.

I fought the urge to jump in anyways and deal with the consequences later, but the sensible version of myself stomped to the bathroom to shower. Ruby arrived not too long after, catching me walking from the bathroom to my bedroom, hair still wet, plopped in a T-shirt atop my head.

“Getting squeaky clean for the lumberjack?”

“Actually, I happened to smell like sour milk and shit.”

“Sexy,” she retorted, nose scrunched in disgust.

“Ready?” I asked, eager to get my car and come home.

Today was filled with a plethora of emotions, and I needed an evening with a bottle of wine to decompress. We drove in silence and as we neared the farm, I pleaded with Ruby.

“Please no donuts or burnouts. I’m trying to avoid adding any additional emotions into the repertoire I’ve accumulated on this fine Saturday.”

She complacently nodded, which only happened when she sensed I was too sensitive for banter, and as the car came to a stop, the locks clicked back in place before I could open the door.

“What’s going on, Sage? All joking aside, it seems like you really like him.”

“I’m fine,” I said, leaning my head back into the headrest. “It’s just a lot to process. A couple weeks ago, he was the shittiest person I could think of and now we're stealing kisses like teenagers, getting busted by my parents.”

“Technically, you got busted by your bestie,” Ruby joked before mustering a more serious tone. “You have all the time you need, Sage. Not to mention, you’re almost thirty years old. If you want to hook up with an attractive man with no strings attached, you can.”

“I know.” I sighed. “I’m just trying to figure it all out before it even happens.”

“You’re never going to have mistakes to learn from if you’re always doing damage control, dodging the thrill of the disaster.”

“Who the hell wants disasters?”

“No one wants disasters , but the majority of the world accepts they exist. You’re just out here attempting to defy the laws of life.”

“I’m starting to think I may be the problem.”

“No kidding, now get out.”

I chuckled as the doors unlocked, and I exited her car just to quickly slump into the driver’s seat of my own.

Her words stuck with me, though. I spent all my time over thinking to the point that I didn’t allow myself to actually experience any of the possible outcomes of the actions I wasn’t taking.

Too lost in my own thoughts, I didn’t notice the man approaching my car, and the small knock delivered to my window practically stopped my heart.