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ROYO

CHARM BEACH, GAYA

A eri came back to me. My chest expands with love, and I reach out to take her hand in mine. My fingers go through the air, smacking my side when I can’t touch her.

I blink hard and reach for her again. Her hand is right there, but, even though I try, my fingers just catch the air. I can’t hold her.

She’s changed.

My stomach knots as I keep trying, unable to accept it.

“Royo,” she sighs.

My heart squeezes, shrinking in defeat. It’s not really Aeri—well, not the one I held in my arms last night—and she’s not really standing but flickering in front of me.

She’s sometimes solid, sometimes see-through, but already out of reach.

I don’t know what to do with my heart. It’s filling and breaking at the same time, because even though she’s here, she’s not really here.

She merged with the Dragon Lord and left me.

It’s like there’s a giant boulder crushing my chest, and I can’t breathe. My voice comes out as a whisper. “Aeri.”

She smiles. “I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye.”

Agony claws at the shards of my heart when she says the word “goodbye.” I wanna scream out in pain, but I know it won’t do any good.

“Then don’t,” I say. Tears stream down my face. “Don’t say goodbye and don’t leave me.” I know she has no choice, but my heart doesn’t.

“Everything will be okay now.”

No. No. Nothing will be okay. Not without her.

I shake my head. I shouldn’t waste this time arguing with her, but she’s just wrong. I don’t give a fuck about the war or the kings. I just want her to stay. Life without her isn’t worth shit. Take the fifteen thousand souls down there and just give me hers. Or let me die with her.

She tilts her head like she read my mind. “I want you to go on, Royo.”

“To do what? I’m nothing without you.” My chin falls, my shoulders dropping with it. What’s the point? A world without her is black desert. I’ve wandered it before, living without color or life. Now that I’ve had her, I can’t go back to that.

She doesn’t touch me as much as use the air to raise my face to hers.

As I look at her, she’s flickering hard. Somewhere in my mind, I know she’s almost gone. I can feel it. And there’s nothing I can do to stop it. I grip my own hands because I can’t hold hers. I’d break my fingers to touch hers.

“You’re everything and so much more than you know,” she says. “Thank you for loving me.”

Tears flood my eyes, making her beautiful face blur to nothing, but it’s not my vision. I blink hard, trying to hold on, but she’s fading. Just another minute. Just one more. I won’t get a life with her. Just give me another second.

She smiles. “I’ll love you for tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.”

And then, before I can say anything else, she vanishes.

“No!” I cry.

I grab the air where she was just standing, but there is nothing. I look down, and my arms hug emptiness. I turn in a circle, hoping to see her just one more time. Just one. I search the sky, and there’s nothing. I lost her.

She’s gone.

I’m all alone.

I fall on my knees as my heart goes with her.

The pain in my chest is unbearable. I scream until there’s no more air left in me, until the world is nothing but a blur.

She’s gone somewhere I can’t follow. I pound the earth with my fists, wishing I could crack a hole straight to the Ten Hells.

Wishing I could do anything with this useless agony.

Mikail rests a hand on my shoulder. “She saved us all.”

I eye him with all the hate I feel for this world, this place, and those relics that took her from me. “It wasn’t worth it.”

Real empathy shines in Mikail’s eyes. If anyone understands what this is like, it’s him.

He exhales and shakes his head. “Maybe not, but it’s what she wanted.”

I can’t… I can’t even think about her choosing this. We won, but a hundred knives stabbing my chest would be a relief right now. Tomorrow will be worse. Tomorrow, I’ll have to wake up in a world without her.

I crumple lower, sinking into my grief.

Mikail sighs as he takes my hand. His palm firm and warm. I think he’s going to try to get me to move or say something to make me feel better, but he doesn’t. He just holds my hand as we watch the surrender.