Page 7

MIKAIL

TOWN OF CETIL, YUSAN

A fter I get to my feet, I toss the scepter onto the ground, find a shovel, and start digging a hole.

Spade in the earth, dirt up and over onto a pile.

That’s all I focus on—moving dirt. It feels good to do something, anything with this soul-sucking grief.

Shovel, loosen earth to make a hole, repeat.

One motion, one thing at a time to keep madness at bay.

Anything, everything to keep from thinking about what I lost.

Once the hole is big enough, I gesture for Royo and Fallador to help me.

Royo looks like he’d rather be somewhere else.

His face takes on a shade of green I haven’t seen since Euyn was seasick, but he helps anyway.

We pull the remains of Sticks, my father’s beloved donkey, into the hole.

Then I start covering it. Spade, dirt, back into the ground.

The palace guard killed the animal for no reason.

The last time I visited Ailor, he was practically in love with the creature.

He’d bought Sticks to help with the harvest, and it was like he had another son.

He smiled and joked as the donkey nudged him and stole his hat.

I was happy that Sticks had brought youth back to his life.

I’d done similar for him when he found me in Gaya and raised me from a scarred little boy to a man.

He’d lost his wife but gained a son. Now there’s nothing I can do aside from stopping the scavengers. But I can do that much.

The others are searching the area, looking for any signs of my father, but I already know they won’t find him. Not here.

Qali Palace guards took him. They are the only ones who would write Baesinga on a house—the only ones who mark traitors to the throne.

Joon had said he would take good care of Ailor, but I thought it was an idle threat.

I thought he wouldn’t dare touch a decorated war hero.

Or maybe that’s what I’d wanted to believe.

Somewhere in the rubble is my father’s medal of valor.

Stars. He gave everything to this realm, and it wasn’t enough.

Ailor must be in Idle Prison, or he’s already dead.

Zahara hasn’t been in touch, but I’ll send eagle post as soon as I can.

I’d march on Qali to free him right now, but I have to wait and bide my time.

My whole life has been a long game, and I’m so tired of holding still while everything gets stripped away, but I remind myself that impatience results in disaster.

We need resources, weapons, and men before we face Joon.

I didn’t come this far and go through this much to fail. Not when I’m this close.

Still, useless rage boils my blood. He’ll pay. I swear on the stars and to the gods, Joon will pay. I’m not sure how much blood it will take to quench this grief, but I know how much I’m willing to try.

I pat down the dirt over the donkey’s remains, and I think of all the souls I will steal from Lord Yama.

Aeri already took care of General Salosa and Count Bay Chin.

She turned them to gold sand statues, dead at the bottom of Quu Harbor without a chance for their souls to be reborn.

I’ll bury the rest of the palace guard—right here, if I can, and Joon and Quilimar along with them.

I’ll have my revenge, and it will have to be enough.

My hands shake as I drop the shovel. Will it be enough?

My heart thumps an irregular beat. I’m not sure I can handle losing more, but there isn’t much more that can be taken from me.

I keep expecting to see Euyn setting up traps or looking over my shoulder, but he’s dead.

And now my father is gone. The five other people here are the only family I have left.

And if they die, I’ll surely be with them.

The ones we hate die first.

It’s what Aeri said. That is the promise I cling to. They will die first. I pick up the scepter and look for the others.

Baesinga .

I’ll show Yusan what treachery looks like.

I find everyone gathered at a wooden table by the patio. Somehow, the patio and table remained intact. It’s a sunshiny day, and I can almost imagine that we are visiting with my father. He’ll come out of the kitchen with a baked fish any moment now.

Then I look at the charred house and grip the staff.

This isn’t a picnic, and the time for daydreams and memories is over.

“Is it drinkable?” I point to a pail of water in the center of the table.

Depending on the crime, the palace guard is not above salting the earth and poisoning the well of a traitor. But I’m dying of thirst, so I’m willing to risk it.

“I tried it for poison,” Sora says. “It’s clean.”

I nod and lift the pail. There isn’t anyone I trust more than her.

I gulp down so much water, so quickly, that the front of my shirt becomes soaked.

I should sip slower, but using the relic causes unbelievable thirst. The scepter pulls water directly out of my body, and now the toll is twice as bad as it was the first time.

Aeri had tried to warn me, but there was no choice.

We didn’t have time to slowly row the boat out of Berm.

Besides, if the Weian bearers can survive two years constantly using the staff, I’ll be fine.

Sora walks over, her beauty actually enhanced by a simple cotton dress. Her purple eyes are filled with sincerity and shared grief.

“Mikail, I’m so… I’m so sorry,” she says.

“I know.” I do. I know if Sora could take this pain away, even if it meant her own suffering, she would. She understands loss and useless rage better than anyone.

“He’s probably been taken into custody,” she adds.

I nod. I have to believe that—believe he’s still alive and being held. But people don’t survive Idle Prison. Not really. Even if they live, they’re not the same. That place takes away all you are from the outside in.

She draws a long breath, hesitant to say something, but her expression morphs from concern into resolve. I smile—she’s still made of steel.

“I hate to ask, but seeing this… Is there a way we can go to Gain? I… I have to know.”

My cheeks tingle as the blood flows away from them. Today has actually gotten worse.

Sora had started asking about Gain when we were in Gaya, but then soldiers came crashing into our room and there wasn’t time to answer her. And then, shamefully, I simply forgot between wielding the scepter and finding my father’s house.

From the bottom of my heart, I don’t want to tell her about Daysum. Yet I owe her the truth.

I put the pail down and swallow hard. “Sora, walk with me, please.”

Her worry line shows, but she nods. “Of course.”

I offer her my arm, and she takes it.

We stroll down the groves we came through.

When we first climbed up this hill, just a little while ago, I was a different person.

I was excited, hopeful, and relieved. I thought I’d find my father pressing olives in front of his home and arguing with Sticks.

I thought we’d be safe under his quiet care for at least a night or two, the same way I was as a boy.

I used to wake up from endless nightmares and find Ailor tired but stoking a fire.

I’d sit next to him, and without asking me what I’d dreamed of, he’d read stories of a hero named Mikail.

It will be the same for Sora—there will be a before and after. And I can only hope I can provide some comfort to her the way my father did for me. I didn’t have the words to tell her in Loptra, but now, being here, I think I do.

“I used to eat olives and lemons off these trees as a boy,” I say. “Absolutely stuff myself. There are also capers that way. The combination with fish was frequently dinner and lunch. You’d think I’d have gotten sick of it, but I never did.”

She smiles and looks around at the grove.

“But that was after Ailor saved me from the Festival of Blood,” I say.

“My family, both my birth family and my childhood family, were slaughtered, as were tens of thousands of others. Ailor was a Yusanian captain who found me after that night of terror. His orders were to kill all survivors—anything with a heartbeat. But instead, he smuggled me back here and raised me as his son. He’d recently lost his wife, and he was living here alone before me. ”

“Oh, Mikail,” she says, her lashes wet. She squeezes my arm. “He sounds like a good man.”

“He is. We sat right here on the property and watched as they burned the victims on enormous pyres. You could see the smoke and flames for miles. Some of the ash carried all the way over the strait.”

“That must’ve been…” Sora sighs. “I don’t know. I can’t imagine it.”

“Everyone I loved, everything I knew was gone. The island was so close but out of reach for the rest of my life. Gaya had changed overnight, and suddenly there was nothing there for me anymore. Instead, I became Mikail—Ailor Vee’s son.

And so, I know what it feels like when I tell you now: there is nothing for you in Gain. ”

Sora turns to me, a line marring her forehead. “Of course there is, there—”

She stops, and her light skin turns whiter. She draws a shaky breath. I know she’s going to ask me about her sister, and I’m going to have to tell her. I’ve put it off for as long as I could. Maybe longer than I should’ve. But now, there is no escaping the truth.

My heart drums steadily as I wait. Sora closes her eyes and inhales. Then she exhales and stares directly at me.

“Daysum is dead,” she says.

“Yes.”

She exhales again. Or really, the air is knocked from her lungs by the impact. She lets go of my arm. I truly wish I didn’t have to do this, but I’m also glad that I am the one to tell her. I’m the only one who really knows how she feels.

She shakes her head. “When?”

“A sunsae ago,” I say. “More.”

She nods, but the pieces are falling into place in her mind. Her eyes move rapidly. I brace myself and wait.

“But how do you know? You couldn’t have just found out. We haven’t been to a messenger house since… How long have you known?”

I draw a breath. My own delay brought about this moment, my own actions and inactions. “Longer than I should’ve. I wanted to tell you in Loptra, but—”

She startles and takes a step back. She shakes her head as if she didn’t hear me correctly. But she did. I made sure to stand on her hearing side.

“Loptra?” she repeats.

“Yes.”

Backing up another step, she puts her hands in her hair. Then she pulls and screams. The cry echoes around us.

I have to stop myself from shuddering.

As soon as I said the city, it felt like Loptra was so long ago. Over a week has passed since I found out, but we were constantly running for our lives or in the midst of incredible danger.

“There wasn’t time to tell you, Sora,” I say.

She shakes her head. “We waited for days in Vashney…”

I close my eyes slowly. She is right. We waited for Aeri and Royo to meet us after we survived the Marnan attack.

But we had a mission, and I was dealing with Euyn’s wound and his spiraling conspiracy theories.

I thought telling her would only distract her, put her at risk.

“I wanted to tell you when we were safe.”

I realize how hollow it sounds, but it’s also the truth.

She laughs. “You know, I just spoke to Royo about how some secrets are kept out of love and others out of selfishness.” She stares off and then shakes her head. “I murdered men and women because I thought it would save Daysum. And you let me. Knowing it was already a lost cause.”

“Sora… We killed for each other.”

“If your father was dead, would you continue on?” She examines me, waiting to pounce on any tell, any lie.

I sigh. I already think he is. “I wouldn’t want to know.”

“But I did.” She slaps her hand to her chest. “And you made the choice for me. And so did Euyn. And so did Seok. And so did the king.” She stops and stares at Gaya across the Strait of Teeth. “This whole rotten thing can burn.”

I remain silent because she’s not wrong.

“And you can burn with it,” she says.

She stares at me with such intensity that I straighten my spine. I don’t grab for my sword, but I consider it. Not to hurt her, never to hurt her, but to defend myself.

But she’s not attacking me. Not physically.

Sora walks past me, and even though I want to reach out for her, I let her go. I tell myself she didn’t mean that. She said it because she needs time, but deep down I’m not sure she will change her mind. I am the one who broke our bond.

Taking a breath, I stare at the ground. This used to be a safe haven for me, a place of respite, but Ailor is gone and now we need to go somewhere else. I need a new plan—always a new plan. I have to go back to the others and tell them something. I have to lead because their lives are in my hands.

But I’m so very tired.

I let my shoulders fall. I allow the weight of all that’s happened to register for a moment. Just one. Sora’s hate, my father’s loss, finding out my real identity all too late. But I don’t think about Euyn’s murder. I can’t.

After one second, I gather myself again. I didn’t survive to stop now. Sora asked if I’d keep going if I knew the truth, and I didn’t spare it a thought. I have no choice. I always have to move forward.

Resolved once more, I turn to walk back to the patio, but there’s Aeri standing just a few yards away.

She must’ve overheard everything. With a sigh, I know there’s no sense in denying it.

I did what I thought was best for Sora, for all of us, and if I had to make the choice again, I’d do the same.

One hundred more times, and I would still do no different.

Sora was so broken after hearing her sister was sold that we couldn’t risk having her shatter.

It would’ve put everyone in danger to have her that distraught—not just herself.

If Sora chooses to hate me now, then she does.

I stand by the decision, and I’ll bear the consequences.

But there’s something off about Aeri. I squint as a feeling of wrongness drapes over me. I take a step closer. Her eyes are open, but she’s not moving at all. I thought she was speechless, but her hand is slightly raised, and she’s leaning forward. It’s like she’s turned into a statue.

It’s like she’s frozen.

I wave a hand in front of her eyes. She doesn’t blink.

“Aeri,” I say.

Nothing.

I clap my hands in front of her face, and she doesn’t move.

Stars, what is this?