Page 18

MIKAIL

CITY OF RAHWAY, YUSAN

R oyo is a strange bedmate. Euyn would be very confused if he could see us from the Kingdom of Hells.

I smile to myself as I peel off my bathrobe. Between his jealousy and his conspiracies, he’d have as much of a sense of humor about all of this as Royo does. But it is, in fact, funny.

Royo turns out his light and stiffly gets into the other side of the bed, folding the sheets around himself from roughly five feet away. He was going to sleep on the floor, but I pointed out that he was welcome to stay at the foot of the bed like a pet. And so here we are.

He obviously didn’t think through the logistics of sharing a room when he dodged staying the night with Aeri.

I stow the Water Scepter away, placing it under the bed.

As I sit on the soft mattress, I’m reminded of the last time I was here.

I pulled Euyn into the wardrobe with me and came up with our assassination plan, and then I took him on the bed.

He was definitely not five feet away from me, hugging the edge like it’s his last bronze mun.

Royo would be far more comfortable in Aeri’s bed if he could just let go of her deception.

And he should. People lie. We are frail, flawed creatures.

It seems silly to hold being human against someone.

“You know, I’ve never found any benefit to hanging on to the past,” I say to Royo’s back. “We exist in the present for a reason.”

He grunts.

“You should consider forgiving her,” I say. “It was an impossible situation.”

He flops over on the mattress with an exasperated sigh. “Why does everybody keep saying that?” His fist lands on the bed with a thud.

I lift an eyebrow. “You’re right. Surely everyone else isn’t being objective and you’re the only one seeing things correctly.”

He shoots me a death stare, then runs a hand over his scarred face.

“She hurt me,” he says to the ceiling.

It’s so plain, raw, and unexpected that my heart squeezes.

“I understand the feeling,” I say.

His eyes search my face, and I hold his gaze.

In the words unspoken between us are Euyn’s death and my complicated feelings for him.

I hurt him. He disappointed me. We deceived each other greatly and loved fiercely.

We forgave too much and too little at the same time.

Loving anyone is complicated; loving a Baejkin is a mess.

But there were moments of pure joy. Even growing up with Ailor, happiness wasn’t pure because Gaya was always on the horizon.

With the sweetness of lemon cakes and bedtime stories also came the tart sourness of having survived the Festival of Blood.

Of home being unreachable. But with Euyn I could lose myself in the way that being in love absorbs you completely.

Not only sex but the voracious way loving someone ties your souls together.

And now, I’m just unmoored.

“You know, there’s very little happiness in any of the realms,” I say. “If you’ve found some, I’d do a better job holding on to it.”

Royo responds with another sound that’s halfway between a sigh and a grunt.

Really, what does she see in him? There must be something, because Euyn liked Royo, too.

He trusted him, and he didn’t easily trust anyone—even me.

People say there can’t be love without trust, but you’re never more vulnerable than with someone who has your heart.

It would be foolish to unquestioningly trust them.

I suppose, at my core, I am different from Royo.

“Is this Rune guy serious about wanting to marry her?” he asks hesitantly. His whole body tenses as he waits for me to respond. He doesn’t want the answer, but he needs to know.

“He’s completely serious,” I say. “Marrying her would give his bid for the throne legitimacy far above Seok. She would wear the Immortal Crown until she passed it down to her son.”

After the audience with Rune, Fallador whispered that I should also consider marrying Aeri. Not for love but for the alliance. He has a point. It would unite the royalty of the two kingdoms, guarantee a free Gaya, and give us safety. As safe as royalty ever is.

He’s forgetting, of course, that Royo would murder me before our vows.

“A son,” he says through a locked jaw.

“That’s always the end goal in Yusan,” I say. “The continuation of the bloodline.”

I doubt Royo is going to sleep a drop on that note. Still, it’s been a long day, and we need to try. I turn off the oil lamp after drinking another glass of water. The thirst has mostly stopped, and in its place is intense physical pain.

As I lie down, every inch of my body feels like it was beaten. We killed over a dozen men and I barely broke a sweat, so it’s not that—it has to be the toll, the aches of massive dehydration. The only similar pain I felt today was telling Sora about Daysum.

I clench my teeth until they hurt, and then I sigh.

I suppose if I’m going to ask Royo to be honest with himself, I should do the same.

The truth is, I’m unfairly angry with Sora.

I shouldn’t be upset with her at all, but I am.

What I did, I did for her. We are similar enough that I don’t understand why she can’t see it.

I’m hurt that she views it the same as Euyn’s secrets when I was only trying to protect her.

I easily forgave Fallador and Gambria for withholding my parentage because they thought it was best. Why can’t she?

I rub my forehead. Again, I already know the answer—because she wouldn’t have done the same. She would’ve told me the truth. She would’ve been unable to keep it from me as a matter of honor.

I’m still awake and stewing over it when a brief, sharp scream punctures the night.

Sora.

Royo is already on his feet. I grab my sword and scepter, and we race toward the door.