Page 116 of Things We Hide from the Light

“I lied to him. I lied to all of you.”

“And now you’ll do better,” Naomi said, as if it were that simple.

“I will?”

“If you want to stay friends you will,” Sloane said. Three shots in and she was already listing to one side like she was on the deck of a ship.

“Friends make friends better. We accept the bad parts, celebrate the good parts, and we don’t torture you for your mistakes,” Naomi said.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t honest with you,” I said softly.

“It kind of makes sense now at least,” Sloane pointed out. “If I had to lie to my parents about everything just to lead a somewhat normal life, I can see how easily that would turn into a habit.”

“I get it,” Naomi said sympathetically. “I did lie to my parents about everything when I first got here because I was trying to protect them from my mess and Tina’s mess.”

“I know the feeling.” I stirred my straw around the water. “I actually let myself start to ask ‘what if?’”

“What if what?” Stef asked.

“What if it worked out with him? What if I stayed here? What if this was the sign I’d been looking for to quit my job and try something new? What if I could actually have normal?”

Naomi and Sloane were staring at me with wide, watery eyes.

“Don’t,” I warned.

“Oh, Lina,” Naomi whispered.

“I know you don’t like to be touched, and I respect that,” Sloane said. “But I think you should know that I’m hugging you in my mind.”

“Okay. No more shots for you,” I decided.

They both continued to stare at me like big doe-eyed, needy cartoon characters. “Make it stop,” I begged Stef.

He shook his head. “There’s only one way to make it stop.”

I rolled my eyes. “Ugh, fine. You can hug me. But don’t spill anything on me.”

“Yay!” Sloane said.

They hugged me from both sides. There, sandwiched between a drunk librarian and a tipsy community relations director, I felt just a little bit better. Stef patted me awkwardly on the head.

“You deserve to be happy and have normal,” Naomi said, pulling back.

“I don’t know what I deserve. Nash hit pretty much every shame and guilt button I have.”

“He dropped a truth bomb on me at one of Waylay’s games earlier this season,” Naomi sympathized.

“Thank God the season’s almost over,” Stef joked.

“You know why honesty is so important to him, don’t you?” Naomi asked me.

I shrugged. “I guess it’s important to everyone.”

“Knox and Nash’s dad is an addict. Duke started using drugs—mostly opioids—after their mom died. Knox said every day with their dad felt like a lie. He’d swear he was sober or promise he’d never use again. He’d commit to picking them up after school or tell them he’d be at their football games. But he just kept letting them down. Over and over again. One lie after another.”

“That sucks,” I admitted. My upbringing had its challenges…you know, like dying in front of all my friends and their families. But that didn’t compare to how Knox and Nash had grown up. “However, unpopular opinion here. You’re not responsible for how you were brought up, but youareresponsible for your actions and reactions once you’re an adult.”

“That’s true,” Naomi admitted before guzzling more wine.