Page 87 of Things We Hide from the Light

He shook his head. “Physically, you’re healing. But mentally? You’re not the same. You hide it. But the cracks are starting to show.”

“I’m gonna need something stronger than coffee if we’re having this conversation,” Knox muttered.

I picked up my coffee and considered whipping it at him. “Get to the point, Lucy.”

“You don’t need distractions. You need closure. You need to remember. You need to find Hugo. And you need to get him off the street.”

“Getting Hugo off the street doesn’t change a damn thing about what’s already happened. Andhow the hellis remembering what happened going to put me back together again?”

Did that blank spot in my memory hold the key? If I finally remembered how it felt to face death, would I be ready to live again? Wasn’t that part of what I was struggling with? I could put criminals behind bars, but that didn’t undo what they’d already done. I could stop them from doing it again, but I couldn’t prevent the first.

I must have raised my voice because the couple at the table next to us turned to look at me.

“I can’t believe you got me out of bed with Naomi for this,” Knox complained.

“Same here.”

“Your brother was in bed with Lina,” Lucian tattled.

“The fuck he was. The fuck you were,” Knox said, swinging my way.

“Don’t you fucking start,” I warned.

“I told you to stay away from her.”

“I told her the same,” Lucian said.

“What? Why?” Knox and I snapped together.

“Same team, Knox,” Lucian reminded him.

“Did you threaten her?” I asked, my voice low and dangerous.

“You’re damn right I did.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Both of you,” my brother demanded.

“She’s taking advantage of you,” Lucian insisted.

“You’re really starting to piss me off, Lucy,” I warned.

“Good. That’s a start.”

“You are not to go near Lina again,” I told him. “You can’t fucking threaten people on my behalf. Especially not her.”

“I can’t believe you’re sleeping with Lina after I told you not to,” Knox growled.

“And you can’t bury your head in the sand hoping things will get better. Your father spent the last few decades numbing himself to life. What you’re doing isn’t much different,” Lucian said.

A charged silence fell over our table as we glared at each other.

“I’m depressed. Okay, you fucking assholes? My life has been one big black hole since I woke up in that hospital bed. Happy now?” It was the first time I’d admitted it out loud. I didn’t much care for it.

“Do I look happy?”

To his credit, Lucian looked miserable.

“Tell me what any of this has to do with Lina,” my brother said, his face in his hands.