Page 13

13 The Last Night

The food was excellent, of course. It was one of the best restaurants in the city, exclusive to members and we had a private cubicle, which was reserved for Rain Wild. The receptionist of course knew Wild on sight. Candlelight, champagne flutes, and wickedness in his eyes added a layer of mystery and sensuality to the meal.

A piano played in the distance, and a gorgeous female singing voice drifted through the restaurant, filling the air and hearts with longing. Or perhaps it was just mine that thundered so painfully as I looked at Rain over my champagne glass. Pure magnetism radiated from him, that energy and passion which trapped me in the sensuous bubble he created.

Being with him seemed to push aside my stone-cold cynicism and the weight of my jadedness. He drew out the romantic Herm I once was, made me feel years younger, na?ve and foolish. Try as I might, I could not fight it, not then, not when faced with his easy smile. Under that smile, I felt pieces of me reorder, and the world took on a different hue. As if a torch had lit up the darkness, revealing that which had been hidden from me.

I had been on countless dates, yet never this sophisticated, never this luxurious, and never under such intense gaze and attention from another. Every part of Rain was honed in on me, his every movement, every glance and fleeting emotion. I was the centre of his world, and I was his to worship. To say it was flattering, would be to describe a wave as a flow of the ocean. It was compelling and seductive, and incredibly arousing.

We spoke of non-important things, of the city’s outer expansion with the swell of migrants from the western border with another Herm state of Ilisara. We spoke of people we once knew, being careful to avoid any mention of lovers. I spoke of Pa, and realised that Rain knew them for longer than I. It made me oddly shy, and at a disadvantage. He spoke of Pa’s long service and how they first met my Ma on a mission to South Gendria. Pa had once confided the whole tale to Rain, back in the day when they would share a cigar and whisky at the club after work. Naturally, I had another version of that story; a holiday, where Pa met Ma, and it was love at first sight. Rain’s version was that Ma saved Pa from an assassin, and then stitched Pa’s knife wound in a hotel room.

Too soon, the waiter took away our empty plates.

‘Where did you get the scars on your back?’ I asked as we waited for dessert.

Rain’s gaze shot to me in surprise, before his face quickly shuttered. But not before I caught a flicker pain and rage flit across his expression, raw and brutal, before quickly vanishing.

I almost regretted destroying the easy moment we shared over the meal. Almost. The man knew all my demons, every sordid detail and moment of my life. Unbeknownst to me, he had been part of those sordid moments. Yet even now, I knew nothing of him or his demons. It was time I unleashed the devil inside and demanded my due. So I faced him relentlessly, unapologetically, awaiting his reply, and nothing but the full sordid truth of it. For a moment his gaze challenged me, refused me. When I did not back down, he smiled bitterly.

‘Come now, Rain. Surely we know each other far too intimately for there to be any secrets between us.’

Images of him in front of me on his knees with my cock in his mouth came to me. Of him pounding into me in a sleazy sexclub. From the rising heat in his gaze, I suspected he was there with me, reliving those moments, reliving my cock inside him only yesterday.

‘It was a home invasion,’ he spoke at length. ‘With no purpose other than to hurt and to drive my family from the northern suburbs of the city. We were one of the few Gendrian families who still lived in that part of the city. Our grandparents and great grandparents had lived there before us, before Gendria ceded it to Brandria. We accepted Brandria as our country, but some could not accept us as part of their country. There were five of them, Herms. Father fought them and was killed instantly. I think it was a mercy for him. I also fought, but I was no match for three full grown Herms. I managed to stab one, and for that, two of them held me down, whilst the third carved out flesh from my back. They raped all of us, Mother, my sister and me. My sister was brutalised more than the rest of us. They took turns with her, beat her and strangled her as they did. She survived, but was scarred, like me. She was only twelve.’

I tried not to flinch, not to react, for I knew it would make it harder for him to see it.

‘How old were you?’ I whispered, as everything stilled in me in that deathly, empty way, a type of cold fury and numb acceptance. Like him, I was now caught in a storm I could not escape from, at its mercy as it tossed and crashed me against the ground.

‘Fourteen,’ he said dispassionately. ‘After that, my mother and sister moved to Gendria, whilst I remained behind. I stayed with my grandparents for a time, before joining the army.’

Silence fell between us.

I picked up the flute of champagne and sipped. ‘How is it you don’t hate every Herm on sight?’

He looked at me steadily, knowing what I was truly asking. ‘That’s an awful lot of hate, Ari. Hate like that tends to eat you from inside out.’

‘Then you are a better person than me,’ I said quietly.

I knew that he wanted to fix that part of me, for my sake. A deep part of me wanted him to fix it too. Hate was tiring. I was tired, drained by it. Sitting here with him made me crave peace.

‘When I joined the agency,’ he continued. ‘I hunted down everyone one of those bastards and killed them. They are the only ones who deserved my vengeance.’

‘And did you find peace after you killed them all?’ I asked quietly, because I suddenly needed to know my fate, needed to know if it would ever end.

‘The scars and memory will forever remind me of what had happened to me and those I loved. There is no peace to be had from it. Instead, I found rest from the constant need for vengeance, from hate burning me up. For once they were gone, there was no one else left to hate.’ He was silent for a long moment, watching me take it in, absorb it, turn it over in my mind and examine it from every angle. ‘Perhaps it’s time you found rest too, Ari.’

Suddenly I could not hold his gaze. ‘I do not know how, Rain.’

He leant forward, placed his hand over mine on the table. ‘There is more to life than grief and hate, more to feel than the bottomless hunt for punishment and vengeance.’

I kept my gaze on his searing touch and savoured the sensation of comfort and safety. In that moment, nothing seemed important but his hand on mine. Strange how such a simple gesture felt so much more intimate than anything we have done together so far.

‘We need to bring them down, Rain.’ It was the best I could offer him.

‘We will, Ari. They will answer for all of it.’

After we finished our dessert, Rain took care of the bill, and we got into his car. He sat there a moment without starting the engine, staring ahead. ‘I can take you straight home, Ari, or you can return to mine for a drink. If you return to mine, I will make love to you, and you will spend the night in my bed. I will make love to you with my tongue, my hands, my cock. I dare say we’ll not get much sleep.’

I remained silent, as stifling tension built in the small confines of the car. I had been aroused all night, had craved everything he was now offering. I was not ready to leave him, or for the night to end. But I would be a bastard to accept, considering what I intended to do. Tomorrow I would destroy his heart and any hope he had entertained for us to be more than brief but fierce lovers.

Take me home. I wanted to say.

‘Take me to yours,’ came out instead.

He started the engine without looking at me.

The porter opened the door for me when we arrived and took the car keys from Rain to park his car.

Rain took me upstairs in a lift, using the moment of privacy to push me against the wall and kiss me furiously, as if he could not wait another moment.

When the lift reached his apartment, he released me, far too easily for my liking, and walked to the bar. There, he poured two glasses of brandy and handed one to me. I kicked off my shoes, and sat on the sofa, whilst he sat on the other one facing it.

‘You keeping your distance, Rain? A little hard to make love from all the way over there.’

His mile was wicked, as he lounged back. ‘Pull up your dress, Ari. Slowly now. I want to watch.’

Such wickedness and sin shone in his eyes, it hooked me and drew me in. So I did as he bid. Slowly, I pulled up my dress, revealing my calves, knees and thighs, revealing the gun strapped to my leg, and the daring underwear I wore.

He put his glass aside, rose, and getting on his knees in front of me, gently ran his hands along my legs. Hooking his fingers either side of my underwear, he slowly, lusciously pulled the lace down, past the gun, past my knees and over my feet.

He put my underwear to his nose and inhaled deeply.

Bloody hell, I almost threw myself at him.

He put my underwear in his pocket, then his hands ran up my leg again and pushed open my thighs. ‘Open your legs wide,’ he instructed.

I did, exposing myself to him.

He kissed the skin on the inside of my thighs, up towards my centre. As I arched towards him, he briefly liked my core, then rose and returned to his seat. ‘Now touch yourself. Pleasure yourself. I want to see you insert your fingers into yourself,’ His voice was husky gravelly, straining with his own arousal tenting his trousers.

I moved my hand and did as he demanded, whilst he watched, sipping his brandy. I might have thought him indifferent, save for his hand almost crushing the glass. It was arousing as hell, and my hips began to undulate, my eyes on him.

He put aside his glass, and unbuttoned his trousers, pulling out his cock. Sitting back, he began to stroke it without taking his eyes off me.

‘Bloody hell,’ I breathed, because I had no other words for it. And I could bare it no longer. I needed his hands on me. ‘Rain … please …’

He moved, his face fierce, and lowered himself to his knees in front of me. Hell, but I could never get enough of his blue eyes gazing up at me from between my legs.

He caressed the gun on my thigh. ‘Fuck, that’s erotic, Rockhall. Don’t take it off until we are done.’

He lowered his head to kiss the inside of my thigh, then moved my hands out of his way, staring at me there.

‘So beautiful, Ari. You are so fucking beautiful,’ he mumbled gruffly, before gripping my hips, pulling me forward like a platter and lowering his head.

My hips jerked up as his lips fixed on the feminine part of my core, his tongue lapping the sweet wetness at my quim.

My head fell backwards in ecstasy, as I undulated into his mouth, against his tongue. Then his tongue slipped inside me.

‘Rain …’ I moaned and dug my fingers into his hair, holding him there as if afraid he’d move away.

He took my hips in his hand, lifted me gently, and continued to lick and stroke me with his tongue, sucking and licking as if I was a creamy platter of sweets. I moaned, delirious, wild … The climax crashed on me with fierce force and light exploded behind my eyes. I cried out, gasping, gripping his head as I undulating against his mouth wildly.

Then everything was still. My eyes were closed as I swam in ecstasy, limbs loose and flaccid. I could feel his ragged breath between my legs, my fingers twining in his hair.

Then I felt him gently pull down the shoulder straps of my dress to reveal my pert breasts. He cupped one, groaned and gently sucked the nipple.

I opened my eyes.

His face was tense with his own unspent tension. ‘I love seeing you like this,’ he said.

I reached for his trousers, but he stayed my hand. ‘Not here. In my bed, Ari. I want to take you in my bed. I had waited for this for too many years to deny myself that much.’

I suddenly felt inexplicable tenderness towards him. I stroked his face. Enjoying the feel of coarse stubble. ‘Lead the way,’ I whispered.

He pulled me up, and I stepped out of my dress, walking naked beside him, save for the revolver strapped to my thigh. There was something symbolic in him leading me naked to his bedchamber, and I suspected he had done it deliberately. I was his, in his domain, at his mercy. His to love, his to undress and his to bed.

In his bedroom, he loomed over me even more. It was a humbling sensation being naked in front of someone who was still fully clothed. His eyes ran over me possessively, before he pulled me into his arms and kissed me fiercely. My body was once again aflame. Suddenly my back hit the soft bed, as both of us frantically removed his clothing.

He had a flat, male chest with hairs that were erotic and daring, and I ran my fingers over them. He froze, breathing harshly watching me explore him with my hands and fingers.

I kissed his chest. He tasted like sin and passion, rich and heady. I licked his nipple and was surprised to find it reacted like that of any Herm, tightening into a ball.

His muscles twitched, yet he let me look, watched me as I trailed the dark line of hair towards his groin and his savagely engorged cock. I wrapped my hand around it, reverently, and it jerked in my grip. Wide, hot and so blasted hard, I suspected he was in a fair amount of discomfort.

‘You are fucking everything I want,’ he growled, as his hand dug into my hair and he lifted my face so he could plunder my mouth again with his tongue. His words were devastating. His kiss more so, for it mirrored his words. ‘Ari, I swear, I’m about a breath away from exploding.’ His voice was hoarse with need.

I wanted him, so bloody badly, I almost wept at the injustice, at the confusion of the emotions surging through me, none of which I dared give voice to. I wanted to yield to him fully, bare myself to him, heart and soul, wanted to confess all.

I closed my eyes, breathed him in, filled my body with his essence. I did not want to think of tomorrow. Tonight, I would have him to myself. I would have this.

‘Make love to me, Rain.’

The world retreated, save for Rain kissing me, his hands roaming along my body, his fingers probed me below.

‘So wet, Ari. And all for me,’ he said as he replaced his fingers with the tip of his cock and pushed inside. Slowly at first, his cock brutal in size stretching me, sinking into my heat, devastating to my senses.

My own erection brushed against his stomach. My hips moved up to meet him, demanding more, wanting all he had to give me. With a curse, he lunged the last few inches to be fully seated in me. It was not painful. I was laughably far from being a virgin, yet the pleasantly throbbing discomfort was there for a few moments.

I brushed his back with my fingertips, tracing his scars, unable to fully form thoughts, lifting my hips in delirious need have him deeper in me, meeting his thrusts. My mind drifted away and I lost all sense of myself, for I was Rain and Ari combined, a merging of two beings.

And he thrust, his hard, hairy stomach rubbed against my cock, and that sensation went straight to my brain, like a dagger of pleasure, turning me into a mindless rutting animal, who was now undulating without grace or finesse against him, moaning, groaning, gripping him and digging my nails into his skin. I bit his shoulder, as the most fierce climax began to build. And I felt as if my whole life had spiralled towards this moment, where I was meeting his fierce thrusts with like, where his scent was all I knew and his voice whispering my name was all I heard.

‘Feel me in you, Ari,’ he was saying mindlessly, breathlessly. ‘Feel where I belong …’

Sharp burst of pleasure erupted inside me, radiating outwards from my stomach, until it engulfed my cock in a second wave of destruction, and all at once, such pleasure shook me that I could not cry out, could not move, could only tremble and shake and allow the light to burst in my eyes.

I was only vaguely aware that, Rain had also gone stiff, crying out his own climax, his head thrown back, his muscles taught.

For long moments, we lay there in silence, as the enormity of what just happened hit me. I had a double climax, beyond anything I could even describe. As the sensation retreated, and my brain began its slow progress towards comprehension, I suddenly realised that only with Rain was it ever possible and could ever be possible.

So long I chased it, so long something felt missing, and yet, wrapped in his arms, my head on his chest, I felt that everything that was missing was right here. The thought stunned and confused me. It made no sense on any level. A wetness flowing down my cheek made me aware that I was silently crying. Hell, tears were flowing down my cheek. I had not even wept for Ma.

The tears reached Rain’s hairy chest, and he moved his arm on which I was lying to cradle my head, to gently stroke wordless comfort.

He said nothing, and I did not speak, only allowed more tears to roll. For in this moment, he had finally and irreparably took apart the last piece of that broken mirror, thoroughly destroying what I was.

Emotion coursed through me like a river long held back, flooding every part, every void in me. Angry, raging, free … I felt. He made me feel. I felt everything all at once and it was too much.

‘Shh, darling, he crooned. ‘I’m here.’

And that was all he said, for he understood, and knew what he had done. He had taken me apart piece by broken piece.

But he would not be putting me back together again, for there was no fixing me, and there was no future for us.

He cradled me, and I let him, and soon we fell asleep.