Page 9 of The Wolf’s Secret Baby

Typhon

I could feel Kull’s taut skin beneath my fingers. I squeezed and gripped, eager to unleash my frustrations upon him. He never wanted to make our situation better. He never wanted to try to be better than we were, and this was the final insult.

“You need to give up on this foolish ambition you have, Typhon. Nothing is ever going to change,” he barked, as he had claimed so many times before.

“No, I shall never give up. Your way is madness and cowardice.”

“I am no coward. You are, for sniveling at Vance’s feet. I’m surprised you did not fling yourself to your knees and kiss them.”

“I only pay respect to him due to his position. He is the Alpha, and he is a means to an end. Once I get what I want then I will have no more use for him. It doesn’t matter if it’s Vance or anyone else, I would treat them in exactly the same way. I know why you’re upset. It’s all about her, isn’t it?”

Kull snarled and lunged forward, pushing me back to the point where I could feel the blanket fluttering against my back.

“Stop this!” Ambrosia cried. The tone of her voice was so different to ours that it interrupted our intense rage immediately. We both turned to stare at her. Her features were pinched, and she glared at us as though we were misbehaving pups. “Fight all you want but if you do then at least have the courtesy of releasing me. You brought me here to please your Alpha, which clearly did not happen. I am not prepared to remain here and become a slave. I have a life waiting for me.”

“You can’t leave,” Kull said in a guttural tone. “You have seen our home and heard of our plans. It is too much of a risk.”

Ambrosia barked out a disbelieving sound and lifted her gaze. “Do you believe I would tell anyone about this? Even if I did, do you think anyone would believe me? This is utter madness,” she shook her head. “You’ve ruined my life and for what, the chance to impress some bully?”

“Vance is no bully. He is the Alpha,” I said. She didn’t understand our ways at all.

“The two things are not mutually exclusive,” she walked towards a smooth rock that protruded from the walls and used it as a seat. “I want to have a civil conversation with you two. I don’t want this to descend into violence. Would you mind standing on separate sides of the room. It might help to create some distance between you. It might even feel better to sit down,” she said. I glanced at Kull and waited for him to move first. We trudged to opposite sides of our alcove and then sank down, crossing our legs. I pursed my lips and looked away from him, picking up stray fragments of stone and turning them around in my fingers.

“That’s better. I don’t think there’s a need for all of this hostility, especially because you’re not truly angry at each other. You’re angry that your plan didn’t work. I saw the way you were treated by the others. I think that you two spend a lot of time together, and you are all each other has. Is that right?”

“Maybe,” I grumbled.

“Okay, so I don’t think you really want to fight each other then, do you? Because if you did then you would both be alone. Now, I want to survive, but to do that I need to understand how things work around here. Vance might have dismissed my usefulness, but I might be able to convince him that I can be more than just a body to mine resources. I’m not yet ready to accept that I’m going to spend the rest of my life here, or that there’s going to be a great war that will end humanity but for the duration of my stay, I want to be treated with respect, and I am going to do everything in my power to ensure that this happens. Typhon, Kull, why exactly do the other wolves treat you as though you are different to them? You have mentioned your nature being the problem, but what exactly do you mean?”

I cast a surly glance towards Kull. We both breathed heavily. He cocked his eyebrow, suggesting that I should tell the story.

“Because we are not true wolves, in some people’s opinion.”

“What do you mean?” Ambrosia asked, her brow knotted in confusion.

“We were not born of two parents. We were built and designed in a laboratory. We were bred from donated material, grown in some jar where people came and stared at us all the time. Scientists thought of us as curiosities and experiments. We have been designed to fight, to be strong warriors, but because we did not come about organically the others see us as unnatural, unblessed by the Moon. To them, we are little more than tools. All our lives we have tried to overcome this and prove that we are just as pure as any of them. The same blood runs through our veins, but they can never see this.”

“Would it help to find your parents?” Ambrosia asked. She was thinking deeply about the matter.

“We don’t have parents, only donors,” Kull replied.

“There were more than two. Our genetic material was made from many different sources. They wanted us to be faster, stronger, the two most powerful wolves to ever have lived,” I explained, looking down at my palms as I flexed my fingers.

“Okay, so if that’s the case then wouldn’t you be able to win against Vance? That would be a surefire way to get their respect. You could ask for anything then,” she said.

“They would never accept us, even if we went about things in the ancient traditions,” Kull interjected. I happened to disagree with him, but there was no point arguing about it when it wasn’t going to happen.

“It’s not that simple. It’s not only that we’re experiments, it’s that we’re failed experiments. We weren’t what the scientists hoped we would be. All of their methodology was proved to be flawed. I can still remember the disappointment in their eyes when they ran us through tests, and we failed to reach the expectations set out for us. There is perhaps more aggression in our bodies, but we are not vastly superior to the other wolves as was hoped. That is why there are only two of us. When they look at us, they see abominations, and worse, they see a waste of time and resources. Even if we discovered who donated their genetic material to give us life, they would not want anything to do with us. It would only be a source of shame. The scientists who raised us disowned us as soon as they could.”

Ambrosia gasped and raised a hand to her face. “That explains so much then. I’m so sorry,” she looked earnestly at us both in turn.

I scowled in confusion. The last thing I needed was her pity. “Why are you sorry? There’s nothing to be sorry about.”

“Oh Typhon, yes there is,” she said softly, tilting her head to the side. “You may not understand it now, but you’ve lived a hard life and you’ve been treated terribly. You see, the view we have of the world and ourselves is often formed in our early years. You weren’t given much of a chance at all, I’m afraid. Instead of having caregivers you had scientists and they studied you rather than raised you. This aggression you feel did not have to be your defining characteristic. If someone had been there to nurture you properly then you might have been able to become more than you thought possible. All your life you have been told you are different and, eventually, if we’re told something enough then we start to believe it, even when it isn’t true. I know that he’s your Alpha, but Vance is a bully and he’s been abusing you. Typhon, Kull, you’re victims.”

We both scoffed at the same time and shook our heads. “Victims? No, you don’t know what you’re saying. Who are you to come in here and say these things to us?”

Ambrosia rose up and looked down her nose at us. “I am Dr. Ambrosia Hart. If you were in my office, then you would see all the qualifications and certifications hanging on my wall. I have made a career out of studying the mind and human behavior. I know more about this than you could ever know, and I have seen people in your position before, people who strive to earn the respect of someone else, when such a thing is never possible. Vance grinds you down, insults you, belittles you. You do realize that there is nothing to say that life has to be this way, right? Just because you have been treated this way your entire life does not make it right, or the natural order of things. This entire pack has never given you the basic respect that every living thing deserves. Frankly, I don’t think it should matter how you were brought into this world. Life is life, no matter what shape it takes. It wasn’t as though you chose to volunteer for this procedure either. Why should you be punished for the actions of other men? You are being judged for things outside of your control, and you are never given the opportunity to be more than you are. He may be the Alpha, but he is holding you back, and nothing is ever going to change as long as you stay in this pack. I’m sorry for what you’ve been through. It must have been a hard life.”

I furrowed my brow. The words she spoke made sense and yet I did not want to hear them. It was anathema for me to think that we were victims, or that it could have been different.

“You wouldn’t understand. We are wolves, not humans,” I snarled.

“It’s perfectly fine to be angry. It can be difficult to challenge the beliefs that have been with us all our lives. I know you think that this is normal because it’s what you have been used to. You may be wolves, but I think that there are similar thoughts running through the minds of people in this pack as there are back where I’m from. People can be cruel and judgmental. They can let their prejudices get the better of them, even when the people they’re prejudiced against are children. All of that abuse you suffered at such a young age has taken its toll and shaped your view of the world. It’s going to be hard, but we can change that. I can help you accept it.”

For a moment my mind flashed back to my earliest memories. I was in a room with Kull, being tested over and over again. I could hear the disappointment in the voices of the scientists. I wanted to do better. I wanted to please them and make them proud. I was tired of them looking at us as though we had let them down, but there didn’t seem to be any way for me to do what they wanted. Instead, they left Kull and I alone, cold and deprived of touch. That was until the day when they let us leave, saying that they had no more use for us. We were allowed to join the pack, but people looked at us strangely then and it had been that way ever since. We had always been picked on, taunted, and generally seen to be the worst of the pack. Was Ambrosia right?

“What if we do not wish to accept it?” I asked in a low voice.

Ambrosia placed her hands on her knees and exhaled slowly. “Then you are always going to be the people they think you are. You’re going to define yourself through their opinions of you and you are never going to be your own men. I doubt you will ever find peace, because they will never give you what you are searching for. The true kind of peace and happiness can only be found within. It’s not an easy path but it is one worth walking. You deserve a chance to heal,” she said, shifting her gaze between both of us. I was still skeptical, although Kull was clearly considering it.

“What you say makes sense,” Kull admitted.

I curled my lip. “We are not victims!” I cried out.

“There’s no shame in admitting that what you’ve been through isn’t something anyone should go through. I have dealt with many people who have suffered through traumatic upbringings, and it is never too late to confront the damage and try to heal, but it will get harder and harder the more time that passes. None of these people value you, so you do not value yourselves and that is not the way anyone should live. Believe me, I know what I’m talking about. This is my area of expertise.”

I wasn’t sure I could trust her. She seemed knowledgeable but she also wanted to escape. What if this was some trick designed to twist our minds? I didn’t have a chance to think about things as we were interrupted.

“Typhon, Kull, reveal yourselves,” a demanding voice uttered from beyond the entrance to our alcove. I bristled at the sound and my nostrils flared. The last thing I wanted was his company.