Page 19

19

JACOB

I glanced over at the closed bedroom door where Kelly slept. My forehead rested against the frame, and I listened to her occasional whimpers that spoke of bad dreams. Part of me wanted to go wake her, but she needed to regain her strength after almost losing control. I wouldn’t take this rest from her.

Pulling my phone from my pocket, I headed into the kitchen. While I wasn’t sure if I was ready to learn more about Shane’s betrayal—and Chad was a reliable source—I needed to hear my mother’s input. That would be the absolute truth. Although, it’d suck to know he’d done it. However, I wasn’t sure how I was going to look him in the eyes anymore, let alone attend Pack functions with him there. Our near meeting during Jared’s verdict had sent me to the brink. I wouldn’t have held it together if we’d spoken.

Releasing a breath, I knew what I had to do. I had to call Mom. Not only that, but I could ask her to delay the Pack Council meeting, at least for a short time. That might be for the best. With Kelly’s beast about to consume her tonight and her being overwhelmed by her senses, I needed to help her. Should I tell Mom about Kelly?

Ugh. Not yet.

Besides, I couldn’t let her meet them unprepared. The thought of either the Pack or someone else hurting her set my teeth on edge, but I shook those thoughts. Madness lay that way.

As I dialed my mother’s phone number, I walked to the other end of the condo, ducking into a guest room where I threw myself backward on the bed. The phone rang four times before my mother’s voice came over the line.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Mom. It’s Jacob. I was wondering if you had a moment to talk.”

“Jacob! Of course, I have time for you. I’ve missed you, dear.” The warmth in her voice soothed the tension in my shoulders. “Shane said you needed some space, so I’ve hoped you would reach out to me, especially after this afternoon.” She paused. “Is everything okay?”

Ever since I was little, she’d had a sixth sense when something troubled me. For the longest time, I’d wondered if her werewolf side helped her notice, but maybe I underestimated the saying about a mother’s intuition. How in the world could I answer her truthfully?

“If I’m honest, Mom, then no. It’s actually not.” I didn’t know how to continue, so I stared at the ceiling, trying to gather my thoughts.

“Jacob, talk to me. Do you want me to come over? We could chat in person.”

But silence squeezed my throat like a noose. My jaw clenched. I needed to grow some balls and open up to her. Hell, it’d been a while since we’d even talked. Hearing her voice made me happy. I just had to share what was bothering me.

“Okay, I’ll spill. You don’t need to come over. I’m… I’ll…” I blew out a breath. “It’s about Shane. I overheard a rumor at Pack HQ that he wasn’t proactive about my voicemail. He didn’t let anyone know until earlier this week?” The pain of bringing this subject up was intense. I didn’t want to think about my brother’s hurtful actions and yet I needed to get this off of my chest. My mother would tell me the truth.

“I was hoping we’d talk before anyone else let you know. I’m sorry you found out that way.” Behind my mother’s diplomatic words was something familiar, something wild and angry. “In other words, yes. What you heard was true. Your brother doesn’t have good standing within the Pack—much less in my heart right now. If we’d known, our trackers might’ve rescued you and the others captured sooner. That would’ve been much better. I’m sorry you went through that, dear. I truly am.”

The sting of her words tugged at my chest. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything since she was going through all of this too. To be caught in between her two sons had to be terrible. And yet, knowing Chad told me the truth made me feel horrible and low.

“Don’t worry about it, Mom. You shouldn’t feel sorry. It wasn’t you.” I wiped a hand over my face, wishing I could punch someone or something. “Anyway, it wasn’t as if I gave you much chance to get in touch with me. I…” My nails scraped over the stubble on my cheek. “What I experienced was awful. Nothing I’d wish on my worst enemy. I just needed time to recover from it all.”

“You don’t need to explain, honey. If you want to talk, I’m here. You don’t have to go through this alone. Even if you don’t feel comfortable speaking to me about this, there are others in the Pack who can lend an ear. Others went through it as well. You’re not alone.” Her voice sounded tired, but genuinely supportive. “I know it might be asking a lot, but I need to speak with you about something. The Pack Council wishes to meet regarding what you’ve been through.”

“Mom, I don’t think I’m ready to talk with the Council. I need time to process everything. Explaining this to someone else right now? I don’t think that’s a good idea.” My eye twitched as tension built behind my eyes. “Can you please delay it? I’ll gladly talk with them, just not now. If it was any other time or regarding any other situation…” I hoped she’d be forgiving, but I needed to stand up for myself.

“I’m sorry, Jacob, but this is important. It’s not my place, but I suppose I could speak with Aaron.” She stifled a yawn. “I’ll chat with him once we disconnect from the call and let you know what he says. You’re not in any trouble, and the discussion won’t take much time. We’re speaking with all the wolves—and a few other shifters—who were at the research facility, dear. Are you sure you can’t spare an hour? It’s important for us to know what the scientists learned about our kind. It could help us protect our people against future attacks.”

I moved my hand to my chest and shook my head. Her words made me feel selfish about not wanting to meet. She was right, but she made it sound so easy. I could shed light on their practices, especially with the information Kelly and I had taken from the lab. But still… Was it a good idea? Maybe but not yet.

I’d grown up as her mini-shadow, watching her carry out her duties as a councilmember. An hour might turn into five with hard-hitting questions that felt more like an interrogation than a conversation. While I admired my Alpha, and he’d been good to me growing up, he was in charge of a large Pack of wolves. He had to keep the order, even if it meant hurting feelings or being ruthless sometimes.

“Mom, I’m sure. I’d prefer more time to recover before standing before the Council.”

“Hmm… I suppose, but I hope you’ll still visit the Pack again soon. I’m eager to introduce you to the woman who will be your mate.” Any hint of tiredness in her voice evaporated, and she sounded genuinely happy. “Isn’t this splendid? You’ll finally have a woman to care for you. She might be a source of comfort in this difficult time.”

Something in her voice set me on edge. I wasn’t sure I liked it. Was there something else Chad hadn’t told me? I hoped not, but anything was possible.

My heart sank, and I sat up to look at the guest bedroom door, making sure I was still alone. “What are you talking about, Mom? I’m not… I don’t need…” What could I say? Not interested in a relationship? I was. But the only woman I wanted was Kelly. She was the light of my life.

“You haven’t settled down yet, honey, and it’s about time you did. You know how important it is for a wolf to have a mate. Sometimes, one isn’t available, and you need to search for a female wolf who will keep you happy. Once you begin to feel better, you’ll be able to start a new life together with a woman who was born a werewolf. Just like what your father and I have.”

While she sounded pleased about that, I knew what their marriage was like, and that wasn’t something I wanted. They worked together at the family business, but my mother held the power in their relationship. She was on the Pack’s Council and spoke more about her role to me than she did with my father. It didn’t help that Dad took one business trip after another.

The notion of a loveless marriage away from Kelly angered me.

“I’m still in college. Shouldn’t you be matchmaking Shane first? He’s older.” I hated bringing him up, but it was true.

“I doubt your brother is ready for a relationship, even if he wanted one. You’re different. You have a big heart, and you deserve to have someone in your life who will cherish you.” Her words carried such conviction. “And you can continue with your studies while courting your mate.”

I hated her answer. My grip tightened around the phone, making the case groan. I had my mate. No one could ever compare to Kelly, and I wanted to nurture what we had instead of complying with my mother’s desires.

Should I let the proverbial cat out of the bag and tell her the truth? It would be better to let someone else know about Kelly than just Chad.

While I should talk with the Pack Council—or our Alpha about her—I didn’t feel comfortable with that. With how Kelly had acted earlier, I knew she needed the Pack, but I also knew she’d need to keep control of herself if she had any hope of remaining alive. I needed to fill the gaps of her knowledge more before she wound up in a tight spot.

“I don’t know, Mom.”

“Is there a reason you’re not interested in finding someone? Have you already found the woman for you, perhaps?”

That same knowing tone in her voice had me trembling. Fuck! My jaw clenched, and I tried to think of what to say. Yes! I’m with the perfect mate! But my lips wouldn’t move. The words died on my tongue.

“Jacob? I think you may know more than you’re saying. Talk with me about what’s bothering you. If you do, I may be able to help you, dear.”

Now I knew something was up. Should I tell her I needed to go? It’d be a good idea, but I couldn’t just ditch the ones who loved me. A small amount of truth was the better path here. “I have, Mom, but I don’t want to get into this with you right now. Let’s talk later.” I kneaded my fingers into the stiff muscles at the back of my neck.

“Wait, you should know you can talk with me. The Pack knows about your woman, but Aaron wishes to speak with you before anyone else presses you on the subject. I understand you’re in a difficult position right now. During your voicemail, you spoke to a woman you called babe. Do you wish to tell me more about her? I had hoped you would mate a born female wolf. Is that not true?”

Dread curled in my gut. They’d known all along? I couldn’t believe it. This made it more imperative for me to talk with the Council—or even come clean to my mom. Aaron Fitzroy had shown some sympathy—at least I hoped—by wanting to talk to me directly. Was that a good thing? I didn’t know how to take it.

“Kelly’s a girl I attend university with.” I recounted what had happened that night. “Finally, I tracked the men who took her to the research facility.” The dull headache became a stabbing feeling behind my eyes. “While I should’ve contacted the Pack, I didn’t think Kelly had enough time to wait for the wolves to mobilize. I thought I could rescue her myself. That was a mistake. However, they…” My voice cracked, memories drifting back of seeing her feral and bleeding on that dirty floor.

I cleared my throat. “They made her one of us. I don’t know how, but I believe they provoked one of our captured members to change her. We haven’t talked about it, but she whimpers about it in her sleep sometimes.” This conversation made me want to go curl up in bed and hold Kelly.

“We consummated our relationship that night. Kelly was almost feral under the full moon’s influence.” I squeezed my eyes shut, hating this trip down memory lane. “They experimented on us, and I felt so helpless. We tried to run away and almost escaped. I called Shane, but it was no use…” My throat tightened with unshed tears. “I wasn’t strong enough to protect her.”

“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry.” She sniffled and blew her nose like she was crying. She cared. I should’ve known. “You did your best for Kelly. Why don’t you bring her with you? The Pack can get to know her. It’ll be good for you both. She can learn about us in a better environment.”

“I don’t know. What about the Alpha’s decree of putting newly created wolves to death?” I’d heard Chad’s take on this, but my mom was on the Council. If one of them lied, I’d know. “How will I know she’s safe?” The line went silent except for her soft sniffles. “Mom?”

“I can’t speak to that, but I believe Aaron wouldn’t kill an innocent wolf.” She cleared her throat. “Not long ago, Jared changed a new wolf by force. Aaron agreed to let him live.”

“Let me guess. This new wolf is in the military?”

“You’ve heard of Ethan then. From Chad, I presume?” The distaste in her voice at Chad’s name was curious. Was that because of the witch tricking him? Apparently, he wasn’t in favor with many people these days. But he was my friend. He’d been there for me in the Pack’s forest and more.

“Yeah.”

“Just know we’re not out to hurt you, dear.” Her tone crisped back to an official councilmember instead of the doting mom. “You’re cared for among the Pack. Believe me. We don’t seek to steal your happiness or claim an innocent’s life.”

While I wanted to trust her, I didn’t feel comfortable with the direction this conversation was going. “Talk to you later, Mom. I’ve got to fix dinner.”

“Jacob, I don’t want to argue with you, especially after what you experienced. I hope you’ll see the Pack’s perspective on this. It would be for the best. You’ve faced more than anyone should have to. I will contact Aaron, but think on this more. You need to take responsibility for your future and the woman you care for. Both of you should be on a better path than the one you’re on now. It might be hard to build up the strength needed to stand before the Council, but you can overcome outstanding odds. You nearly rescued Kelly from the research facility on your own. That proves how capable you are.” She sighed. “If you need to talk, I’m always here for you.”

“Thanks, Mom. I’ll keep that in mind. See you later.” I hung up the phone, not wanting to continue the conversation. Dealing with her councilmember side was annoying despite her supportiveness.

I tucked my phone away, regretting I hadn’t asked how she was doing. But this relationship stuff was too much on top of everything else. I padded into the kitchen to check the fridge. My energy levels dipped lower by the minute. The thought of heading to my bedroom and curling up beside Kelly was alluring. But if I went in there, she’d know something was up. How could I explain the conversation with my mother to her?

I didn’t want to.

Pizza, it is. I kicked back on the couch and ordered two large pizzas before letting my eyes rest. It might not be a home-cooked meal like I’d hoped, but it was better than nothing.

Time slipped by as I waited. While I’d love to nap, my brain refused to shut off after talking with Mom, so I listened to the soft sounds of Kelly’s snores until the doorbell finally rang.

The pizzas had arrived.

I cracked open the bedroom door to see Kelly curled up in a ball beneath the blankets where I’d left her. My breath caught at how beautiful, if not vulnerable, she looked. The heartstrings in my chest pulled tight as I stood there, and the overwhelming desire to crawl into bed with her and cradle her in my arms nearly broke me.

All this time, I’d wanted nothing more than to protect her, but what if I was only making things worse for her? For both of us?

My Pack knew about Kelly, but did they know what she meant to me?

I needed to act before someone else chose my life’s direction. A renewed sense of purpose thrummed through my veins. As much as I wanted to keep us both locked away from the world, that wasn’t the answer. The only way through this was to face things head-on, even if it meant being uncomfortable as hell.

I tapped on the doorframe. “Babe? It’s time to eat.”

Kelly rubbed her eyes and stretched. The shadows beneath them saddened me, but I doubted I looked much better. “Already?” The blankets pooled in her lap as she sat blinking at the alarm clock. “I guess I slept longer than I’d thought.” She looked at me, then dropped her gaze. That small gesture sparked a flicker of concern. Was she hiding something? I made a note to circle back later. Now wasn’t the time to press for answers.

“I ordered pizza. I checked the kitchen, but I’m kind of tired after…” I shrugged a shoulder. “Earlier.”

Her head dipped, and her lower lip quivered. “I’m sorry.”

I crossed the room in a few long strides. Hearing those words from her—again—broke my heart. “No, Kelly. You don’t need to apologize.” I sat beside her on the bed and wrapped my arm around her shoulders, drawing her close. “Do you understand?”

“I…” She rested her head against my chest and nodded. “Okay.”

We sat there in silence while I stroked her back. The pizza could wait. If it got cold, we could nuke it, but Kelly needed this time. And I wanted to be there for her.

I finally broke the silence, knowing I needed to. If she wasn’t up to talking, that was fine, but she had to know I was here for her. “You know you can tell me what’s on your mind.”

Her body, which had started to relax in my arms, went rigid. “I… I know. Thank you.”

“No problem.” The tension unsettled me, but I wasn’t without my own secrets. Should I tell her what my mother had said? The Pack knew about her? Should she know I’d feared for her safety? That wouldn’t help her current state of mind. If anything, it’d just make things worse. I only wanted to make things better for her.

Unfortunately, the first step to doing that was going to be speaking with my Alpha and getting all of this straightened out. While I didn’t want to stand before the Pack Council yet, I couldn’t put Aaron Fitzroy off any longer.