Page 9 of The Wildcat and the Rogue (The Shifter Season #8)

EWAN

No matter how much I try to keep my mind off what almost happened in Jane's room last night, my thoughts can't seem to help wandering back to the almost kiss. I missed my chance before she left for Scotland, and I've always vowed that if I found myself in the same position again, then I wouldn't lose out again. I would kiss her so deeply that she could truly understand the extent of my feelings for her.

And yet when we were given a chance to do that, we were interrupted by a maid. And in a way, that is going to make things all the more complicated for us.

A manservant opens the door to me, and I dip my head politely. "Mr Milne to see Miss Whisking," I say, realising that I have no recollection of her cousin's name. Perhaps I never knew it, and he didn't introduce himself last night as he should have.

Then again, I suppose I should not have been in his cousin's room at such an hour, so we are both at fault for the interaction.

"This way, sir," the servant responds, leading me to a drawing room door. The house is grander than I expect it to be, but perhaps I am thinking of the Whiskings house back home in my expectations, and clearly the cousin is from a wealthier branch of the family.

I take a deep breath and step inside, stopping in my tracks when I realise only Jane is in the room.

She leaps to her feet, looking at me with wide eyes. "You're here."

"Where else would I be?" I ask.

"You could have run back to Scotland. It's my reputation at risk, not yours," she points out.

"Hardly. People will still talk."

"You're a man, Ewan. It would pass for you."

"Yes." It is an unfair truth and one I wish could be different.

"If that's what you choose to do, then I will not blame you," she says, her voice hitching in her throat. "Perhaps that would be easier in some ways."

"Easier?" I step closer, not really knowing what to do with myself. I don't like hearing her talk this way. I've wanted to court her for so long, and I never intended on doing that without marriage in mind. It pains me to hear her talk about our potential marriage this way.

"I needed a husband who could provide for my mother and sisters after what your father did to mine," she responds forcefully. "Can you imagine how they are going to respond when I return home and tell them that I am your wife?"

I raise an eyebrow, and move even closer, not wanting to be so far away while we have this conversation. "Is that the only reason you would say no?"

"I am unable to say no," Jane points out. "As are you. I should have known better than to invite you into my room."

"Perhaps."

Surprise flits over her face. "I thought you might argue more with that."

"I do not wish to make you miserable, Jane. I shouldn't have come through your window."

"No."

"But if your only reason for not wishing to marry me is the fact that I can't provide for your family, then we are fortunate."

"That is hardly true. I do not believe your barony is particularly wealthy, you said yourself that your father is spending money faster than he can make it. Certainly not enough to support all four of my sisters." Her voice cracks, and I long to make it better.

"Jane, you do not have to worry."

She gives me a disbelieving look.

"Before we were interrupted yesterday, I was telling you about my work," I say.

"Yes, to retrieve the necklace from Lady Whitstripe," she responds. She must notice the shock on my face as she pulls my pocketbook from her dress and holds it out to me. "You left this behind when my cousin told you to leave the room. I took the liberty of reading it."

"Well, we are to be married. I can't have secrets."

"I'm sure there are many husbands in society who would disagree with you on that."

"Perhaps, but theirs are not the marriages I wish for ours to be like," I respond earnestly.

"I suppose now that I'm to be your wife, I may be able to help you with trying to get the necklace from Lady Whitstripe."

"Perhaps, but that is hardly what I was thinking of," I say. "The work I do comes with money. You've seen how much if you read what's in here." I take the pocketbook from her and slip it away just in case her cousin reappears.

"Mmm. I'm still unclear how this work came about."

"I was approached by a gentleman who offered it to me."

She raises an eyebrow. "It seems suspicious that he'd just offer it to you."

"I suppose the son of a baron can gain access to many places a commoner cannot," I respond. "I have been working for years to put aside a fortune of my own so that my father's mistakes."

"What are you saying?" she asks.

"That I can care for you," I promise, stepping forward and resisting the urge to reach out and touch her. "And for your mother and sisters."

"Why would you do that?"

"It is in part my family's fault that yours is in dire straits."

"That is something I can't refute," she responds.

"And I am sorry for it. Had I known what my father was doing, I would have done more to protect you."

"And what of everyone else whose fortunes have been ruined by your father?" she asks. "I doubt this is the first time something like this has happened."

I grimace. "Unfortunately not. I have done my best, Jane. I am hoping that with more money and influence, I can take legal recourse to ensure that my father can cause no further damage."

"That is a lofty aim."

"And it is taking time. I let Father believe that I came to London to find a wife, like he wished me to, but I hoped not to marry until after this issue was resolved. I did not wish to bring someone else into this mess."

"I suspect that option has now flown the nest."

"Yes." I reach out to take her hand, thrilled when she doesn't pull away. "But if there is anyone I would wish to marry before my plans are complete, it is you. If you had stayed in Scotland..." I trail off, unable to finish my statement.

"If I had stayed in Scotland, what?" She looks up with wide eyes, and I can see the hope within them.

"Then I would have asked if we could court," I say softly. "With every intention of marriage." The moment the words are out of my mouth, I feel a sense of relief. It's been weighing on me the entire time we've been spending time with one another. The truth of what I want.

She sucks in a sharp breath. "You would truly have wished that?"

"Yes," I whisper. "When you left Scotland, it felt like a piece of me left with you, and I had no idea where to look to find it. And there was a part of me that wondered if you were trying to escape from me."

"No," she says firmly. "I had no choice. After everything that happened with your father, I couldn't stay in Scotland. No one would have married me, even you couldn't have."

"Perhaps not," I agree.

"So I left. I came here in the hope of finding a husband who would support me and my family. I believe it was an impossible task I set myself, especially when I come from a family on the verge of destitution. I'm fortunate that my cousin agreed to house me, though that is now a thing of the past. I'm surprised he's let me out of my room to speak with you now. Though I think he thought he'd be present for such a conversation."

"Perhaps," I respond. "But Jane, it does not matter. You will move into my London house. You can invite your mother and your sisters as soon as you wish, and we shall make the best of it. No one here knows what my father did. You've been presented, and as my wife, you would be able to present your sisters to the Shifter Queen, and perhaps they will find husbands of their own to love and care for them."

"And what of their dowries? My father lost those to yours along with the rest of our fortune."

My heart aches for her. "I shall provide. It is the least I can do, considering it is my blood's fault you are in this predicament to begin with."

"That is true."

"It is. And..."

The door opens, and I resist the urge to curse at the misfortune of the two of us being interrupted again. I want to tell her how I feel, to finish the conversation with her firm in the knowledge of how much I want her to be my wife.

Jane's cousin storms into the room, an unhappy expression on his face, which only worsens when he sees the two of us standing so close together.

"Why was I not told of Mr Milne's arrival?" he snaps at Jane.

"I thought one of the servants had gone to tell you," she responds. "My instructions were to remain in this room."

He huffs and turns to me. "Well? Will you do the honourable thing and marry my cousin?"

"I will." It isn't even a hardship to say it. That's what I want more than anything.

"I expect the banns to be read this Sunday. And if you can get a common license, all the better," he says.

"I shall see what I can do," I respond.

He eyes me up, and for a moment, I think he's going to say something about forcing the situation, but he must think better of it. "We shall see you at the wedding," he says firmly, making it clear that I've been dismissed.

I give Jane what I hope is a reassuring smile before leaving, planning on doing everything in my power to get a common license so that she is able to leave this house behind.